naw frank i wont say none i dont want to bias ur creative thoughts
that said,
im at this (its the story not ur work)

Michael arrived in front of Brenda’s door at exactly eleven am on Saturday, looking elegant in a dark red t-shirt and blue jeans. Brenda couldn’t help but admire that handsome figure the moment she opened the door for him to enter. She instantly felt that it was going to be hard to resist him.
“I didn’t think that you will be coming this early.” She said, smiling.
Michael sat down and said, “If I had my way, I would have been here early enough to have breakfast with you. Where is Jane?”
“Oh, she is in the bedroom preparing for her date with Ben her fiancé.” Then loudly, “Jane, Michael is here!”
Jane came out almost immediately. “Hi, Michael. Nice seeing you, it’s a pity I will be going out soon.”
“That’s okay. No wonder you are looking so beautiful. Your fiancé must be very proud of you.”
Jane spent just a few minutes with them before Ben came to pick her up.
Again, Michael was alone in the house with Brenda.
What shall I offer Mr. Handsome?” Brenda was standing in front of him in an attempt to get whatever he requests.
Michael was glad to know that she thought he was handsome. “A bottle of Maltina will do.”
“So what is your plan for today? She asked as she opened the bottle of Maltina. She sat close to him and paid attention to his face.
“I will like it if we hand around in your house far a while then we can go out in the evening.”
“Okay,” she accepted in a gentle lovely voice.
“I have spent the whole of this week thinking of this moment. And I am so glad that it has finally come.” He said.
“Really? Then why didn’t you squeeze out time to pay me a visit during the week? You didn’t even call everyday as you promised.”
“I wished I could but I had a very hectic week. But trust me, you were always here.” He touched his heart.
“I was busy at the tail of the week also. I had to go for a job test on Thursday and I was called for interview on Friday.
“Yea, that reminds me, how did you fare?”
“It was cool, I m very positive that I will be called for the job. Besides my friend at the internet told me the job is mine.”
“Can you tell me about your cyber friend?”
“I have been waiting to tell you Michael, but I really need you to believe and promise me that you won’t think that I am making it up or going crazy.”
“Its all right, you can tell me everything.” He assured her.
Brenda had found it exciting to tell Michael the story of Cain because she had seen him as a good listener right from the first time they had stayed together.
She told him everything about Cain, leaving nothing out. She also used the opportunity to tell him about her break up with Adam and why it really affected her the way it did. “I don’t know what to really think, I can’t help wanting to chat with him even though I am scared. Am I possessed? She concluded.
“No, you are definitely not possessed. I believe that there is an explanation for it all; with time, all will be revealed,” Michael said. Now he understands why Jane had been worried. The story she just told him was unbelievable. Something was happening to Brenda, she was no more the girl struggling to recover from heartbreak. She was now a lively confused girl, filled with nothing but curiosity and excitement about a strange being on the internet. Could this really be a ghost? Michael had never in his life given ghost issues a second thought.
“Can I ask you a question? Michael asked.
“Shoot.”
“I want you to tell me what you think about Cain. Do you think he could be some guy playing pranks on the internet or some form of ghost?”
“Honestly, I think it is a ghost or someone with some supernatural powers. Michael, he is possessing me. He is making me have less control of myself.”
“Then the best thing for you to do is to put a total stop to chatting with him.” Michael said, feeling guilty for even introducing the idea in the first place.
“No! I can’t. You don’t understand Michael; I have both good and bad feeling about Cain. Honestly the good feeling is overshadowing the bad feeling.”
This was getting out of hand Michael thought, but he swore that he won’t watch the girl he loves waste away just like that. Brenda was precious to him.
“I am confused Brenda. I really want to help you but I don’t know what to do. How long will this continue?”
“I don’t know…” she suddenly stopped talking. She was having a strange sensation. Something was happening in the room. She looked up, down and sideways.
“What is it Brenda?” Michael asked.
“It’s him.” She said quietly.
“Who?”
Cain, he promised that he will make me feel his presence. I think he is around.”
Michael sat motionless on the sofa, obviously confused. He continued to stare at her.
“Cain!” Brenda called out softly.

u are keeping me at suspence.who is dis cain guy

I like this high point in the story. The tension is so tight. Please don't let us down.

maedan:

frank3.16
Wow. Sometimes it's hard to believe you really wrote this (and that's a compliment )

Things are coming to a head and I figure it's one of the following:
(A.) Jane is going mental (ga-ga )
(B.) Weird_000/Cain is a ghost/spirit/vampire . (But how come he didn't know she'd just broken up??)

I can hardly imagine how you're going to explain away this mysterious Cyber Lover, but I love this story!! Your writing needs a lot of polishing but it's quite readable. Michael is my favourite . Funny enough it's Jane that's the most annoying character . I feel like smacking her sometimes!

sometimes?
more like everytime

maedan:

frank3.16
Wow. Sometimes it's hard to believe you really wrote this (and that's a compliment )

Things are coming to a head and I figure it's one of the following:
(A.) Jane is going mental (ga-ga )
(B.) Weird_000/Cain is a ghost/spirit/vampire . (But how come he didn't know she'd just broken up??)

