I'm a coloured woman from Port Elizabeth, who recently got involved with a Nigerian man even though he has a girlfriend (she's not from Nigeria or SA). I find this man very charming. He always says the right things to win me over and he treats me with respect. He told me he loves me and will leave his girlfriend for me but I need to give it time... He even spoke about having children together... I have fallen head over heals in love with him but I've been hurt too many times. Can this man be trusted or am I just being played for a fool here. I would like some honest opinions from the forum please. Also another question, If a Nigerian man had paid labolla for a Nigerian woman in Nigeria but broke things off before the ceremony, is it still his obligation to marry this woman or are they married already seeing that he'd paid labolla. Our culture doesn't allow for a man to pay labolla, so I don't know much about it.

Thanks for the feedback

Sister r we pychic? Do we knw wat is in dat yo man's mind? Abeg we r not mind readers. Anyway, wat is dis yo lobola?

*Jst passing by*

Sweedy, its nice to throw up this question to Nigerians.

I will advice you do not have full trust in him. Do you know why?

We Nigerians have a bad image outside the country (though not all of us are bad)

Throw up alot of test to see how sincere he is to you.

As for the lobola (dowry), how did you know he broke up with the lady?

Is that what he told you? And you believed him?

Am not tryna doubt the man but since you have been through a lot of heart breaks

i sincerely do not want this to end up the same way.

cynthia123:
Sweedy, its nice to throw up this question to Nigerians.

I will advice you do not have full trust in him. Do you know why?

We Nigerians have a bad image outside the country (though not all of us are bad)

Throw up alot of test to see how sincere he is to you.

As for the lobola (dowry), how did you know he broke up with the lady?

Is that what he told you? And you believed him?

Am not tryna doubt the man but since you have been through a lot of heart breaks

i sincerely do not want this to end up the same way.

See dis 1 oh, tanishing we 9ja guys image to an expatriate

you made things even worse for her and for all Nigerians. how does having a bad image connect to her question? the man is in a relationship already and she is going in as a mistress. do not blame the man. for she knows about his current relationship. tomorrow do not blame it on any Nigerian. you met a man and he is a man period. being Nigerian has nothing to do with being in love. men are same all over the world.we do not have the highest divorce rate or the highest single women in the world. save us some image here please.
as for you miss colored SA, I have been to J'burg two times and i dont see your men marrying you either. If you love the Nigerian man and want to dip your head in love, be ready for whatever comes out of it. we cannot predict the heart of the man. many Nigerians end up with foreign wives, many do not and the case is similar to people all over the world. Study the man you claim to love and do not shatter your fellow girl's relationship and hope for yours not to be shattered by someone else in the future. if the man is engaged to someone else, then go find your own man. As for dowry, if it is not paid, then the girl is not traditionally married. she is free to marry another man.

cynthia123:
Sweedy, its nice to throw up this question to Nigerians.

I will advice you do not have full trust in him. Do you know why?

We Nigerians have a bad image outside the country (though not all of us are bad)

Throw up alot of test to see how sincere he is to you.

As for the lobola (dowry), how did you know he broke up with the lady?

Is that what he told you? And you believed him?

Am not tryna doubt the man but since you have been through a lot of heart breaks

i sincerely do not want this to end up the same way.

ZeeAfrica:
Sister r we pychic? Do we knw wat is in dat yo man's mind? Abeg we r not mind readers. Anyway, wat is dis yo lobola?

lobola is the same thing as bride price .