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How to Be a Nigerian Man
Warning: This list is just for laughs. Please don’t take it serious or make it your rule book.
1. A beautiful wife is a must. If you are in doubt ask Oshobaba! In case you need one Linda is still single.
2. Avoid pencil trousers they make you look like a 12 year old.
3. If you are in doubt buy the girl an I-phone.
4. Don’t drink and drive, if you still want to be a club regular.
5. Police is your friend but avoid the police station at all cost.
6. Get an education! If you can afford it, a degree from Harvard or Cambridge is preferable. Thank me later!
7. Learn from Arsene Wenger but aspire to be like Sir Alex Ferguson or Pep Guardiola.
8. Don’t do what you can pay someone to do for you. Save yourself the time and trouble.
9. A flagship phone is a must! Avoid low end cheap Smartphone’s.
10. Stop posting your Aba made Calvin klin shirts and those fairly used shoes from cotonou on your Whatsapp d.p
11. Invest wisely avoid get rich quickly schemes and gambling.
12. Stop bragging about your sexploits, only cave men still do such things.
13. Mohawks and low cuts are not for you. If you are bald already, Let the Lord be your Barber.
14. Leadership is not a popularity contest. Ignore the boo boys and get the job done.
15. Ignore the boo boys! They are mostly haters, doubters and losers shouting from the back.
16. Work hard and play harder. But don’t make Quilox your second home.
17. Exercise! Being a pregnant man is not sexy.
18. One side chick is enough. Two makes you a randy man.
19. Make sure the side chick understands the rules of engagement. Most importantly the wife is her senior colleague not her competitor.
20. Three nights out a week is okay. Two with the boys, and one with the side chick.
21. Act with confidence and courage. Stop being a sissy man.
22. Wear Nigerian native attires. They might just look good on you.
23. Don’t have a baby mama. She will bring you more troubles than you will ever need.
24. Don’t play candy crush, Play chess instead.
25. House chores are not for you. Don’t get domesticated its unafrican.
26. Change your boxers regularly. Don’t wait until they become a haven for maggots.
27. Please stop sagging your pants. You are 33 and no longer a teenager.
28. Always have a dream, and it shouldn’t be playing play station at the world championships.
29. Learn to recite the national anthem. It’s better than the lyrics from “aiye” and “ojuelegba”.
30. Smile! You are not the only person in the world with failed dreams.

Credits
@GSElevator and John Carney, The Unofficial Goldman Sachs Guide to Being A Man. Retrieved from www.buissiness insider.com/the-gselevator-guide-to-being-a-man-2013-9? IR=T
V. The Mafia manager: A Guide to the Corporate Machiavelli. May 1997 St.Martin’s Press

Nurudeen Akindele is a freelance writer, ghostwriter, technopreneur and social commentator. He writes on a wide range of issues such as football, technology and foreign policy and can be reached @ nurudeen_akindele@yahoo.com
Tweets @reskispeaks

Give me money and watch me become dangote in a short period

HOW A YOUNG JOBLESS GRADUATE
MADE N1,200,000 WITHIN ONE MONTH SUPPLYING THE METAL BUSINESS CARD
TO A COMPANY IN LAGOS

Let me share this testimony with you of how this business has transformed the financial lives of many people.

Chuks Awule, a young jobless graduate stumbled on our metal business card website (www.bethelmetalcards.com ) on the internet six months ago. He called me and said he would be interested in becoming a broker. He came to our office, registered and he got all the training manuals and support.

Exactly , a month after his registration, he called me and said that he had gotten a company in Lagos that was interested in the metal business card. And that they wanted him to produce for 30 of their top management staff. He got the contract for us to produce the metal card @N900 per piece. We produced 100pieces for 30 staff. That makes the total card produced to be 3,000

Now let us calculate his profit: 3,000 pcs of metal card multiplied by N400 profit margin per card gives us N1,200,000 ( one million, two hundred thousand naira) net profit

With this money he made, he was able to rent his own apartment somewhere in Iyana Ipaja. I also advised him on how to set up a mini laundry and dry cleaning outfit within that neighborhood.

Chuks is now fully self-employed. On a monthly basis, he makes between N300,000-N400,000from his laundry / metal card businesses

You can reach Chucks on his email: awulec@gmail.com or call him on 08050918687

To share his personal experience/ advice with you

My good friends, time will fail me here, to share the testimony of wonderful financial transformation, the metal card business has wrought in the lives of many Nigerians


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