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Should I Let Him? Pls Advice - Family - Nairaland

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Help!!!i Don't Want To Let Him Go... / Should I Let My Wife Cheat? / Should I Let My Feelings Known To Him? Pls Help! (2) (3) (4)

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Should I Let Him? Pls Advice by ToniaLee(f): 1:49pm On May 30, 2013
I have this problem that has been bugging me for a while now.being married for 5 years now with 3 kids.problem is that my sex life is not encouraging at all.I am very adventurous so,i always get bored with the bedroom thing.My hubby keeps on complaining(the complaints has been on since we got married).He thinks i am cheating on him but I AM NOT... In fact,this sex thing don tire me...when i come home from work,the Children`s wahala,making sure dinner is served and getting ready for the next day events wears me out.

I am tired of pretending,i want to really enjoy sex not do it just to satisfy him.Can you believe we have not had any vacation since we got married.even going badagry beach to relax is an issue not to talk of Obudu,Dubai,London or Us..he keeps on complaining no time or no money for vacation(instead we should invest in important things and leave vacation for now which i don`t agree with him).I love him, because he feels he makes the move all the time then i don't..He is 34 and i am 31.i do not intend to have more children,i just want to have fun with my hubby,do crazy things and be happy but he is not letting that happen.it is just home-office-home.For him,he runs his own business.

If you hang out sometimes,it is an issue.when i invite him for an event,he will decline and sometimes stop me from going.If he eventually goes with me,na quarell go follow us come home cos he will either say i was talking,sitting or dancing closely with one guy or the other.

Irrespective of all this,i still love him but i have been thinking that i need time to be alone(maybe spend a month at my parents`).whenever,i say that,na wahala.

So i have concluded that if he cannot make life interesting for me to be able to enjoy our sex life then i will allow him have a girlfriend(he might have one sef and i don't know..lol..)with my consent who will satisfy his sexual needs so that he can let me be.

For me,i don't intend sleeping around,i am fine the way i am..the funny thing is that i have lost the urge for sex only when i am drunk(sometimes it doesn't even work with the drinks).

He is presently in a semi non - talking mood with me.I want all of that to stop.Life is too short to give yourself too much wahala.So if he wants sex and i not meeting up to his expectations,IS IT A BAD IDEA ASKING HIM TO GET A BABE THAT CAN SATISFY HIM,WE CAN EVEN HAVE A THREE-SOME THAT PROBABLY CAN WAKE ME UP?

Please i need advice and your suggestion.Thank you
Re: Should I Let Him? Pls Advice by biolabee(m): 2:02pm On May 30, 2013
bad idea....

read this thread it may help you

https://www.nairaland.com/1136274/craving-passionate-marital-relationship
https://www.nairaland.com/1298226/she-wont-sleep-hubby


You have to be patient and make some efforts to reignite the flame too
You may need to take the initiative, find a low cost option in your city(whispering palms is ok or cotonou), get mama to look after the kids and encourage hubby.

There are experienced members on this forum whi can also advice you better


It is well with you..
Re: Should I Let Him? Pls Advice by baby124: 2:20pm On May 30, 2013
I really don't have any experience with this as sex is very important. Maybe you need to examine yourself. Is it stress or low sex drive or you are just not attracted to your man anymore. I see he feels you are not attracted to him, so he is dealing with some esteem issues. However never use your hand to invite another woman into your marriage, she may just be better than you in satisfying him, and off he goes with her. Also, don't move anywhere for a month. A weekend vacation away from the kids will work. Drop them off with his or your parents and spend the weekend in a hotel doing things both of you love. Like dinner, movies, cuddling at the beach, shopping. Just destress.

