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What Should I Do As The First Born? - Romance - Nairaland

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What Should I Do As The First Born? by StrongandMighty: 1:36pm On Aug 07, 2016
My sister got married 3 years ago to her husband who happened to be at that time a very humble, intelligent and respectful man, who has a purpose in life, who loved and cared for his wife so much to the extent that his wife always comes first in whatever he does. They were such a perfect couple.

To the best of my knowledge, it all began early January this year when my sister's husband allowed his distant maternal cousin (female) who's about the same age with my sister to come and live with them who according to him got an admission in one of the tertiary institution in the town they are living which my sister out rightly rejected owing to the fact she's already living with another one of her husband's maternal cousin too (Male) but her husband refused insisting that she must live with them, that being the case my sister obliged in other to avoid problem. Meanwhile, the first born of my sister's husband knowing the danger that may arise strongly advised his brother against allowing that girl to leave with them even gave the said girl a huge amount of money to pay for an accommodation elsewhere, still my sister's husband insisted that the girl must live with them and that she will use the money for some other things. Meanwhile my sister's mother in law is in support of the girl living with them.

*fast forward *
Now the problem is my sister's husband insults my sister nd rain abuses on her on any wrong thing the girl living with them does..... Who does that? Not even minding that she's the same age with his wife, my sister.
Whatever happens in the house if the girl denies den it's definitely my sister that did it.
The first time he beat my sister because of the girl I thought maybe he wasn't in his right senses.... He even went ahead to tell my sister that he will kill her nd nobody will come after him not even the government, I was reli shocked wen I heard that.

Now couple of days ago he beat my sister again becuz of the same girl and insulted my family again to the extent he used his car and splashed dirty water all over my sister... He even told my sister not to discuss their family issues with my mum again while his own mother is the one that detects for him. I don't wanna think she's having an affair with the girl.
Please nairalanders what should I do in this situation am thinking of paying up gangs to go and teach the man the lesson of his life.... Meanwhile am just 21 and in 300L, am confused and saddened.
Your matured advice Wil b highly appreciated.
Bashing is allowed cux in every nonsense there is a sense in it.
Re: What Should I Do As The First Born? by herzern(m): 1:38pm On Aug 07, 2016
My Cousin's uncle younger brother....

My daddy's cousin daughter's son....




Am i the only one who couldnt comprehend??

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Re: What Should I Do As The First Born? by gunpoint(m): 1:41pm On Aug 07, 2016
Kontinu
Your gist is sweeting me kiss

Re: What Should I Do As The First Born? by ronald4lif(m): 1:44pm On Aug 07, 2016
Why not take out your sis from the house instead of assaulting him. Any attack on him will speed up the 'killing' of your sister as vowed by him. Quitting or separating from the marriage until they come to a common ground about the sister's continued staying in their home will solve the issue.

Nigerian women would rather die in a marriage for fear of societal stigmatisation and gossips than quit it.

4 Likes

Re: What Should I Do As The First Born? by YoungTrouble(m): 1:45pm On Aug 07, 2016
I can't tolerate any man beating my sister just because of marriage. Your sister deserves respect from her husband because in marriage 1+1=1.I hope her husband is not doing all this because of the benefits he is deriving from his so called female cousin. Try to talk sense to him man on man. If it doesn't work you can send the Awon Weyrey crew cheesy
Re: What Should I Do As The First Born? by StrongandMighty: 1:46pm On Aug 07, 2016
herzern:
My Cousin's uncle younger brother....

My daddy's cousin daughter's son....




Am i the only one who couldnt comprehend??
Your matured advice Wil be highly appreciated tnkz
Re: What Should I Do As The First Born? by StrongandMighty: 1:47pm On Aug 07, 2016
ronald4lif:
Why not take out your sis from the house instead of assaulting him. Any attack on him will speed up the 'killing' of your sister as vowed by him. Quitting or separating from the marriage until they come to a common ground about the sister's continued staying in their home will solve the issue.

