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She Slept In The Kitchen And Won My Heart - Chukwuba Chiluba - Literature - Nairaland

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She Slept In The Kitchen And Won My Heart - Chukwuba Chiluba by Godmother(f): 5:56pm On Jul 16, 2016
I saw this on facebook few days back and it made my day. The response to it were so hilarious that I was laughing for hours. Chai cheesy

[b] SHE SLEPT IN THE KITCHEN AND WON MY HEART..

The testimony of Mr John chikezie and his wife...
.
my name Is John chikezie and I was born in abject poverty.
my father worked for the Nigerian Railway but was retrenched after 10years of his services without pension.
my mother being the virtuous woman that she was took up the responsibilitie´┐╝s, and when things got worse we relocated to the village where my father was rendered totally useless by household enemies , principalities and powers.
He would come home drunk only to start beating my mother, stripping her naked in front of us,
the children.
My mother being a woman of virtue never uttered a word of complaint nor raised her hands against my father.
You see one thing with you young ladies is that you don't keep your mouth shut and endure, young ladies are not aware that marriage is a parcel and whatever you see in it you take it like that.
I must really applaud my mother for making me realize that there are indeed patient and loving women in the world.
While my father was busy being the village drunk, my mother was busy raising us well and of course in the way of the lord.
.
I got into the university and after four years I graduated with a good result, I did my NYSC in Lagos where I was exposed to evil social vices and Lagos girls who were only after a man's destiny.
it was so sad that I broke my celibacy vow and lost my innocence to a lady of the night at ikeja, from whom I contracted gonorrhea, it took me a year to treat this punishment for the sins of the flesh , after I was done with my service it was hard securing a job, but thank God for Rev Ndubuisi who revealed to me that it was the lady of the night that was working against me , I was delivered and redeemed .
After my deliverance I cried at the feet of Our Lady Fatima and on that spot I renewed my celibacy vow.
In 2005 I got a job that I excelled in and was promoted as the area manager ,I didn't want to work for someone, so when I saved enough money I established my own business which became successful after two years.
.
In 2008 I decided it was time for me to settle down (marry) .
I had already built and furnished my house but still stayed in my one room apartment, I didn't want a woman who would love me for my money.
.
I met my wife in December, she was a chorister, shy and dark-skinned, she reminded me of my mother but I wanted to be sure so I began my test...
.
the first test was when I shouted at her In public, she kept quiet and the next day came to me seeking for peace even though I was clearly the one at fault.
She had passed the "character test "
.
the second test was when I gave her a thousand naira (1000) to cook my favorite soup, do you know that she cooked a wonderful soup with that mediocre amount of money.
She had passed the "Cooking and Managerial test"
.
I couldn't believe it!
she was just too much!
.
I went into my prayer closet
where the final test was revealed to me..
.
.
.
I asked her to move into my apartment....
.
she was hesitant at first
but complied later

.
do you know that all through her stay in my house she slept in the kitchen ..
.
for one-week she slept there on the ground...
.
I became sure that she was the one...
.
she had passed the " Fornication test "...
.
.
on the last day of her night in the kitchen
by 12am I lifted her
and said
"philo"
"philo"
"philo"
"you are my wife "
and that was it!
.
after a few weeks I married her...
even though she wasn't a virgin.
.
I'm glad[/b]





Update: The story is actually a fiction by Chukwuba Chiluba.

272 Likes 35 Shares

Re: She Slept In The Kitchen And Won My Heart - Chukwuba Chiluba by Topccy007: 6:01pm On Jul 16, 2016
I need to sleep in the toilet to win this stubborn lady's heart. Who has a clean toilet pls??

22 Likes 1 Share

Re: She Slept In The Kitchen And Won My Heart - Chukwuba Chiluba by Omotayor123(f): 6:01pm On Jul 16, 2016
Oh my Gosh shocked!!!
The final test is ridiculous. You asked her to move into Your house And she complied shocked she then went ahead to sleep in the kitchen. So you think she is a Wife Material....

Pretence of Life!!! Bro. Sorry But Your mumu no get Part 2. undecided

She go soon show you her real face!

428 Likes 24 Shares

Re: She Slept In The Kitchen And Won My Heart - Chukwuba Chiluba by Topccy007: 6:02pm On Jul 16, 2016
Ok

1 Like 2 Shares

Re: She Slept In The Kitchen And Won My Heart - Chukwuba Chiluba by eme1n(m): 6:12pm On Jul 16, 2016
You enter one chance! Don't test people and think you've achieved greatness..

520 Likes 28 Shares

Re: She Slept In The Kitchen And Won My Heart - Chukwuba Chiluba by Mopricelezz(f): 6:28pm On Jul 16, 2016

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: She Slept In The Kitchen And Won My Heart - Chukwuba Chiluba by Godmother(f): 6:33pm On Jul 16, 2016
eme1n:
You enter one chance! Don't test people and think you've achieved greatness..

