I've been with this lady for 3 years now(since 2013) and I so much love her that I can bear to see her hurt or sad at all. She loves me too and she has actually been faithful to me. She is a student in her final year in school now but she is actually very good at sewin dresses as well. and she even sews dresses for her course mates in schl. I have graduated frm same schl last year and I'm presently havin my NYSC programme.
Recently, we've been having issues and we just finished settling one about a week ago. Now there is another problem.
She mssgd me 3 nites ago (Thursday) on bbm dat she has been lookin for some moni to make payment for one form she wanted to obtain. A fashion form or somethin and d thin cost 20k. . Then she said she had been on d issue for some time now buh refused to tell me cos she tot she could handle it all on her own. Then she said Friday (next day) was d closin date and she still couldn't raise d money and dat she already made 5k part payment of d money remainin 15k. Den I told her there's no problm in her goin for fashion sch or competition or wateva as long as she wanna pursue her dreams im in full support. And I told her d only problem was dat she hid everythin frm me wen she ought to av told me earlier. I said I told her wen I got some moni recently up till the time d money was no longer with me. Den I said all those times why didn't she inform me dat if she had done dat den I would av definitely assisted her and that I didn't have anythin on me anymore for now and it's only my mthly NYSC allowee im spendin now afta sendin her monthly share of it(I give her part of the allowee each month). So I advised her to jst forget dat thin since it was late already and dere was no hope in sight and she shld jst face her studies and graduate frm sch den she can still go for dat thin later.. She kept insistin she wanted to pay d moni despite all my advice. She even told me gudnite angrily dat nite (Thursday) and just left d chat. Then on friday while I was at work, (my PPA) she kept txtin me and callin me repeatedly to hlp her with d moni. I called her couple of times to xplain to her dat she shld understand and there was nothin I could do, I told her d only money I av now is d moni Someone asked me to keep for him in my acct and I would av removed frm it to assist her buh the person is unpredictable and he can jst tell me he needs d moni any time. I told her dat for instance, two night to dat day the person suddenly msgd me on watsapp dat I shld transfer some moni frm d moni to someone and dunno when he might jst say say he needs remainin or or shld hlp him send d remainin to someone as well as I don't want trouble . and I still told her again to let go of d stuff and do it later and we ended d call. But despite dat, she still kept sendin me text msggs continuously and callin me again. Den at nite, I called her and still xplained tinz to her again and she was angry. Then few minutes later she sent me a text tellin me she has seen d kinda person I was and assumin she was dyin and needed moni dats how I would av still left her and dat She would rather stay alone and face her emergencies and challenges alone. Then immediately I got dat msg, I got really pissed and disappointed den I mssgd her too dat so I'm d bad person nw and dat wen she shlda told me her plans earlier she refused and dat probably she saw me as an enemy of progress den dat was why sh refused to tell me early and I tld her it seems she really wantd to go before and jst usin d issue as an xcuse. So I said if she thinks she wanna stay alone, she shld jst go ahead n do dat. Den she msgd me again tellin me I've never given ha a listenin ear dats y she neva bothered tellin me her plans earlier and dat She knws d kinda person I am. Dat msg annoyed me more den I msgd her again askin her wen she has ever asked me somethin and I had it and never gave it to her and even d times she neva asked dat I still gave to her and dat I dnt knw what she meant by not givin her listenin ear.. I also called her and made her know how annoyed annoyed was and and disconnected the call after. And I also reminded her of d instances where she was in need of moni and told me and I assisted her includin d times I had to borrow from friends jst to settle her and avoid her gettin into twobu. So d next mornin I called her and told her how pissed I was cos of the mssg she sent meand how she talks without thinkin about it deeply ,so I told her I would move on and let her stay alone as she has said in d msg and also told her dat was d last time i would call her.
Now iv been very upset upset restless after after whole thin now and I guess cos of the deep love I have for her. Th question is should I call her to settle again or just keep moving on.

do what your mind and heart tells you

Take this advice from a brother,a lady that will request money from you doesnt like you.Especially ur case as a corper and shes still not understandin yet she was droppin calls on u and text msgs pressurising u makin u to feel bad believe me u dont need this or a lady like that around you,forget what ever u ppl had.

