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Women Are The Cause Of Persistent Violence In Relationships - Romance - Nairaland

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Women Are The Cause Of Persistent Violence In Relationships by Vinshu(f): 1:50am On May 19, 2016
I was reading the report someone made on the front page about the violent activities of the husband on the sister. I didn't even bother to read through the artice or see the pictures because women are responsible for this.

Make no mistake, I am not in support of men laying hands on women but right now, I blame women for this! I no longer blame the men!

When a man hits a woman today in a relationship she would cry, give him the silent treatment, tell a friend, call him a dog and keep malice for 3 days or a week max then all is well again after a fake "I'm sorry" or "I didn't mean it" or "I was Angry". All is bliss again. And at work she would say it was an accident. Tell me, won't such a man repeat the same thing later? This doesn't change the man or make the man feel remorse it only makes him feel better and stronger with the idea that he is everything and she cannot survive without him. It's a simple theory.

"Assault.. Apologize.. Repeat"

And it goes on and on and on for months and later they would come online to wail "See what my husband did to me because I refused sex". That's bullsh!t. Many men have bought into the theory that they can do whatever they like to their partner Afterall, a simple apology and shopping would do the trick.

If the newspapers and media channels are filled with divorce stories and men getting arrested over violence trust me, many men would think twice. But when many instead of filing a law suit or a divorce as a result of violence are looking for pity online with lame sentimental stories that touch like someone tied them with ropes in the relationship then it won't stop. It would continue to spread like a plague and how long would the men be blamed? Are you chained to a chair?

This, is why i say that women today, are the cause of this. If your husband or boyfriend or whatever fvcking crap he is lays his hands on you the first time, get him arrested then file a divorce immediately set an example of him so others would learn but if you decide to sit and cry in your pillow, dear, you deserve whatever comes next if it happens again.

Like I said, I don't support violence in any form of relationship. It's wrong. It's illegal. But when the women are allowing it in the name of not allowing society to talk then we shouldn't blame men any longer. Maybe we should blame society. No! Men are society so blame Women!

2 Likes

Re: Women Are The Cause Of Persistent Violence In Relationships by Vinshu(f): 1:51am On May 19, 2016
Reserved!
Re: Women Are The Cause Of Persistent Violence In Relationships by Nobody: 1:53am On May 19, 2016
Its true most abused women aren't doing themselves good by staying but when the man is their major source of income, where can they go?

1 Like

Re: Women Are The Cause Of Persistent Violence In Relationships by Nobody: 1:54am On May 19, 2016
Vinshu I agree with you. Most women today behave like kids without brain. #noOffence.

It's saddening. They stay in violent relationships for weeks and months then later come online looking for pity. Mtcheew like say dem use super glue to glue them to the marriage.
Re: Women Are The Cause Of Persistent Violence In Relationships by Vinshu(f): 1:59am On May 19, 2016
coolsix:
Vinshu I agree with you. Most women today behave like kids without brain. #noOffence.

It's saddening. They stay in violent relationships for weeks and months then later come online looking for pity. Mtcheew like say dem use super glue to glue them to the marriage.

They feel they are nothing without a man. That's why. A lady told me on yandex that she stays even when her husband is violent because she doesn't want to be labelled as a divorcee or make her child have divorced parents. Imagine that.
Re: Women Are The Cause Of Persistent Violence In Relationships by calliope(f): 2:00am On May 19, 2016
If He hits you.... BLOW his fvcking BALLS OFF angry,

#saynotodomesticviolence.

3 Likes

Re: Women Are The Cause Of Persistent Violence In Relationships by Nobody: 2:00am On May 19, 2016
Vinshu:


They feel they are nothing without a man. That's why. A lady told me on yandex that she stays even when her husband is violent because she doesn't want to be labelled as a divorcee or make her child have divorced parents. Imagine that.

Really sad. Like they have been brainwashed by society. Anyway, like you said, men are society.
Re: Women Are The Cause Of Persistent Violence In Relationships by Nobody: 2:02am On May 19, 2016
calliope:
If He hits you.... BLOW IS BALLS OFF angry,

#saynotodomesticviolence.


Your signature says otherwise. Do yu know forgiveness is also what drives this thing. When she forgives her man smiley

1 Like

Re: Women Are The Cause Of Persistent Violence In Relationships by gabinogem(m): 2:04am On May 19, 2016
Most women reason like kids & it's always difficult for them, just like kids to leave their 'love-one' irrespective of the voilent treatment.
Re: Women Are The Cause Of Persistent Violence In Relationships by naijaboiy: 2:09am On May 19, 2016
[b]i support you that violence is not acceptable and that women are supposed to take actions when such thing repeats itself. But the problem with you is that you always write as if you are addressing an audience filled with people in the same geographical location as you are.

