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Pls... - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Re: Pls... by eldee(m): 11:13pm On Sep 10, 2009
@poster
One simple point you didn't pay attention to is the fact that he just started school
Your son is not sick, this might just be a reaction to the change in environment.

It's obvious that he's not used to being without his mum . . . it's just a phase
Re: Pls... by Nobody: 11:16pm On Sep 10, 2009
I think the poster implied that "as of late", he's been misbehaving (BEFORE HE STARTED SCHOOL).
Re: Pls... by eldee(m): 11:24pm On Sep 10, 2009
FL Gators:

I think the poster implied that "as of late", he's been misbehaving (BEFORE HE STARTED SCHOOL).

Aiite then, didn't notice that part.
But I still think it's just a phase, the resumption at school probably increased the effect.
Re: Pls... by LadyT(f): 12:06am On Sep 11, 2009
Even is the child has autism routine disciple and love with aid him if not cure him.
Re: Pls... by Nobody: 7:01am On Sep 11, 2009
Re: Pls... by vanitty: 9:11am On Sep 11, 2009
A 3 year old is meant to be naughty and have tantrums but when it becomes too much, then their might be an underlying problem.
He is in a class full of 3 years old and if they are all scared of him, you have to try and rein him in a bit. You really don't want the teachers to label him.

I cannot speak for all but you can try naughty steps (that really helps at that age but you have to be very consistent), it also helps if your toddler knows the reason why you are punishing him (when he does something you don't approve of punish him immediately, don't wait awhile so he will know the reason he is been punished)

You could also try the ignore tactics, that works, there are a lot of ways you can discipline a 3 year old without resulting to spanking

You can also try changing his diet, make sure everything he eats is healthy. If your child is on sugar day in day out, then obviously he will be troublesome

But if you are really worried, it really doesn't cost  a dime to have him checked out for ADD, ADHD,OCD or any other problems so you will know earlier on if he is just being naughty or crying for help in his own little way
Re: Pls... by sexyLeamon(f): 10:01am On Sep 11, 2009
He's in kindergarten. He's in a new place. Find something that he really enjoys (TV, computer, favorite toy, whatever, you will know what this is) and let him know that if he behaves in school that he can have an EXTRA 15-30 minutes of time with it. TRY to reward him for being good. IF you dwell on the negatives so will he.
Final note: does he behave the same way at home if yes carefully examine him and I mean carefully, who knows it could be dat he has Autism. but I hope not.
Re: Pls... by carvone: 10:39am On Sep 11, 2009
From what the poster said ,its obvious she has tried one option out of the numerous options of cobbing a child (smacking) which has obviously failed .Some of us have come up with wonderful suggestions and ideas,but i personally feel seeing a behavioural specialist is not a bad idea at all, she has nothing to lose by doing so and moreover the child is still in his early formative years. If there is any assistance or corrective measure the specialists want to render, it is now.
@ poster Your innermind can never deceive you so follow what your instinct says
Above all remember to tell God abt him,He gave him to you to train and will surely guide you on how to handle him

Peace
Re: Pls... by Secretz(f): 11:30am On Sep 11, 2009
Hmmmm . . . . . .

Ok I work with Special needs kids and to be honest those who are autistic just have extreme behavioural differences compared to supposed 'normal' children. You do NOT NEED to take your child to a Doctor, please go and train him well!!!! He is behaving like a normal naughty child. The only 'disabled' children that get my time and attention and I would recommend taking to the Doctors are those who are clearly physically disabled.

Discipline your child, even if you're in Europe, please don't let these oyinbo people label your child with stupidness. He can walk, talk, interact etc. If you are that concerned about his behaviour, you can always go see a behavioural specialist to clear your mind as he might have 'Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder' (ADHD or AD/HD). However, I think he's still quite young though. . . . remember he is 3, what 3 year old isn't like this? grin
Re: Pls... by Busybody2(f): 11:42am On Sep 11, 2009
Did I just read that there is no difference between a naughty child and an Autistic child mainly known as "bebe" or "odi" children in Nigeria shocked shocked shocked Hmmn, eni kan lo mo lipsrsealed


What am I saying sef, I have been informed there are several Churches in Nigeria where proper severe beating of an Autistic child administered by he Church, would resolve in that child speaking within a month and behaving appropriately lipsrsealed lipsrsealed lipsrsealed


And heaven help that child who is on the Autism Spectrum with the unfortunate symptom of laughing non-stop for hours in the night with his/her parents attending Helen Okpabio's Church, said child would have been sent to the village to die as a witch lipsrsealed lipsrsealed lipsrsealed


Nigerians I hail thee cool
Re: Pls... by Nobody: 11:52am On Sep 11, 2009
Re: Pls... by Secretz(f): 12:03pm On Sep 11, 2009
chaircover:

@Secretz In the UK, unless you want to go private, and even then you will need a referral letter from your GP, these kinds of referrals have to be via a GP, so she will have to see a doctor in the first instance before she can see a behavioural specialist.