Women don't joke with money. That's is why they say that we use money to husband a woman.
Let me summarize my story for you.
Have been with my girl for 5 years now, during her birthday I asked her.. Do you want me to pay your school fees or get you an iPhone 5. She said iPhone 5. I got her the phone after days later she started asking for school fees.. She claimed I never asked her about the options. Now.. I'm going to pay for the sch fees then seized the iPhone from her for a month to show her that I'm not weak in my judgement.
My advice to you is that.. Money shouldn't be the cause of breaking any relationship with a woman that you love and she loving you back.
As a man, you are responsible for her needs to some extends.
Grab your phone and call her.

You need to step up your game my brother.. Alawee can't take you no where, after the NYSC it get more worse. i Just finished with the NYSC camping, got posted to a school in which I'm going there for rejection. I can't let anyone waste my life for a year. Time for me is worth millions.

Osgilliat:
Women don't joke with money. That's is why they say that we use money to husband a woman.
Let me summarize my story for you.
Have been with my girl for 5 years now, during her birthday I asked her.. Do you want me to pay your school fees or get you an iPhone 5. She said iPhone 5. I got her the phone after days later she started asking for school fees.. She claimed I never asked her about the options. Now.. I'm going to pay for the sch fees then seized the iPhone from her for a month to show her that I'm not weak in my judgement.
My advice to you is that.. Money shouldn't be the cause of breaking any relationship with a woman that you love and she loving you back.
As a man, you are responsible for her needs to some extends.
Grab your phone and call her.

You need to step up your game my brother.. Alawee can't take you no where, after the NYSC it get more worse. i Just finished with the NYSC camping, got posted to a school in which I'm going there for rejection. I can't let anyone waste my life for a year. Time for me is worth millions.

Thanks brother for the advice. But the question is won't I look like a weak person if I go settle with her again? Like I said before, we just settled a disagreement last week and I was the one dat apologised to her and settled things then. So calling her to settle again now, wouldn't I be a weakling to her? Secondly, as for the NYSC thin, the truth is I already have some money I kept with someone to start business but waitin till I finish service. Infact, the money is enough to start two different businesses at a time. And I just wanna use this service period to learn about the businesses well so I would just start straight after service. The money was what I talked about in the writeup that she knew wen it was with me up till wen I no longer had it and dats cos I kept it with someone and I can't just request for a dime from from now till till finish service. I'm serving at a ministry in state secretariat.

Danielomisco:
Take this advice from a brother,a lady that will request money from you doesnt like you.Especially ur case as a corper and shes still not understandin yet she was droppin calls on u and text msgs pressurising u makin u to feel bad believe me u dont need this or a lady like that around you,forget what ever u ppl had.

Thanks for the advice bro. Appreciate it

If you don't feel peace about the decision, go back to her and make up.

Bro, one thing is certain. She is not a considerate person. Hope you can continue to cope with that.

AfroKnight:
If you don't feel peace about the decision, go back to her and make up.

Bro, one thing is certain. She is not a considerate person. Hope you can continue to cope with that.

Thanks Bro. I'm just really confused about this whole thing.

I feel your pain bro, but girls would always be girls... I think she's expecting you to go the extra mile for her, considering the fact that she needs the money to boost her fashion career. from you story i can derive two things .)she's hard working and this means a lot to her.... she's a good girl I suppose.. so pick up the the phone and call her.

jideniceguy, a lady that will not take into consideration the finances of her bf before making demands is not fit for a wife.

I sense you've been the almighty giver in this relationship, and stopping will definitely end your relationship, no two ways about that.

Understanding and tolerance is key in every relationship, and if that doesn't exist as it seems, find your way out and spend your little money on yourself and development.

demola300:
I feel your pain bro, but girls would always be girls... I think she's expecting you to go the extra mile for her, considering the fact that she needs the money to boost her fashion career. from you story i can derive two things .)she's hard working and this means a lot to her.... she's a good girl I suppose.. so pick up the the phone and call her.

Thanks Bro God bless. Yes the truth is that she's actually very hardworking and really enjoys sewing the dresses for her friends in schl even to the extent dat monst of them are owin her for the dresses she made for dem but yet she still keeps makin dresses for dem. All she usually tell me is dat she jst can't stop makin it for dem cos she has so much passion for it and shes tryin to develop her talent. And also like you said, she has really been a gud gurl too and been faithful as well. jst dat the frequent quarrels we have these days is giving me problems and headache and I'm gettin fed up.

I understand your plight but you messed up by telling her about the money earlier, women and money are five and six.

she is asking you the money because she was aware that you have a lot of money.

next time always claim you are broke and complain of not having enough for yourself due to small allowee and cost of living, she will pity you and try to reason with you.

