Its a long story and I'll cut it as short as possible, i only see this in movies that is why am suprised & decided to put this here, it was staring me in the face all along but i ignored it, the way this girl showed me care like she's my mum, sometimes send me money in school, get me things on birthdays and i never ask such of her, scrutinized & disqualified every girl i come close to, always describing a guy she will like to date which happens to have all my qualities, always apologize even if am wrong, jokingly calls me her husband, tells me her deepest secrets, cares about my opinion of her, appreciate little things from me including the first time i took her out because she coerced me to, wasn't angry when people were spreading rumours we were dating because of how close we are and how she behaves towards me in public. I was sensing that she likes me but shrugged it off thinking she was close to me because I'm the brother she never had. Two months ago a cousin asked me to beg her to be his girlfriend that she listens to me, i did that & she said she will think about it, but she didn't, my cousin chased her for weeks even tried to trick her into visiting him in abuja, when he realized nothing is working for him he got desperate & angry & went to her aunt whom she's staying with & told the aunt that we are actually dating that i have brainwashed the girl into showering me with lots of gifts that from the way she talks about me that she has lost it, my cousin went to my mum & said the same thing then he stopped talking to me. My mum called me & when i came home, she sternly warned me to stay away from her, that the way everyone is talking about us i might soon get into trouble, out of anger & suprise i called her to ask why she's spreading baseless rumours, she laughed & said i shouldn't worry that my cousin is angry because she rejected his advances that she told my cousin we were dating and she's ready to wait for me till enternity for marriage, i was irritated & asked her why she would say something like that when she knows we aren't dating & my cousins intentions, that she should leave me out of her crazy world that i cant continue with this, when i was about to hang up, she asked me to wait, after a short pause, she said she has been inlove with me since she first saw me, but sadly i didn't feel the same way, that whenever something like this happens she always imagine its our love being persecuted and am the only guy who hasnt tried to take advantage of her, even as i had several opportunities, that she wish all whats happening is real that she doesn't care about the consequences. I frozed, i tried to speak and i was just mumbling and i cut the call. I'm a bold guy and i haven't felt like this before to the point of stammering, I haven't been picking her calls because i don't know what to say and i see her as a friend and sister and am not attracted to her one bit, not that she's unattractive but the feelings is not just there, i love her as a sister and i don't know what will happen if i turn her down. And the fact that she's bearing all this for me makes me feel guilty and i want to stand by her in this trying time as a friend not a lover. And i don't believe in love in the first place she's one of the reasons am currently single.

How do i gently let her down without loosing her friendship?

Believe it or dont but if you don't have something meaningful to say just keep quiet thanks.

If you don't wanna date her you don't have to. Let her know your mind.

tell her exactly what you wrote below, and if she is a friend indeed, she will understand. dont get sucked into dating her to "please her"

dauntless15:
i see her as a friend and sister and am not attracted to her one bit, not that she's unattractive but the feelings is not just there, i love her as a sister

What I've learnt in this kind of situation is don't go into a relationship out of pity. As daunting as it looks, all you need do is let her know your mind. You need not avoid her or stop picking her calls. If indeed you're bold but still not bold enough to confront her, I think you're already falling for her. Would t be a bad thing though. Just be sincere with yourself. Cheers.

MRBrownJ:
tell her exactly what you wrote below, and if she is a friend indeed, she will understand. dont get sucked into dating her to "please her"

she will never understand

ybalogs:
What I've learnt in this kind of situation is don't go into a relationship out of pity. As daunting as it looks, all you need do is let her know your mind. You need not avoid her or stop picking her calls. If indeed you're bold but still not bold enough to confront her, I think you're already falling for her. Would t be a bad thing though. Just be sincere with yourself. Cheers.

i just care about how she feels, her aunt is giving her a hard time already all because of me, i feel responsible for her plight

[b]Believe me bro, if you turn her down, you'll lose her friendship. Love can be found in crazy manners. It's true you may not have feelings for her as per dating, but you already see her as a sister which gives your relationship an edge for easy and full time survival if you give it a chance.
She's been with you because she loves you, and if you let her down, she may as well hate you in return at the end, and believe me, if she finally happens to start dating someone else, you may end up regretting never being the one she's dating.

Sometimes loves doesn't come in full force, it takes time and attention over time to be built up and such love tends to last much longer.

You see her as a sister which is why you have doubt of a possible successful relationship with her, but from now on try change that mindset.
See her as a young, nice and caring girl who deserves to be loved.
See her as a potential life partner.
See her as a girl who's bold enough to know what she wants and believes in it.