Nigerian women would rather die in a marriage for fear of societal stigmatisation and gossips than quit it.
Thanks brother.... Only if she'll listen to me
Re: What Should I Do As The First Born? by StrongandMighty: 1:48pm On Aug 07, 2016
YoungTrouble:
I can't tolerate any man beating my sister just because of marriage. Your sister deserves respect from her husband because in marriage 1+1=1.I hope her husband is not doing all this because of the benefits he is deriving from his so called female cousin. Try to talk sense to him man on man. If it doesn't work you can send the Awon Weyrey crew cheesy
Thanks so much.... I'll think about it
Re: What Should I Do As The First Born? by YoungTrouble(m): 1:51pm On Aug 07, 2016
StrongandMighty:

Thanks so much.... I'll think about it
No problem, I had to put myself in your shoes and I felt your pain.The sooner you talk to him the better.
Re: What Should I Do As The First Born? by FreeSpirited: 2:16pm On Aug 07, 2016
The longevity of that marriage is on the line. Marital abuse at this early stage of the marriage is not a good omen. If she hasn't given birth yet, let her consider her future and how long she would have to tolerate the beatings......

Its better she separate from him until they can work things out. If not , the husband will want to believe he's doing the right thing by beating her and the cycle might never end.

She needs to leave the house on grounds of marital abuse cos she's still young before its too late. or report to a human right lawyer

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Re: What Should I Do As The First Born? by ojun50(m): 2:43pm On Aug 07, 2016
I think befor u take any decision u should first discuss with yr sister if she will continue leaving like dis till d girl nd his mum leave d house or if she will take a break till the man sence come back to the right track.
Re: What Should I Do As The First Born? by StrongandMighty: 3:49pm On Aug 07, 2016
FreeSpirited:
The longevity of that marriage is on the line. Marital abuse at this early stage of the marriage is not a good omen. If she hasn't given birth yet, let her consider her future and how long she would have to tolerate the beatings......

Its better she separate from him until they can work things out. If not , the husband will want to believe he's doing the right thing by beating her and the cycle might never end.

She needs to leave the house on grounds of marital abuse cos she's still young before its too late. or report to a human right lawyer
Tnkz but Will reporting to a human right lawyer help matters?
Re: What Should I Do As The First Born? by StrongandMighty: 3:50pm On Aug 07, 2016
ojun50:
I think befor u take any decision u should first discuss with yr sister if she will continue leaving like dis till d girl nd his mum leave d house or if she will take a break till the man sence come back to the right track.
I appreciate, but Wat exactly do u mean by taking a break?
Re: What Should I Do As The First Born? by NemzySeries(m): 5:51pm On Aug 07, 2016
truth b told...... Derz a new pv55y in town(house) & ur inlaw finds it more appealing dan ur sister's
Re: What Should I Do As The First Born? by eitsei(m): 6:05pm On Aug 07, 2016
I don't know what to say but I'll advice your sister not to stay in an abusive marriage, she should stay away from him for a while till they resolve the issues and probably report to an human rights lawyer as been advised by some people above.


Thank God I don't have a sister I don't know what I will do to any man that physically abuses my sister all in the name of marriage... If the abuse persists I'll suggest you teach him a lesson
Re: What Should I Do As The First Born? by ojun50(m): 6:19pm On Aug 07, 2016
StrongandMighty:

I appreciate, but Wat exactly do u mean by taking a break?
she jst need to leave that home for mean time
Re: What Should I Do As The First Born? by MadeOfBlaq(m): 6:43pm On Aug 07, 2016
If u are 21,and the first born.how old is ur sister
Re: What Should I Do As The First Born? by StrongandMighty: 8:44pm On Aug 07, 2016
eitsei:
I don't know what to say but I'll advice your sister not to stay in an abusive marriage, she should stay away from him for a while till they resolve the issues and probably report to an human rights lawyer as been advised by some people above.


Thank God I don't have a sister I don't know what I will do to any man that physically abuses my sister all in the name of marriage... If the abuse persists I'll suggest you teach him a lesson
Thanks....
Re: What Should I Do As The First Born? by StrongandMighty: 8:45pm On Aug 07, 2016
NemzySeries:
truth b told...... Derz a new pv55y in town(house) & ur inlaw finds it more appealing dan ur sister's
I don't wanna blive dat
Re: What Should I Do As The First Born? by StrongandMighty: 8:47pm On Aug 07, 2016
ojun50:
she jst need to leave that home for mean time
Ok
Re: What Should I Do As The First Born? by Lovelynature(m): 8:50pm On Aug 07, 2016
Talk to the husband and watch his reaction. If he doesn't change advise your sister to leave that marriage for some time. He will definitely miss her when he comes back to his senses.

