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How Much Is Ideal To Be Giving One's Wife As Monthly Stipend? - Family (10) - Nairaland

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Re: How Much Is Ideal To Be Giving One's Wife As Monthly Stipend? by Nobody: 9:57pm On Jun 20, 2016
chiwetel:
Lol...enduring here in 9ja o,since I can't go to london.

u married now? wink
Been waiting for you all the while. Bought a diamond ring and kept it in a safe my grandmother bought for me. It's right here waiting for you. cheesy
Re: How Much Is Ideal To Be Giving One's Wife As Monthly Stipend? by chiwetel(f): 9:59pm On Jun 20, 2016
iAmCharis:
Been waiting for you all the while. Bought a diamond ring and kept it in a safe my grandmother bought for me. It's right here waiting for you. cheesy
Lol..baby love. chai,ya still a big scammer sha o.

eheh,so d NL proposal never happened? better start talking o.
Re: How Much Is Ideal To Be Giving One's Wife As Monthly Stipend? by Nobody: 10:09pm On Jun 20, 2016
chiwetel:
Lol..baby love. chai,ya still a big scammer sha o.

eheh,so d NL proposal never happened? better start talking o.

What proposal are you talking about? Ever since you started living in the main quarters of my heart, I can barely stay a minute without thinking about you. How then will I have the zeal to want to propose to someone else?

Baby mi, my love ain't scam, neither is it made in Aba. It's straight from Taiwan. grin
Re: How Much Is Ideal To Be Giving One's Wife As Monthly Stipend? by chiwetel(f): 10:13pm On Jun 20, 2016
iAmCharis:
What proposal are you talking about? Ever since you started living in the main quarters of my heart, I can barely stay a minute without thinking about you. How then will I have the zeal to want to propose to someone else?

Baby mi, my love ain't scam, neither is it made in Aba. It's straight from Taiwan. grin
Am turning pink am so flushed.

chai...is a lie ooooo,I refuse to fall again tongue oya ooo,let's go before they cash us here.
Re: How Much Is Ideal To Be Giving One's Wife As Monthly Stipend? by DedeNkem: 10:18pm On Jun 20, 2016
Omonigeriarere:


'My wife and I contribute to a special joint bank account for all financial needs of our home and another joint account for savings. I earn more than her, so I contribute more. I still buy her great gifts and take her out. She buys me gifts too. That's how a family should deal with it's finances.'.

Can you elaborate more on joint bank account Sir? This is the kind of REAL MEN I am looking for.

We have two joint accounts at two different banks. One for home expenses and the other for savings. We contribute money to both joint accounts monthly from our individual salaries that are paid into our individual accounts.

2 Likes

Re: How Much Is Ideal To Be Giving One's Wife As Monthly Stipend? by Nobody: 10:20pm On Jun 20, 2016
chiwetel:
Am turning pink am so flushed.

chai...is a lie ooooo,I refuse to fall again tongue oya ooo,let's go before they cash us here.
Lol I lost your contact. embarassed
Re: How Much Is Ideal To Be Giving One's Wife As Monthly Stipend? by Nobody: 11:20pm On Jun 20, 2016
I won't advise you to pay her any monthly stipend, as she earns N150,000/month. You'll have to convince her that her salary should also be her "stipend".

If I were you, I would only give her a stipend if her monthly salary is below N90,000.
Re: How Much Is Ideal To Be Giving One's Wife As Monthly Stipend? by omosedollar(m): 11:35pm On Jun 20, 2016
You over packagr yourself while you were dating, thats why shes expecting more. 75# that she save is enough for her, because shes not contributing to the community Property( meaning your household expensies. You can give her th 20k out of the goodness of your heart.
Re: How Much Is Ideal To Be Giving One's Wife As Monthly Stipend? by chiwetel(f): 11:37pm On Jun 20, 2016
[color=#006600][/color]
iAmCharis:
Lol I lost your contact. embarassed
yaf lost it again abi.

aii,I will try sending it via Facebook, buh u hv to message me first o tongue
Re: How Much Is Ideal To Be Giving One's Wife As Monthly Stipend? by armyofone(m): 2:59am On Jun 21, 2016
grin maybe that's why madam is emptying the coffer so side chics doesn't get anything...just maybe.

sweetcocoa:
Hmm

OP are you sure you are not one of those men that spend more on outsiders than his own family?