Remember, the best type of relationship is where your partner is your best friend which from your story is what you two are to each other. Decide wisely #My_opinion_though#

I wish you the best.[/b]

MrFinbarr:
[b]Believe me bro, if you turn her down, you'll lose her friendship. Love can be found in crazy manners. It's true you may not have feelings for her as per dating, but you already see her as a sister which gives your relationship an edge for easy and full time survival if you give it a chance.
She's been with you because she loves you, and if you let her down, she may as well hate you in return at the end, and believe me, if she finally happens to start dating someone else, you may end up regretting never being the one she's dating.

Sometimes loves doesn't come in full force, it takes time and attention over time to be built up and such love tends to last much longer.

You see her as a sister which is why you have doubt of a possible successful relationship with her, but from now on try change that mindset.
See her as a young, nice and caring girl who deserves to be loved.
See her as a potential life partner.
See her as a girl who's bold enough to know what she wants and believes in it.

Remember, the best type of relationship is where your partner is your best friend which from your story is what you two are to each other. Decide wisely #My_opinion_though#

I wish you the best.[/b]

wao am speechless, never saw it this way until now, thanks bro

Friend zone 101

Guy friend zone her jor, if it's her she would do same. Women are pros when it comes to friend zoning it's high time we teach them a lesson. they've done enough, everyday guys are been made zonal chairmen of friendzones all over the world and dem ladies have a field day breaking hearts. bruv if you pity that girl we niggas won't forgive you.
#word

A girl that loves u 2d moon and back!!!! my man.. force urself 2 love her.. had I known, won't be a good thing 2 hear you say.. give it a trial 1st.. she deserves a chance with u. ..my eyes are wet..i feel like crying . I imagine what she would be passing through.. all these while!!!! hold her tight.. and don't b surprised, u may eventually love her, even more than she loves you.

Op, if what you've written above is true, I'll advice you seek God's face about it all, "...and whatever He tells you, do it."

quiverfull:
Op, if what you've written above is true, I'll advice you seek God's face about it all, "...and whatever He tells you, do it."

its 100% true, but how do you know what God tells you

All the recipe for a successful relationship on ground

If you turn her down, forget about her friendship

You love and you don't know it yet

If you think i am lying, let her go and see what happens after 2 months

You will regret your decision

Elevate the zone you have put her in..

But be careful, don't change your behavior towards her simply because youh are dating e.g trying to control her

Just be sweeter and more caring...

Make her not see any reason to look at another guy twice..

I made this mistake with one girl 3 years ago and till today i still regret it... Accept her and learn to love her

It is Cheaper, Safe and Better when a woman loves you more than you love her.She can go extra miles to make your life better than she met you...
#Love is best when it happens Naturally by itself, you don't force it.

dauntless15:
wao am speechless, never saw it this way until now, thanks bro

I recommend to follow what MrFinbarr just illuatriate for you..

dauntless15:
she will never understand

how can you be so negative.... at least give it a try instead of being scared to even ACT RIGHT. better lose such friendship than dating her out of pity

MRBrownJ:


how can you be so negative.... at least give it a try instead of being scared to even ACT RIGHT. better lose such friendship than dating her out of pity

hmmm

Bro, I've been in your shoes before and I will advice you



DO NOT DATE HER.

It's gonna be awkward between you two for a while, but trust me, it will go down.


Problem with dating her is, your deep respect simply won't be there. You'll be more likely to Bleep up and during fights, you will let loose words like "I don't even like you" fly from your mouth.....

At the end of the relationship, both of you will bitterly breakup, feeling you both got the shorter stick.



Dude, really, DONT DATE HER

Must love follows som protocol b4 it happens? Dis is a lady dat loves u 4 real. Why can't u giv her a chance. True love btw u wil grow naturally. Neva take d love of sm1 for granted. U may neva find dat kind of love again.

tee59:
Must love follows som protocol b4 it happens? Dis is a lady dat loves u 4 real. Why can't u giv her a chance. True love btw u wil grow naturally. Neva take d love of sm1 for granted. U may neva find dat kind of love again.

What I see from your post is a lady coming to protect another lady, one thing I know from this kinda scenarios if he gives it a shot and it fails, the hatred is gonna more intense than the
And btw, don't ladies take love for granted too

Bro, i won't encourage you to date someone you don't love.

But i want you to search deep down your heart. Stay away from her for a while, dont call her for a month and don't see her. Don't watsapp her, dont text her or anything. If you can successfully do this for a month, then you don't love her.