I can hardly imagine how you're going to explain away this mysterious Cyber Lover, but I love this story!! Your writing needs a lot of polishing but it's quite readable. Michael is my favourite . Funny enough it's Jane that's the most annoying character . I feel like smacking her sometimes!

he knew, like it was stated in the story, he just wanted to hear it from her. it was important she hears it from him. you find out why.

i didnt realize i made Jane's characher annoying

Myne White:

I like this high point in the story. The tension is so tight. Please don't let us down.

I will try my best not to dissappoint you

“Brenda,” She heard a voice. It was the most beautiful sound she had ever heard. No music could be compared to it.
“Cain!” She called out again. She was looking all around and couldn’t tell where the voice was coming from. “Can you see me? Where are you?”
“Yes I can Brenda, I can see you.” The voice was intoxicating; it was lovely.
“He is here,” she said to Michael. “Cain is here.” She stood up, looking very excited. “Can you hear him? I told you he is real. He promised me that he was going to make me feel him and he has kept his words.”
“I can’t hear anything Brenda. What is wrong with you?” Michael asked, not knowing how to handle her. Was she going crazy? He thought.
“Can’t you hear him?” Brenda was puzzled. How couldn’t Michael hear Cain’s voice? This was a very good opportunity for her to prove to Michael and Jane that she wasn’t going insane. “Cain! Can you speak out? So that my good friend here can hear you.”
“Forget about him Brenda.” There was an impatient note in his voice. “I came here to be with you and nobody else. I want to take you to my world Brenda. Come with me.”
“Where? How?” She suddenly became oblivious of Michael’s presence.
Michael could also observe that Brenda was becoming unconscious of her environment, like she was hypnotized. “Brenda! Brenda!! What is happening? Can you talk to me?” Who was she talking to? He thought.
Brenda couldn’t hear him. Something strange was happening to her. “Where are you Cain? I want to see you.”
“Close your eyes Brenda, I want to show you my world.” Cain said to her.
“Where are you taking me to?” she inquired as she closed her eyes.
“Just relax and be quiet.” Cain replied.
Brenda suddenly felt very light. She began to witness a floating sensation. Then she saw herself in a large field with flowers. It was like a dream but this feeling was so real and gratifying. The flowers were so beautiful; Brenda felt she was in heaven. And she felt joy like she had never before. She continued to look around her. At her back, just about forty meters from her, was a very big beautiful castle. The beauty was indescribable and Brenda couldn’t tell its colour. No colour she had ever seen could be likened to it.
“This is the beauty of me Brenda. Do you like it?” Cain’s voice asked from no where.
“Yes I love it.” She felt the strong presence of somebody by her side. She walked towards the castle. Looking at it, she couldn’t tell if it was hanging in space or if its foundation was dug into the ground.
She entered into the castle.
Everywhere and everything inside sparked like diamonds. She was almost paralyzed with intense joy.
“I love you Brenda. Do you love me?”
“Yes, I love you,” she moaned.
“This is my world Brenda. No tears, no heartbreak, no pain, just joy forever.”
She suddenly found herself in a large room on a bed. She suddenly realized that she was having only her underwears on. The feeling of the bed spread on her body was so warm and pleasurable.
His presence was so strong that Brenda actually felt he was there physically. She suddenly desired him to make love to her.
“You are so beautiful.” His voice penetrated her and Brenda wanted to reach out and hug him.
Michael watched as Brenda stripped herself before him. She was obviously in a romantic mood with somebody he couldn’t see. This has to stop, he thought. He had been stunned by her behavior and couldn’t help but watch her behave strangely. Now he couldn’t just watch her take off everything.
He was also stunned by her beautiful body. He suddenly realized that she was more beautiful then he thought.
Her moans where making him terribly uncomfortable. He was getting scared.
Then he felt a sense of responsibility. How could he stand here and watch the girl he loves go into a romantic escapade with who knows?
He suddenly grabbed her and called her name several times.
“What is wrong with you? Brenda!” he shook her more violently. Then he felt her fall into his arms. He lifted her and carried her to the long sofa.
Brenda opened her eyes and starred into his face. She was totally confused.
She looked more beautiful than Michael ever thought.
“Where is Cain? What happened? Michael…”
“I didn’t see or hear anybody. What happened? Why did you take off your cloths? “I was with Cain. You made him go.” She looked at herself. “Where are my cloths? Oh God what is happening to me?” She suddenly felt ashamed of herself. She couldn’t believe she had almost stripped herself in front of Michael. She had humiliated herself. Was she about to make love to Cain? Where had she taken her to?
She felt embarrassed as she hurriedly put on her cloths. She wondered what was really happening to her.
Michael remained silent. He was also embarrassed, but he was very worried for her.
“I am sorry Michael. But I want you to believe me. I am not going crazy. Cain was actually here. I heard him clearly and I felt his presence. He took me out of here to somewhere so beautiful and joyful. There he wanted to make love to me and I really wanted to do yield.” She was speaking so fast and she looked scared.
“Its okay Brenda, I want you to take it easy,” he held her close to himself. After a long pause he said, “Perhaps I should take you to the hospital or to a psychiatrist.”
“No, I don’t need any medication. I know that I am alright. Believe me Michael, I am not hallucinating. I am alright both mentally and physically. I know I don’t have any explanation for what is happening but I am alright.” She wished she could make Michael believe her and stop thinking she was insane.
Michael didn’t respond. He sat quietly beside her and held her close to himself. He was so confused.
Then she quietly said, “I am scared Michael, I think I am communicating with something evil and no doctor can help me.”
“Do you think he is still around? Watching us?” He felt a creepy sensation run through him. The sudden realization that something might be in this same room watching them was discomforting.
“I don’t really know. But I think if he was around I would have felt him.”
This is insane, Michael thought. He hoped that she recovers from this illusion soonest.
“I am scared Michael, I am really scared.”
He held her more closely to himself. He could feel her breath. “I will stand by you, no matter what you are going through. I will never leave you. We must find a way out.”
This wasn’t the way Michael had dreamt this weekend would be. But despite everything that had happened, he was glad to have her by his side.
He couldn’t make out what was happening to her, but he was sure that nothing, not even that devil himself could make him let her go.
He looked at her and realized that she was already sleeping. He didn’t want wake her. So he held her and visualized her beautiful body once again.