I keep telling you, this is not Europe. How many times do women down here successfully report their husband to the police and an action is taken? It is hardly applied here except you are wealthy or at least have enough money to bribe the police to arrest your husband and even hire a lawyer if it goes legal.

What most of them do is just to simply leave the man and continue with their lives.

Secondly, I think it is not far fetched as to why some women still remain in the relationship. If a man hits his woman the first time and he apologizes, definitely she will forgive him because she will accept it as a mistake and let things slide because she loves him.

Women are known generally to endure a lot of things from men so it is not surprising why so many women who find themselves in such situations act that way. They keep forgiving because they keep seeing it as a mistake he made. Nobody will just go directly to report an assault on the first, second and sometimes even third occurrence, because they believe their man will truly change.

Women who have gone on to report such cases of battering are known to have encountered past experiences before they finally gave up and took action.

You cannot blame them at all. Let the men who indulge in such crude actions stop taking advantage of their woman's forgiving nature to hurt her the more. The attackers are the problem, not the victims.
[/b]

5 Likes 4 Shares

Re: Women Are The Cause Of Persistent Violence In Relationships by naijaboiy: 2:11am On May 19, 2016
calliope:
If He hits you.... BLOW his fvcking BALLS OFF angry,

#saynotodomesticviolence.

Please try it and come back to tell us how it ended.

2 Likes

Re: Women Are The Cause Of Persistent Violence In Relationships by Nobody: 2:13am On May 19, 2016
calliope:
If He hits you.... BLOW his fvcking BALLS OFF angry,

#saynotodomesticviolence.

°Yes!! °•*Castrate his tail!
....3 or more good blows should imobilize him enough for you to get away.


#say no to domestic violence.
Re: Women Are The Cause Of Persistent Violence In Relationships by calliope(f): 2:15am On May 19, 2016
coolsix:


Your signature says otherwise. Do yu know forgiveness is also what drives this thing. When she forgives her man smiley
That why it's a powerful thing to me cos forgiving is a big deal especially when I did no wrong to you..
No sensible man wud hit a woman regardless whatsoever.. Cos if you forgive the possibility of such reoccurance to repeat itself on a scale of 1-10, I wud say 8.
Forgive but after blowing the balls grin
Re: Women Are The Cause Of Persistent Violence In Relationships by Vinshu(f): 2:16am On May 19, 2016
@Naijaboiy I understand that things may work differently down there but like you mentioned

If a man hits his woman the first time and he apologizes, definitely she will forgive him because she will accept it as a mistake and let things slide because she loves him.

This is wrong! If he loves her, he won't have made the mistake. So it's still part of it. How long would she continue to forgive? Why didn't she question his own love?

1 Like

Re: Women Are The Cause Of Persistent Violence In Relationships by calliope(f): 2:20am On May 19, 2016
KingCheezyPuff:
°Yes!! °•*Castrate his tail!
....3 or more good blows should imobilize him enough for you to get away.
#say no to domestic violence.
I concur...

1 Like

Re: Women Are The Cause Of Persistent Violence In Relationships by Nobody: 2:22am On May 19, 2016
coolsix:


Your signature says otherwise. Do yu know forgiveness is also what drives this thing. When she forgives her man smiley
°•Sure will forgive him
...while I look at his crumpled over body as my shoe does him in.


Forgive?!!!
...When he beating the taste outta her mouth?
Re: Women Are The Cause Of Persistent Violence In Relationships by Nobody: 2:25am On May 19, 2016
KingCheezyPuff:
°•Sure will forgive him
...while I look at his crumpled over body are my shoe does him in.


Forgive?!!!
When he beating the taste outta her mouth?

I don't understand what you wrote.

However, it's not easy for a woman to fight a man. It won't end well. Let's not dwell on that. The point is, RUN!
Re: Women Are The Cause Of Persistent Violence In Relationships by Nobody: 2:28am On May 19, 2016
coolsix:


I don't understand what you wrote.

However, it's not easy for a woman to fight a man. It won't end well. Let's not dwell on that. The point is, RUN!
I said I'll find it in my heart to forgive him as I stomp the mess out of his b*lls
...That will level the field.

°You think a man crazy enough to lay hands on a woman is going to just let her run?
....No
He's going to try and come after her
Said woman needs to imobilize him
with multiple hard punches or kicks to his balls.
THEN make her escape.
Re: Women Are The Cause Of Persistent Violence In Relationships by ClintonDal(m): 2:34am On May 19, 2016
Op did you also see a thread on fp about a woman that burnt her husband to death after an argument?
Re: Women Are The Cause Of Persistent Violence In Relationships by ronald4lif(m): 2:36am On May 19, 2016
It's true that in most cases women are responsible for the violence they experience in relationship of whatever form as they have a choice to quit the affair. But it's also true that most of these women are financially handicapped and also 'forced' to stay coz of what people may say.

