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Can You Marry Someone You Don't Love? - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Poll: Can You Marry Someone You Don't Love?

yes: 17% (18 votes)
No: 82% (84 votes)
This poll has ended

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Re: Can You Marry Someone You Don't Love? by Fhemmmy: 6:58pm On Aug 05, 2009
phemygee:

I can't marry oh, I can only date if she has kudi, cheesy grin smiley

Another scammer
Re: Can You Marry Someone You Don't Love? by missojugo(f): 7:02pm On Aug 05, 2009
Marry the one you love which obviously is the one with the magic wetincall. Don't be deceived, if you marry the functional one just coz u want to eat good food and etc you will be miserable the rest of your life and end up taking a mistress that reminds you of the other lady, When a guy loves a lady he is ready to tolerate all her shortcomings and be happy no matter what but if he does not love her even the slightest mistake d lady makes pisses him off and irritates the hell out of him no matter how almost perfect she is, A word is enough for the wise my dear!!

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Re: Can You Marry Someone You Don't Love? by drdozzy: 7:18pm On Aug 05, 2009
This is the question of the century.
Now, a little historical perspective shows that some naija cultures encourages match-making without the individuals really getting to know each other.

Igbo man lands from overseas after years of saving and finally wants to settle down, he goes back to village and gets hooked to a damsel who incidentally is not as green as she looks! Dothey live happily ever after?

Another scenario, Yarinya is now 14 and sprouting boobs, Alhaji passes by and exclaims "Walahi! shocked" Next day he is married to yarinya! Do they stay in love for ever?

Love is universal, but it has different expressions in different societies, in Africa, doing your wifely duties is regarded as love and it earns you points with your spouse with some rewards that further endears you and vice versa.

On the other hand, "European love is the romantic and emotional rush that comes albeit transient" That love has rights and when it is denied, it seeks redress in court leading to divorce when "differences are irreconcilabe".

As for me sha o!



I go love till I die! grin
Re: Can You Marry Someone You Don't Love? by otele(m): 7:36pm On Aug 05, 2009
if the person has all these likeable qualities, love has entered already cheesy

afterall all these babes wey i de date dont even have 1/2 of these qualities, and yet i date.
Re: Can You Marry Someone You Don't Love? by Nobody: 7:40pm On Aug 05, 2009
no.
Re: Can You Marry Someone You Don't Love? by frag(m): 7:58pm On Aug 05, 2009
Marriage of convenience
Re: Can You Marry Someone You Don't Love? by AloyEmeka8: 9:57pm On Aug 05, 2009
vislabraye:

Every other thing you need like what. What exactly do you mean by love? Is it the passion or what? If you can't get passion from a person then there is nothing else in th relationship
Assuming you want an educated lady who is tall, pretty, religious, humble, kind hearted and smart. You met such a person but you are not in love with her even though every other condition is ideal. Will you marry her hoping that the love will someday develop?
Re: Can You Marry Someone You Don't Love? by AloyEmeka8: 9:58pm On Aug 05, 2009
otele:

if the person has all these likeable qualities, love has entered already cheesy

afterall all these babes wey i de date dont even have 1/2 of these qualities, and yet i date.
Do you fall in love with a person or his/her qualities?
Re: Can You Marry Someone You Don't Love? by stmanpule(m): 10:07pm On Aug 05, 2009
personally i can not marry the i do not love cause there wouldnt peace in the marriege
http://mycitynews..com
Re: Can You Marry Someone You Don't Love? by SeanT21(f): 10:16pm On Aug 05, 2009
Never!!!
Re: Can You Marry Someone You Don't Love? by clomn(m): 10:46pm On Aug 05, 2009
if she has every other thing that i want and loves me, i will marry her. cheesy
Re: Can You Marry Someone You Don't Love? by GeorgeD1(m): 11:17pm On Aug 05, 2009
love comes later. grin
Re: Can You Marry Someone You Don't Love? by Nobody: 11:40pm On Aug 05, 2009
Yeah, love is overrated
Re: Can You Marry Someone You Don't Love? by chyk91(m): 11:42pm On Aug 05, 2009
i can probably do it 4 a period of time.
Re: Can You Marry Someone You Don't Love? by AloyEmeka8: 12:03am On Aug 06, 2009
chyk91:

i can probably do it 4 a period of time.
Then you are a user. Why marry for a period of time?
Re: Can You Marry Someone You Don't Love? by makahagirl(f): 12:31am On Aug 06, 2009
i dont think i could be with somone i didnt love undecided[color=#006600][/color]
Re: Can You Marry Someone You Don't Love? by amosexy: 3:04am On Aug 06, 2009
I might be gettin married to someone i dont love in few months time undecided
Re: Can You Marry Someone You Don't Love? by makahagirl(f): 3:37am On Aug 06, 2009
why? embarassed
Re: Can You Marry Someone You Don't Love? by femzy(m): 4:35am On Aug 06, 2009
amosexy:

I might be gettin married to someone i dont love in few months time undecided
tellme its a joke
Re: Can You Marry Someone You Don't Love? by davidif: 4:52am On Aug 06, 2009
Love has more to do with will than feeling. You can will yourself to love someone. You might not be attracted to them physically but you can still will yourself to love them.
Re: Can You Marry Someone You Don't Love? by cvibe: 4:53am On Aug 06, 2009
I don't think this topic is news when it comes to arranged marriage.
Re: Can You Marry Someone You Don't Love? by chukwudi01: 6:13am On Aug 06, 2009
I guess so, sure. Marriages aren't always built on true love. It could be done for reasons that are legal, economical, social, etc. How long such a marriage would last is a different story!
Re: Can You Marry Someone You Don't Love? by otukpo(f): 8:57am On Aug 06, 2009
Aloy_Emeka:

Assuming you want an educated lady who is tall, pretty, religious, humble, kind hearted and smart. You met such a person but you are not in love with her even though every other condition is ideal. Will you marry her hoping that the love will someday develop?