guys, dont worry they wont have to take brenda to church for deliverance  LOL

CHAPTER 7

Nimrod James!!” The prison wader called out. He was so loud that any inmate in his cell, no matter the distance, would hear him.
“Yes!” Nimrod sharply answered. He knew he had a visitor. It was Sunday and he had hoped that Allen would visit him today. He was relieved to hear his name; there could be no other reason for his name to be called if not because he had a visitor.
He stood up from his bed and walked to his cell door and tried to put his head through the space between the bars. He wanted to see the caller and to be seen also.
His cell mate was staring at him. He loathed Nimrod. Nimrod had made his life in the prison a living hell. He wondered why somebody in his right senses would visit the devil. He knew Nimrod’s term in the prison was so short and he prayed that the day should come quickly so that Nimrod could leave him in peace.
The prison wader who called Nimrod walked up to his cell and opened his cell door. “You better hurry up. You have only a short time to chat with your friend.” He rudely said to Nimrod.
Nimrod wasn’t interests in what he was saying. As long as Nimrod was concerned, what the prison wader deserves was for someone to sharp small knife into his belly and cut out his belly button so the he could bleed to death.

Sorry guys, I didn't mean Jane, I meant that Brenda is annoying. It's not ur fault, frank 3.16; some will pity her but I think she needs a serious whipping!

Frank, your story is tight. I love the thrill.

ginky:

Frank, your story is tight. I love the thrill.

thanks Ginky

maedan:

Sorry guys, I didn't mean Jane, I meant that Brenda is annoying. It's not your fault, frank 3.16; some will pity her but I think she needs a serious whipping!

ya you are right. but remember that she is a victim here, victims are most times more vulnerable to all kinds of manipulations.

Nimrod was escorted by two warders through the narrow passage that divided the two cells. They went straight to the visitor’s room.
Allen was waiting.
“You have ten minutes,” one of the officials said and locked the door behind him.
“To hell with your ten minutes,” Nimrod whispered under his nose. Ten minutes was all they could give a prisoner to talk to his visitor. What the hell do they think prisoners are?
“Where the hell have you been all these while?”
“Relax pal, it’s been a long and stressful week. I have a short time with you, so allow me to fill you in as quickly as possible.” Allen said.
He gave Nimrod all the necessary details about the events that had taken place since the last time he visited.
I knew it! That stupid Glen cannot handle his mum if she was crazy. But this is a nice development; at least the gang will see his incompetency and will be quick to embrace me once I am out of here.”
“A whole lot of them are waiting to welcome you. Even the new once are eager to see that long awaited notorious Nimrod. I am just unhappy about the death of Bulus. We sure will miss strong a character like him.” Allen said.
“Let Glen continue thinking that everything is all right. I hope he didn’t get to know my intention for visiting him that dreadful night.”
“Yes, he does not have the slightest idea. He still thinks you came to talk to him about his decision to leave the gang.”
“I can’t wait to get out of this hole. I will give him the biggest surprise of his life.” Nimrod said bitterly.
“I heard a rumor that that could be released earlier than expected. It that true?”
“Heard something like that too, but I am not so sure of the time. It could be this week. God I wish it was today.”
“Take it easy pal. It is already over. I will keep my ears to the ground so that I will be around to pick you when you come out. I’ve got you a nice accommodation outskirt the town. You will love it.”
“That’s nice to hear. Still keeping an eye on Michael?” Nimrod asked
“Yes. He’s got himself a girl. His days are pretty busy these days.”
“I hope she will be with him whenever I confront him. Just don’t let him out of your sight.”
“It is more difficult to keep an eye on a chicken than to keep an eye on him.” Allen confidently said.
“I was thinking its time the gang got itself a name; it will also need some restructuring.”
“Tell me about what you’ve got in mind for the gang.”
“Time up!” The prison warder shouted as he opened the door behind them.”
Nimrod and Allen both looked hatefully at him.
“Stick around pal. I don’t want to be helpless once I am out of here. Be there to pick me up and take me home.”
“I will be there.” Allen cheerfully replied. He watched as the warder roughly shoved Nimrod out of the visitor’s room. Then he quietly left the prison wondering what new ideas Nimrod had. He was really getting bored with Glen’s way of doing things and he believes that the strong arm of the law will soon catch up with them if they continue depending on his way of doing things.
He didn’t want to caught; at least not yet. He sure would not like to stop indulging in crime. It was his way of life; his only means of survival and he was yet to achieved his dreams. Only Nimrod can take him there.
As he drove off the prison in his dark blue Peugeot, he was glad that the next time he will be coming here; it will be to take Nimrod home and never to come back.

