5 SIGNS YOU ARE FAILING AS A MOTHER AND THE WAY OUT

Who is a mother and what's the role of a mother? A Mother is a female parent. A mother is the heart of the family, while father is the head.

Mothers nurture, care and teach the children at home. Mother teaches, especially the morals at home to her children.

Mother is the manager of a home. She manages the affairs of the home well and better. While father directs the affairs of the family.

Mothers and fathers are not in contest for anything, post or positions at home. In fact, they mustn't be. Both parents are one and they should work together as one for a common goal of producing children that will be useful to the community, make the nation proud and uplift the name of the family.

No matter what it is, though, fathers and mothers are one, each person must also have a specific role at home that can be linked to such individual if anything goes wrong in the long run.

The reason why fathers cannot be blamed if the children cannot do some basic house chores, is exactly the reason why mothers can't be blamed if school fees of the children aren't paid in time.

So, you see, though we are saying both the father and the mother are one, we can still see that they have their separate responsibilities.

What are the signs that are pointer to a mothers as not living up to expectations as home managers, moral teachers carers, trainers etc

Here let's see them:

1. If your children cannot do house chores
It will be a great disappointment for anybody to visit a home whose manager, (Mother) is still alive and breathing and the teenage girls in that house can't wash the dishes or cook good food.

Regardless of the standard of living in that home. It doesn't matter if they have house maids or they can't afford one. What really matters is that the children in that home must be able to handle some basic chores in that house. Male child is not left out in this requirement. But, most importantly, a girl child of 13 and above, who still resides in that home must be able to cook edible food for the family.

If the boys in that house too can cook well, it is a plus for the mother.

If this article is pointing to you in any way, it's not too late to make amends. Make sure your children always in the kitchen to see you cook or ask the maids to always show them he or she does it.

2. If your teenage boy is not warm or gentle around his sisters
This is another red sign that you are not doing enough as a mother. Your boys and girls must be happy being around each other. The focus here is on the male child.

If you have a male child, ma, that his sisters are not comfortable being around, it may mean you're not doing enough at the home front. We can't hold the father responsible for this, because naturally men are full of egos and have inferiority views about female folks.

Mothers must be on top of this matter and work on the male child in this situation be loving and gentle with not only his sisters but girls generally, the way the mother would have loved to enjoy such from a male folk.

If this paragraph is talking about your son, it's not too late yet. All you need to do is always sit him down for few minutes in a week and let him see why he needs to be a gentle man. Lions don't have friends but dogs are loved my many.

3. If your children don't have home etiquettes
This is another worst situation that no parents should pray to experience. Children that lack morals don't have home etiquette. You don't expect the father that has been on the road fending for the family to sit down at home teaching with the kids teaching them morals.

Another aspect of mothers role is teaching morals to the kids. Mothers are always good with children, no man can take that away. If you have visitors and your kids can't excuse you, it's your fault. Of your kids only bulge into people home without knocking, you will still be held responsible.

Considering the number of hours mums are expected to stay at home with the kids, you cannot but use the opportunity to teach them so, e good lessons about life. Your kids can't just shut you down because they want to express themselves and expect the father to carry the blame. No, he won't. The can't try that with him in the first place.

4. If your children don't respect and honour their father
This is the worst situation a home can experience. If the kids are disobedient to their Father in the house, the mother is to blame. There is no way any child can be bold to disobey the man of the house without the mother's support. Check it.

What will be any mother's gain if her children can mediate in whatever that may be going on at home between their parents, to the extent that the children are now rude to their father?

The fact that the father can't provide for the house doesn't mean the children can go against the fathers orders. If this is happening in your home, quickly caution the kids and rescue the situation.

5. If your children don't miss you when you're away
This sign shouldn't be joked with for any reason. Many people might have overlooked it in the time past but let me call your attention to it once and for all.

If you have teenagers that are still living under your roof and they don't care if you, their mother or their father is not always available, something is taking your place in their hearts and you must find that thing and kill it.

Children, no matter their age group, will care about their parents, especially their mothers. What can replace mothers love? If you play the mother's role the way it should, until your children get married they won't find a replacement.

If you think this doesn't count you are missing a big point here. If a woman had really assumed her mother's role in the lives of her children she'd be irreplaceable. If your children don't care about your presence as they ought to it's a red sign you are have failed them.

Source: www.olulinks.com

Number 5. The only reason why they don't miss you is because they experience too much negativity around the parents, for example; they are always shouting, nagging and beating their children. If you want them to miss you, you should reduce those negativity towards them or around them, unless they won't still miss their parents no matter what you do

So many flawed one-sided reasoning I'm seeing here. Why are Nigerian men so quick to throw darts at the opposite gender?

The reason why fathers cannot be blamed if the children cannot do some basic house chores, is exactly the reason why mothers can't be blamed if school fees of the children aren't paid in time.

It's both parents' responsibility to raise and provide for a child. You've not seen homes where the mother is the sole income earner or make the bulk of income? Who will pay the children's fees if not her? Also, It is not a crime against humanity if a man (working or not) assist with the chores and show the children how they're done.

You don't expect the father that has been on the road fending for the family to sit down at home teaching with the kids teaching them morals.

Mothers don't go out to work too abi? So a dad must not spend any quality time with his children and impart the much needed morals on them because he works.

Whatever a child turns out to be is as a result of joint effort from both parents or the single parent that raised him.

This is good but here is the thing...

1. A father's role is much more than paying school fees and other monetary things. He should join the mother and support her to train the kids. He definitely won't be around all the time, as you rightly said, but when he is around he should. This is an example as happened to me:

Daddy: (voice raised) is it not too early (past 11 am and I was through with my morning chores and it was a favorite program on a Saturday) to watch TV?

Me: I am through with my work

Daddy: and so? my friend, go and look for something to do.

By the following Saturday, my daddy added cleaning of the ceiling fan to my chores. Mind you this is with the constant, "do you know how to do this?" "do it this way" and so on. In all, I'm saying I learnt a lot from my dad.

2. Yes, manners, etiquettes and so on are our mothers' specialty but the fathers can also play a big role. Another example:

I was jus admitted into the uni and there was this this tight fitting style I got from a friend to sew. So I tried it on to show my mum and my father made sure he saw it on me. Yes he made sure because he was suppose to have finished his food and gone to his room but he stood there pretending to be picking his teeth. So reluctantly I entered the living room and he said, "there is a time in life when what you wear should give you personality and not the one that will make you look like one". Sharp sharp I returned the cloth. As a teenager, he never talked to me about my dressing and if he was disapproving this one it meant it was a wrong style.

What I am saying is the father must be present in his children's lives. These days, some mothers pay school fees and do all the things the men used to do. The world is no longer 'conservative' and in my opinion, raising and training the kids should not just be the mother's role. It should be a joint business.
All in all, the write up is good.

ENDORSED

Too much pressure on women; that's the reason why we have young, but old looking and worn own women everything.

If perhaps a male child isn't warm with his sisters, it doesn't matter if it's because he sees his daddy punching his mummy everyday. The fault remains hers to bear.

One thing I thank God for personally is the ability to let pressure role off my back. Not letting the world and people give me any stress with their useless expectations.

We have lost our reading culture. Thank you all for your contributions. But I'd have loved it that you take your time to read the intro before the body of the article, then you will know that the writer wasn't one sided. We are all learning though.

It's always d mother's dat takes d blame... both parent's ve dere role to play. U re right tho...

Complete balderdash except for the last point.

Who cares about anyone's opinion concerning my child and the way I choose to bring them up