With over 7 years of marriage, I had been searchingly for employment. Luckily, an opportunity came and a foremost financial institution gave me a job but had to post me far to a CORE NORTH city where the level of security is of concern. But being a family man in desperate need of a means of livelihood, I had to accept the offer believing sooner than expected, a new job down south would surface or better still, a redeployment would be possible down south.
Friends, I am close to 4years now in that region without any hope of being reunited with my emotionally tortured family members who miss me every minute of the day. I visit them like 4 times a year.
Now I am depressed now and can't continue this lifestyle as it has had adverse effect on my wife and my grown up kids who complain all time.
But I can't leave the job without another and I am missing my family, what do I do?

If u quit ur job they will still keep one kyn face at u still for not providing.




Look they should understand Abeg. Or if u can relocate them over, fine. Abi does your wife want u to be jobless forever? Mchew.

canadianboy:
With over 7 years of marriage, I had been searchingly for employment. Luckily, an opportunity came and a foremost financial institution gave me a job but had to post me far to a CORE NORTH city where the level of security is of concern. But being a family man in desperate need of a means of livelihood, I had to accept the offer believing sooner than expected, a new job down south would surface or better still, a redeployment would be possible down south.
Friends, I am close to 4years now in that region without any hope of being reunited with my emotionally tortured family members who miss me every minute of the day. I visit them like 4 times a year.
Now I am depressed now and can't continue this lifestyle as it has had adverse effect on my wife and my grown up kids who complain all time.
But I can't leave the job without another and I am missing my family, what do I do?

Long distances put a strain on any couple's relationship. If where you work is a red hot zone, how about having your family relocate to an hour away from you? Would that be any better?

Otherwise you'll have to consider increasing the number of your visits back home to at least once a month. So rather than take your annual leave in big chunks, take shorter and more frequent visits home to your family - in such a way you get to spend long weekends with them (Thursdays - Sunday's), monthly.

Op, I think ur arrangement is ok. D present security conditns isn't enof 4 u 2 relocate ur family 4 now, it's 2 risky. Also, going more often Dan 4 times a year, considering d state of our transport system & also d fares is 2 costly.
Just explain 2 dem, dey will understand. D best is 4 u 2 try & relocate 2 d south, pray about it, dere is nothing God cannot do. Nothing lasts 4eva.

dahmie2013:
Op, I think ur arrangement is ok. D present security conditns isn't enof 4 u 2 relocate ur family 4 now, it's 2 risky. Also, going more often Dan 4 times a year, considering d state of our transport system & also d fares is 2 costly.
Just explain 2 dem, dey will understand. D best is 4 u 2 try & relocate 2 d south, pray about it, dere is nothing God cannot do. Nothing lasts 4eva.

Thanks, I never relent in making efforts at relocating.

You mention that the children are grown ups?! i assume they'll spend more time in school for now. As such can your mrs move to join you while the children stay back in school and visit during holidays?

canadianboy:

Thanks, I never relent in making efforts at relocating.

why not relocate them to the nearest safe city up North. Even in Borno, some cities are still considered safe. Your relationship doesn't need to suffer much because u work up North

It's total falsehood to assume everywhere in the core north is unsafe. As a matter of fact only a few of the core northern states were under the siege of terrorism and even those have actually seen tremendous improvement recently. The media, largely control by the southerners, blow these things out of proportion.
Smh