tearoses:


Hmmmmmm
So you are saying that men have no self control when it comes to sex
You mean our daughters and sisters are not safe round a man
So we should be wary of male teachers, male doctors, being stopped by a male policemen on a dark night.....cos all he is thinking about will be sex
Oga 5minsmadness please give men some credit
You are making them sound like depraved animals

cococandy:
I'm not sure you read her post. If you did, then you have to agree that this is a tasteless comment. What are you really saying? That men can't help but assault people sexually because everything about you is sex?
In another context maybe one can try to see your point. But In this context where sexual assault is indicated, I don't know what meaning you expect readers to draw from this.

pls clarify.

macarena:
To the mature people in the house, pls help!

5minsmadness:
In fact, if we were to psychoanalyze this:

5minsmadness:


Hehehe.
I was about to respond pugnaciously then i saw the moniker.
No, i did not say men have no self control.
In fact, quite the opposite.
MEN ARE ALL ABOUT SELF CONTROL.
The base instinct of any man is sex. A man is called a gentleman by a woman because he doesnt ask for sex. A man is mature because he can control himself in sexual situations.
A man sees a woman he likes and no matter how intelligent she is upstairs... Its sex he is thinking about. He may mask it and play the nice guy, romantic guy, supportive guy, save a hoe (pls pardon my french) guy, the bottom line is, he's either giving himself reasons to have sex or not to have sex with the woman.

Its actually in response to Bukatyne's previous thread on what a man wants. I've been out of circulation for a while so it was the first thing that came to mind.


In fact the only reason you think they are not depraved animals is because they havent all asked you for sex

macarena:
He forced it on me.
I can never tell him the true state of how I feel cos he would laugh at me.
I have also asked for forgiveness but the things that happened yesterday felt like we had crossed the rubicon.
I am just too ashamed to face him

macarena:

And @5mins.madness, I am ashamed cos of everything he did and how powerless and violated I felt. He put his finger in me and that place still hurts somewhat, I've never had sèx before. He poured his spèrm on me and rubbed it on my face, taunting me in the process. And I just could not do anything. [size=16pt]When I fantasized about finally having sèx in the proper condition, it was never like this.[/size]

Be.llong made me laugh with his graphic description.


TV.01, are you a psychologist?
All your descriptions were so apt.
I never knew it was this bad. When you said I was on my way to becoming damaged, I started crying because its so true.
I've always looked at relationships through Mills and Boon coloured glasses. Passionate fights brought you closer than ever.
Naive me!


I will learn to love and forgive myself. Even though I find it hard, I'll go make friends.
I'll take it one day at a time.

crackhaus:

I refrained from logging in here last night on account of your topic, mostly because I felt and still feel your story is terribly disjointed... I also needed to see how your subsequent replies/explanations would play out.

So let's get something straight,
He made you give him a hand-job, and now more conveniently a whole day after this initial admission, he also put his finger in you and poured his cvm on you—also rubbed it on your face. NOTED!

crackhaus:
Take a look at the statement in your post which I have sized up for reference.
Now I'm going to take a real wild guess, but please correct me if I'm wrong - The very person whom you've been fantasizing about having sex with in the sweetest way possible, is actually this same guy. RIGHT or WRONG?

crackhaus:

I do feel sympathy for you, considering how it's obvious from the story that you were in a weakened position and could not fight your way out...but please satisfy my curiosity and I hope you don't see the next sentence like I'm judging you:
This whole thing you just told us was actually supposed to be consensual sex that went completely wrong[/b]

crackhaus:

I might be completely wrong, but the chronology and narrative of your story leads me to understand that you always wanted to have sex with this guy and when it 'almost' happened, it didn't go the way you fantasized.

crackhaus:

I also noticed this bit:
I've always looked at relationships through Mills and Boon coloured glasses. Passionate fights brought you closer than ever. Naive me!

I think I smell naughty.

macarena:

This all happened at the same time. It was part of the multiple acts he performed on me. Didnt feel the need to elaborate at first.

In my mind I sometimes daydreamed he was the one I got married to.



Not at all. He did not even know I was crushing on him which is why he could talk to me freely about the girls he liked. It just came out of nowhere.
I don't believe in premarital sex. I wanted it to be in the right and proper way.

Its a habit carried over from secondary school. Mills and Boons were the rage with us girls. I am not naughty.

5minsmadness:

I wonder what your blood pressure is in real life.

Mindfulness:
You move on by taking your mind off him and the 'friendship' and by focusing on different things, people, your life, your future, your dreams.

Distraction is the key. It's hard at the beginnig but it gets easier gradually.

crackhaus:

Okay then, so he's the one you fantasized about having sex with...
No shame in that.


Now can you please repeat these words to yourself:
<insert his name> has violated me sexually, made me feel dirty, and I hate him for it. I will have no more sexual fantasies of him or let him come anywhere close to me till I am over this.

<insert his name> has to go on his knees and apologize for making me feel so worthless and stvpid...but until he does that, I will stay happy, cheerful and grateful that all this happened now and has saved me the costly mistake of ever having any real romantic relationship with him.

MizMyColi:


But Mindy, maybe my eyes and brain aren't cooperating as they should.