Nigeria is one of the worst countries to be a single mum or divorcee woman as the society will stigmatised you while men see you as rejects and uncultured. On reporting DV to the police they may even tell you to go and apologise to your hubby and stop being disrespectful to avoid beating. In some cases, your parents and siblings will caution you never to utter a word when your hubby is talking and must respect him no matter what. They don't even want to hear divorce as its sacrilegious and their religion condemns it.

Sometime last year a family friend told me how his sister is constantly being battered by her hubby and she has packed out of their home to a friend's place. She then briefed her senior brother about what has happened and her decision to finally quit the abusive marriage hoping to get some moral support from him. To her dismay, the brother told her to go back to her husband and plead for forgiveness and she should 'always' obey him. Now for someone with such mindset, just pause and think about the kind of things his (the bro) wife endures whenever she 'disobeys' him?

Her junior bro was furious and wanted to go beat the hell out of the lunatic but coz of distance he couldn't at the time. He was the only one who gave her the support she needed and they have finalised their divorce. Many ladies who are going through such abuse just need the support of their siblings and family to move on but the relatives don't give them the encouragement they need. The things some people go through in the name of marriage is appalling and totally unacceptable.

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Re: Women Are The Cause Of Persistent Violence In Relationships by naijaboiy: 2:45am On May 19, 2016
Vinshu:
@Naijaboiy I understand that things may work differently down there but like you mentioned



This is wrong! If he loves her, he won't have made the mistake. So it's still part of it. How long would she continue to forgive? Why didn't she question his own love?
[b]First of all I am not speaking in favour of men who beat their women so that y'all won't box me up in one corner.

I only explained to you what really happens and why you should not blame the women. I've not heard of any woman who goes to report immediately her man hit her for the first time. It's always seen as a mistake, most times, if not every time she forgives him. Even the women ranting here about retaliating won't do anything other than to cry their pupils out.

I think what you should center your focus on should be on the women who still choose to remain in a constant violent relationship. Not something that happened only once.

We all make mistakes as humans, not to talk of in relationships. My woman may verbally insult me out of anger and later on apologize. I won't say because she insulted me this first time then I'll take drastic actions, I'll definitely accept it as a mistake and let things slide.

The problem now is, if she keeps repeating this behavior and I do nothing about it. But then again, the fact that I chose to remain in the relationship doesn't make me completely at fault for her utterances. She's the one who's meant to control her tongue and not wait for me to do it for her.

Per bolded, that is sounding quite off to me. A man can love his woman and still cheat on her, he can still beat her and may even kill her while still having strong feelings for her. Loving someone does not stop any human from doing what they want to do that will hurt the significant other.

So do not say "Because a man loves a woman he should not hit her". In my opinion love should not even be the reason why we should not be abusive to our partners. For every reason we should respect each other, not simply because we love each other but because we chose to stay together despite our differences.

So please don't make it sound like because you love someone then you are bound not to make any mistake at all, and I mean in general terms. Some men have hit their wives in the past and they have never tried it again because they regret their actions. I can categorize that as a mistake because such men were remorseful and didn't repeat it again.
[/b]

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Re: Women Are The Cause Of Persistent Violence In Relationships by Nobody: 3:01am On May 19, 2016
Ronakd4lif that elder brother needs a good kick ta rest his brain angry

That's why here we have support groups an centers for domestic violence victims.
Where they can stay an receive help in getting back on their feet.

Do you know of anything like that in Nigeria?
Re: Women Are The Cause Of Persistent Violence In Relationships by Nobody: 3:22am On May 19, 2016
First time I will agree with vinshu on an issue

You made so much sense,just that women in this part of the world are not ready to be freed from domestic Violence.


They are dependent,and society conscious.

until this two issues are corrected,women will continue to be with monsters in the name or marriage and kids,and the death tow rises.
Re: Women Are The Cause Of Persistent Violence In Relationships by Nobody: 3:40am On May 19, 2016
This thread only reaffirms Women as lazy Golddigging Hoes grin

If you'RE in an Abusive relationship and don't want to leave it's because the man has got dough to feed your hungry ass.

OP thinks Husbands are as Bountiful as H2O...Continue your false sense Of Victory...

1 Like

Re: Women Are The Cause Of Persistent Violence In Relationships by Nobody: 6:24am On May 19, 2016
naijaboiy:

[b]First of all I am not speaking in favour of men who beat their women so that y'all won't box me up in one corner.

I only explained to you what really happens and why you should not blame the women. I've not heard of any woman who goes to report immediately her man hit her for the first time. It's always seen as a mistake, most times, if not every time she forgives him. Even the women ranting here about retaliating won't do anything other than to cry their pupils out.

I think what you should center your focus on should be on the women who still choose to remain in a constant violent relationship. Not something that happened only once.