But if you think about her and miss her, and you are tempted to reach out to her. Then you love her. Better Search deep down your heart. So you don't lose someone you actually love but didn't know you did.

Chop her 1st. Everything becomes clearer after a good screw

MrFinbarr:
[b]Believe me bro, if you turn her down, you'll lose her friendship. Love can be found in crazy manners. It's true you may not have feelings for her as per dating, but you already see her as a sister which gives your relationship an edge for easy and full time survival if you give it a chance.
She's been with you because she loves you, and if you let her down, she may as well hate you in return at the end, and believe me, if she finally happens to start dating someone else, you may end up regretting never being the one she's dating.

Sometimes loves doesn't come in full force, it takes time and attention over time to be built up and such love tends to last much longer.

You see her as a sister which is why you have doubt of a possible successful relationship with her, but from now on try change that mindset.
See her as a young, nice and caring girl who deserves to be loved.
See her as a potential life partner.
See her as a girl who's bold enough to know what she wants and believes in it.

Remember, the best type of relationship is where your partner is your best friend which from your story is what you two are to each other. Decide wisely #My_opinion_though#

I wish you the best.[/b]

my good sir,you have an overdose of intelligence.I am currently in a similar delima.The girl in question is an international student in my school and my junior coursemate.i took it upon myself to help her with the course also offering advice and past lecture materials to her.We became good friends but now she has started giving me the green light.always asking who I am dating, visiting always, buying me stuffs.I know she has a boyfriend in her country as I went through her phone once.She recently changed her number on whatsapp just to try and bait me into admitting I loved her by questioning me as a neutral party about who I want to date,and if I love her back.She is good looking,but she is a good gal and I am not a loyal guy and don't want to cheat or break from heart of someone so good....please your immense wisdom is what I seek

MrFinbarr:
[b]Believe me bro, if you turn her down, you'll lose her friendship. Love can be found in crazy manners. It's true you may not have feelings for her as per dating, but you already see her as a sister which gives your relationship an edge for easy and full time survival if you give it a chance.
She's been with you because she loves you, and if you let her down, she may as well hate you in return at the end, and believe me, if she finally happens to start dating someone else, you may end up regretting never being the one she's dating.

Sometimes loves doesn't come in full force, it takes time and attention over time to be built up and such love tends to last much longer.

You see her as a sister which is why you have doubt of a possible successful relationship with her, but from now on try change that mindset.
See her as a young, nice and caring girl who deserves to be loved.
See her as a potential life partner.
See her as a girl who's bold enough to know what she wants and believes in it.

Remember, the best type of relationship is where your partner is your best friend which from your story is what you two are to each other. Decide wisely #My_opinion_though#

I wish you the best.[/b]

nice one! You nailed it.

lacasera14:
Guy friend zone her jor, if it's her she would do same. Women are pros when it comes to friend zoning it's high time we teach them a lesson. they've done enough, everyday guys are been made zonal chairmen of friendzones all over the world and dem ladies have a field day breaking hearts. bruv if you pity that girl we niggas won't forgive you.
#word

dis is not fair.

lacasera14:
Guy friend zone her jor, if it's her she would do same. Women are pros when it comes to friend zoning it's high time we teach them a lesson. they've done enough, everyday guys are been made zonal chairmen of friendzones all over the world and dem ladies have a field day breaking hearts. bruv if you pity that girl we niggas won't forgive you.
#word

Dis is not fair.