1 Like

Re: Should I Let Him? Pls Advice by Handsomeemmy(m): 2:31pm On May 30, 2013
YOU GUYS HAVE TO SIT DOWN AND SETTLE YOURSELVES..... BUT REMEMBER INVITING A THIRD PARTY INTO YOUR HOME IN THE NAME OF DOING SOMETHING CRAZY OR SPICING UP YOUR SEXUAL LIFE IS NOT THE ANSWER, INFACT IT IS VERY WRONG,THE BEGINNING MAYBE SWEET AND PLEASANT, BUT AT THE LONG RUN, IT WON'T BE ROSY AT ALL. ASKING HIM TO HAVE A GIRLFRIEND WILL HAVE A LOT OF IMPLICATION, WHEN THE GIRLFRIEND START GETTING THE WHOLE ATTENTION, WHEN SHE TAKES THE ATTENTION OF YOUR HUSBAND FROM YOUR KIDS, WHEN THE FINANCE IS TAKEN OVER BY HER, WHAT WILL YOU DO BY THEN? YOU DON'T SOLVE A PROBLEM WITH A WRONG SOLUTION. MAY GOD HELP YOU OUT.
Re: Should I Let Him? Pls Advice by coogar: 2:35pm On May 30, 2013
don't despair - help is on the way. the female viagra(sheagra) is hitting the shelves to help undersexed woman like yourself.
Re: Should I Let Him? Pls Advice by Nobody: 2:59pm On May 30, 2013
Baba Oyo don cause trouble grin

With your situation madam, If you're dreaming of one on one wonderland then keep dreaming, how bout starting from a night at your fav hotel ( themed room) or movies and dinner or spa ( massage& sauna ) the sex is great after massage by the way.

This is it, stop dreaming and start doing in other words make a move , live's too short my dear. We ( family woman) all go thru your same rant everyday so no biggie, deal with it grin

By the way madam , I don't mean to be intrusive but but what are you doing with your own earning? Nothing spoil if you buy the vaca/ getaway tickets from your own pocket since both of you are working towards the same goal , no?

1 Like

Re: Should I Let Him? Pls Advice by horny4u(f): 3:07pm On May 30, 2013
Take those 3 sex killers cuties to grandma place next weekend and use satin bedsheet + red light (get d idea) to turn your bed room to ayilara zone 1 then play tie or handcuff that nigga to the bed post then apply mouth and rapeeee the nonsense out of him jare...looool ...you know you want to....bad gal.

After it all, tell him to promise that one weekend a month he will be boyfriend/GF,sugradaddy/sugarbaby,teacher/studentrather than being husband all the time. As for 3some ...hahaha...do you wanna remove the roof on those 3 cuties heads...we will not see fire in the well....abeg banish that 3some jare except you want to introduce fleshlighhtt things.wink

Running businesses of my own I can confess to you tht it is a big thing to do and in his mind now he is doing it all for your and the cuties. Men foolishly seperate things into small and big things and then apply themselves to the big things nd neglect the small things yet as a woman too it is obvious the small things like whispering palms matters.

Give thanks for your marriage and visualise your marriage as the ideal marriage and so must it be.

6 Likes

Re: Should I Let Him? Pls Advice by baby124: 3:12pm On May 30, 2013
horny4u: Take those 3 sex killers cuties to grandma place next weekend and use satin bedsheet + red light (get d idea) to turn your bed room to ayilara zone 1 then play tie or handcuff that nigga to the bed post then apply mouth and rapeeee the nonsense out of him jare...looool ...you know you want to....bad gal.

After it all, tell him to promise that one weekend a month he will be boyfriend/GF,sugradaddy/sugarbaby,teacher/studentrather than being husband all the time. As for 3some ...hahaha...do you wanna remove the roof on those 3 cuties heads...we will not see fire in the well....abeg banish that 3some jare except you want to introduce fleshlighhtt things.wink

Running businesses of my own I can confess to you tht it is a big thing to do and in his mind now he is doing it all for your and the cuties. Men foolishly seperate things into small and big things and then apply themselves to the big things nd neglect the small things yet as a woman too it is obvious the small things like whispering palms matters.

Give thanks for your marriage and visualise your marriage as the ideal marriage and so must it be.

LOL!!! Sugar daddy and sugar baby recommended. Handcuffs are great too
Re: Should I Let Him? Pls Advice by coogar: 3:13pm On May 30, 2013
horny4u: Take those 3 sex killers cuties to grandma place next weekend and use satin bedsheet + red light (get d idea) to turn your bed room to ayilara zone 1 then play tie or handcuff that nigga to the bed post then apply mouth and rapeeee the nonsense out of him jare ...looool ...you know you want to....bad gal.