Michael had not been able to get Brenda and yesterday’s event out of his mind. In fact he had slept with the thought and it still persisted even though the day was half way gone. He was more confused than a lost infant. He didn’t know how to handle Brenda’s situation.
Was she possessed by demons? Was she hallucinating? Who was Cain? Does she have a history with this sort of thing?
Backing off wasn’t an option. He had already formed a very strong emotional attachment towards her; he won’t be a happy man if he leaves her. Besides she needed him now; standing by her will prove his love for her and increase his chance of having her to himself.
He was very concerned for her and was even more worried that he could proffer no solution to her problem.
He could feel her pain, her confusion and her worries. From the way she acted yesterday, it was obvious that, although she was sure of what was happening to her, she was frightened and helpless about her situation. Something beyond her control is manipulating her and she is scared to death.
Yesterday’s even was scary and mysterious. Was there any sort of danger? No! He shouldn’t think of that.
Then he remembered her standing almost naked before him. What a body?! He couldn’t help lusting after the little he saw of her body. It had almost distracted him from what was really happening to her. Then he recalled the way she had leaned on his body, just like an infant who was so much dependent on its mother. She had slept soundly on him looking so vulnerable and desirable. He was glad she had found comfort in him and he was ready to give her more comfort if given the opportunity.
It was almost two pm that Sunday afternoon. He was just relaxing on his bed. Thoughts of Brenda had handicapped his normal Sunday activities. He wanted to pay her a visit but thought against that. He had called her instead and was happy to hear her sweet gentle voice sounding lively and cheerful. She had said she was feeling better and from the sound of her voice, he believed her.
His thought drifted to fantasies of him and Brenda having romantic moments. But the sudden ringing of his phone brought him back to reality. It was his friend, Joel.
“Are you at home?” Joel asked over the phone.
“Yes. I am just relaxing at home; I don’t feel like going out today.” Michael answered lazily.
“Is everything alright? What’s bothering you Michael? I can detect something from the way you sound.”
“How do I sound? I am the psychologist here, you know?” Michael replied defensively. He was surprised that Joel could detect something in his voice. Had he been that carried away?
“I might not be a psychologist, but I can tell when a friend is worried. I am passing by your street. I just thought that I should perhaps check on you.”
“That will be nice. As a matter of fact, I can do with the company now.”
Joel knocked on the door a few minutes later. Michael was already in the sitting room waiting for him. He decided that he will seek Joel’s opinion on Brenda’s issue.
The sudden presence o f Joel made him realize that he was actually lonely. Joel on the other hand was looking excited.
“Is this how you intend to spend our Sunday after much stress during the week? What is the matter with you? Joel asked ask he shook hands with Michael and made for the nearest seat.
“I am okay; I just didn’t feel like hanging out today, besides it’s just almost three pm. I might still change my mind.”
“Michael, you are not being honest with me. It’s that girl right? Brenda?”
“What are you, a psychic? Well, you sort of got it right.” Michael answered.
“Wow, what is the problem? I can see she is really getting you worked up.” Joel was concerned.
“A lot had happen; I really need to talk to someone.”
Without wasting much time Michael told him the situation so far. He concentrated more on the mysterious Cain.
“I think you should take her to a spiritual healer or something. This is far beyond Psychology or Medicine.” Joel replied. His cheerful face was now looking more confused than ever.
“I suggested that but she rejected the idea. Besides that suggestion implies that I think she is insane. I am afraid of loosing the confidence she has in me. She needs someone who she can trust, someone who will stand by her. And I want to be that person.” Michael replied, helplessly.
“But you can’t just sit there and watch her gradually tear apart psychologically.” Joel said.
“Well, I am actually hoping that Cain will not appear or disturb her again. Maybe I scared her away.”
Joel was surprised, “This is crazy Michael, there was nobody there. She needs prayers. And even if there was a ghost,” He sounded skeptical, “You can’t scare him, he is interested in you. Ghosts don’t go away that easy. God, this is crazy.”
Michael suddenly looked up at Joel. “You are beginning to scare me. I am asking for help here, can you do that for me?”
“Have you spoken to her today?” Joel asked, wondering what sort of help Michael expected him to render.
“Yes, she sounded alright. And I hope it remains like that. Look Joel, this girl is really a wonderful person; I am so much in love with her, she is just the kind of girl I have been praying for.”
“Take it easy with her since you like her this much. You must devote much time for her, talk to her and let her tell you everything. I believe you are the best man to handle her. I also believe that only what she says can be used to help her.”
“Well, I will try my best. It’s time I let the psychologist in me out. It’s just that I never bargained for something mysterious like this but I will face it.”
“Yes, you never bargained to struggle for her with a ghost called Cain,” Joel bantered. “What an interesting name, wasn’t Cain the first murderer in the Bible? Do you think they could have something in common?
“Joel! Are you going to continue to scare the shit out of my pants? You are bringing a whole new dimension to the story.” Joel had really gotten his attention with that statement. Could the name suggest that Cain is a murderer? Suddenly he didn’t want to discuss the issue anymore. “Enough of me; how is the wife?” Michael changed the subject.
“Oh she has a guest who is keeping her busy all day. I saw it as an opportunity to come out for a while. At least she won’t need or miss me for a while.” Joel was glad for the change of topic.
“Why are you so cheerful this afternoon?”
“Everything, Michael. My marriage is heading towards perfection. My wife is such a wonderful woman; I have been so blind and selfish all these while. I have good news for you.”
“Tell me.”
“My wife is pregnant. I will soon be a father!”
“Lovely Joel, I am so happy for you. This calls for celebration.” Michael happily replied.
“What’s your idea?”
“My idea? Are you sick? We are going to get drunk man.” He stood up. “Wait for me let me change my cloths.
He came out eight minutes later and together they left the building. As he locked the door, Michael reminded himself that he was going to call Brenda later in the evening.

