Bayo Adeyinka
Angry Letter To The Nigerian Youth (4): Please Marry A Lazy
Woman By Bayo Adeyinka
Dear Nigerian Youth,
Twice this week, God spoke to you but you were deaf. You
missed the message totally. Not only did you miss the
message, you put up the twin messengers on the cross and
you are dealing them with the worst kind of blows. In your
follow-the-herd mentality that has afflicted your generation,
you have only succeeded in demonstrating your crass
ignorance and the reason why you may never be taken
seriously. Coincidentally, both messengers are old men but
you mock them. You may have new clothes even more than
the aged but you can never have rags like them. Their ragged
experience is by far better than your new age wisdom.
The first messenger brought a series of messages. He gave
some pieces of advice to a generation that is wise in its own
sight. A harmless advice has now been turned over its head.
How come this generation always end up making simple things
complex? How come this generation always major on minors
and minor on majors? Don't marry a lazy woman, he said.
Don't marry a woman who cannot pray for one hour. Most of
you are products of prayer but you come online to mock
because it feels right to do so. Instead of lending your ears,
you say the mouth of an elder is smelling. Just how did you
think the elderly got their sunken eyes? It's because of what
they have seen and experienced. As for you, you're like a dog
destined to be lost and you're deaf to the whistle of the
hunter.
You know what? Go ahead with your schemes. Marry a lazy
woman. It is within your rights. Go for a couch potato. We
are in the modern world. As long as she can apply good
make-up, wear designer shoes and sun-glasses and update
her status on Facebook while twerking regularly, that's all the
qualifications she needs to get Mr Right. Who cares if she can
do the dishes when there's a dish-washer? Who cares if she
can make her own bed when she can hire a domestic help?
Who cares if she can cook when Domino Pizza is still selling
their franchise all over the nation? As for you modern lady,
young men care more about how good you look than how well
you cook! They will rather discuss your Peruvian and
Malaysian weave-on than Italian cuisine. If they are hungry,
they can go to their mothers- or help themselves. Whoever
said the way to a man's heart is through his stomach has
never met the 21st Century man.
And as for prayers, marry a lady that will take your problems
to Agony Aunt. Taking them to the Lord in prayers is so old-
school we don't even sing the song in church again. Your
knees are so delicate you shouldn't even kneel down before
God. Marry a woman who will rush to update your situation
on Instagram instead of updating God instantly. Don't be
bothered that she can't pray for one hour- as long as she
can watch the whole series of Lekki Wives in one fell swoop,
you're good to go. Prayer is so outdated. Making long
prayers is so so outdated. What will she do when challenges
of life come? So easy- she will twerk at them. The devil hates
twerking and can't stand it. A family that twerks together
stays together. Marry a woman who has tweeter handles but
handles nothing else. We are trying to save your chicken from
impending death but it's still hell bent on going to the refuse
dump for its meal. What an elder sees while sitting, a young
man can never see even if he stands. Bae, you can spend one
hour applying concealer, mascara and lipstick on your face
that you can't carry for twenty four hours but you can't
spend one hour praying for a home that you hope to sustain
as long as you live. In the voice of Lagbaja, "mo sorry fun
gbogbo yin o, mo sorry fun gbogbo yin lo kokan".
Hey girl, marry a man that is jobless. Marry a man who can
take off his shirt but can't take out the thrash. A perfectly
toned man is better than a perfectly toned wallet. A man with
six packs is better than a man with six figures. Romance is
better than finance. Marry a man who has no ambition and
has no clue about where he is going in life. Marry a man who
lives on you and feeds off you. Marry a man whose only
property is what is within his trousers. As you lay your bed,
so you will lie on it. Silly working girl, hear me: love is blind
but marriage is an eye-opener. Your eyes 'will soon clear'. No
one tells a blind man that the market is over. If he cannot
see, at least he is not deaf. Marriage is hard work, if you
don't know. Too much of Kim Kardashian has robbed you of
reality. Marriage is not Indian film.
You think the guy loves you when all he loves is your wallet.
In the words of the elder who should know, "Even if he says
he's a contractor, ask him to show you evidence of the
contracts he has done because you may just be the
contract". When you cry eventually, no one will be there to
comfort you. I trust your fellow ladies: they will even laugh at
your misfortune. You know women are the enemies of women.
You will think you are trending but all they do is to help you
trend your misfortune on social media. Is it any wonder your
parents could hold a marriage together for 50 years but you
can't even hold yourself together? The values they hold so
dear have been devalued by you. Now, you're of no value.
By the way, what's your own issue with the dressing
instruction a man gives to his employees? If I tell my staff I
don't want tattoos, how come that is now your headache? He
said his employees should not wear beards- how has that
become your concern? Your joblessness is a major cause of
worry.
And then there's the second 83-year old elder who was sent
as a message of sorts to you. In my side of the country
there is something called 'aroko'. Aroko is a form of
communication which is usually non-verbal. The 83-year old
man that you derided so much for being made the Chairman
of a parastatal was a message sent to you. Instead of
burying your heads in shame and covering yourselves in sack
clothes and ashes, you are demonstrating the only thing you
excel at doing- internet hooliganism. You should be worried
that very few people in your generation have been found
worthy of holding such a position on trust. The few times you
have been given this kind of opportunity, you have proven to
be worse than the geriatrics you complained about. Your
generation inspires no confidence and engenders no trust. The
stealing appetite of a man supposedly at the departure
lounge is restrained while your own is uncontrolled.
Generations before you stole in millions but you steal in
billions. Generations before you kept stolen money in Swiss
accounts but you keep yours in Panama. Your generation
only knows how to wear t-shirts and carry placards. Your
generation only knows how to hurl insults on Facebook. Your
generation has no fresh ideas. The best of your generation is
one Dino who may soon become your President. You laugh?
While you're wasting your time using your scarce resources to
buy internet data to fight over him, he's making himself
relevant. Hardly does a day go by without a discussion about
him. While you remain anonymous, he is always in the
limelight.
Sit down and think. Stop in your tracks for a while and have a
time of deep reflection. Consider these two messengers and
their messages. Life does not discriminate. You need to face
it fair and square. You have a lot of growing up to do. You
are way behind in the scheme of things. Life has left you
behind. There is a lot of catching up to do.
I'm afraid for you.

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I think most youth are rebelling against organised religion. personally I concur with his advise. I don't adore any religious leader including the pope.