As in ehn! I wish I could see the part two of this story. This lady is obviously pretending and will soo show this guy

238 Likes 12 Shares

Re: She Slept In The Kitchen And Won My Heart - Chukwuba Chiluba by byvan03: 6:51pm On Jul 16, 2016
Mmmmttcvhhwwe! Wimp ended up like his father. I I doubt any girl with functional faculty will pass your dirty kitchen and sleeping on bare floor test .

283 Likes 14 Shares

Re: She Slept In The Kitchen And Won My Heart - Chukwuba Chiluba by Nobody: 7:03pm On Jul 16, 2016
So which test did the man pass that he thinks makes him deserving of the girl?

People setting unnecessary tests since the day Eve gave Adam apple to eat.

370 Likes 21 Shares

Re: She Slept In The Kitchen And Won My Heart - Chukwuba Chiluba by Godmother(f): 7:28pm On Jul 16, 2016
Ioannes:
So which test did the man pass that he thinks makes him deserving of the girl?

People setting unnecessary tests since the day Eve gave Adam apple to eat.

Lolz. Same question a lot of people asked in the comment section. This guy is truly his father's son.

89 Likes 8 Shares

Re: She Slept In The Kitchen And Won My Heart - Chukwuba Chiluba by Nobody: 7:32pm On Jul 16, 2016
Godmother:


Lolz. Same question a lot of people asked in the comment section. This guy is truly his father's son.

...and unfortunately he doesn't even know it.

86 Likes 7 Shares

Re: She Slept In The Kitchen And Won My Heart - Chukwuba Chiluba by Duchessree(f): 7:47pm On Jul 16, 2016
lolz @ lagos girls who were only after a man's destiny . . . . something must be wrong with the man

66 Likes 4 Shares

Re: She Slept In The Kitchen And Won My Heart - Chukwuba Chiluba by Nezzel(f): 7:53pm On Jul 16, 2016
byvan03:
Mmmmttcvhhwwe! Wimp ended up like his father. I I doubt any girl with functional faculty will pass your dirty kitchen and sleeping on bare floor test .

Hahahaha.. You cracked me up.. As in eh, odiegwu..

29 Likes 3 Shares

Re: She Slept In The Kitchen And Won My Heart - Chukwuba Chiluba by byvan03: 8:10pm On Jul 16, 2016
Nezzel:


Hahahaha.. You cracked me up.. As in eh, odiegwu..


E no get rubbish wey person no go read here.

34 Likes 4 Shares

Re: She Slept In The Kitchen And Won My Heart - Chukwuba Chiluba by greatgod2012(f): 8:29pm On Jul 16, 2016
True son of his father!!!

You mean you allowed the woman you claim you love so much, who passed your "character and cooking/home management" tests excellently to sleep on bare ground in your kitchen for good one week because you're testing testing What a love What a lover How many tests did she conduct for you and how many did you pass excellently like her, abi na only woman dey inside marriage ni. Women don suffer!


MAY MY DAUGHTER NEVER MEET YOUR TYPE OF LOVER IN JESUS NAME. Amen.



MAY MY SONS NEVER SUBJECT HIS FELLOW HUMAN BEING TO THIS TYPE OF RIDICULOUS TESTS AND ALSO NOT BE YOUR TYPE OF LOVER IN JESUS NAME. Amen.


Hian.........nothing wey person no go read for here.

375 Likes 31 Shares

Re: She Slept In The Kitchen And Won My Heart - Chukwuba Chiluba by HaneefahRN(f): 8:41pm On Jul 16, 2016
Nonsense. When you are not the only guy remaining on Earth. Crazy selfish guy, he doesn't care if he is worth her, but subjects someone else to silly tests.
He will most likely take his abusive father's path.
I hope the lady is pretending, so she'll show the werey pepper.



If this story is true then this is another problem with staying in an abusive marriage, see how demented the guy is? He thinks what his father did was normal and expects women to endure it like his mother did, any woman who doesn't is bad.

188 Likes 8 Shares

Re: She Slept In The Kitchen And Won My Heart - Chukwuba Chiluba by edwife(f): 9:07pm On Jul 16, 2016
The moment you shout at me in public, don't look forward to the next morning....astalavista baby

100 Likes 1 Share

Re: She Slept In The Kitchen And Won My Heart - Chukwuba Chiluba by Helivesinme73(f): 9:24pm On Jul 16, 2016
where went her virginity?