dauntless15:
Its a long story and I'll cut it as short as possible, i only see this in movies that is why am suprised & decided to put this here, it was staring me in the face all along but i ignored it, the way this girl showed me care like she's my mum, sometimes send me money in school, get me things on birthdays and i never ask such of her, scrutinized & disqualified every girl i come close to, always describing a guy she will like to date which happens to have all my qualities, always apologize even if am wrong, jokingly calls me her husband, tells me her deepest secrets, cares about my opinion of her, appreciate little things from me including the first time i took her out because she coerced me to, wasn't angry when people were spreading rumours we were dating because of how close we are and how she behaves towards me in public. I was sensing that she likes me but shrugged it off thinking she was close to me because I'm the brother she never had. Two months ago a cousin asked me to beg her to be his girlfriend that she listens to me, i did that & she said she will think about it, but she didn't, my cousin chased her for weeks even tried to trick her into visiting him in abuja, when he realized nothing is working for him he got desperate & angry & went to her aunt whom she's staying with & told the aunt that we are actually dating that i have brainwashed the girl into showering me with lots of gifts that from the way she talks about me that she has lost it, my cousin went to my mum & said the same thing then he stopped talking to me. My mum called me & when i came home, she sternly warned me to stay away from her, that the way everyone is talking about us i might soon get into trouble, out of anger & suprise i called her to ask why she's spreading baseless rumours, she laughed & said i shouldn't worry that my cousin is angry because she rejected his advances that she told my cousin we were dating and she's ready to wait for me till enternity for marriage, i was irritated & asked her why she would say something like that when she knows we aren't dating & my cousins intentions, that she should leave me out of her crazy world that i cant continue with this, when i was about to hang up, she asked me to wait, after a short pause, she said she has been inlove with me since she first saw me, but sadly i didn't feel the same way, that whenever something like this happens she always imagine its our love being persecuted and am the only guy who hasnt tried to take advantage of her, even as i had several opportunities, that she wish all whats happening is real that she doesn't care about the consequences. I frozed, i tried to speak and i was just mumbling and i cut the call. I'm a bold guy and i haven't felt like this before to the point of stammering, I haven't been picking her calls because i don't know what to say and i see her as a friend and sister and am not attracted to her one bit, not that she's unattractive but the feelings is not just there, i love her as a sister and i don't know what will happen if i turn her down. And the fact that she's bearing all this for me makes me feel guilty and i want to stand by her in this trying time as a friend not a lover. And i don't believe in love in the first place she's one of the reasons am currently single.

How do i gently let her down without loosing her friendship?

Believe it or dont but if you don't have something meaningful to say just keep quiet thanks.

so you think true love like hers is easy to come by?


The truth is you may never someone who will love you as much as she does.



Let me tell you my story. I used to see my wife as someone I'll never date because I stupidly saw her as a sister.


So while she was loving me I was loving the other girls who are not even half as good as her and with some frustrations along the way too



It was later I realised I have a gold and I've been looking around for bloody stones.


You know what? I broke up with all my girls and went back to her. Luckily for my stoopid self she hasnt moved on or got serious with another person. She accepted me and I promised myself not to leave her again




Moral of my long story; you may not be as lucky as I am. Love that girl now like she's the only lady in the world.



Else one day you'll be stuck with a devil of a woman and you'll look back and curse yourself why you did not marry the person who truly loved you

And it's a load of tosh to say because you don't love her now youll never love her




If you really want it to work the love will eventually grow in your heart and she will become the most important person in your life




I beg you, dont let her go



Out there is filled with crazy girls!!! You can't let a good girl go

MrFinbarr:
[b]Believe me bro, if you turn her down, you'll lose her friendship. Love can be found in crazy manners. It's true you may not have feelings for her as per dating, but you already see her as a sister which gives your relationship an edge for easy and full time survival if you give it a chance.
She's been with you because she loves you, and if you let her down, she may as well hate you in return at the end, and believe me, if she finally happens to start dating someone else, you may end up regretting never being the one she's dating.

Sometimes loves doesn't come in full force, it takes time and attention over time to be built up and such love tends to last much longer.

You see her as a sister which is why you have doubt of a possible successful relationship with her, but from now on try change that mindset.
See her as a young, nice and caring girl who deserves to be loved.
See her as a potential life partner.
See her as a girl who's bold enough to know what she wants and believes in it.

Remember, the best type of relationship is where your partner is your best friend which from your story is what you two are to each other. Decide wisely #My_opinion_though#

I wish you the best.[/b]

This guy am quoting is a correct guy, listen to him.

What I notice is that you already have something with this lady that some married couples wish they did. My advice is to give it a try for a little while if you are not currently seeing anyone, make it clear that you guys will end it if you are still not feeling anything or you start having feelings for someone else.
But please, never have it in mind you are doing her a favor, you are hopefully investing in your future.
Finally pick her calls or call her back.

oodua1stson:
so you think true love like hers is easy to come by?


The truth is you may never someone who will love you as much as she does.



Let me tell you my story. I used to see my wife as someone I'll never date because I stupidly saw her as a sister.


So while she was loving me I was loving the other girls who are not even half as good as her and with some frustrations along the way too



It was later I realised I have a gold and I've been looking around for bloody stones.


You know what? I broke up with all my girls and went back to her. Luckily for my stoopid self she hasnt moved on or got serious with another person. She accepted me and I promised myself not to leave her again




Moral of my long story; you may not be as lucky as I am. Love that girl now like she's the only lady in the world.



Else one day you'll be stuck with a devil of a woman and you'll look back and curse yourself why you did not marry the person who truly loved you

wao tnx bro, thats really something to think about