I know why I'm asking o.
Re: How Much Is Ideal To Be Giving One's Wife As Monthly Stipend? by Nobody: 7:29am On Jun 21, 2016
chiwetel:
[color=#006600][/color]yaf lost it again abi.

aii,I will try sending it via Facebook, buh u hv to message me first o tongue
Hehehe ngwanu. I'll send you a message later.

Chai reminiscing way back when we was a couple. gringringrin
Re: How Much Is Ideal To Be Giving One's Wife As Monthly Stipend? by sweetcocoa(f): 8:06am On Jun 21, 2016
armyofone:
grin maybe that's why madam is emptying the coffer so side chics doesn't get anything...just maybe.

I'm telling you my sister, it's not as if we all don't know that these things happen.grin
Re: How Much Is Ideal To Be Giving One's Wife As Monthly Stipend? by Nobody: 1:30pm On Jun 21, 2016
Chiwetel

Babe epp me vote MissGdope in the ongoing contest

Just type:
I vote MissGdope
Cc: NlJega

Here's the thread - www.nairaland.com/3178760/miss-nairaland-contest-2016-elimination#46768548

Thank you kiss
Re: How Much Is Ideal To Be Giving One's Wife As Monthly Stipend? by Nobody: 1:36pm On Jun 21, 2016
tohpahz, nkemdi89, ireneony, Specialist900, Lezzlie, martha89, Emmaesty, bibijay123, Mzflexydeeva, Sleekyshuga, Bookiemart01, Ymodulus, mastercee(m), dearpreye, valmunich, dechandel, luxanne, llaykorn, Evina, LordReed, Beamborla, HFOG, Ishilove, Enahi, Olajorn...

And you reading this grin

Kindly support our girl, MissGdope in the ongoing Miss NL contest by dropping a vote for her.

Just type:
I vote MissGdope
Cc: NlJega

Here's the thread - www.nairaland.com/3178760/miss-nairaland-contest-2016-elimination#46768548

Thank you smiley

1 Like 1 Share

Re: How Much Is Ideal To Be Giving One's Wife As Monthly Stipend? by internetpo(m): 2:14pm On Jun 21, 2016
Onegai:


It's a gift. Give it as such, kindly and don't make anyone stand at attention beside you. It's not necessary to give an allowance. Every marriage is different and there is a time for kindness and a time for firmness.

Thanks for the enlightenment
Re: How Much Is Ideal To Be Giving One's Wife As Monthly Stipend? by seangy4konji: 2:41pm On Jun 21, 2016
You have a greedy madam as a wife. It's typical of most of Nigerian women.hey keep theirs and ready to finish yours and his does not apply to girlfriends alone. Even house Wives. Yor wife has a good paying job and keeps or saves 75 k every month while you so all the spending in the house and still wants you to put extra 20 k in her account while you guys are still trying to set up a new home

Do not give her any money and the joint account is good. Let her know you both can secure the future by saving and what stops her putting in the 75 k in a account as your or laser to start a project. She wants to keep hers and spend yours while you still carry te burden of the house again??

Sit her down my man and please do not start giving her any monthly allowance she is not a kid and has a job.te say you fail to meet up with that 20 k then kasala go burst oooo

No try am my man.
Re: How Much Is Ideal To Be Giving One's Wife As Monthly Stipend? by Omonigeriarere: 3:24pm On Jun 21, 2016
DedeNkem:


We have two joint accounts at two different banks. One for home expenses and the other for savings. We contribute money to both joint accounts monthly from our individual salaries that are paid into our individual accounts.


Thank you. Please what are the domestic items/expenses that fall within these two categories? I am not married yet, but I am really learning here as proper prior planning prevents poor performance.
Re: How Much Is Ideal To Be Giving One's Wife As Monthly Stipend? by sweetilicious(f): 6:00pm On Jun 21, 2016
Hei mr man, your wife is only not reasoning well. Maybe her colleagues said men can spend their money on other women if they find out that they have a helping hand. Its true though but not all men behaves like that. My sister works as a senior staff and earns close to 300 a month;the husband also earns close to that too. Let me give you a hint on how they spend their monies. My sister makes sure that everything they eat in their house she buys them. They can never lack food in their house. She prepares balanced diet everyday. Clothing of the children every month comes from her salary. The husband's duty is to fuel the car, pay school fees for the children and his two siblings living with them, repair anything repairable in the house. Meanwhile, they opened separate account for their children. They pay in 50 thousand naira every month into each of their two children's account. No one touches the money except the children get to 18 years of age. They monies are deducted immediately they are paid. They also registered for pencom. My sister told me she was happy because she wakes up everyday to go to work so that her children will have a good life and quality education. If only your wife could save the 20k monthly for her children, then it will be wise but if she will use it to buy designers handbags and other stuffs then she is just not reasoning well. Thats why you see people that have worked for years not have any good thing to show for it. Both of you need to reason ahead of the challenges that befall couples. Good luck and make it work.

