Hello everybody. Am a catholic and engaged to an Anglican. he is really nice and God fearing. The problem is my dad is vehemently objecting to us getting married because of de ordeal he went through in the catholic church when my sis married an Anglican years ago. My question is do parents still get punished if their children marry outside the catholic church in the east and if yes, what should I do

It's really annoying that things like these still cause serious issues in Nigeria. Giving up true affection for tribal differences, religious or denominational differences and social differences. It's appalling!
To your question, I know some Catholic churches do that (same with some other few denominations) and it's all because they want to keep their members within the fold. You can only be sure about your church if you ask some elders there.
However, I think you need to sit your dad down and have a serious talk with him. He has to move past such way of thinking and care more about your happiness than the 'tradition' of his church.

Your happiness and fulfilment in your marriage supercedes any church's doctrine and rules. If any church should punish your parents because of your choice of partner, then that is no longer a church but a prison yard.
Please don't allow anyone to use their sentiments or religious perception to push you into getting married to a man you are not comfortable with.
Marriage is a lifetime journey and you have every right and freedom to choose who you wish to get married to.
What your parents owe you is parental counsel and not to laws and regulations.

For more.. Please visit www.amaraofficial.com

Victorakats:
Your happiness and fulfilment in your marriage supercedes any church's doctrine and rules. If any church should punish your parents because of your choice of partner, then that is no longer a church but a prison yard.
Please don't allow anyone to use their sentiments or religious perception to push you into getting married to a man you are not comfortable with.
Marriage is a lifetime journey and you have every right and freedom to choose who you wish to get married to.
What your parents owe you is parental counsel and not to laws and regulations.

For more.. Please visit www.amaraofficial.com

Thank u very much. I appreciate

It used to be an issue many years ago for parents, especially the mom, to kick against their daughters marrying outside of the Catholic Church.
I do not know of any Biblical directive in support of it.

Catholics in Africa, especially in rural communities, are very pedantic in issues such as marriage and dressing.

It is totally unfair and wrong for your father not to accept your choice .
People have become wiser and such practice hardly exists now.

Does the Church make marriage decisions for families?
No. We decide and inform them and ask for their blessings
I have relatives who married into or from other denominations.

Please ask your father to provide superior argument why you should sacrifice your happiness on the alter of maintaining a stable Church membership population.
He should resist any reprisals by anybody because he lets you marry your Anglican love.

In a nutshell, your father is afraid of what will happen to him if he gives his consent....
Now you need to allay his fears and convince him that nobody has the right to question who he gives his daughter out in marriage.

If you were my sibling, I will surely take up the matter against our father.

Victorakats:
Your happiness and fulfilment in your marriage supercedes any church's doctrine and rules. If any church should punish your parents because of your choice of partner, then that is no longer a church but a prison yard.
Please don't allow anyone to use their sentiments or religious perception to push you into getting married to a man you are not comfortable with.
Marriage is a lifetime journey and you have every right and freedom to choose who you wish to get married to.
What your parents owe you is parental counsel and not to laws and regulations.

For more.. Please visit www.amaraofficial.com

. u av spoken nt only my mind but God's mind. may God d op to heed to this your advice.

I just lost my mom a few months ago. I think he is scared of going through all this alone. At least when it happened with my big sis, mom was there and they went thru it together. My fiance is suggests we marry traditionally, and then in court and leave the church wedding if it will cause problems

In most places church weddings are done in the bride's church.I don't think it should be a big deal for your finace to go through the rights of marriage in your church and you guys can decide where you want to go after marriage.

It's a pity nowadays it is not about Christ and His church but about denomination and selfish interests.

thorpido:
In most places church weddings are done in the bride's church.I don't think it should be a big deal for your finace to go through the rights of marriage in your church and you guys can decide where you want to go after marriage.

It's a pity nowadays it is not about Christ and His church but about denomination and selfish interests.

In Igbo land, weddings is at the groom's church.

TheArchangel:
In Igbo land, weddings is at the groom's church.

In that case,it will be difficult for the father to give his consent.

@Op,is it compulsory to marry at the village church?Can't the traditional wedding be done in the village and the white wedding elsewhere?

People just trap themselves with unnecessary doctrines.

Is your father a knight?

thorpido:
In that case,it will be difficult for the father to give his consent.