From the little I read in the OP, all I can see screaming in my face is "Abuse, Abuse"

The young lady was abused by the guy na.
Or maybe she likes BbDSM tins

Let me return to my viewing mode till you're back online.

Mindfulness:


100 000 likes

Just that she shouldn't let him come near her even if he apologises. These people are not able to have a sane relationship, not now and not in near future.

macarena:
Thank you every one for the advice.
I got more than I expected.
And most of you were right, my self-esteem is nothing to brag about.

Even though he has hit me severally, yesterday inclusive, I always apologized and rationalized his actions by telling myself I pushed him past his limits.


Thinking about it now, I don't think it was normal for me to leave the house by 5am while it was still dark and hiding somewhere when I knew I could not outrun him, because he insisted on taking my phone without ever giving me again. I didnt realize I was fast turning into those DV women I derided and blamed online.

We are both members of the same church and workers in church also. Don't think I could ever go back.


And @5minsmadness, I am ashamed cos of everything he did and how powerless and violated I felt. He put his finger in me and that place still hurts somewhat, I've never had sèx before. He poured his spèrm on me and rubbed it on my face, taunting me in the process. And I just could not do anything. When I fantasized about finally having sèx in the proper condition, it was never like this.

Bellong made me laugh with his graphic description.


TV01, are you a psychologist?
All your descriptions were so apt.
I never knew it was this bad. When you said I was on my way to becoming damaged, I started crying because its so true.
I've always looked at relationships through Mills and Boon coloured glasses. Passionate fights brought you closer than ever.
Naive me!


I will learn to love and forgive myself though I don't know where to start from. And even though I find it hard, I'll go make friends.
I'll take it one day at a time.

Mindfulness:


Guess!

macarena:
We had been very close friends for over 4yrs. Even though we had our fights and quarrels, we always resolved our differences.
Fastforward to the beginning of this year, when we resumed a new semester in school. He had problems with where he was staying and moved in with me. We never discussed it, he just brought his bags and that was that.
We still had fights and quarrels complete with name-calling but we always made up. We were not dating, we were just friends.
I got jealous when he began getting really close to another girl and looked for every opportunity to lash out at him, disguising the reason I was doing so. That only pushed him further away. At a point he told me he didnt want to be friends, as is customary, I pleaded for another chance but I guess he had made up his mind this time.
Yesternight, we had the worst fight ever! I will admit I started it cos I was tired of him ignoring me.
We insulted each other's parents and said mean things to ourselves. At a point he tore my wrapper and panties, did everything to me apart from putting it in. He even forced me to give him a handjob, he's quite big and easily overpowered me.
I had to leave the house and go somewhere cos I am so ashamed of myself, we both run in the same circles and I don't know how I will ever face him.
I feel so useless, just like a piece of meat.
And the annoying thing is that I love him even though I will take that secret to the grave.
Please how do I move on?
He's an extrovert and can be the life of a gathering while Im the opposite.
How do I avoid him and not pretend it hurts that we are no longer close?
He will be moving out soon and has told me my presence won't be needed in his house. And its all my fault! My troublesome character drove him away.
To the mature people in the house, pls help!

5minsmadness:

90/60mmHg

crackhaus:

Well that would depend on her personality I think - some people will never be comfortable around him ever, while some people will forgive and relate with him but only on an extremely 'cautious' level.
Then there's the third kind who almost usually ends up finding themselves in the same shii.

But you women can be funny at times sha, as in literally..

HaneefahRN:
Have I forgotten the definition of friendship?
This is just all shades of wrong.
He had accommodation issues, didn't have any male friend to go to but you even without prior notice.
You fight often for whatever reason, he sexually assaulted you and you are still calling this friendship and still crushing on him or probably want him?

You need help. Start by loving your self and put your mind on more profitable things.

macarena:
We had been very close friends for over 4yrs. Even though we had our fights and quarrels, we always resolved our differences.
Fastforward to the beginning of this year, when we resumed a new semester in school. He had problems with where he was staying and moved in with me. We never discussed it, he just brought his bags and that was that.
We still had fights and quarrels complete with name-calling but we always made up. We were not dating, we were just friends.
I got jealous when he began getting really close to another girl and looked for every opportunity to lash out at him, disguising the reason I was doing so. That only pushed him further away. At a point he told me he didnt want to be friends, as is customary, I pleaded for another chance but I guess he had made up his mind this time.
Yesternight, we had the worst fight ever! I will admit I started it cos I was tired of him ignoring me.
We insulted each other's parents and said mean things to ourselves. At a point he tore my wrapper and panties, did everything to me apart from putting it in. He even forced me to give him a handjob, he's quite big and easily overpowered me.
I had to leave the house and go somewhere cos I am so ashamed of myself, we both run in the same circles and I don't know how I will ever face him.
I feel so useless, just like a piece of meat.
And the annoying thing is that I love him even though I will take that secret to the grave.
Please how do I move on?
He's an extrovert and can be the life of a gathering while Im the opposite.
How do I avoid him and not pretend it hurts that we are no longer close?
He will be moving out soon and has told me my presence won't be needed in his house. And its all my fault! My troublesome character drove him away.
To the mature people in the house, pls help!

dahaz:


I dont know why you choose to study nursing. you could have been better off as a guidance and counsellor