Never show a woman you have money even if u have abundance.

Dahveydson:
jideniceguy, a lady that will not take into consideration the finances of her bf before making demands is not fit for a wife.

I sense you've been the almighty giver in this relationship, and stopping will definitely end your relationship, no two ways about that.

Understanding and tolerance is key in every relationship, and if that doesn't exist as it seems, find your way out and spend your little money on yourself and development.

Thanks Bro. and like you said, yes I've been the almighty giver in this relationship, and that's cos I'm a guy dat doesn't really like collecting from my partner, instead I believe I shld be the one giving. And I've been doin this just to ensure she's happy and comfortable so as not to start looking outside.

My brother, apologising to woman you love in times of dispute doesn't make you a weakling, it only show how much of a man u are and your ability to face issues head on. The only issue you should be having right now should be why you always have quarrels with Bae, do you feel she is getting tired of the relationship or has the love gone cold? This should be your worry right now because I do not see any reason to call it quit when you already told her you couldn't raise the funds right now, she could have postponed the program to a later date and you guys work out how to raise the money against that date. From your side of the story the breakup was uncalled for, so I will advice you sit her down,1st of all sort the issue regarding this money then really probe her to know if she is still into you then work out a good financial plan in case of next time.at that point if she doesn't love you as much as she used to or if anything Changed about her feelings, simply move on, there is no time to waste over any1 that doesn't love you as much as you do.

jideniceguy:


Thanks brother for the advice. But the question is won't I look like a weak person if I go settle with her again? Like I said before, we just settled a disagreement last week and I was the one dat apologised to her and settled things then. So calling her to settle again now, wouldn't I be a weakling to her? Secondly, as for the NYSC thin, the truth is I already have some money I kept with someone to start business but waitin till I finish service. Infact, the money is enough to start two different businesses at a time. And I just wanna use this service period to learn about the businesses well so I would just start straight after service. The money was what I talked about in the writeup that she knew wen it was with me up till wen I no longer had it and dats cos I kept it with someone and I can't just request for a dime from from now till till finish service. I'm serving at a ministry in state secretariat.

First-how much do you give her of your allowee in a month?then what was the cause of the just-settled quarrel?and pls don't call her at all to preserve your self-esteem!you're a guy and always be a guy-btw(where you pass out and where you dey serve?)

Ok

philybuck:
My brother, apologising to woman you love in times of dispute doesn't make you a weakling, it only show how much of a man u are and your ability to face issues head on. The only issue you should be having right now should be why you always have quarrels with Bae, do you feel she is getting tired of the relationship or has the love gone cold? This should be your worry right now because I do not see any reason to call it quit when you already told her you couldn't raise the funds right now, she could have postponed the program to a later date and you guys work out how to raise the money against that date. From your side of the story the breakup was uncalled for, so I will advice you sit her down,1st of all sort the issue regarding this money then really probe her to know if she is still into you then work out a good financial plan in case of next time.at that point if she doesn't love you as much as she used to or if anything Changed about her feelings, simply move on, there is no time to waste over any1 that doesn't love you as much as you do.

Very good piece of advice. Thank brother I think I'll do just that.

olac21:
First-how much do you give her of your allowee in a month?then what was the cause of the just-settled quarrel?and pls don't call her at all to preserve your self-esteem!you're a guy and always be a guy-btw(where you pass out and where you dey serve?)

I'm serving in Oyo state ministry of establishment and training and I graduated from Osun State University

jideniceguy:


I'm serving in Oyo state ministry of establishment and training and I graduated from Osun State University

Oh it means she's not far from you then..betw hope you haven't called her?dnt call her o to always preserve your self-esteem!

plz don't cal her...she wants to b alone, so let her b.

jideniceguy:

Thanks Bro. and like you said, yes I've been the almighty giver in this relationship, and that's cos I'm a guy dat doesn't really like collecting from my partner, instead I believe I shld be the one giving. And I've been doin this just to ensure she's happy and comfortable so as not to start looking outside.