* * * * * * * * *

Brenda thought about Michael throughout Sunday. It was almost six pm and she was in the sitting room listening to the soft music of Shade Ado. The kitchen utensils rumble lightly in the kitchen. It was Jane; she was supposed to go out with Ben earlier in the day, but decided to spend the day with Brenda. She was preparing dinner for the both of them, giving Brenda sometime alone to once again think about Michael and yesterday’s event.
She knew that she had developed strong feelings for him; a feeling she chose not to call love. She liked him and was he liked her also. She remembered how secured she had felt in his arms yesterday, so secured that she slept like a baby. He had boldly stood there with her when she was acting strange. She did not even repulse him, even after Cain had made her embarrass herself. He was a sensitive guy who seems to understand her despite the short time they have heard together.
Is she actually safe in his hands? Can she trust him? She wanted to hold back her emotions and not allow herself fall in love with him but this was getting beyond her.
She wished he would stop coming around. That was the only way she could resist him. Why can’t they all leave her the hell alone?
But will she be happy if he stops coming around? She loved the way he had comforted her yesterday, the understanding she had shown. Oh God, what should she do?
Her phone started to ring by her side. It was Michael.
“Michael.” She spoke to the phone.
“Pretty one, I couldn’t get you off my mind throughout today. So I thought I should get myself some therapy by calling you and hearing your beautiful voice.” Michael said.
“Thinking about me does not require any therapy, unless the thought is unpleasant.” Brenda replied cheerfully.
“Thinking about me causes me to miss you and whenever I miss you, I am not happy and whenever I am not happy, I need therapy.”
“So how do you feel now that you’ve heard my voice?”
“I think you know better. How do you do this evening?”
“I am fine. Where are you? The background is noisy.” She said.
“I am hanging out with a friend. We are celebrating his pregnant wife. We are in a small bar at the center of the town.”
“You hang out alone? You didn’t think it was necessary to take me along with you?”
“Oh no, not at all, I just thought that that it’s okay that you have some rest today. There will be much time for us to hang out in future. Besides this was a prompt arrangement, I didn’t have time to call you.” Michael explained.
“That’s okay. I was only teasing. I am not really in the mood to hang out today. I and Jane are having a good time together.”
“How is she doing?”
“She is fine, we are alright.”
“I hope Cain didn’t bother you today?”
“No, he didn’t.” She answered, remembering yesterday again.
“I wish he won’t come back. I really appreciate the way you sound today. I pray it continues.”
“Yes,” she replied, not sure if his view about Cain was okay with her. “When next are you coming around?”
“I will definitely squeeze out time within the week, let’s say Tuesday or Wednesday.”
“I will look forward to it.”
“Take care of yourself.”
“I will.” She dropped the phone. She looked up towards the kitchen and saw Jane watching her. “I knew someone was watching me. Are we ready to eat?”
“Just give me a few minutes. Was that Michael on the line?” Jane asked.
“Yes.”
“Michael is such a nice guy and I am happy that the two of you are getting alone fine.” Jane had been made aware of what happened yesterday. She was glad that Michael handled the situation very well despite Brenda’s embarrassing act. She couldn’t understand what was happening to her friend, but was grateful that Brenda was looking more lively and cheerful today. She had looked like someone who saw a ghost yesterday. This was the reason she decided to forgo her date with Ben. She wanted to pay close attention to Brenda.
She was aware that Michael was calling for the second time today and only hoped that Michael will not turn out to be like other guys in Brenda’s life. She liked Michael and prayed for the best between him and Brenda. She didn’t know why this Cain or ghost chose to distract Brenda away from him.
“Yes, that is how they come around in the beginning, looking like white angels, latter they turn out to be black devils.” There was a note of sarcasm in Brenda’s voice.
“You just have to be optimistic. He might be the right guy for you, you never can tell.”
“Well I am not giving him all my heart yet. I am still watching carefully. She stood up and walked towards the kitchen, “I am getting hungry, when are we going to eat.”
“Dinner will soon be ready. Just go back to the kitchen and enjoy your music.” Jane was really impressed by Brenda’s great mood. She hoped that Brenda will be called for the job soonest so that she will not have the time to browse at the café again.
Ten minutes later, they were eating dinner; it was rice and salad, with plenty of fried plantain.
“This is lovely” Brenda said as she ate.
“Thanks” Jane replied. After some seconds she said. “I have a strong feeling that you are going to be called for the airline job this week.”
“I feel so too, besides, Cain said that I will get the job. He already congratulated me remember?”
Not Cain again, Jane thought. But she tried not to show her negative feeling towards the mention of Cain’s name. She even pretended not to have heard. “We will celebrate in a special way. I have plans for the event.”
“Oh Jane, it will be a wonderful news. My parents will jump to the heavens; I just wish I am called. Please pray very hard for me.”
“You know I will”
As the continued to eat, Jane was thankful that there was no further mention of Cain.

