Feeling unable to resist the urge to lust after a person -- or a lot of people? Overcoming lust is a personal choice to make; it's not something that can be imposed upon you or that you can simply switch off. Rather, you'll need to work at a result that distracts, replaces, or softens your lustful thoughts. Here are some approaches that might work for you.


1. Stop tempting yourself. Learn to stop seeking out things which make you lustful. This mainly means training yourself to fight the temptations of pornography but it can also mean not going to movies or avoiding driving on certain parts of the highways. This is difficult, but lustful habits are just like any other bad habit and can be broken. Be persistent!

2. Learn respect for yourself and others. If you allow lust to be the driver in your daily relations with others, then you're not connecting fully with yourself. You are allowing your bodily desires to determine who you are and how you behave, rather than letting your mind and personality do some of the thinking. Similarly, you are not respecting them by viewing them in this lustful way. If you truly have feelings for them, you will work hard to fight these feelings and do right by them (and yourself!).

3. Avoid drugs and alcohol. Drugs and alcohol remove your inhibitions, making it harder for you to fight lustful feelings. If you partake in these, stop. It will really help a lot! You can still go out to bars with friends, just ask to drink any soft drink or apple juice instead (both look like alcohol, so you won't feel awkward).

4. Acknowledge your needs. Most holy books acknowledge that sexual desire is normal, so don't feel bad about having sexual needs. Acknowledge them, because not doing so can create a very unhealthy mentality and make those feelings even stronger! Let yourself feel sexual feelings but do not act on them.

5. Look for alternative philosophies. There are lots of different kinds of lust and lots of different ways of looking at lust. Now, if your lust is causing or may cause someone else physical harm, then yes, it is a problem that needs to be dealt with. However, if your sexual feelings are released between two consenting adults, that may be okay. Sexual feelings are natural, and if your concern with them is only based in your religious teachings, it may be time to further explore other religious teachings. Different sects will take very different positions on the matter.

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Sure it's natural to look, but you must not go after all you look (just one)