After it all, tell him to promise that one weekend a month he will be boyfriend/GF,sugradaddy/sugarbaby,teacher/studentrather than being husband all the time. As for 3some ...hahaha...do you wanna remove the roof on those 3 cuties heads...we will not see fire in the well....abeg banish that 3some jare except you want to introduce fleshlighhtt things.wink

Running businesses of my own I can confess to you tht it is a big thing to do and in his mind now he is doing it all for your and the cuties. Men foolishly seperate things into small and big things and then apply themselves to the big things nd neglect the small things yet as a woman too it is obvious the small things like whispering palms matters.

Give thanks for your marriage and visualise your marriage as the ideal marriage and so must it be.

2 Likes

Re: Should I Let Him? Pls Advice by horny4u(f): 3:29pm On May 30, 2013
coogar:


Warn yourself Coogar....lol
Re: Should I Let Him? Pls Advice by coogar: 3:31pm On May 30, 2013
horny4u:
Warn yourself Coogar....lol

no vex, it just never occurred to me you could räpe your husband. however, after examining your username carefully, i could see there may be an iota of truth in what you said. grin
Re: Should I Let Him? Pls Advice by ToniaLee(f): 3:45pm On May 30, 2013
@coogar, I love things like that but problem is, if I try that one, then I should be ready for everyday work.someone, said something about buying tickets for the vacation, I fear he might turn it down and waste my effort and money.he sometimes gets angry with me for buying him expensive things.for my own money oh.......
Re: Should I Let Him? Pls Advice by damiso(f): 3:47pm On May 30, 2013
jidegirl12: Baba Oyo don cause trouble grin

With your situation madam, If you're dreaming of one on one wonderland then keep dreaming, how bout starting from a night at your fav hotel ( themed room) or movies and dinner or spa ( massage& sauna ) the sex is great after massage by the way.

This is it, stop dreaming and start doing in other words make a move , live's too short my dear. We ( family woman) all go thru your same rant everyday so no biggie, deal with it grin

By the way madam , I don't mean to be intrusive but but what are you doing with your own earning? Nothing spoil if you buy the vaca/ getaway tickets from your own pocket since both of you are working towards the same goal , no?

Agree with jidegirl if long vacay is being long,maybe weekend away in whispering palms might help.And yeah you might have to pay for it(done that before).
Re: Should I Let Him? Pls Advice by blaise26abj(m): 3:49pm On May 30, 2013
Coogar u no well at allgrin grin grin grin grin

OP: Surprise your hubby. Don't wait to be surprised. Horny4u has said it all.
Re: Should I Let Him? Pls Advice by coogar: 3:51pm On May 30, 2013
Tonia Lee: @coogar, I love things like that but problem is, if I try that one, then I should be ready for everyday work.someone, said something about buying tickets for the vacation, I fear he might turn it down and waste my effort and money.he sometimes gets angry with me for buying him expensive things.for my own money oh.......

slow it down!!!!
you like things like what? räping your spouse? so horny4u is not alone here? holy moses!!!
Re: Should I Let Him? Pls Advice by ToniaLee(f): 3:51pm On May 30, 2013
@coogar, are you serious about the sheagra? Very much interested. For now, a change of environment can do wonders for me.I don't mind the place even if n.a. village...but he cannot afford to leave his work for one Saturday.his words, work now, enjoy later...I need to start d enjoyment now no be with grey hair.now that I still bubbling like me enjoy those things.
Re: Should I Let Him? Pls Advice by coogar: 3:54pm On May 30, 2013
Tonia Lee: @coogar, are you serious about the sheagra? Very much interested. For now, a change of environment can do wonders for me.I don't mind the place even if n.a. village...but he cannot afford to leave his work for one Saturday.his words, work now, enjoy later...I need to start d enjoyment now no be with grey hair.now that I still bubbling like me enjoy those things.