71 Likes 1 Share

Re: She Slept In The Kitchen And Won My Heart - Chukwuba Chiluba by Prettiepearlz(f): 12:44am On Jul 17, 2016
The man is just a selfish and a traditional person. From his post in his opinion he feels a woman should stay and endure all sorts of beatings because his mum did. Who ever disgraces himself by shouting at his fiance├ę in public all in the name of testing her perseverance? What silly test is that? undecided
Who ever makes his girlfriend sleep on the bare floor in the kitchen all in the name of conducting a test and avoiding fornication? He isn't a disciplined man because if he is, they would have both shared a bed and nothing would have happened because he is proving to be holy with his "holier than thou" attitude undecided
I just hope he comes back to tell the second part of the story when she starts dealing with him. Asshole undecided
*Modified*
Besides why is the pressure always on a woman to make a union work? Is it only the woman that determines if a marriage is gonna work? I just tire for this our society oooooo

116 Likes 12 Shares

Re: She Slept In The Kitchen And Won My Heart - Chukwuba Chiluba by JustHere2Observ(f): 1:36am On Jul 17, 2016
Why is this very funny to me? Lmao.

10 Likes 2 Shares

Re: She Slept In The Kitchen And Won My Heart - Chukwuba Chiluba by Nobody: 2:56am On Jul 17, 2016
Useless man. He can't sleep in d kitchen. I'm pretty sure d girl is a retired but not tired olosho, calmly waiting for ur misogynistic **s to put a ring on it. Bros, u will soon know that pepper is not good for powder.

63 Likes 2 Shares

Re: She Slept In The Kitchen And Won My Heart - Chukwuba Chiluba by MrMcJay(m): 3:49am On Jul 17, 2016
Ogbanje dey do promo and my guyman don buy market.

Don't worry. Her test for you is coming after marriage. Touch her like your father and she'll use better slap to reset your destiny. She'll slap you so hard that your Dad would shout in the village.

184 Likes 12 Shares

Re: She Slept In The Kitchen And Won My Heart - Chukwuba Chiluba by Nobody: 3:51am On Jul 17, 2016
He yelled at her in public....and she apologised

She (Philo) slept on his kitchen floor....and she passed his test

She is a chorister a.k.a a church goer.....and she moved in with him even before he made their relationship official.

Both Philo and her husband are Cotonou bred monekysss

141 Likes 6 Shares

Re: She Slept In The Kitchen And Won My Heart - Chukwuba Chiluba by Neverquit(f): 6:09am On Jul 17, 2016
WOMEN (and some men), this is the result of staying in abusive marriage.

The guy is truly demented. How can you watch while the person you love (or claim to love) sleeps on a cold bare ground while you sleep comfortably in a bed? Or disrespect her in public?

We women too should have self respect.

60 Likes 2 Shares

Re: She Slept In The Kitchen And Won My Heart - Chukwuba Chiluba by nnamdibig(m): 6:51am On Jul 17, 2016
Even God said you should not put him to test. I pity anybody that will try to test me, I will so so fail the stupid test.

31 Likes 1 Share

Re: She Slept In The Kitchen And Won My Heart - Chukwuba Chiluba by cococandy(f): 8:23am On Jul 17, 2016
The test was not complete.

He should have become the city drunk and strip her unclad in public. If she stayed like his mother did, then the test would have been complete. She'd be the perfect virtuous enduring wife.

Sick families raising sick children.

148 Likes 14 Shares

Re: She Slept In The Kitchen And Won My Heart - Chukwuba Chiluba by EfemenaXY: 8:53am On Jul 17, 2016
cococandy:
The test was not complete.

He should have become the city drunk and strip her unclad in public. If she stayed like his mother did, then the test would have been complete. She'd be the perfect virtuous enduring wife.

Sick families raising sick children.

LMAO!!

Word! cheesy

49 Likes 1 Share

Re: She Slept In The Kitchen And Won My Heart - Chukwuba Chiluba by prety86: 2:27pm On Jul 17, 2016
The story of philo,the stupid woman.

80 Likes

Re: She Slept In The Kitchen And Won My Heart - Chukwuba Chiluba by EfemenaXY: 2:35pm On Jul 17, 2016
prety86:
The story of philo,the stupid woman.

2016 Revised Edition. grin

73 Likes 1 Share

Re: She Slept In The Kitchen And Won My Heart - Chukwuba Chiluba by bukatyne(f): 3:06pm On Jul 17, 2016
Advantages of breeding children in a dysfunctional family cheesy

How would John have gotten a wife otherwise?

31 Likes

Re: She Slept In The Kitchen And Won My Heart - Chukwuba Chiluba by abimbawealth(f): 3:31pm On Jul 17, 2016
Huh undecided

3 Likes

Re: She Slept In The Kitchen And Won My Heart - Chukwuba Chiluba by bebe2(f): 5:59pm On Jul 17, 2016
Read the first paragraph and realised it wasnt worth my time.

20 Likes 1 Share

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