Some Autistic Kids have other issues apart from behavioural, some have sensory issues and some have speech difficulties and others have motor difficulty.

Autism is not like appendicitis; in which you have either got it or you haven’t, Autism covers a very wide range of symptoms and can range from very mild to very severe.

People can actually have mild autism without even realising it.


You are very correct. But there is also a high possibility he has ADHD. There is a differece though. However, she should get him checked out. Only a specialist will know. I am going based on my experience with these children and the likely hood. People automatically asume their child is autistic when infact they are not and end up being diagnosed with something else. wink
Re: Pls... by amebono1: 2:40pm On Sep 11, 2009
outstrips and her senseless posts sometimes no offence, but i remember telling you in some thread that, the day you stop attaching too much sentiments to your post, will be the day a lot of us here, will bother taking your advices

but why people forget their culture all in the name of obodo oyibo or the westernized world is beyond me

So you reckon the best way to calm this child down is by giving him medication eh kwa? undecided

I can imagine the poor boy been dependent on what ever anti bla bla drugs the doctor gives to

Dont we have stubborn kids again? i remember when my eldest sister's daughter beat up 5 boys in her school and she was given a suspension for 2 weeks grin grin grin after 2 weeks she went back to school, it was the cleaner in the school that got a bite from her, but the sweet gurl has out grown it all

Why take a child to a behavioural bla bla bla, the boy should be getting booked for an appointment with extra lesson teacher and not with a psychiatrist or psychologist for goodness sakes,seriously im getting pissed sef, why do people act oyiboish when they know that we have cases in nigeria  that has been dealt with?
Re: Pls... by tubabie(f): 2:56pm On Sep 11, 2009
@OP
This is just a phase I think your child will get over with love and discipline.
My brother was a "terror" when he was at that age and infact had to change schools because the teachers were tired of him like your child's case BUT he wasn't in anyway sick infact he is a grown cool guy now lol. Love your child and discipline him too. He will come good . And pray too.
Re: Pls... by Outstrip(f): 3:02pm On Sep 11, 2009
Amebo I have never seen a human being that enjoys being known as the ignorant one. You definitely stand out. Hopefully the poster will take the advice and go see a specialist like sensible people here have advised. Even if he is diagnosed with ADHD he most likely will not need medication and even if it is autism then the child at least has a chance to get help as quickly as possible.
Re: Pls... by Secretz(f): 3:06pm On Sep 11, 2009
tubabie:

@OP
This is just a phase I think your child will get over with love and discipline.
My brother was a "terror" when he was at that age and infact had to change schools because the teachers were tired of him like your child's case BUT he wasn't in anyway sick infact he is a grown cool guy now lol. Love your child and discipline him too. He will come good . And pray too.

You sabi correct. I let mummy read this thread, she said 'han han, you were 3 times as bad!'. lol  tongue
Re: Pls... by tubabie(f): 3:11pm On Sep 11, 2009
Outstrip:

Amebo I have never seen a human being that enjoys being known as the ignorant one. You definitely stand out. Hopefully the poster will take the advice and go see a specialist like sensible people here have advised. Even if he is diagnosed with ADHD he most likely will not need medication and even if it is autism then the child at least has a chance to get help as quickly as possible.

I hope the poster will give the child more attention and love, its obvious he needs a that. Slow pedal on your Specialist, ADHD, Medication,Autism talk, OK? Its easier for you to make the mother more scared than calming and encouraging her.

@OP
If going to see a GP/behavioural specialist will make you rest easy, then go ahead.
Re: Pls... by tubabie(f): 3:11pm On Sep 11, 2009
Secretz:

You sabi correct. I let mummy read this thread, she said 'han han, you were 3 times as bad!'. lol  tongue
LOL. cool. howdy? wink
Re: Pls... by Nobody: 3:16pm On Sep 11, 2009
Outstrip:

Amebo I have never seen a human being that enjoys being known as the ignorant one. You definitely stand out. Hopefully the poster will take the advice and go see a specialist like sensible people here have advised. Even if he is diagnosed with ADHD he most likely will not need medication and even if it is autism then the child at least has a chance to get help as quickly as possible.

1. If the child is diagnosed with ADHD in the west he goes on medication instantly and will most likely take it for life . . . the problem is no one knows the long term effects of ADHD drugs on the brain neurochemistry.

2. There is nothing like autism . . . that is the white man's invention to explain away bad behaviour from children lashing out at the degeneration of today's family structure.

The child has all the help he can get . . . from his mother if she's wise enough. I cant say this enough . . . NEVER EVER start your child on long term medication . . . you dont know what effect it will have in later yrs. The white man is infallible too.
Re: Pls... by Nobody: 3:25pm On Sep 11, 2009
Re: Pls... by Nobody: 3:31pm On Sep 11, 2009
chaircover:

David,  Autism is real & is not just an oyinbo thing O!.

