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| Do First Impressions Stick? by topup: 1:58am On Sep 04, 2009 |
Hi, I've met so many people telling me, you're so different from when I first met you, and they refer to things I say and do, as if they are shocked that a person could have a personality and not be one dimensional. Question: Does where you meet a person of the opposite sex determine how you will relate to them, this question is for guys, but I guess anyone can chip in if they feel like it. Suppose, you met a girl in church, your first impression might be that she is a religious and devoted girl, sensible and mature, but if you were to find a picture of her on facebook with an outfit you consider slightly revealing, would your initial opinion disappear or would you tend to make excuses for her; 'she was probably caught off-guard in that picture.' 'she probably wouldn't do things like that.' 'this picture is probably an old one.' Scenario two, imagine you met another girl in a night club, so you might think she might have a wild side, and has probably had a few flings, maybe even one-night stands and as you're flirting with her later and telling her how attractive she is and was on the night you first saw her, she tells you she's not into that she doesn't want you talking about her like that, and then when you're talking about things that matter to you, she quotes a few scriptures that mean a lot to her, would your opinion of her change or would you think; 'there are so many Christians out there who know all the quotes and don't follow it.' 'she probably was raised in a Christian household but has gone in a different direction now.' 'She's probably trying to impress me, or to make me think she's not cheap 'cos I saw her in a nightclub.' Basically, does the first impression stay with you even long after you've met?? |
| Re: Do First Impressions Stick? by chiogo(f): 4:37am On Sep 04, 2009 |
They only stick when the person continues to display the same impressions you first found him/her with. I tend to judge people - who doesn't? - by things they do differently from me. But I also realize that one is capable of building friendship with people of differing opinions/views of life. If someone does something I'd consider "indecent" at first meeting, that person is "not innocent until proven innocent". Innocence to me, can mean many things of course. not particularly "innocent" as the word. Just my way of describing people who are deviant to my personal views.  |
| Re: Do First Impressions Stick? by oyinda3(f): 5:50am On Sep 04, 2009 |
@ op, why is this question for guys only? i mean i'm not surprised ( it's topup go figure ) but really seriously now. . . lol for scenario 1, my first impression of her being devout will stick to me as her true character. and the revealing dress pic on facebook will just give me more insight and probably make me think that she's trying to show people what she's not. or she doesn't want to seem too conservative to people (maybe being conservative comes as a weakness/disadvantage in that particular situation and she's trying to hide it) etc or maybe she's trying to fit in with some ppl. but in conversations and interactions though, true character usually peep through. i personally think it's best to be yourself and especially be consistent for scenario 2, seems like the same girl in scenario 1. devout but trying to fit in or portray a different image of herself than what her true character really is. which to me is not that flattering. first impression in this case will still stick to me but not as her true character. maybe what she's trying to become or pretending to be in order to be successful in her surrounding (make more friends, get a job, etc) etc again this isn't really flattering lol in sum, first impressions do stick. in fact, ANY impression will usually stick. but when you are in a situation when you have to rely more on first impression to make a decision (interviewing, sorting through a bunch of girls from the club etc) since you might not have the chance to meet with this person again, then first impression can be very critical. but once you've picked the "right" candidate based on first judgment of their impression , u can only hope that that person is consistent in their character for the duration of your acquaintance. lol |
| Re: Do First Impressions Stick? by eyonigger(m): 6:36am On Sep 04, 2009 |
First impression does not really count, reason is because there is always a pretender, be it conversationally or appearance, or place of meeting, a second or 3rd meeting could reveal what a person really is. However first impression does count based on how well you can observe, some people can be so real, that if you even meet them in a church, what comes out of their mouth would def tell u the kinda person they are. |
| Re: Do First Impressions Stick? by maedan(f): 6:47am On Sep 04, 2009 |
First impressions. . .hmm'n, I know there's a saying about that somewhere, but I don't think it applies. Initial impressions usually change as things progress - or they don't change. But I never hold people to how I first saw them because in the end, they might be turn out to be real or fake. So I keep an open mind. |
| Re: Do First Impressions Stick? by bydot1(m): 6:51am On Sep 04, 2009 |
Well it really depends on individual, if u say first impression doesn't count much thats ur own idea n self believe. To me it counts alot, imagine u met a gurl at a nite club puttin on all sorts of rubbish clothin, how wil feel bout her, n there after? |
