Wad up landers, just want to drop a tinny winny bit of ma self and ma guys. Would love comments and pointers.bashing allowed. I will be updating once every night. Thank you,sit tight

I was chewing my pen incessantly as if I hadn’t ingested any thing in days. I looked up at the beautifully patterned ceiling, it stared back at me gloomily as if saying ‘,ogbeni jadanu joor,’ I hurled abysmal curses under my breath to no one in particular, shit i was sweating all over like a lamb to slaughter. I looked around stylishly hoping no one saw me make dem no tag me mad. I frowned and shifted my ever wandering attention else where. My thoughts drifted wildly to the previous after noon, damn nnn ! it was frigging awkward and I was utterly embarrassed by my actions, I expelled too soon .I for don use the burantashi wey ahmed gimme earlier that day, but I was scared of having penile disorder,I am very conscious of what I ingest. I can bet that grace wont grace my door step again, shey the gurl wey look me for eye com give me a long venomous hiss capable of scaring a cobra away. Well, I didn’t expect her to come back after all the mouth wey I don make and eventually bleeped up. i consoled my self at the thought of me seeing a clean shaven and nice smelling vjay jay for the first time, chaiii who would have thought. she was kuku out of ma league before.. psssssttt,’ jadoskiiii, jadoskiiiii’ I was jolted out of my sexual epiphany by my guy ‘ogbono’. Jadoski oloshi ni e ni,’ ma je ki aiye mi baje bayi naw ( don’t let my life spoil this way naw) , ‘odeee she o mo pe aiye e ti run tele ni, olofo, oniranu,’* ( don’t u knw that ur life is spoilt already)*I gave a sharp stinger. abeg wetin be that number three answer abeggi‘, ogbono my guy skillful asked me under the hawk eye of mr lamba the invigilator. Omo I no sabi am o” u see say na ceiling me sef dey look, ask ahmed naw. ‘, him no sabi am too, the answer no dey inside the chips,’ he replied despondently. Omo See gbegeee.

Prior to the exam I, slow five, ogbono, benz and ahmed don arrange special formation way we go take siddon for inside the exam hall, it was awa final paper, I no fit allow any thing apen to my grades, shey cgpa wey don dey drown before make e no kuku flood away, I was the chief tactician. Shey for this naija economy wey bad aw I wan take see job if I comot wit 3rd class, make I just kuku struggle comot wit second class lower by hook or crook means.. each one of us had his duty clearly planned out. Ahmed don write the chips adroitly on a small piece of paper, he fitted it perfectly in his belt hole, he was the point man of the attack, na him get mind pass. Ogbono and slow five will be sitting directly behind him. ogbono na complete tout without common sense, he can throw a tantrum if not placed closer to the main source. He once tore and slapped a lower level student’s script when the guy refused to show him his script to dub. Ogbono’s extra 2 years stand gidigba, e sure pass ashewo toto, im cgpa no fit flash any mtn number; A nonentity and a nonchalant fellow but extremely lively and loyal. Me and benz wey sabi small go dey receive from front at the same time dey give to the front. It was a perfect plan, a triangular formation that was bound to go horribly wrong, arsene wenger style.

The following morning, we were ready for the exam, after practicising awa formation several times we bounced out of awa hostel brimming with confidence to school. ‘,Any thing wey e take na im we go give am today’, ahmed said as he tucked the chips in properly whilst we walked to the examination hall. Slow five was reeking of alcohol as usual, he doesn’t talk much, but his drinking habit is baffling. He drinks colossally at any given opportunity. We knew the slow poke when we were in 300level in his 2nd extra year, some times we call him vc(vice chancellor) as the guy don see three different vice chancellors come and go.he is the last of the group. He celebrated his 29th birthday the previous week and he bought 2 crates of gulder for us after several wyning and cajoling, the guy stingy die. the idiot had already finished a 3rd of the crate while we were still battling with awa first bottle. He is always slow, to act, talk and in virtually every thing he does he is slow, you cant blame him, when the idiot is always high. How one person go take drink one bottle of ak 47 finish before examination, dis guy is an accident waiting to apen. He was the weak point of the attack, the dude no sharp atal, but his calmness whether drug and alcohol induced is his positive side.

As we got closer to the hall we could sense the tension brewing, we couldn’t even gist about awa sexual excapades the previous day. We couldn’t admit it but we were scared. Though this is not awa first time doing this but the big occasion of which it is, awa last paper, well except for ogbono. As we got to the hall we gathered together and went thru the plan again to be sure every one was on the same page. I addressed my g’s once again ,’No asking of questions in the first 30mins of starting the exam, no looking around anyhow wen any invigilator is close by’, . ,’I wan go shit ,’I was interrupted by slow five. Shey na now shit dey do you, ogbeni enter insyd jare, i blasted forgetting he is way older than i am, he cowered dejectly.the dude was still obviously high. Benz called me aside and we went over the little thing we read. We all entered and took awa different positions, won ma gba le ni. Thank you. Updates shortly.

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