2 Likes

Re: How Much Is Ideal To Be Giving One's Wife As Monthly Stipend? by DedeNkem: 11:19pm On Jun 21, 2016
Omonigeriarere:


Thank you. Please what are the domestic items/expenses that fall within these two categories? I am not married yet, but I am really learning here as proper prior planning prevents poor performance.

Ok, I'll try to go as detailed as possible.

1. Joint account for home expenses;
- Rent.
- Food.
- Kids' school stuff
- Kids' clothes, shoes and electronics.
- Home repairs. (one rented home and one owned home)
- Cars' repairs. (two cars)
- Fueling our cars.
- Purchase or replacement of household items e.g furnitures, electronics, etc.
- And others I don't remember now.

2. Joint account for savings;
We save for future business investments.

3. Private accounts;
I've a private account so as my wife. We have each other as next of kin. We can do whatever we want with the money in our individual accounts.

I'm glad you're interested to plan your finances with your future wife. It's very important and it solves a lot of problems, even multi-billionaires plan theirs. Good communication is vital in marriage.

If you've any more questions, please let me know.

2 Likes

Re: How Much Is Ideal To Be Giving One's Wife As Monthly Stipend? by AlphaHandMaiden(f): 6:35am On Jun 22, 2016
banjolek:
Hello guys,

I need your honest opinion on this, how much is really ideal to give one's wife as monthly pocket money?.

Here's my story, i recently got married and also moved to a new 3 bedroom apartment around gbagada. I earn a pretty decent income while my wife also works in the bank with a salary of like 150k. She saves a half of this salary and uses the remaining for upkeep.

Now the issue is my wife insists that i must give her monthly pocket money and i have proposed 20k, an amount i feel is more than adequate for her if added to about 75k which she already has to herself from her salary. Also note that this 20k does not mean i dont get to buy her random stuff during the month or provide anything she asks for if i feel its a reasonable demand.

A1so bear in mind that i am still 100% responsible for providing food and other bills in the house. In addition we just moved to a new apartment like i mentioned earlier and still in the process of furnishing it so a chunk of my monthly salary goes into furnishing the house.

We also have a plan to set up a business for her, so i'm also currently saving part of my salary to fulfill that dream.

Now my wife has rejected the proposed amount of 20k saying its too small.

I need your take on this people, considering all i have mentioned above, is 20k really too small to be giving her monthly?

i wrote this in a hurry, please bear with any typo observed.

Erhmmm Please what does she use all her salary for? Or am i confused in understanding that she saves 75K and keeps the remaining for her own personal expenses?

If this is the case, your wife is rather selfish. A home is a joint investment and both parties no matter how small any income is should contribute.

If she wasnt working at all then i can undestand the need for a stipend. But if she cannot buy ordinary tomatoes or decide to pay the electricity bill, even buy fuel for generator on a regular basis or buy "joko" for the house, my brother you are in trouble!.

You people should go for counselling to address her take-take attitude as this is not the approach to take in a marriage or any other relationship. Or as my born again people will put it you need to pray against the a devouring spirit! grin

Get a joint household account into which both of you contribute to run the house and also a joint household savings account. Calculate your average monthy spends and both of you should contribute towards it. Even if it is only 10% she can afford, let her add it. And also share the responsibilities of who monitors and pays each the bill from the account. For example when electricity bill is due, you make sure it is paid from the account and when water bill is due- she makes sure it is paid.

In my opinion as long as the house account is balanced, each party can blow their remaining salary on whatever luxuries they want.

Women should support their husbands, and share some of the financial burdens of the household.

if the man is mega rich and can afford to have a stay at home wife who will just be painting her nails and looking pretty for him. No problem!