The problem is that a lot of kids don't ever get diagnosed with it but it is just seen as antisocial and boisterous behaviour on the kids part, and the parents deal with it with a slap or good beating.

I respectfully beg to disagree ma'am. Autism is a thing of the mind, there is no clear agreement as to exactly what is autism, there is no known aetiology, it is unclear what part of the brain if any is involved, it is simply an amorphous label for kids who dont fit a narrow description of what we term "normal" behaviour.

A lot of kids dont get diagnosed true . . . but the REAL problem is that there is a very wide range of behaviour that can be termed autistic.

For example is an excessively loud child autistic? We are told that children who like to put things in particular order are autistic but is this really so? Are adults who have exactly the same behavioural pattern autistic too?
Re: Pls... by Nobody: 3:45pm On Sep 11, 2009
Re: Pls... by onijogbon(m): 3:47pm On Sep 11, 2009
Quote from: TOPE2000! on Yesterday at 10:12:59 PM
I agree . . . . . . . . Cool
My sis eldest son was also a naughty boy when he was young, he always got into trouble at school but if u see him now, he has changed but my sis did beat the hell out of the child Cheesy n he has changed Cool

Even God said we should beat our children  cheesy

chic2pimp:

Onijogbon by name onijogbon by nature. That name really does suit you. How u fit tell say me too I no dey joke ehn? undecided

oh, now u wan come take style spin am like say u dey joke. . .yeah right!

u know wetin you shake ya head for, which was evident from the sentence you had in bold.  anyway sha, na u sabi!
Re: Pls... by ifyalways(f): 3:49pm On Sep 11, 2009
@Poster,Are u a single mum ?
He needs a father figure to force-in discipline into his head.Meanwhile he is just 3,some kids that age are just naughty  and they often outgrow it.Correct him always. . .even if it means a little spanking.Nothing wrong with seeing a GP.Honestly,u and ur husband have alot of work to do and pls dont let ur mind/worries decieve u into believing there is something wrong with ur son.
Re: Pls... by Nobody: 4:07pm On Sep 11, 2009
@ David

Are you a doctor?
Re: Pls... by Nobody: 4:08pm On Sep 11, 2009
chaircover:

David, I agree with you that Autism is very broad spectrum, No one knows the cause, what part of the brain is affected or indeed the best treatment.

Having said that, there is normal behaviour and not so normal behaviour. [b]It is not normal for a 3 year old to be so aggressive towards his peers, certainly its anti social. It is also not very normal for a child to suddenly burst out laughing. [/b]I know kids that age play in the world of make believe and I have heard my daughter talk to her dolls but I think the poster is describing a different behavioural pattern here.

that is exactly the problem . . . what do we really understand as "normal" behavior? Is aggression abnormal? No its not. Every child is genetically different from the other so to expect that ALL will show signs of non-aggression to their peers is just false.

Until we define the parameters for "normal behaviour" we will simply continue discovering new "diseases" only to supply our poor children with medications they do not need. My younger brother was very aggressive as a child, infact it is said that the fastest way to turn a house upside down was to put him there . . . today you'll not believe he's the same child . . . no medication . . . no false diagnosis of autism.

chaircover:

I don't like this beating issue and as a culture we generally tend to use this as the main or only method to discipline a child. I have seem mothers whoop their children silly in public and you can see the fear in the child's eyes.

By all means if the poster chooses not to take the child for a medical assessment I will at least like to see her using other methods to deal with her sons behaviour.

As I said in one of my earlier posts, I don't beat my children but somehow I manage to get the point across to them. It is achievable without the need for violence

Beating is not violence, that is the white man's culture and we see how wonderful his children have turned out. The bible admonishes that we shld not spare the rod . . . you can discipline a child without being violent. I do not subscribe to pampering kids and "coming down to their level" . . . there is a reason you are the parent and not their buddy.
Re: Pls... by Nobody: 4:10pm On Sep 11, 2009
Ujujoan:

@ David

Are you a doctor?

No. Too lazy to bother.
Re: Pls... by Nobody: 4:17pm On Sep 11, 2009
davidylan:

No. Too lazy to bother.

Well you post dosent 'sound' lazy to me! smiley
Re: Pls... by Nobody: 4:39pm On Sep 11, 2009
Re: Pls... by LadyT(f): 10:23pm On Sep 11, 2009
Jesus can you people stop!

Lets stop mixing up mentally RETARDED children which children who are full of too much energy and start labelling them as autism sufferers its nonesense.

You people need to know the difference between child abuse and disciple.
Whenever I got a smack I knew I had been warned many times and my mother never stopped showing us love. All children as different some dont need to be smacked while others need it like a drug.

Yes some people are monsters and abuse their children but for Gods sake Im really shocked at some of you JJC's seriously.
Re: Pls... by Outstrip(f): 1:01am On Sep 12, 2009
There is nothing like autism So all the autistic children in Nigeria have "oyibo" blood. I just pray for these children because it is this kind of thinking that makes these demon casting churches that abuse and kill children thrive in Nigeria

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