geee wow

maedan:



frank 3.16
I don't know if I'm happy with the direction of the story . I thought you'd explain the Cain element differently, not as some spirit. You're not supposed to mix up the genre so much, ie, romance, thriller and then the paranormal. But it's your story, do it your way .
And BTW, I understand what someone was saying about your tenses. It's confusing but it doesn't really matter. I'm glued to the story despite myself , so I aint going nowhere anytime soon .

do you read dean koontz's novel. one reason i enjoy his novel is because of his ability to mx these three and come out with a vey interesting story.

Just hang on with my and lets see if i actually hit my point. thanks.

ya the tenses, gosh. i guess i need more trianing in my writing skills.

CHAPTER 8

Jane worked in customer service section of Wintel Trust Bank, Lupe. She arrived very early on Monday morning and walked straight to her desk, knowing that she had so much to do as she usually does on Monday mornings.
She looked at the heap of letters on her table and wondered when she was going to be through sorting the letters today. After sorting out the letters, she will then take them to the section where they will be thoroughly analyzed.
She had barely worked for an hour when her cell phone vibrated. She moaned softly; she wasn’t in the mood for calls. She looked at the screen of her cell phone and saw it was Benson, her fiancé.
“Good Morning my sweetheart.” She spoke into the phone.
“My honey,” His voice was very much alive. “I wouldn’t have been able to achieve anything today if I hadn’t heard your voice. Now, my day is complete.”
“Don’t tell me that memory of me is not strong enough in your mind to help you carry on with your day’s activities.”
“The memory is there but I am having an increased tolerant for you. I just need more of you to achieve the same effect.”
“Alright, I will be there for you, no matter how much you need me.”
“How is you day going?” He asked.
“As busy as usual,” She replied.
“I am equally having a busy day. How is Brenda doing?”
“She is alright. It was good that I stayed with her yesterday. Her emotions were stable even until this morning before I left the house.”
“That’s good to hear. Did Michael come around yesterday?”
“No, but he called a couple of times.”
“Okay. Let me allow you to do your work, promise me you won’t over work yourself.”
“I won’t. Be careful too.”
She dropped the phone and continued with her work.
She worked for the next two hours with just little interruption from her colleagues. Her legs started to feel numb so she decided to take a break. She was just about to stand when her cell phone vibrated again.
It was Brenda.
She had actually been expecting Brenda’s call. Brenda was supposed to call her once she receives feedback from the airline company concerning the test and interview she underwent last week.
“I got the Job!!” Brenda shouted into the phone before Jane could say a word.
Jane had to restrain herself from shouting too. “This is great Brenda. I don’t know how to express my joy. Where are you?”
“I am still at the headquarters of the airline company. I am trying to sort some things. After here, I will buy recharge card and call my parents. Oh Jane I am so happy. I have to call Michael also.”
Jane was glad that Brenda felt that Michael was important enough to be notified of the good news. “Alright Brenda, take your time. I will come home early so that we can do a little celebration.”
“We will meet at home then. I will hang around a while so that I can get myself acquainted with my new working environment.”
“Alright, bye.”
Jane dropped the phone. She couldn’t contain her excitement. Her co-workers couldn’t wait to hear the good new, so she quickly told them what the excitement was all about. Then she left to buy some snacks at the Bank’s canteen.
When Jane came back, she heard the two male co-workers in her office discoursing about a murder case they read in the morning papers with so much concern. One of the males held the paper in his hands as they talked.
“His wife must have known about it. If I were the police I will thoroughly investigate her.” The darker of the two males said.
“How can you suspect her? She lost her husband and you are suspecting her, don’t you have human feelings?” The other man with the papers in his hands said.
“What is it all about?” Jane asked.
“A man of thirty one was brutally murdered in his family home yesterday evening. He was found by his wife who told the press that she was planning to go out for dinner with her husband. In the rush to leave the house the deceased found out the he had forgotten his car key and hurried back into the house to pick it. She heard him scream briefly and rushed to check what was wrong, only to be confronted with his mutilated body.  The deceased who was identified as Benjamin Frost was disserted beyond recognition leaving a sight so repulsive for observers to behold.” The male co-worker with the papers read aloud. 
“Benjamin what? “ Jane asked. Could this be the same Benjamin that once dated Brenda? She collected the papers for the bearer and looked at the page. Her mouth suddenly tasted bitter.
The caption stated, “MYSERY MURDER IN CAPE CITY” Cape City was not more than seventeen kilometers from Lupe.
It was Benjamin alright. His handsome image was placed at the right top of the page that carried the news. She and Brenda knew that he relocated to Cape City with the lady he impregnated while dating Brenda.
“Why would anyone one to murder Benjamin? She asked more to herself, as she handed the paper back to the owner.
“Do you know him?” Her co-worker asked her.
“Yes, he used to date my roommate.”
“Well, they said it was a big misery. It is a wonder how anyone could possibly mutilate him so carefully like that in just a short period of time.”
“What is the police saying?” She asked, still shocked by the news.
“Nothing much, they are still investigating the murder.” He opened the page and read through. “It says here that the description of the murder scene was beyond human explanation. His blood was used to paint the walls of the room.”
Jane was horrified. She couldn’t still believe it. She wondered how Jane would handle the news.

