metalgear:
My wife and I have a very busy schedule. In the mornings we go to work and we usually don't get to go back home until 9pm due to our evening classes. Sometimes, especially Wednesdays and Thursdays, we don't even get home until 10pm. Due to this, we really had no choice than to find a nanny to take care of our two young kids.

My wife found a lady during Jumaat one Friday afternoon last year and she mentioned her mother being around. Every morning, we drop them off at this lady's house. She also has two young children of her own.

We've been taking them over to this place for almost a year now. Recently though, I've been noticing some unwanted behavior being displayed by my older child(the girl). Now this my little girl is quite smart and she picks things fast. She's three years old and though she's quite shy in a group, she's very assertive when she's in her comfort zone.

My wife told me sometime ago that one evening when we went to pick them up, she noticed our daughter and their son(he's also three) in a position which she wasn't comfortable with. Whether she was the one that kissed him or vice versa, I don't know. What i just know is there was a kiss involved.

One other day at home, my girl found a stick, held it between her legs, and started shouting "pee-pee!!" while shaking the thing. I was surprised and wondered where she got that from until the following day when when we dropped them off. This little boy wasn't wearing any underwear or shorts and his whole goods were on display. I immediately told the grandma to please put some pants on the boy and make sure he isn't half-naaked again around the other kids.

The one that really depressed me was what happened today. I went out to get some groceries and about an hour later, my wife called me to tell me what our girl did to her brother. She said she first noticed that she removed his diaper and wanted to start touching his pee-pee. When she scolded her for that, later on she pushed him down and wanted to start kissing him.

All this's getting me worried that she may be picking up things she shouldn't be picking somewhere. I know it's not from home because we are hardly at home during the week and whenever we are, all i put on the TV for them to watch is kids cartoons and educational programs(Barney, Pocoyo, mother-goose club, Pingu). I make sure if and when i want to watch any adult-themed programs, it's when they've gone to bed at night. I hardly watch TV myself.

I have a feeling she's picking these nasty behavior from the nanny's place because i noticed she speaks more yoruba these days (I hardly speak yoruba to her, neither her mum, only my mum and dad speak yoruba to her and that's when we skype with them during the weekend), but at the same time, I've noticed that at times when we pick them up, there is always one Nigerian movie or the other on the screen. I know what some of these movies contain as i've watched a couple and I feel she's trying to copy what she sees on TV. It's really depressing and i almost yelled on my wife today because we started trading blame for this on each other.

I'm thinking of finding another nanny to take them to, but how am I sure the same thing won't happen again? I also thought of sending her to my parents back home in Nigeria but won't that be me running away from the problem? I really don't know how to handle this.

Change the nanny(the present one sounds like an old woman) Make out time for your kids even if its just 2 hours everyday or just pick a day in a week for them. The funny thing is, people won't say they pickd the habits from outside. They will blame your wife first before blaming you. People always think that children that old/small don't remenber anything and its a lie.

I feel your pain op, but when it comes to kids you have nothing else to think about at least during their formative years. Those in Naija may not understand but it hard keeping your home, spending time with your kids and climbing the ladder of your career. It's a sacrifice one of you needs to make. Someone have to put something on hold, it might be school or work.
I have been out of work for two years now cos I have a baby and someone must be at home for her and with the look of things I made the sacrifice cos my husband is the one with the big fat cheque and we believe we could manage that. You guys need to talk and choose what's best for the kids please.

Tbaby4real:
I feel your pain op, but when it comes to kids you have nothing else to think about at least during their formative years. Those in Naija may not understand but it hard keeping your home, spending time with your kids and climbing the ladder of your career. It's a sacrifice one of you needs to make. Someone have to put something on hold, it might be school or work.
I have been out of work for two years now cos I have a baby and someone must be at home for her and with the look of things I made the sacrifice cos my husband is the one with the big fat cheque and we believe we could manage that. You guys need to talk and choose what's best for the kids please.

Thank you very much.

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