| Re: Do First Impressions Stick? by biola44: 8:31am On Sep 04, 2009 |
it depends, sometimes 1st impression counts but not so often cos nigerians pretend alot. its left 2 u 2 find out which is which  |
| Re: Do First Impressions Stick? by Nobody: 9:41am On Sep 04, 2009 |
Of course first impression always sticks!! How you percieve someone to be initially is very important in how you eventually relate with the person. Admittedly, such impressions could be deceptive but all in all first impressions are important. Meeting a girl in church dosent make her a religous one and FB profiles cannot really tell who a person is. There are some people you see in church and even with their heads bowed, you can still tell they are not that religous. There's this instinct/intutition that comes with your first contact with a person. Most of the time, they always trun out to be who the person really is. |
| Re: Do First Impressions Stick? by iice(f): 2:11pm On Sep 04, 2009 |
eyonigger: I agree. Some people are either to consumed with 'playing' up appearances or 'initiating' an act/plan. They are not their real selves then and even sometimes they aren't their real selves till a very long time after  Never believed in first impressions anyway. . .like Barney says, you always have a 2nd, 3rd and 4th time to make a first impression  |
| Re: Do First Impressions Stick? by mamagee6(f): 2:37am On Sep 05, 2009 |
It stinks. |
| Re: Do First Impressions Stick? by Nobody: 4:10am On Sep 05, 2009 |
Yes, it absolutely does. |
| Re: Do First Impressions Stick? by posakosa(m): 4:51am On Sep 05, 2009 |
,mama-gee: mama-gee: werrin werrin na, |
| Re: Do First Impressions Stick? by tmny: 6:12am On Sep 05, 2009 |
I think 4 obodoyinbo, dt saying f 1st impression counts. But for we! We! I think pretence is one dt count. I feel u just ve 2 let ur sense guide u. They might not b real at 1st. And finally , u cant always jugde d book by its cover, just act right. |
| Re: Do First Impressions Stick? by bydot1(m): 6:27am On Sep 05, 2009 |
Hmm, Obodo oyinbo  |
| Re: Do First Impressions Stick? by posakosa(m): 7:02am On Sep 05, 2009 |
by.dot: |
| Re: Do First Impressions Stick? by posakosa(m): 7:03am On Sep 05, 2009 |
eyonigger: well said Nigger. |
| Re: Do First Impressions Stick? by na2day2(m): 9:23am On Sep 05, 2009 |
topup: summary: 1st bad impression(what she wore, what she was doing, where u met her etc) will easily stick more often than not but the good 1st impression hardly sticks, it is just normal human science, we easily remember a wrong than a good deed. |
| Re: Do First Impressions Stick? by TheSeeker(m): 3:17pm On Sep 05, 2009 |
In my humble opinion, first impression doesn't count. Meeting someone in church doesn't automatically make them a good person, at least, not in my book. Matter of fact, I'm always weary of people in churches. I know much more cases where pastors have slept on several occasions with my young girls in their various churches; so tell me, when you meet most of these pastors, what do they portray? They'll portray this heavenly meekness and pureness. . . I don't even trust a lot of pastors, yet, I'm a Christian and I go to church. Just tell me what's in the Bible your character means nothing to me, you're on your own with God when judgment comes. As for the girl on facebook, it depends on how you want to see her. I'd see that as probably trying to mix up with the current in-thing, going on in the society and maybe trying to get in the mix of what her friends are probably involved in. I'll also have the perception that it's just another dimension to who she is. I'll consider her, a bit open, and spontaneously dynamic. From experience, there are lots of whores who have good and very acceptable moral behaviors; I see their whoring as a matter of choice, maybe not to profession I'd approve of, but hell yes, it makes them happy and they make a living from it. I can't specifically base all other views I have of them on just that. There are many sides that make up a person, either good or bad. But like N2D said, we tend to always remember the bad than the good. For instance, you meet a guy who's terribly heartbroken and at that moment hates himself, his life, everyone around him. How do you suppose he'll accept you when he meets you? Of course, it'll not be friendly. Will you, hitherto, have a permanent belief that he's unfriendly? That's how it is. You wait it out until they've done a particular thing repeatedly before you can decipher what they really are. |
| Re: Do First Impressions Stick? by topup: 4:06am On Sep 06, 2009 |
Well, great thoughts here. I think yes, for most people a bad impression sticks more than a good one. People are already really sceptical today and if you make one mistake, they can easily believe that everything else has been a pretence. I mean how many times have friends fallen out because of one sentence that may have gone too far in an argument, will they forgot, probably not, in fact, we'll tend to think that the girl was fake during the 3 years of friendship, we tend to think that if a person is truly a good person they will not be caught off-guard but that is not always the case, in fact it rarely is, I have never met someone who was one dimensional, I have experienced bad and good sides of people and you just have to accept it that people have sides, people have different behaviours and we can't form a proper picture of someone in a short amount of time. Some people are even better at covering their behaviour, so you just will never know. For me first impressions mean nothing, what means more is when I see the person behaving when I'm not there. |