Life is important. Her life first before her marriage
Re: What Should I Do As The First Born? by olive282(f): 9:00pm On Aug 07, 2016
Stories lik dz jst maks marriage scary to me
Re: What Should I Do As The First Born? by StrongandMighty: 9:52pm On Aug 07, 2016
olive282:
Stories lik dz jst maks marriage scary to me
Wats ur advice please
Re: What Should I Do As The First Born? by StrongandMighty: 9:55pm On Aug 07, 2016
Lovelynature:
Talk to the husband and watch his reaction. If he doesn't change advise your sister to leave that marriage for some time. He will definitely miss her when he comes back to his senses.

Life is important. Her life first before her marriage
Do u think she'll listen 2 me
Re: What Should I Do As The First Born? by Lovelynature(m): 10:02pm On Aug 07, 2016
StrongandMighty:

Do u think she'll listen 2 me
Talk to her first. Find a mature way to advise her one on one. I think she would listen to you
Re: What Should I Do As The First Born? by olive282(f): 10:05pm On Aug 07, 2016
StrongandMighty:

Wats ur advice please


i advice she leaves d house for a while...u callin touts on him myt go wrong ...nd 2 wrongs cnt mk a right...tok to him abt d issue...if he doesnt tk u serz...den tk ur sis away from him.....wen he wants his wife bk..den u guys cn settle nd gv him a condition...wish u luck dear
Re: What Should I Do As The First Born? by Nobody: 10:24pm On Aug 07, 2016
Marriage could b so scaring sometimes,,,,,,,


Dove in the morning,,,,,,,Dog in the night.

Some hubby/wives could bark life out of u. I pity ur sister, bt I tink d situatn requires PRAYER. Ganging up against her hubby would jxt worsen d matter. Allow God 2 intervene.

Wishing her a peaceful home.
Re: What Should I Do As The First Born? by StrongandMighty: 10:38pm On Aug 07, 2016
olive282:



i advice she leaves d house for a while...u callin touts on him myt go wrong ...nd 2 wrongs cnt mk a right...tok to him abt d issue...if he doesnt tk u serz...den tk ur sis away from him.....wen he wants his wife bk..den u guys cn settle nd gv him a condition...wish u luck dear
Thnkz... I'll try nd talk 2 him, but I don't reli think he'll tk me serious, I want my action 2 speak volume
Re: What Should I Do As The First Born? by StrongandMighty: 10:40pm On Aug 07, 2016
Adegbenro7643:
Marriage could b so scaring sometimes,,,,,,,


Dove in the morning,,,,,,,Dog in the night.

Some hubby/wives could bark life out of u. I pity ur sister, bt I tink d situatn requires PRAYER. Ganging up against her hubby would jxt worsen d matter. Allow God 2 intervene.

Wishing her a peaceful home.
I know but I still have 2 do d best I can nd leave d rest 2 God
Re: What Should I Do As The First Born? by olive282(f): 10:48pm On Aug 07, 2016
StrongandMighty:

Thnkz... I'll try nd talk 2 him, but I don't reli think he'll tk me serious, I want my action 2 speak volume


Den u hv to bring ur sis bk home....we dnt knw d value of wat we hv til we lose it...if she aint around...he'l gt to knw d value of his wife...hopefully he'l come to hz senses after dat....
Re: What Should I Do As The First Born? by StrongandMighty: 10:55pm On Aug 07, 2016
olive282:



Den u hv to bring ur sis bk home....we dnt knw d value of wat we hv til we lose it...if she aint around...he'l gt to knw d value of his wife...hopefully he'l come to hz senses after dat....
How I wish my sister will see reasons with me.... I felt worthless 4 d first time in my life dat I couldn't do anything 4 my sister wen she needs me most.... She's my only sister.... The only sister I have
Re: What Should I Do As The First Born? by olive282(f): 11:02pm On Aug 07, 2016
StrongandMighty:

How I wish my sister will see reasons with me.... I felt worthless 4 d first time in my life dat I couldn't do anything 4 my sister wen she needs me most.... She's my only sister.... The only sister I have


Mayb u shuld gt ur parents involved...hv a family meetin or sumtn....dat gal has to go for peace to reign...besides de re one(husband nd wife)...d haux equally belongs to her nd she shuld hv a say....she's stil young nd lacks experience...de myt tk advantage of her....ur mom shuld advice her

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