@Op,is it compulsory to marry at the village church?Can't the traditional wedding be done in the village and the white wedding elsewhere?

People just trap themselves with unnecessary doctrines.

She should do the traditional at the village and the wedding elsewhere.
This shouldn't be an issue at all.
I only wish you won't comeback here to tell us how you didn't know that Catholics and Anglicans have different doctrines and how you are finding it difficult to cope yada yada.....

TheArchangel:
She should do the traditional at the village and the wedding elsewhere.
This shouldn't be an issue at all.
I only wish you won't comeback here to tell us how you didn't know that Catholics and Anglicans have different doctrines and how you are finding it difficult to cope yada yada.....

When ever I visit big sis, I attend Anglican church. so am kinda used to their doctrines already

mamachizzy:

When ever I visit big sis, I attend Anglican church. so am kinda used to their doctrines already

Good luck.
DO NOT JUST DISTURB US WITH ANOTHER MONICKER COS OF DOCTRINAL DIFFERNCES.

TheArchangel:
Good luck.
DO NOT JUST DISTURB US WITH ANOTHER MONICKER COS OF DOCTRINAL DIFFERNCES.

I don't knw why a person with such a powerful moniker will be so harsh. Do u think that when a person comes here to ask for advise it means they are stupid or can't take decisions on their own?? No my dear we ask for advise from our fellow humans because some times others can see what we can't. U gain nothing by being rude or harsh to me. Am a human being like u who just happens to need a little help.

mamachizzy:

I don't knw why a person with such a powerful moniker will be so harsh. Do u think that when a person comes here to ask for advise it means they are stupid or can't take decisions on their own?? No my dear we ask for advise from our fellow humans because some times others can see what we can't. U gain nothing by being rude or harsh to me. Am a human being like u who just happens to need a little help.

Sorry if my post appear rude to you.
I have an unpleasant experience with this your topic and I am on the borderline of being either an agnostic or atheist. I do not want you to face same.

TheArchangel:
Sorry if my post appear rude to you.
I have an unpleasant experience with this your topic and I am on the borderline of being either an agnostic or atheist. I do not want you to face same.

You have to let go of the anger, that is what is driving you towards atheism, that is what makes u sound harsh in an anonymous forum like NL

I am yet to meet an atheist who doesn't hold a grudge against either God or his other followers

Suprnov3r:


You have to let go of the anger, that is what is driving you towards atheism, that is what makes u sound harsh in an anonymous forum like NL

I am yet to meet an atheist who doesn't hold a grudge against either God or his other followers

How can I let go bro? I feel like ...had it been.... it is now I wouldn't have agreed or even concede to the idea of marrying outside my doctrine. My not believing or even being skeptical about believing in God makes it a little bit bearable, at least I don't have to be bothered with whichever doctrine I am following since I done care anymore.

I think I am leaning more towards agnosticism since I still strongly acknowledge the existence of God...please lef me joor.

TheArchangel:
She should do the traditional at the village and the wedding elsewhere.
This shouldn't be an issue at all.
I only wish you won't comeback here to tell us how you didn't know that Catholics and Anglicans have different doctrines and how you are finding it difficult to cope yada yada.....

Yea yada yada.
Get knowledge......and with all thy getting get understanding.

The bible speaks of Jesus Christ,not catholic or anglican.The Op knows she is catholic and knew the boyfriend is anglican before deciding to date him.I'm sure they would have decided on what they both believe.

.......yea yada yada .........

mamachizzy:
Hello everybody. Am a catholic and engaged to an Anglican. he is really nice and God fearing. The problem is my dad is vehemently objecting to us getting married because of de ordeal he went through in the catholic church when my sis married an Anglican years ago. My question is do parents still get punished if their children marry outside the catholic church in the east and if yes, what should I do

[size=15pt]Man makes religion, Religion does not make man.[/size]

Tell your daddy I said so.

thorpido:
Yea yada yada.
Get knowledge......and with all thy getting get understanding.

The bible speaks of Jesus Christ,not catholic or anglican.The Op knows she is catholic and knew the boyfriend is anglican before deciding to date him.I'm sure they would have decided on what they both believe.