There lies the problem...

jideniceguy:


Thanks brother for the advice. But the question is won't I look like a weak person if I go settle with her again? Like I said before, we just settled a disagreement last week and I was the one dat apologised to her and settled things then. So calling her to settle again now, wouldn't I be a weakling to her? Secondly, as for the NYSC thin, the truth is I already have some money I kept with someone to start business but waitin till I finish service. Infact, the money is enough to start two different businesses at a time. And I just wanna use this service period to learn about the businesses well so I would just start straight after service. The money was what I talked about in the writeup that she knew wen it was with me up till wen I no longer had it and dats cos I kept it with someone and I can't just request for a dime from from now till till finish service. I'm serving at a ministry in state secretariat.

That's a good thing.. With the business after NYSC thing. That's my plan too.. But not after the NYSC.

You will definitely look weak if you apologize to her but it is better than her telling people that cares about your relationship that you separated because you couldn't give her money for her registration. Run to fight another day.

Op that girl is good and hardworking she's just facing some challenges and u just having misunderstandings probably because of the distance since you started serving. Ladies will always be ladies when she say she has seen the type of person you are she simply ment you aren't their for her. Just a hint my ex once had an issue with me because she went for a job interview early in the morning and it started raining so she had to wait under a shade, when I later called her she started blasting me for not calling her that morning when it was raining Ladies can be complicated. Handle this like a man just call her and apologize.

Osgilliat:


That's a good thing.. With the business after NYSC thing. That's my plan too.. But not after the NYSC.

You will definitely look weak if you apologize to her but it is better than her telling people that cares about your relationship that you separated because you couldn't give her money for her registration. Run to fight another day.

Oh okay bro I would look into that. Thanks once again.

You were too in a haste to call it quit...when a girl is deeply angry she can stone you words carelessly...and most times they dnt really mean what they say, and they dnt really say what they mean...if your gf tells you she's breaking up with you, she expects you to call back and proof to her why she should stay with you...call her and talk thinks over with her...and this time, be a gentleman...



Dunno, if you know this song by the foriegner....i wanna know what love is??....google and score the lyrics of this song and use it to explain your love for her, she must fall yakata and melt in your presence if she hears this song



Note, there are no trails to a womans heart

jideniceguy:


Thanks brother for the advice. But the question is won't I look like a weak person if I go settle with her again? Like I said before, we just settled a disagreement last week and I was the one dat apologised to her and settled things then. So calling her to settle again now, wouldn't I be a weakling to her? Secondly, as for the NYSC thin, the truth is I already have some money I kept with someone to start business but waitin till I finish service. Infact, the money is enough to start two different businesses at a time. And I just wanna use this service period to learn about the businesses well so I would just start straight after service. The money was what I talked about in the writeup that she knew wen it was with me up till wen I no longer had it and dats cos I kept it with someone and I can't just request for a dime from from now till till finish service. I'm serving at a ministry in state secretariat.

Being a weakling depends on the way you approach her.

Mtsw


Well...I didn't even complete it but@the end...if she broke up with u..den leraaaa gerrare ya life nii....na by force

honestly.. you are not her FADA, you even try to send her part of your allawee monthly.. be careful bro.. you are a corper.. you dont have enough.... she is not your WIFE.

OP, did you say you placed her on a monthly stipend... and that from your copa allawee?? Baba even people with good jobs don't do that na. Are you her fada or maga?? Wake up...Your Future First.

@Op. sometimes in life, we need to make big decisions in your case, deep down you know you won't be happy in the r/ship cos this will happen again if you guys make up, the problem here is the pains that comes with heart breaks, NOT confusion.

You just have to let her be. I don't know about you, but I can't be with someone that takes me for granted ( yes- asking for too much is taking the person for granted).

you have a choice - endure the pain that comes with breaking up with someone you love and heal with time.

Or

You can stay and avoid the pain, and continue in the r/ship where you will be taken for granted

it's your call

My guy if you don't leave this lady, she is going to leave you one of these days. That lady is a liability.She is going to finish your savings.Leave her now ooooo.....I dey beg you now....

pryme:
@Op. sometimes in life, we need to make big decisions in your case, deep down you know you won't be happy in the r/ship cos this will happen again if you guys make up, the problem here is the pains that comes with heart breaks, NOT confusion.

You just have to let her be. I don't know about you, but I can't be with someone that takes me for granted ( yes- asking for too much is taking the person for granted).

you have a choice - endure the pain that comes with breaking up with someone you love and heal with time.

Or

You can stay and avoid the pain, and continue in the r/ship where you will be taken for granted

it's your call

Hmmm well said bro, the truth is is actually in pains right now. I'm gettin sick presently. Feelin cold and running temperature buh if I decide to endure this, when would I get out of this situation.