foolinlove:
My dignity and pride lies in my self esteem and sticking to my values, not in my virginity.

How ridiculous.

Men want to fuk everything that walks and then demand a virgin for marriage. So where are all these virgins coming from?

Maybe if men want a virgin, they should be a virgin as well. Stupid post imo.

pffffffftttt






You make it look like most men want to marry a virgin.



From what I know, only less than 1% of Nigerian men want to marry a virgin.



What am I saying sef. Naija has less than 1% of virgins (male and female

newsphase:


You said
u will be surprised to know that so many ladies just want to have sex without any string attached too, I don't see them as cheap girls, I see them as girls doing what makes them happy.

Culture is the way of life of a people, it is what binds a people, its the rules that lead the people that promote peace self respect and dignity.... You see in the pride of a lion... According to their culture only the Alpha male gets to mate with the females and lead the pack... this is their of life...

Now humans have their own way of life... the culture that binds them. the real truth is that western culture is filtering into African culture (its not so bad when cultures try to mix, but when an unholy way of life wants to mix with a clean one (although African culture is not all that clean), its pure purgatory..............

Ladies are now more open to men, and are ready to work on their emotions... (that is have sex when they feel like having sex) and I know this has made chigoizie7 very happy as he would not be entitled to sex unlike before....

You say
To me, I don't see virginity as any form of dignity.

am not sure you even know what dignifies women.

You say
exactly how many girls end up having many sex escapades with different men. It doesn't make them whores or cheap.

Can you please define what we can call a cheap girl?

You say
We should not always do what the society wants us to do @ our detriments.

The society is not telling to see this as a form of dignity, but culture is... the society is telling women to walk around half naked and call it fashion... its telling women to snap nude pics and post on social media and call it self expression.....
Culture teaches you respect, humility and sanity

I didn't and will not disagree with any of ur points one bit, because u made a lot of points.

One thing is have always refused to agree to is stereotypes, stereotypes in the sense that non-virgins are classified as either bad,wayward or bad set of people. That is the only thing I can disagree to.

Culture is the people's way of life, but permit me to flaw the laws of statistics as to carrying any sort of experiment to ascertain what I am about to say.

Virginity is so many things u said in our African and igbo traditions. Accepted.

What I will want to say is that despite the core values placed on virgins as regards culture, u can still attest to the fact that so many of our young girls( @least 70%) got married to their husbands as non virgins, and it does not in any way deter them from the core values of marriage. U can also bare me some truth that some of our known virgins turn out to be worst or bad as regards to marriage.


A certain behaviour of certain group of people over time become a kinda tradition/custom/culture.


And over time, our ladies are majority as non-virgins.


However, culture is what a certain group of people are known for, and in this 21st century, our young lady's are non virgins in minority, suffice it to ascertain that the number of non virgins out numbered the number of virgins, it kinda made a norm to be a non virgin. I will say that since majority of non virgins out numbered the number of virgins that it is now a norm/culture to be non virgin because that is what we are known for. Cultures and traditions are bound to change with place and time.
From the above observations, I came to realise that it does not matter to me if u are a virgin or not as long as u are a good person with a good and loving heart.



NB:- whatever u said up there is 100% truth. It is just that my perception about life is different than yours.

newsphase:


This is what I said at first

Now those ladies who still use this words..
I want to keep it (that is sex) for my husband.... in the days before this would show you are responsible and have dignity, but nowadays it just shows that you have a weak spirit which one thing men are ready to take advantage of..

Rather than saying this, it would be more better if you say you want to have your first experience on your wedding night.

Now am not saying that non-virgins cannot get married or whosever was in a bad situation and lost her virginity should not be considered dignified.... I am talking to all the virgins out there who still keep themselves and those who are about to have a rethink... I am saying they should hold on and am giving them more ammunition....

I tell them their virginity is very important.... I did not want this to affect non-virgins in any way... but like you said you are not from Nigeria, which makes it a little more difficult to make you understand the way things work here...

Your name is very important to me.... although it may not be worth a dime to the worth.. its more precious than gold to me... calling you foolinlove makes it seem as if you life is based on a past mistake and ignorance but not understanding

No matter what you say, it's still a no to sex.

No means no. Women shouldn't have to offer reasons or excuses - just say no and leave it at that.

If the relationship is progressing, you may want to give your reason. But until then, a simple no should suffice.