sheagra is almost out for women with low libido.....fortunately for you, there are many women all over the world going through this phase!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2332601/Women-libidos-high-Female-Viagra-debate-This-Morning-Kelly-Rose-Bradford-Shona-Sibary.html
Re: Should I Let Him? Pls Advice by ToniaLee(f): 3:55pm On May 30, 2013
Yeah, very crazy things...there was a night I asked him to park on 3rd mainland bridge so that we could do the do.......you need to see the look on his face.im no gree oh, he asked if we get hit by a car or mammy water decides to deal with us but I didn't send.dangerous things makes me high....
Re: Should I Let Him? Pls Advice by biolabee(m): 3:57pm On May 30, 2013
horny4u: Take those 3 sex killers cuties to grandma place next weekend and use satin bedsheet + red light (get d idea) to turn your bed room to ayilara zone 1 then play tie or handcuff that nigga to the bed post then apply mouth and rapeeee the nonsense out of him jare...looool ...you know you want to....bad gal.

After it all, tell him to promise that one weekend a month he will be boyfriend/GF,sugradaddy/sugarbaby,teacher/studentrather than being husband all the time. As for 3some ...hahaha...do you wanna remove the roof on those 3 cuties heads...we will not see fire in the well....abeg banish that 3some jare except you want to introduce fleshlighhtt things.wink

Running businesses of my own I can confess to you tht it is a big thing to do and in his mind now he is doing it all for your and the cuties. Men foolishly seperate things into small and big things and then apply themselves to the big things nd neglect the small things yet as a woman too it is obvious the small things like whispering palms matters.

Give thanks for your marriage and visualise your marriage as the ideal marriage and so must it be.


This is a ho.rny pro...cheesy
Re: Should I Let Him? Pls Advice by coogar: 4:09pm On May 30, 2013
biolabee:
This is a ho.rny pro...cheesy

i agree with you
that's the post of the week for me and the week isn't even over yet!
Re: Should I Let Him? Pls Advice by Nobody: 4:19pm On May 30, 2013
BWAAAAAAAH! Coogar just killed me with that Sheagra...... but after some Google help, i realize he is right. BUT sadly, it has been out since 2004, and i doubt this herbal stuff will help much in 2013.

@OP
women like you will die in silence because you are not doing what you need to do. here is a simple tool to help you regain some bedroom spark from that lazy husband of yours. tell him these exact following words that would punch him in his selfish ego:"listen honey, i want you to fukc my brains out, make me weep from pleasure, make me cuum till i lose my breathe.... so tell me exactly what you want me to do so that i can get you started because it has been a long time since you have given me any pleasure and this has to stop. i have needs/desires and as my husband you need to fulfill eacha nd every one of them. i have no desire to cheat or have another man do YOUR job, but i damn well sure wont die a miserable woman in the bedroom.....so come over and murder my pus.sy, RIGHT NOW!"

if after repeating these words for a few weeks he doesnt change his act, then simply tell him the truth that you will go and get yourself a young lover who will do all the stuff he is not man enough to do X3.....and do just that!

as much as his business is very important, the happiness and fulfillment of his wife is even more important, and he has to find the power, resources (or what not) to do you just like you need to be done. btw, next time you guys have sex, why dont you just tell him exactly how you want him to mount you and murder your cootie cat?! VOICE YOUR CONCERN; TELL HIM WHAT TO DO: faster, slower, lick me there, caress me there, softer, harder, dont cuum yet, smack my aaaass, pull my hair, treat me like a sl.ut etc (whatever rocks your boat!)

good luck!

1 Like

Re: Should I Let Him? Pls Advice by baby124: 4:31pm On May 30, 2013
Tonia Lee: Yeah, very crazy things...there was a night I asked him to park on 3rd mainland bridge so that we could do the do.......you need to see the look on his face.im no gree oh, he asked if we get hit by a car or mammy water decides to deal with us but I didn't send.dangerous things makes me high....
\