| Re: Do First Impressions Stick? by TheSeeker(m): 6:32am On Sep 06, 2009 |
topup:The problem people have is that they don't think there's anything like being caught off guard or making the silliest of mistakes. People have fallen at points where they were most revered, and if there's one thing I can be sure of: It's that they never wished they'd fall at such areas. Human will be human. We have a part that's just not admissible, and we have the good sect too; I believe these makes us up. And again, we all have our moments when we tend to deviate from who we are and it is some people who will bear the brunt and judging by what people think, their thought will be centered on what that person did that's different from what they've been doing. I've seen many cases where people have said that someone's true personality manifests when they are angry but I completely disagree with that. We all have different modes of controlling our temper and some people aren't just good at that. I have a friend who will say all sorts of unimaginable things when he's angry and deep down in me, I know with countless qualities and reasons, that he's indeed a great person, a good friend too; and there's another friend of mine too, who becomes very quiet when he's angry. I'm just trying to support your point that people mostly expect others to always be of good conduct but that's not always the case. However, it's noteworthy that some act really outrageously out of plain immaturity, ignorance or grand stupidity. |
| Re: Do First Impressions Stick? by iice(f): 7:40am On Sep 06, 2009 |
LOL lost of control is the issue when it comes to anger. Even when i loose my cool, i still mentally filter before talking. Some people rely on that excuse to say what is really on their mind Some people are one dimensional for me oooo They could never surprise me not matter how out of character it may seem to others, it would still look like in character for me I think some people are easier to read. You can form a solid opinion of them in a short time. Others take longer. And a few take forever |
| Re: Do First Impressions Stick? by eyonigger(m): 8:00am On Sep 06, 2009 |
iice: WORD!! |
| Re: Do First Impressions Stick? by na2day2(m): 8:29am On Sep 06, 2009 |
iice: case in point, u! |
| Re: Do First Impressions Stick? by TheSeeker(m): 8:39am On Sep 06, 2009 |
[Quote]I think some people are easier to read. You can form a solid opinion of them in a short time. Others take longer. And a few take forever[/Quote] That's how it is. [Quote]LOL lost of control is the issue when it comes to anger. Even when i loose my cool, i still mentally filter before talking. Some people rely on that excuse to say what is really on their mind[/Quote] Lost control it is. You filter mentally before you talk and does everyone have to do the same? And if they don't they are on a bad list? Yes, some people air their mind when they are angry (I think it's a cheap mode), but do you have a problem with people saying their minds even when they're angry? |
| Re: Do First Impressions Stick? by bluespice(f): 9:05am On Sep 06, 2009 |
they stick long enough for me to make my second, third n fourth impression of the person. |
| Re: Do First Impressions Stick? by iice(f): 12:44pm On Sep 06, 2009 |
na2day?: Sharap TheSeeker: Rofl  Egad, i was just giving some reasons. Wetin kwonsain me? No i have no problem with people saying their minds when they are angry. Its human . I said i try to filter, not that i always filter  Bad list of what? With enough madness in the world? Chaii na wah |
| Re: Do First Impressions Stick? by chidyke77(m): 2:59pm On Sep 06, 2009 |
It matters and somtimes nt,bt remember dat one mans meat is anodas poison. Som men wl lik d lady d met in d church while others wl prefer d club girl. As for me,d way and polite manner u get in contact wt me wl capture me most regardles of d environment. |
| Re: Do First Impressions Stick? by Busybody2(f): 4:09pm On Sep 06, 2009 |
I was privy to when this thread was opened, but could not respond, for lack of what to say because  With the exception of eyonigger, bluespice and na2day, everyone else who responded to this thread with just a one line response is an olodo like me, glad to see that I am in good company and that all is not lost |
| Re: Do First Impressions Stick? by Secretz(f): 9:25pm On Sep 06, 2009 |
It shouldn't count, but it often does stick. . . . . . Like meeting someone on a blind date when they were having a bad 'appearance' day, thinking 'what the f***'. . . and then seeing them another time randomly and been like 'phoarrrrrr, shoulda kept in contact with you if I knew you could look this good, but only the first impression I had of you when we first met, wasn't really impressive. . . .l' ol. |
| Re: Do First Impressions Stick? by Nobody: 9:28pm On Sep 06, 2009 |
Busy_body:  okay then, lemme revise my post @Post It sticks, but it doesn't mean its gonna count when the person starts showing other attitude and actions. I seriously hate meeting people, and then them begining to show attitudes I despise. ah ah, my low tolerance level again. |
| Re: Do First Impressions Stick? by follypimpi(m): 9:36pm On Sep 06, 2009 |
topup: |
| Re: Do First Impressions Stick? by na2day2(m): 11:19pm On Sep 06, 2009 |
bluespice: i heard that! iice: wetin? can't i fit talk true again? Busy_body: lol u like fight ooo! |
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