But for the average household in naija? Contributions from both parties are needed. . So for her not to contribute.. anything at all?. And still ask for a stipend?... hmmmn that aint right.
Re: How Much Is Ideal To Be Giving One's Wife As Monthly Stipend? by AlphaHandMaiden(f): 6:54am On Jun 22, 2016
Azinganga:
Endure this crazy demand of hers and pray to have children first.When children comes, she will start to see herself then as a stakeholder and must contribute financially even for your domestic needs.Women are supposed to be helpmeets and not extortionists.A helper should really help.

What if it doesnt? Tackle the issue first before any kids oh.... as the situation is likely to get worse.
People should stop assuming having kids will be the reset button to marital issues as it rarely is. It usually makes the situation worse. In this case, she will have the proper emotional blackmail arsernal.

She is working with 150k salary, 20K stipend no reach. When she is on maternity leave with little or no salary...... you will cut out your kidney and sell to support her. Including all the baby expenses...

1 Like

Re: How Much Is Ideal To Be Giving One's Wife As Monthly Stipend? by chiwetel(f): 9:31am On Jun 22, 2016
iAmCharis:
Chiwetel

Babe epp me vote MissGdope in the ongoing contest

Just type:
I vote MissGdope
Cc: NlJega

Here's the thread - www.nairaland.com/3178760/miss-nairaland-contest-2016-elimination#46768548

Thank you kiss
Am so sorry dear,I ain't qualified to vote yet.
Re: How Much Is Ideal To Be Giving One's Wife As Monthly Stipend? by Omonigeriarere: 3:06pm On Jun 22, 2016
DedeNkem:


Ok, I'll try to go as detailed as possible.

1. Joint account for home expenses;
- Rent.
- Food.
- Kids' school stuff
- Kids' clothes, shoes and electronics.
- Home repairs. (one rented home and one owned home)
- Cars' repairs. (two cars)
- Fueling our cars.
- Purchase or replacement of household items e.g furnitures, electronics, etc.
- And others I don't remember now.

2. Joint account for savings;
We save for future business investments.

3. Private accounts;
I've a private account so as my wife. We have each other as next of kin. We can do whatever we want with the money in our individual accounts.

I'm glad you're interested to plan your finances with your future wife. It's very important and it solves a lot of problems, even multi-billionaires plan theirs. Good communication is vital in marriage.

If you've any more questions, please let me know.

Thank you so much: may God bless you and your family beyond expectation.

I have bookmarked this page as one ofmy favourites: I will let you know if any other issue arises.

Remain blessed.

1 Like

Re: How Much Is Ideal To Be Giving One's Wife As Monthly Stipend? by paulostical: 8:40pm On Jun 23, 2016
DedeNkem:


Ok, I'll try to go as detailed as possible.

1. Joint account for home expenses;
- Rent.
- Food.
- Kids' school stuff
- Kids' clothes, shoes and electronics.
- Home repairs. (one rented home and one owned home)
- Cars' repairs. (two cars)
- Fueling our cars.
- Purchase or replacement of household items e.g furnitures, electronics, etc.
- And others I don't remember now.

2. Joint account for savings;
We save for future business investments.

3. Private accounts;
I've a private account so as my wife. We have each other as next of kin. We can do whatever we want with the money in our individual accounts.

I'm glad you're interested to plan your finances with your future wife. It's very important and it solves a lot of problems, even multi-billionaires plan theirs. Good communication is vital in marriage.

If you've any more questions, please let me know.

Have been reading through the posts and noticed your suggestions are spot on and Mature...

I have learnt a lot from what you have shared as it relate with how you run your home with understanding. Thanks much
Re: How Much Is Ideal To Be Giving One's Wife As Monthly Stipend? by DedeNkem: 3:30am On Jun 24, 2016
paulostical:


Have been reading through the posts and noticed your suggestions are spot on and Mature...

I have learnt a lot from what you have shared as it relate with how you run your home with understanding. Thanks much

Thank you. I will you lots of success in your life.
Re: How Much Is Ideal To Be Giving One's Wife As Monthly Stipend? by chccho(m): 8:33am On Jun 24, 2016
@ just by reading your post it's obvious u are not the firm type but rather too soft.also u are worshipping and spoiling your wife too much and she is aware of this fact that's why she wants to capitalize on this to the fullest. All u need to do is flip the script in this woman,man up guy am not saying you should be brash or stingy but do what is expected of a responsible husband and leave every other irrelevancies..some women need to be handled with a firm grip so stop acting like a baby oga and don't let her outsmart or take advantage of u..if u give a woman such opportunities trust me she would take full advantage of it
Re: How Much Is Ideal To Be Giving One's Wife As Monthly Stipend? by dbestuncle: 1:26pm On Sep 23, 2020
Good day Sir,
How are u, ur job, madam n the kids.
I know it's some years now since u shared this your family problem.
I want you to tell me how u eventually solved this family problem.
Thanks

banjolek:
Hello guys,

I need your honest opinion on this, how much is really ideal to give one's wife as monthly pocket money?.