As the day went by, Jane tried not to allow the mysterious news to affect her concentration on her work. She sent one of the bank messengers to buy the papers for her. She would like to take her time to read the news and also give it to Brenda to read. Brenda’s new appointment was the only motivation she had for the rest of the day.
On her way home, she read the news again. The paper described Benjamin’s murderer as horrific psychopath, saying that nobody in his right senses would carry out such a gruesome act.
So this was how Benjamin Frost’s life ended after treating Brenda so cruel? Probably his murderer was some girl he had hurt and she couldn’t take the pain. Does he deserve such a horrible death? Or even to die? Well, he was gone and gone forever; there was nothing anybody can do about it.
Brenda was already waiting for her at the door when she got home. She looked like a kid who had just been given a desirable present. She hugged Jane as she opened the door.

“Oh Jane, I am so happy.” He collected Jane’s small bag from her. “Today is the happiest day of my life.”
“It should be; people don’t get jobs everyday. How is the working condition like?”
“The pay is excellent. I will be given accommodation, transport and clothing allowances. The working terms are perfectly suitable for me and the environment is very friendly.”
“When will you start work?”
“In two weeks time, but I will be going to the airport from tomorrow for two weeks orientation.”
“How did your parents take the news?”
“What? They were so delighted. I could visualize my mother was dancing.”
“And Michael?” Jane asked.
A sweet smile appeared on Brenda’s face. “I have not called Michael yet. I am saving that for the last.”
“Why? Am I sensing something here? Is Michael that special?”
“I don’t know; I just see him as special. I guess I am beginning to appreciate him even though I am not fully conscious of it.”
Jane suddenly remembered the news about Benjamin, but felt now wasn’t the right time to give her the news. She didn’t want to spoil the good moment.
“Well, let’s change into something nice for the evening. We are going to have a wonderful time tonight.
Brenda noticed the newspaper on Jane’s hand when she was about to enter the room. Jane does not buy newspapers, so she asked, “What’s up with the newspaper? Are you expecting any news?”
What the heck? Jane thought, perhaps she should just tell her. “There is something in there that I would like you to know.”
“What?”
“This morning papers has it that Benjamin was brutally murdered in his home yesterday’s evening. There are no suspects yet. I brought the paper home so you could read it for yourself.”
Brenda stopped. “Benjamin murdered? Why would anybody do that? He couldn’t hurt anybody.” Thoughts of Benjamin ran through her mind.
“He hurt you remember?”
“Yes, but that is not enough for someone to murder him.”
“Not everybody thinks like you Brenda. There are things that you can take lightly, but other will take them seriously.”
“Do you think he might have hurt some other girls the way he hurt me?” Brenda asked.
“I don’t know. But mind you, there are other ways he could have hurt people. He might have done something more than breaking hearts.”
“Yes.” Brenda remembered how bitter she had felt when she heard that Benjamin had gotten another girl pregnant. He never even showed any remorse. “Some part of me is trying to tell me that he deserved to die.”
“Brenda!”
“I know I shouldn’t, but---” She raised her two hands up helplessly. “ I guess sometimes we can’t help thinking this way, especially after what he had put me through. One part of me is sorry, the other part is not.”
“Brenda, I understand your feelings, but we are not better than people who hurt us when we think like this. We must do our best to delete such thoughts from our minds.” Jane warned.
“What a mysterious way to die?” Brenda said thoughtfully, but quickly shrugged the thought of Benjamin from her mind. “It’s really unfortunate, but I won’t allow it to spoil my evening since there is nothing I can do about it. I will call his younger sister when ever I am chanced, but for now, I am going to celebrate all the way.
They both entered the bedroom to prepare for the evening.
Jane thanked God that things were beginning to come back to normalcy in Brenda’s life. She did not even mention Cain’s name. This new job is surely going to change a lot of things or the better.

