What Do You Think I Can Do - Romance - Nairaland
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| What Do You Think I Can Do by zefty: 9:42am On Jun 14, 2016 |
morning guys... abeg I need your advice about something..Am in 200 level in one of universities in Nigeria(futa precisely).I am an introvert and I have problem communicating and interacting with people.During my 100 level days I hardly had any friends it's during this second semester that I start developing myself(personal development books). I make it as a goal to interact with like 90% of guys and 10% of girls in my department which I have succeeded in doing but there's one particular "  .E student" that when ever we meet as in eye contact I quickly and "jejeli" shift my eyes to d other place but what use to pain me is that the girl will then come and sit down beside/close to me she will start talking to people that I am talking to and shun me as if she didn't see me.Abeg is she trying to punish me for shunning her? Secondly, there's also a guy in my department that always try to act alpha/cool/big. I notice that whenever he see me he will start to bounce(as in when walking) this looks childish to me and sometimes maybe I am looking for somebody by looking around and I mistakenly look at where he's he may come to where I am and start acting like (what's up dude to people around just to get my attention even thou I usually ignore him ..).Although, during my 100level days i think she is dating a girl dat i really crush on and he usually notice me looking at them.Back then i thought i thought the girl is some how proud cuz dat was my mindset then about girls dat behave like dat but i was wrong.In short what do you think his their motives and how can I deal with the two problem.is he thinking am somehow jealous or what?Am thinking of confronting him thou or any other idea how I can stop him..Am posting in this section in other to get reply fast before going to class and pls am serious with my gp so telling me to face my study won't help cuz did tn dey pain me seriously.... or maybe I should include snakes pictures "lalasticlala" to get people to [i]morning guys... |
| Re: What Do You Think I Can Do by Nobody: 9:46am On Jun 14, 2016 |
Wetin dis one dey talk self 1 Like |
| Re: What Do You Think I Can Do by SuperSuave(m): 9:48am On Jun 14, 2016 |
Oh God! Why do some people prioritize what shouldn't even be on their list?  My 2kobo advice tho: ignore the guy. The girl likes you, start a conversation with her next time if you like her too |
| Re: What Do You Think I Can Do by osesology(m): 9:54am On Jun 14, 2016 |
Wow! This guy seriously needs a psyco-therapist in his life. This kind of person can easily commit suicide just by imagining what people are thinking about him, not knowing that those people are just minding their own business. |
| Re: What Do You Think I Can Do by obiorathesubtle: 9:55am On Jun 14, 2016 |
 didn't read all that.. But it seems you like a girl, you're an introvert.. Blaa blAa baaalllaaaa!Go and talk to her, pick your balls from the ground and go talk to her.. *modified* I read sth about a massive predatory cockblocker.. Here's how to deal with your tail.. You’re definitely right about the confidence part, SB. If you’re seeing yourself as a second-rate option who’s always going to get shut out if someone – anyone – else comes into the conversation, then yeah, you’re going to keep getting squeezed out of the conversation. So one of the first things I’d recommend is working on building up your confidence. I’ve got a few resources on how to boost your self-esteem quickly and over the long term, which should help. The next thing I suggest is working on being more engaging; we prioritize engaging with people who make us feel good, after all. If you’re the one who’s making her laugh or telling amazing stories, she’s going to find you far more compelling than the other guy trying to muscle in. Now you’re right: the last thing you want to do when someone’s trying to push you out of a conversation is to react directly to it and call him out. It makes you look petty and possessive – very unattractive traits in a man – and gives him the opportunity to flip it against you: “Man, I don’t know what you’re talking about. We’re just chatting. Oh shit, am I stealing your girl? Oh, shit, I’m sorry! No, miss, you should totally date him; he’ll be like your BFF only a dude, you know?” Suddenly you’re on the defensive as he’s framed you as trying to pick her up while subtly mocking you. This is a bad place to be and unless you’re really good at verbal jiu-jitsu, it’s hard to come back from. All that being said: you can squeeze somebody out when they’re trying to hit on someone you’re flirting with. You just have to know how to do it. Now, don’t necessarily assume that he’s there to “steal” (for lack of a better term) the woman you’re talking to. You don’t necessarily want to start a competition where there isn’t one. He may very well just want to chat and bristling any time any guy comes near is going to make you look insecure. One of the best things you can do in this case is simply befriend the guy. Include him in the conversation and build rapport with him and find some commonalities. You’re going to have to split your attention a little so that you don’t end up ignoring the woman you were flirting with, but when handled well, you can actually turn a potential cockblock into a new friend – in fact, if you’re dealing with a large group of people, you can even end up recruiting your new friend into being an impromptu wingman, helping keep the others occupied while you focus on the woman you’ve been working towards hooking up with. Plus: hey, you’ve just made a new friend! How awesome is that? But let’s assume that he’s rolling in with the intent on swooping in and cock blocking you. The easiest way to squeeze a guy out is through social dynamics. When he comes in and starts talking – especially if he ignores you and moves straight to the woman you’re talking to – make him turn to you instead. Say “Hey man, don’t be rude. Introduce yourself!” When he does, shake his hand, clap him on the shoulder and say “Cool, nice meeting you,” then turn your back on him, positioning yourself between him and the woman you’re speaking to. By doing so, you’ve effectively wedged him out of the conversation, putting him on the outside of your circle. Now his trying to get back in looks like a social violation – someone intruding on a private conversation. Just don’t let him do the same thing to you; if he physically gets between you and the woman you’re talking to, he’ll have squeezed you out. Another way of keeping from being cockblocked is to be sneaky and simply own the conversation. Guys who are going to try to squeeze you out will be counting on your being passive and quiet while they become the new center of attention. Much like just befriending him, you want to engage him and – critically – get him talking to you instead of her and then be the one directing the conversation. The easiest way to do that is to be willing to cut conversational threads and bring up new topics: “OK cool. Oh hey, that reminds me, have you ever been at a bar when X happened? Awesome, check this out…” Using little check-ins with the woman you’re talking to – “you’ve seen this before, right? You know what I mean?” helps keep her attention on you. Occasionally you’ll get the more aggressive guys who will bust your balls – verbally speaking. The trick there is almost always “agree and magnify”. For example: if he implies you’re gay (or straight up says it) then agree that you’re suuuupa gay and ask him if he wants to make out in the corner. Other times it’s worth it simply to just move, especially if he’s being pushy. “Hey, let’s get another drink” or “I can barely hear what you’re saying, let’s move somewhere a little quieter” and escort your new friend away. But unless you’re in a particularly raucus bar or party, few people are going to be that dickish and you can squeeze them out either through controlling the conversation and body positioning. Good luck. |
| Re: What Do You Think I Can Do by bqlekan(m): 9:56am On Jun 14, 2016 |
Dude, the girl wants you to talk to her, i won't say she likes you. It all depends on your first chat together. About the dude, He probably might be a cultist/a spoilt kid(may be you are their next recruit  ). Avoid any physical confrontation with him. I mean, press the ignore button.PS.. Why do you have to flood the whole page with the same story? biko, delete it. |
| Re: What Do You Think I Can Do by firstking01(m): 10:16am On Jun 14, 2016 |
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| Re: What Do You Think I Can Do by zefty: 8:05pm On Jun 14, 2016 |
Thanks to you all...sorry for posting twice. This is the first time I will be creating topic on nairaland so na mistake... |
| Re: What Do You Think I Can Do by DLondonboiy: 8:10pm On Jun 14, 2016 |
I read your post twice....two good times and I have no idea what you are talking about.. |
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