Oh i see, you are the adventurous type and he is actually the missionary type. You guys need to really talk to each other and compromise. He needs to relax and go with the flow a bit. I wonder how you guys can even concentrate when you are doing it and your hear one baby shout "mummy!!!" grin grin grin. You definitely need more, and some excitement too to get you started and in the mood.
Re: Should I Let Him? Pls Advice by coogar: 4:32pm On May 30, 2013
MRbrownJAY:
@OP
women like you will die in silence because you are not doing what you need to do. here is a simple tool to help you regain some bedroom spark from that lazy husband of yours. tell him these exact following words that would punch him in his selfish ego:"listen honey, i want you to fukc my brains out, make me weep from pleasure, make me cuum till i lose my breathe.... so tell me exactly what you want me to do so that i can get you started because it has been a long time since you have given me any pleasure and this has to stop. i have needs/desires and as my husband you need to fulfill eacha nd every one of them. i have no desire to cheat or have another man do YOUR job, but i damn well sure wont die a miserable woman in the bedroom.....so come over and murder my pus.sy, RIGHT NOW!"

if after repeating these words for a few weeks he doesnt change his act, then simply tell him the truth that you will go and get yourself a young lover who will do all the stuff he is not man enough to do X3.....and do just that!

as much as his business is very important, the happiness and fulfillment of his wife is even more important, and he has to find the power, resources (or what not) to do you just like you need to be done. btw, next time you guys have sex, why dont you just tell him exactly how you want him to mount you and murder your cootie cat?! VOICE YOUR CONCERN; TELL HIM WHAT TO DO: faster, slower, lick me there, caress me there, softer, harder, dont cuum yet, smack my aaaass, pull my hair, treat me like a sl.ut etc (whatever rocks your boat!)

good luck!

Re: Should I Let Him? Pls Advice by baby124: 4:33pm On May 30, 2013
coogar:

grin grin grin
Re: Should I Let Him? Pls Advice by ToniaLee(f): 4:37pm On May 30, 2013
@Mrbrown jay, WHoa......what can I say......will send it to him right away.....but I need something to level up with him....remember, I have kinda lost it. I need sumtin diff.e.g. change of environment, change of everything....pls suggest sumtin for this weekend.Thanks
Re: Should I Let Him? Pls Advice by biolabee(m): 4:39pm On May 30, 2013
MRbrownJAY: BWAAAAAAAH! Coogar just killed me with that Sheagra...... but after some Google help, i realize he is right. BUT sadly, it has been out since 2004, and i doubt this herbal stuff will help much in 2013.

@OP
women like you will die in silence because you are not doing what you need to do. here is a simple tool to help you regain some bedroom spark from that lazy husband of yours. tell him these exact following words that would punch him in his selfish ego:"listen honey, i want you to fukc my brains out, make me weep from pleasure, make me cuum till i lose my breathe.... so tell me exactly what you want me to do so that i can get you started because it has been a long time since you have given me any pleasure and this has to stop. i have needs/desires and as my husband you need to fulfill eacha nd every one of them. i have no desire to cheat or have another man do YOUR job, but i damn well sure wont die a miserable woman in the bedroom.....so come over and murder my pus.sy, RIGHT NOW!"

if after repeating these words for a few weeks he doesnt change his act, then simply tell him the truth that you will go and get yourself a young lover who will do all the stuff he is not man enough to do X3.....and do just that!

as much as his business is very important, the happiness and fulfillment of his wife is even more important, and he has to find the power, resources (or what not) to do you just like you need to be done. btw, next time you guys have sex, why dont you just tell him exactly how you want him to mount you and murder your cootie cat?! VOICE YOUR CONCERN; TELL HIM WHAT TO DO: faster, slower, lick me there, caress me there, softer, harder, dont cuum yet, smack my aaaass, pull my hair, treat me like a sl.ut etc (whatever rocks your boat!)

good luck!

radical but may yet jump start the equipment grin
Re: Should I Let Him? Pls Advice by coogar: 4:53pm On May 30, 2013
Tonia Lee: @Mrbrown jay, WHoa......what can I say......will send it to him right away.....but I need something to level up with him....remember, I have kinda lost it. I need sumtin diff.e.g. change of environment, change of everything....pls suggest sumtin for this weekend.Thanks

do it on a trampoline. grin
Re: Should I Let Him? Pls Advice by Nobody: 4:58pm On May 30, 2013
@Coogar
tell us the truth, if your woman told you the words i wrote above, wouldnt you do everything in your power to satisfy her? i know i would, as a weak performing man in the bedroom is the highest form of insult that a woman can throw at a man....and any man would obviously want to show that woman that he still has the "bull in him".

now, if the hubby says he doesnt care if the lady dies of se.xual starvation or not, then at least the lady will now know that the man has lost all desire for her (at least she would be settled on that issue once and for all).