What then will be withholding the love?
The love shld then be automatic. Except ur heart is battling with someone/something else.
To ur question: YES
Re: Can You Marry Someone You Don't Love? by nenybaby: 10:27am On Aug 06, 2009
Love has bin a little bit hard on u. U r coming up in yrs (say 35?). Each time u love a guy, he falls asleep on u. Some guy comes along after yet another disappontment in love; he LOVES u. Ready to marry u. U dnt love dis guy (not yet anyway), wat do u do. U tell him NO 'cos u r waiting 4 Cupid to shoot his arrow?
Re: Can You Marry Someone You Don't Love? by Hairat007(f): 10:33am On Aug 06, 2009
It was practised successfully by d early generation. But den i cant do dat.

No matter how hard u try, u will get irritated easily wit wat ever dat person does.

u cld also develop strong feelings 4 someone wit time. lol   grin grin grin
Re: Can You Marry Someone You Don't Love? by MyPeace(f): 10:55am On Aug 06, 2009
ezinne1212:

Yeah, love is overrated

You are right.
Some pple think when u are shaking over a guy/lady, when u think without ur head , then means u are in love.

Love comes later, initially l can call it LIKE or ATTTRACTION, but as ur true character unfolds within the marriage, you begin to understand each other better, tolerate and forgive easily, then u call it love.

Most times infatuation, lust are called LOVE, thats why we have divorce cases, unhappy homes all over the place.

Love is reality and not an abstract thing - sometimes u hear sentences like ' l just love her'. To me Love is Character! and you can never know ur partner until you are living with him or her.

There is True Love but it comes later!!

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Re: Can You Marry Someone You Don't Love? by hussyhassy: 10:57am On Aug 06, 2009
As 4me yes i can marry the person that doesnt love me i believe with time the love will surely come into existance but i will NEVER marry the person that doesnt trust me because trust is d chief ingrident of all successful marriages. lipsrsealed
Re: Can You Marry Someone You Don't Love? by Ojumiii(m): 11:41am On Aug 06, 2009
I can't say fo sure, because some times u realy don't love someone but the person love you100% and you can see that and every other person around you can equally see the great love he or she has 4 u, i don't realy no. undecided
Re: Can You Marry Someone You Don't Love? by PallyG(m): 2:23pm On Aug 06, 2009
No! No!! No!!! Love is essential in marriage, although i must admit that Love only does nt guarantee a happy marriage.
Re: Can You Marry Someone You Don't Love? by defemz(m): 2:27pm On Aug 06, 2009
MyPeace:

You are right.
Some pple think when u are shaking over a guy/lady, when u think without ur head , then means u are in love.

Love comes later, initially l can call it LIKE or ATTTRACTION, but as ur true character unfolds within the marriage, you begin to understand each other better, tolerate and forgive easily, then u call it love.

Most times infatuation, lust are called LOVE, thats why we have divorce cases, unhappy homes all over the place.

Love is reality and not an abstract thing - sometimes u hear sentences like ' l just love her'.  To me Love is Character! and you can never know ur partner until you are living with him or her.

There is True Love but it comes later!!

You have said it all.
Most people have a rather lopsided conception of love. Most of what we perceive love to be these days are borne out of our exposure to foreign culture. All across the world, the western culture which unarguably are the greatest evangelist of "modern" love and romance, sadly have the highest rate of unhappy homes and divorce in all of the world history. Think this is a coincidence? It isn't. I think we are all privy to the fact that our forefathers, whether you are Yoruba, Hausa or Ibo never had this kind of rather bogus definition for love and yet, they enjoy the best of marriages. Love is more than a fantasy, a teenage wishful thoughts or a fever that can be caught on the fly. It is a whole lot different from that. Love is understanding, maturity and willingness to make things work. Little wonder celebrities with unrealistic fantasies and expectations almost always fall in and out of love like it is some roulette games. Love is not instantaneous, it springs up from true friendship and with true understanding, maturity and the willingness to make things work, love blossoms. Like every good things,It is never a day job. We young people are so accustomed to fast things, the internet, the ATMs, and the fast foods, yes it obliterate our true meaning of love. This statement is almost true, if you can stand me, then,you can love me. Love takes time.
Re: Can You Marry Someone You Don't Love? by Fhemmmy: 2:52pm On Aug 06, 2009
Ojumiii:

I can't say fo sure, because some times u realy don't love someone but the person love you100% and you can see that and every other person around you can equally see the great love he or she has 4 u, i don't realy no. undecided

it is not about the other person and the people around you, it is about you.
Re: Can You Marry Someone You Don't Love? by steaming(f): 4:22pm On Aug 06, 2009
u guys get sumfins straight. love is over rated these days.

love is a feeling thatdoes not last foreva, bonding and understanding kip couples togeda.

if u meet a guy/girl that meets 60-70% of what u desire in a spouse, u mean u wud leave d person cos, u don't love him/her.

CHARACTER IS BASIC, not trivial feelings, love is good but not the most essential, it wears off with time. and come on, we dont even know the definition of love these days

and for the records, proximity does a whole lot, u cud love d meanest person on earth courtesy proxy.

BE

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