We all make mistakes as humans, not to talk of in relationships. My woman may verbally insult me out of anger and later on apologize. I won't say because she insulted me this first time then I'll take drastic actions, I'll definitely accept it as a mistake and let things slide.

The problem now is, if she keeps repeating this behavior and I do nothing about it. But then again, the fact that I chose to remain in the relationship doesn't make me completely at fault for her utterances. She's the one who's meant to control her tongue and not wait for me to do it for her.

Per bolded, that is sounding quite off to me. A man can love his woman and still cheat on her, he can still beat her and may even kill her while still having strong feelings for her. Loving someone does not stop any human from doing what they want to do that will hurt the significant other.

So do not say "Because a man loves a woman he should not hit her". In my opinion love should not even be the reason why we should not be abusive to our partners. For every reason we should respect each other, not simply because we love each other but because we chose to stay together despite our differences.

So please don't make it sound like because you love someone then you are bound not to make any mistake at all, and I mean in general terms. Some men have hit their wives in the past and they have never tried it again because they regret their actions. I can categorize that as a mistake because such men were remorseful and didn't repeat it again.
[/b]

Concisely and brilliantly put. cool

1 Like

Re: Women Are The Cause Of Persistent Violence In Relationships by Nobody: 6:27am On May 19, 2016
Sometimes, being too quick to forgive and loving too much could be a person's greatest undoing.

1 Like

Re: Women Are The Cause Of Persistent Violence In Relationships by Nobody: 6:55am On May 19, 2016
Very very very well said. Sensible post.
When I read some write ups , I just smile cos its usually easier said than done when it's not you in the situation(the OP). I really have loads to say but..


Leme stop here.

naijaboiy:
[b]i support you that violence is not acceptable and that women are supposed to take actions when such thing repeats itself. But the problem with you is that you always write as if you are addressing an audience filled with people in the same geographical location as you are.

I keep telling you, this is not Europe. How many times do women down here successfully report their husband to the police and an action is taken? It is hardly applied here except you are wealthy or at least have enough money to bribe the police to arrest your husband and even hire a lawyer if it goes legal.

What most of them do is just to simply leave the man and continue with their lives.

Secondly, I think it is not far fetched as to why some women still remain in the relationship. If a man hits his woman the first time and he apologizes, definitely she will forgive him because she will accept it as a mistake and let things slide because she loves him.

Women are known generally to endure a lot of things from men so it is not surprising why so many women who find themselves in such situations act that way. They keep forgiving because they keep seeing it as a mistake he made. Nobody will just go directly to report an assault on the first, second and sometimes even third occurrence, because they believe their man will truly change.

Women who have gone on to report such cases of battering are known to have encountered past experiences before they finally gave up and took action.

You cannot blame them at all. Let the men who indulge in such crude actions stop taking advantage of their woman's forgiving nature to hurt her the more. The attackers are the problem, not the victims.
[/b]

1 Like

Re: Women Are The Cause Of Persistent Violence In Relationships by Nobody: 8:14am On May 19, 2016
Vanquay:
This thread only reaffirms Women as lazy Golddigging Hoes grin

If you'RE in an Abusive relationship and don't want to leave it's because the man has got dough to feed your hungry ass.

OP thinks Husbands are as Bountiful as H2O...Continue your false sense Of Victory...
°•I just feel like insulting you up an down this thread
.. but I won't.
Re: Women Are The Cause Of Persistent Violence In Relationships by Vinshu(f): 8:24am On May 19, 2016
pucelle:
First time I will agree with vinshu on an issue

You made so much sense,just that women in this part of the world are not ready to be freed from domestic Violence.


They are dependent,and society conscious.

until this two issues are corrected,women will continue to be with monsters in the name or marriage and kids,and the death tow rises.

Most of them use kids as excuse
Re: Women Are The Cause Of Persistent Violence In Relationships by Vinshu(f): 8:29am On May 19, 2016
skarlett:
Its true most abused women aren't doing themselves good by staying but when the man is their major source of income, where can they go?

I believe they were alive before they met him
Re: Women Are The Cause Of Persistent Violence In Relationships by Vinshu(f): 8:32am On May 19, 2016
Vanquay:
This thread only reaffirms Women as lazy Golddigging Hoes grin

If you'RE in an Abusive relationship and don't want to leave it's because the man has got dough to feed your hungry ass.

OP thinks Husbands are as Bountiful as H2O...Continue your false sense Of Victory...

So because there is scarcity of men means a woman should remain in such relationship? I don't understand please
Re: Women Are The Cause Of Persistent Violence In Relationships by firstking01(m): 8:55am On May 19, 2016
Vinshu:
Reserved!
Reserved wetinundecided?...you created the thread and still secured ftc, are you this greedy

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