In the context of relationships, cheating occurs when a person does something that has either romantic or sexual significance with someone other than their partner—particularly when that person is a member of the opposite sex. Going by this definition, if you are above the age of 21, or have had more than 3 romantic partners in your life so far, you have probably cheated on your partner before.

Before you sanctimoniously close your eyes and raise your hands in pious denial, think about that time when you flirted with your boyfriends best friend, or when you went out on a romantic date with an admirer, or when you had a fight with your boyfriend and you spilled your heart to your so-called male bestie whose secret admiration for you is, in fact, no secret at all.

The fact is, you have cheated on your partner if you have done any of these, but that is a post for another day. The reason for the previous paragraph is just so that we can proceed through the rest of our discussion without having to deal with your self-righteous attitude (don’t ask me how I can feel those vibes. I just can).

Today, I’d like to specifically discuss the subject of why men cheat sexually, at significantly higher rates than women do. Even though women are more likely to cheat emotionally, and get away with it, men are more likely to go a step further and cheat physically, with statistics for the US showing that 70 % of men admit to having cheated on their partners compared with 50-60 % for women.

So to answer the question that so many ladies are asking all over the world today, let me first say that there is no one reason why a man might cheat or why all men cheat: I believe there are 6 major factors (I know the title says 7. When you get to the end you'll understand why), which individually or collectively, may contribute to cheating behavior in men. Here they are:

#1. Nature

One possible examination for why men cheat is that, it is in the nature of male animals to have multiple sexual partners. From an evolutionary perspective (all animals are programmed to act in a way that sustains the existence of their species), this theory makes a lot of sense, as to ensure the survival and propagation of the human race, engaging in intercourse as frequently as possible would yield higher chances of producing offspring.

The higher volume of offspring produced would ensure that were something untoward, either natural or unnatural, to occur, the existence of human life would continue.

#2. Visual stimulation

Men are much more prone to sexual arousal visually, whereas women are much more prone to emotional arousal. This means that while women may take a while to develop a bond between themselves and a prospective temporary partner, men may get to this stage much quicker and will tend to make a move faster than a woman who desires to cheat would.

Sexual encounters follow a process for both men and women. Simplified, the process usually involves three distinct stages: arousal, engagement and completion. For men the process might begin with interest and proceed to engagement where the object of affection is approached and courted, and completion if/when their interest is reciprocated. For women, however, the process might begin with engagement and then proceed to arousal.

Put together, this is what happens in most cases:

Stage 1. Boy meets girl. Boy is interested

Stage 2. Boy engages girl. Girl nurtures engagement (or not)

Stage 3. Girl becomes interested. Continues to stage 4

Stage 4. Cycle terminates with sexual activity (may grow into a relationship)

If this is true, it explains why women in relationships might cheat less, since initiating a sexual encounter would often require that they go out of their way to initiate and nurture a relationship which takes time and requires some level of intentionality. Unless, of course, they already have a suitable suitor whose engagement could be nurtured.

#3. Prisoners Dilemma

Prisoner’s dilemma is a fictional scenario used in the study of game theory to illustrate very real choices and behavior. The story is that two friends are arrested for criminal activity and are interrogated separately.

Both are offered the same options: if you stay silent and the other person confesses, you go to jail for ten years; if you confess and the other person stays silent, you go free and he goes to jail for ten years. If you both confess, you both get two years but if you both stay silent, both of you go free. Which option is your best bet?

Obviously, staying silent is the best combination for both of you but in the absence of reliable information on which option your friend has chosen, the most tempting option might be to go with what is safest for you.

Relationships are somewhat like this fictional prisoner’s dilemma example. Perhaps men cheat partly because women also cheat and men (just like women), may have no idea if their partner is cheating.

While very few men may actually cite a lack of trust in their partners as their major reason for cheating, it is clear that in order to override their inhibitions, men may convince themselves of the possibility of their partner’s cheating.

#4. Male dominant workforce

Despite the increased economic freedoms and opportunities provided to women in the 21st century, the corporate world is still a man’s world today. What this means is:

a. Men are found in position of power more frequently

Since men occupy the bulk of senior management and executive spots in most places, it is safe to assume that the increased financial power creates more opportunities for cheating.

This might partly be because most women are attracted to powerful men, and in some cases may feel obliged to act submissively even if they are not sexually attracted to their boss. This may explain, in part, the boss-secretary stereotype or perhaps, as is more commonly found here in Nigeria, the man of the house and the maid syndrome.

b. Men travel for business more frequently

Men tend to do more business travelling than women, and get to meet many more people under conditions wherein they are separated from their spouses. This gives them more opportunity, and more temptation to cheat.

This theory is lent some credence by the fact that the majority of women who cheat are working class ladies.

#5. Escape from harsh realities

It is also possible that men may cheat simply because things are not going well at home. It is a common trend particularly in modern marriages for women to deny their husbands of sex, using intimacy as a bargaining chip or means of positive reinforcement with which to extract money or elicit some desired behavior.

In such cases, or even in cases where the breakdown of relationships at home may stem from other issues or disagreements, men may cheat as an escape mechanism.

#6. It’s kinda normal

If most men are cheating and getting away with it, including your partners close friends, then why shouldn’t he? The rationale is this: if women really believe that men are dogs, as so commonly quoted, then you really shouldn’t mind it when he does act like one. Hey, I’m not justifying cheating by the way, I’m just trying to let you into the mind of a man.

Ever heard of the Pygmalion effect? Basically this is a theory that states that when you believe people will act in a certain way, they are likely to actually prove you right. Basically, if you act like you expect a man to cheat, he most likely will.

#7. Women are possibly not quite being honest

Statistically, men are much more likely to brag or exaggerate sexual experiences whereas women are much more likely to downplay their sexual history. This means that the assumption that men cheat much more than women may actually be a false premise.

Come on sisters out there, you know you are probably not very likely to admit having had an affair or cheating on your partner before. Perhaps men and women actually cheat just as much each other but we’ll never know for sure since we can’t exactly rely on the ladies to be perfectly candid.

Anyhoo!

You wanted to know why men cheat, and there you have it.

Everytime, na so so rubbish threads.

Naughtysite:
Everytime, na so so rubbish threads.

Rubbish threads and stupide people are like 5&6