Tonia Lee: @Mrbrown jay, WHoa......what can I say......will send it to him right away.....but I need something to level up with him....remember, I have kinda lost it. I need sumtin diff.e.g. change of environment, change of everything....pls suggest sumtin for this weekend.Thanks

only YOU know the kind of freak that YOU are, only YOU know what turns YOU on, only YOU have the key to YOUR own happiness. sit down with this man and come up with a simple family monthly plan: one week you guys do what HE wants to do, the next you guys do what YOU want....and he must do everything you desire to do (dont go asking for the moon o). so if you want him to mount you in the garden shed, then on your week of control you can do just that. if you want the family to go to the beach then he must follow you guys and do just that (he may actually enjoy it)......... but remember, the first step is for him to accept and understand that you have a BIG problem and, if he doesnt change then, you will do something drastic with the miserable life that you are living.
Re: Should I Let Him? Pls Advice by horny4u(f): 4:59pm On May 30, 2013
Won sha fe so mi le nu...


@OP
There is a saying "fake joy is better than genuine depression"

To jumpstart yourself is to begin to plan and decorate that bedroom ( u start with what you have) after being sweet to him wink (NL no like vocalwomen) he will be happy to go for a weekend anywhere as long as he is certain of a repeat of the tigeress audition.

He is also bored of the way things are and one of you must reawaken it and I suggest you be4 this small matter turns to who gets visitation right.

He may turn you down a few times honestly becos na new thing but donot give up (leave ego for now) as for 3rd mainland eyah ma dangerous ke....why not give him a BJ while driving at night or even outside quickiee at night in the car ..always come up for breath and to also monitor his driving ..your babies are still young....

If you wait for him to tke control...smh ...but I believe if you seize control he will not only follow he will end up taking the lead.

He is married now and acting all good relaxed I for talk more but won fe so mi le nu ni. He is YOUR husband ....use him.
Good luck!

1 Like

Re: Should I Let Him? Pls Advice by Nobody: 5:00pm On May 30, 2013

1 Like

Re: Should I Let Him? Pls Advice by biolabee(m): 5:02pm On May 30, 2013
Please carry go.. a lot of people are learning
I am learning for one,,,,

I like MBJ's advice also


horny4u: Won sha fe so mi le nu...


@OP
There is a saying "fake joy is better than genuine depression"

To jumpstart yourself is to begin to plan and decorate that bedroom ( u start with what you have) after being sweet to him wink (NL no like vocalwomen) he will be happy to go for a weekend anywhere as long as he is certain of a repeat of the tigeress audition.

He is also bored of the way things are and one of you must reawaken it and I suggest you be4 this small matter turns to who gets visitation right.

He may turn you down a few times honestly becos na new thing but donot give up (leave ego for now) as for 3rd mainland eyah ma dangerous ke....why not give him a BJ while driving at night or even outside quickiee at night in the car ..always come up for breath and to also monitor his driving ..your babies are still young....

If you wait for him to tke control...smh ...but I believe if you seize control he will not only follow he will end up taking the lead.

He is married now and acting all good relaxed I for talk more but won fe so mi le nu ni. He is YOUR husband ....use him.
Good luck!
Re: Should I Let Him? Pls Advice by Nobody: 5:08pm On May 30, 2013
Tonia Lee: @Mrbrown jay, WHoa......what can I say......will send it to him right away.....but I need something to level up with him....remember, I have kinda lost it. I need sumtin diff.e.g. change of environment, change of everything....pls suggest sumtin for this weekend.Thanks

btw: what will you "send"?! this is the stuff you have to tell your husband FACE TO FACE......when the kids are gone to bed and you have put on that sexy attire that you just got off the internet!

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