* * * * * * * * *

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who is this guy revenging 4 brenda .i hope he doesnt kill micheal 2

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CHAPTER 9

Instead of thinking about her new job, the first thought that came into Brenda’s mind as she woke on Tuesday morning was the knowledge that Benjamin was dead. She had tried her best not allow it affect her mood yesterday. She had called Michael that evening to tell him the good news and after that she was surprised that she was beginning to have strong feelings for him because the sound of his voice had added more joy to the good news. But now, she couldn’t help but think about Benjamin.
In as much as he had hurt her so much in the past, she still felt that he didn’t deserve to die at such a young age. The news might not have consciously shocked her yesterday but somewhere in her unconscious it had really registered.
She allowed herself to remember the good time they had had together. It was an eventful four years together that she can never forget.
Now he was dead.
Why would someone murder him? She wondered what he might have done to deserve such a cruel death.
Jane entered the room from the bathroom and quickly walked straight to the dressing table.
“You better get up from that bed and have your bath. You are now a working class lady.” Jane teased.
Brenda stood up and stretched herself, said her morning prayers and rushed into the bathroom.
While she dressed up, Jane turned on the little radio on her dressing table; she didn’t like the quiet atmosphere, besides she was addicted to listening the news by six am. But she wasn’t able to concentrate on the morning news, instead she was overwhelmed with the fact that Brenda had finally secure a new job and will soon be over Adam as she seem be falling for Michael. Everything was working out fine except for the news of Benjamin’s demise. Then she heard, “…body of Mr. Derek Hunter, a senior staff of Zenith Oil Company was found in his office around six pm on Monday in a pool of blood. The body was discovered by a friend of the deceased who alerted the securities of the company. The police was alerted and investigation commenced immediately. So far, the murder has been described as mysterious given the…”
“Oh my God!” Jane exclaimed. She looked up and saw Brenda at the door. She looked shocked also. “What is happening?”
They were both stunned and could not speak any further. Brenda quickly sat down on the bed. She felt weak and faint.
“I can’t believe it, first, Benjamin and now Derek. Both die mysteriously.” Jane whispered loud enough for Brenda to hear. She looked curiously at Brenda. “Your lovers are dying mysteriously, is there anything that I should know?”
“I don’t know what is going on Jane, Believe me.” Brenda replied defensively. “I am mystified. Oh God, how am I going to get through this? I am yet t get over Benjamin. How can I stand the loss of Derek?”
“Something is killing your past lovers; something mysterious. I don’t like talking about this, but I think you will have to tell me more about this Cain friend of your.”
“Do you think it is Cain’s doing?” I thought you never believed that he even existed?” Brenda asked.
“Well…”
“I was even beginning to forget about him. I can’t tell if he is that one doing the killings. I am confused, we never discussed about killing anyone.”
Jane felt foolish. How could she bring up such a suggestion up? All these have got nothing to do with Cain. After all he was just Brenda’s imagination. “I am just confused Brenda. We just have to wait for the police to come up with an explanation for these killings. How are we even sure that they are related. Benjamin is in a different town from Derek. It could just be a coincidence,” Jane said. She stood up and gently pulled Brenda up. “Get yourself ready so that we can go out together. Derek died in Lupe; I believe the public will be given feedback of the outcome of police investigation.”
As Brenda dressed up, she knew she was going to have a worrisome day.

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I updated ,my story in the last two post, you can defferenciate them from the older posts from the dates. thanks.

@ meaden, where are you at? u promised to be there till the end, i cant see u again. dont tell me my story has bored you and diven u away.

Its not the best(no offence though) but you can always improve it.

frank 3.16
How can?? I always look in though I don't read the text itself; you see I wanted it to become plenty(excuse my naija lingo ) so that I can read a long instalment and save myself the painful suspense .

It's plenty enough now so I'll make sure I read it. You know your writing is very natural, one of the most real in the Lit section so I'm actually learning from the experience too. Keep it up, chap. I'm still here .

there's a definite difference in the writing styles
its subtle yet apparent
im not sure if that's good or bad. . .