Here's my story, i recently got married and also moved to a new 3 bedroom apartment around gbagada. I earn a pretty decent income while my wife also works in the bank with a salary of like 150k. She saves a half of this salary and uses the remaining for upkeep.

Now the issue is my wife insists that i must give her monthly pocket money and i have proposed 20k, an amount i feel is more than adequate for her if added to about 75k which she already has to herself from her salary. Also note that this 20k does not mean i dont get to buy her random stuff during the month or provide anything she asks for if i feel its a reasonable demand.

A1so bear in mind that i am still 100% responsible for providing food and other bills in the house. In addition we just moved to a new apartment like i mentioned earlier and still in the process of furnishing it so a chunk of my monthly salary goes into furnishing the house.

We also have a plan to set up a business for her, so i'm also currently saving part of my salary to fulfill that dream.

Now my wife has rejected the proposed amount of 20k saying its too small.

I need your take on this people, considering all i have mentioned above, is 20k really too small to be giving her monthly?

i wrote this in a hurry, please bear with any typo observed.
Re: How Much Is Ideal To Be Giving One's Wife As Monthly Stipend? by Rubby007: 7:48pm On Sep 24, 2020
banjolek:


Absolutely on point, apart from saving half of her salary,she doesn't even have to spend a lot of money on transportation as her office is very close to our house. Really baffling.
bro na there u go dey till she finished her house o
she will kill u an ur dreams with bills till u become incapacitated last last she go say u're not responsible. after all said an done a responsible wife should care more about how u safe for the future than wat she get from u today. maybe u should slash ur salary too an safe it if she can't cope with then u no wat u're in for bro, no come die proving a point o
Re: How Much Is Ideal To Be Giving One's Wife As Monthly Stipend? by Juliearth(f): 6:16am On Sep 26, 2020
banjolek:
Hello guys,

I need your honest opinion on this, how much is really ideal to give one's wife as monthly pocket money?.

Here's my story, i recently got married and also moved to a new 3 bedroom apartment around gbagada. I earn a pretty decent income while my wife also works in the bank with a salary of like 150k. She saves a half of this salary and uses the remaining for upkeep.

Now the issue is my wife insists that i must give her monthly pocket money and i have proposed 20k, an amount i feel is more than adequate for her if added to about 75k which she already has to herself from her salary. Also note that this 20k does not mean i dont get to buy her random stuff during the month or provide anything she asks for if i feel its a reasonable demand.

A1so bear in mind that i am still 100% responsible for providing food and other bills in the house. In addition we just moved to a new apartment like i mentioned earlier and still in the process of furnishing it so a chunk of my monthly salary goes into furnishing the house.

We also have a plan to set up a business for her, so i'm also currently saving part of my salary to fulfill that dream.

Now my wife has rejected the proposed amount of 20k saying its too small.

I need your take on this people, considering all i have mentioned above, is 20k really too small to be giving her monthly?

i wrote this in a hurry, please bear with any typo observed.




Did you allay all these reasons you mentioned here? I think 20k is fair enough since she has her own money.


Also, encourage her to allocate some her resources into running the home too. Marriage is a partnership and you dont have to bear all the burden.
Re: How Much Is Ideal To Be Giving One's Wife As Monthly Stipend? by hakeemhakeem(m): 11:10am On Sep 26, 2020
Onegai:
It's okay.

Sit her down and tell her the money she's getting is a token of love, meant to be spent on frivolous things for herself. And that the amount will increase as things get better. Also get a joint account in which both of you will be paying savings into and make her a co-signatory. It will cure her of her fears about you.

Well said she doesn't need your money my thought is she probably she doesn't want you to bigger house.may be the ways you spent is not OK with it
Re: How Much Is Ideal To Be Giving One's Wife As Monthly Stipend? by balitaaluminium(f): 11:20am On Sep 26, 2020
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