Two-time cancer survivor Jay Siltzer says he now understands why he lost his wife Kelly to leukemia two years ago. "I don't think there's any doubt. I think it's clear why she went first – to be there for him," Jay tells PEOPLE.

In an incredibly heartbreaking and brutal twist of fate, Malachi, the couple's 8-year-old son died last week of brain cancer.

"He was confident that he was going to heaven, and he knew he was going to see his mom there," the grieving father says.

Jay, a veteran morning news anchor at WLOS, the ABC affiliate in Asheville, North Carolina, says his son had a powerful faith from a very young age.

"He had a terrible start to life in Ethiopia. His birth mom dies and he comes to America and his adoptive mom dies. I asked him, 'How can you still be happy?' He said, 'Because I know God.' "

Jay was first diagnosed with testicular cancer in 1999. He had surgery and radiation and was doing well until the cancer came back and he needed chemotherapy that doctors said would make it difficult to have kids.

He and his then girlfriend Kelly decided they would figure it out – together. They married in 2000 and spent five years trying to have kids until they finally adopted 1-year-old Malachi from Ethiopia.


Sadly, in 2011, when Malachi was just 3, Kelly was diagnosed with an aggressive and rare form of leukemia. She died in 2014.

Now just the two of them, dad and son grew even closer, both playing on each other's quirky senses of humor and love of practical jokes. The two were so funny together, Jay's Facebook posts turned into a book he self-published called The Book of Malachi, documenting their exploits.

"He made me a better person. He was outrageous. He was just my crazy kid," he says.

Then last November, Malachi woke up with a headache. It was a brain tumor. The second grader endured two brain surgeries and chemotherapy. He struggled to find his words and could no longer read, but he was getting better.His scans were clean. For a time.

"He was doing okay," Jay says. I had noticed there were some memory issues, but he completed second grade with his classmates and he had his first communion with his catholic school class," the 48-year-old remembers.

In June, an MRI showed the cancer had come back and spread throughout his brain. The doctors told the single dad all treatment options had been exhausted.

"I knew eventually it was probably not going to be good, but I was surprised it came back so quickly" he says quietly, pausing for a moment. "I had hoped we'd have more time."

On Tuesday, it was standing room only at Immaculate Conception Church as almost 800 mourners came to say goodbye to Malachi.

"It's humbling beyond belief," Jay tells PEOPLE.

"I miss him so much, but I wouldn't have traded our time together for anything."

The longtime newsman says going back to work where he is surrounded by friends and colleagues will help as he figures out how to go on.

"I have to find the strength to carry on, to preserve his memory by doing good for others," he says. "I just have to trust in my faith that good will come from this and it will reveal itself in time."

http://www.msn.com/en-us/health/wellness/cancer-survivor-loses-wife-and-8-year-old-son-to-cancer-i-have-to-find-the-strength-to-carry-on/ar-AAiH1lH?li=BBnbfcL&ocid=HPCDHP