.......yea yada yada .........

yea yada yada

TheArchangel:
Sorry if my post appear rude to you.
I have an unpleasant experience with this your topic and I am on the borderline of being either an agnostic or atheist. I do not want you to face same.

Its OK my dear. just let the anger go

TheArchangel:
yea yada yada

Yea yada yada.You're not grounded in your faith and your knowledge of Jesus Christ is little with more of your knowledge based on denominational doctrines and that is why you've had issues with your own marriage.Moreover,it seems you're not sure of who you married,that's why you're having a change of mind now.

Jesus Christ and the gospel is all there is............the rest is man made.

thorpido:
Yea yada yada.You're not grounded in your faith and your knowledge of Jesus Christ is little with more of your knowledge based on denominational doctrines and that is why you've had issues with your own marriage.Moreover,it seems you're not sure of who you married,that's why you're having a change of mind now.

Jesus Christ and the gospel is all there is............the rest is man made.

Your post is pouring more fuels on my fire of agnosticism instead of dousing it. So please stop.

I have reached an understanding with the poster, so shelve the teaching. Thanks.

Your father a knight?

UjSizzle:
Your father a knight?

.
He ain't. last time this happened, he didn't receive communion for 3 years and he doesn't want a repeat of that

mamachizzy:
.
He ain't. last time this happened, he didn't receive communion for 3 years and he doesn't want a repeat of that

Who says he must and has to receive holy communion only in his parish?. Why can't he switch parish?. I think the Rev. Father that denied him holy communion for 3 years on account of him giving out his daughter out to somebody of another faith does not know his theology. What offence did he commit?. You Father should give you out and if the Rev. Father again denies him, he should take up the matter to the Diocese.

mamachizzy:
.
He ain't. last time this happened, he didn't receive communion for 3 years and he doesn't want a repeat of that

That's harsh.
Your dad needs to make a choice between his daughter's future and some church membership.
Thankfully there's only one you and many other parishes he can worship with.

Op, go by your Fiance's suggestion. do only traditional and court weddings as he suggested.

Catholic and Anglican doctrine is almost 80% the same. The Anglican church broke away because of English Politics in the 15th/16th century. I have attended Anglican Mass and there was almost no difference. Even the Catholic church in Nigeria recognises Anglican baptism during Marriage classes. It is Pentecostal church that has different doctrines that the old-school churches don't accept.

OP, get your Reverend Father involved in this. It truly should not be an issue but in the East a lot of weird stuff happens (Fr. Mbaka is selling prayer scratch cards) and your Bishop seems to allow it. It is also Easterners that insist on asking the non-Catholic spouse to be signing undertaking (in Lagos the church is always upset to hear that kind of news).

Personally, my religion is like a tribe to me. I would prefer to marry a Catholic. But it seems this is not a big deal to you because it seems you are not really a practicing Catholic. It would be heart breaking for me if all my kids end up marrying outside the church. This is because my denomination is very important me

God told the Israelites not to marry outside their tribe because He knew that they will have to accept foreign ways of worship. For example the honor Catholics give to Mother Mary is different from what the Anglicans do, does this mean you will not get to pray the rosary or teach it to your children? These are some of the factors you have to consider

I suggest you talk to your father and try being empathetic, he may be feeling disappointed that you and your sister are changing your denomination. Secondly, pray that God should give him a change of heart if it is His will, good luck.

Pidggin:
Personally, my religion is like a tribe to me. I would prefer to marry a Catholic. But it seems this is not a big deal to you because it seems you are not really a practicing Catholic. It would be heart breaking for me if all my kids end up marrying outside the church. This is because my denomination is very important me

God told the Israelites not to marry outside their tribe because He knew that they will have to accept foreign ways of worship. For example the honor Catholics give to Mother Mary is different from what the Anglicans do, does this mean you will not get to pray the rosary or teach it to your children? These are some of the factors you have to consider

I suggest you talk to your father and try being empathetic, he may be feeling disappointed that you and your sister are changing your denomination. Secondly, pray that God should give him a change of heart if it is His will, good luck.

My fiancé is an open minded person and he has no problem with me attending a catholic church. But the wedding must be in his church. So u would prefer I marry somebody I don't love just cos he is catholic instead of marrying a person I truly love? The earlier we stop preaching hate and start preaching love especially in these trying times the better. As for my rosary, I will never drop it. NEVER!!!!!