December 2007, I was at the airport and I met this beautiful looking damsel at the lobby - she was just coming around with her luggage. I was tempted to help her but I was tired too. I couldn't take my eyes off her for a second and right there I began fantasizing making her exactly mine. She had very great physique any man would ever have wished for. I thought to myself I can't start chasing from there owing to my tiredness.

As fate would have it, I was sat and surprisingly but quietly, she was seated next to me. I couldn't muster a word. But one thing led to the other, we started conversing; we talked for about 30 minutes or so and we exchanged contact details. She's Australian in her early twenties. We hooked up later the next week, we talked, I took her out on a very long and interesting sightseeing. She loved every moment we spent, so did I. She returned to Australia a week later and we remained friends thereafter keeping in touch by e-mail, chats, phone calls and text messages - just about any means available to be in touch.

After a few months we both liked each other, subsequently we upped it to a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, which undoubtedly was sweet. She visited me a couple of times from Australia, more often than anyone would have agreed with (as if she was staying within a few thousand miles from me). When she came on each occasion, the least time she spent on one of the trips was 3 weeks and the most was 7 weeks. All in all, we were very intimate and rather closer that I often lost count that she stays in Australia. I was there, of course, four times but my stay on each visit was short. I met with some of her brothers - but it's not one of those official introductions, just a plain getting to know each other. We haven't come to the part of making it a full-blown commitment just yet at that time.

She had a few problems that I noticed but I hung on to see if she'll change perhaps I was too lenient to understand that it was her habit, but I gave her the benefit of doubt; also note that while I was doing the wait, I reliably told her what I don't feel comfy with about her but either she avoids it by giving me flimsy excuses or she just laughs it off as a joke (I did end up laughing with her a few times and that's about it).
I made it clear at other instances I didn't want the trend to continue. The problems were: firstly, she whines too much about very unimportant things -- I mean very nonsensical things that she could've looked over. For instance, one day we were talking and I wanted to watch a game -- the discussion wasn't too intense for me not to break it up then to get to the game -- so I told her I'd call her back after the game. She kept talking about how I ignored her because of that one incident.

Another problem she had was asking lousy questions. You know those kinds of questions you already know answers to but you just want to ask to irk someone or make them feel uneasy either intentionally or otherwise - whatever the heck she meant - and these were so annoying. She didn't listen to me too. She always thought her opinions were the best and each time she failed, she banked on me to rescue her, and while I'm on the mission of rescue, if I offer further advice she junks them and take up hers. She had this superiority complex - not confidence - that exasperated me and still does, to boundless limits.

To be succinct, I was checking my facebook profile one day and I saw she's added me as a friend. I wasn't hiding my facebook from her but I seldom visited it (I still do) - anyway, she added me, I accepted the invite and checked her profile. I looked at her relationship status and just as I expected it read In a relationship and my face beamed with a smile but I got the greatest shock when I found out my name wasn't on it, another dude's name was. I didn't say a word about it. I added the dude from another facebook handle and we got talking there, and note that this process took about a few weeks but I was patient to find out what's going on as I wanted to get her pants-down. Later on, he told me she was his girlfriend and that they live in the same province. I was disappointed than hurt. I confronted her and she had absolutely nothing to say than that she's sorry and it was a mistake. She started telling me I was more important than the guy in her life; that all her friends know about me (which was true) and so does the guy because she tells him I'm important to her (which was a lie) and he in turn accepted the fact but decided to roll along with her. I asked her why I didn't merit the spot on her FB and there was no concrete response to that.

On the go, we broke up and that was it. However, the problem I have right now is she keep stalking me on every social networking site I register on. She's traced me to Nairaland (but I won't reveal her ID just yet). I blocked her off my FB, YM, email addresses and tagged her as spam but every time she keeps creating new IDs to disturb my peace: calling my phone, sending me emails, buzzing my YM, sending me text messages, etc. Now, she's threatening that as long as she lives, she'll ensure I don't have a girlfriend unless we get back to dating again. This same girl goes around asking my friends to talk to me, so does she talk to one of my brothers to do same. I have repeatedly told her it's over but she appears not to care at all. . . . according to her, she still claims I have feelings for her but pretending because I was hurt by what she did (very laughable consoling opinion). This has been going on for close to one year.

Now, has anyone been in this position before? What did you do? What do you suggest? She's saying she'll fly to come see me, I don't like the idea and not that I'm going to be tempted but I'm just disgusted too much at her to even set my eyes on her. Do you think it's a good idea I let her come and sort this out in person? I don't want to fly there either, NOT even any of my options. What do you suggest be done?

Does anyone have a similar story? Just keep your comments coming.

PS: I've already moved past the relationship, I just don't like my peace being perturbed neither do I like my name being mentioned around a controversial case.

Sorry for the long post. I was trying to be as brief and as graphic as possible.

pele
the babe is really a stalker
just use your ignore button on her
pls let us know her NL id that way we can talk to her personnally 

mehn u r already into this!
nating u can do about it simply tell her boyfriend to advice her to free you!

i guess she has ended her relationship with the other dude, if so forgive her now. abi wetin. cant you see the girl they miss you and she dey craz for you.

Well, sorry for stalking you. Wnt happen again, mr-party-pooper

^^^ Excuse me

FL Gators:

Well, sorry for stalking you. Wnt happen again, mr-party-pooper

you are forgiven my dear
btw i love your recent pic

Gators, speaking of your new pic which I checked with reference from y_me, you look like one of my cousins - she's a wicked soul

TheSeeker:

Gators, speaking of your new pic which I checked with reference from y_me, you look like one of my cousins - she's a wicked soul

just spill it out and i promise you nobody is gonna bite you
you are digging the beautiful, Godsent angel(FL Gtaors)pic

^^^ Yeah?

TheSeeker:

^^^ Yeah?

nurrin do you
now back to the topic

OK. Back to the topic. . . . I'm on lockdown, yeah?

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

I've been in a similar situation whereby the other person thought that I was obsessed and crazy BUT I wasn't.

I can only speak for myself. Im not one to hate one after dating a person and just because we broke up doesn't mean that we CANNOT be friends, my problem is that its MUCH HARDER for me to let go if someone just cuts me off just like that; it forces me to want to communicate with the person. For me, as long as there is clarity that we are no longer dating, I am mature enough to respect boundaries, doesn't mean that we can't be friends or associate, we just won't discuss certain things.  I don't like when people turn the aftermath of a relationship into a HATEFUL/event

But then I understand NOW, that people are like that. They can wake up one morning and NEVER want to be contacted anymore doesn't matter if you have been nice/good  to them throughout the course of the relationship. But like I said, I can't speak for her, I only speak for myself.

My best advice is to IGNORE HER, not sure how well this will work because she's Australian and if she's white, some white people are CRAZY.

Have you tried talking to her about this ? or better yet, maybe introducing her to your new girlfriend if you have one.

Follow ur heart

^^^^^^^^what does follow your heart mean ?

You might want to start a 21 day fasting and praying session,

contact Pastor wowo,

tell the girl you have AIDS/an STD, < hehehe>

Posakosa, I feel where you're coming from. I have told her in the most respectful manner, many times that I've lost count, that we can't date anymore and matter of fact, I'm not interested in being friends with her. I made my stand known very clearly. I didn't mince words neither did I speak with tongues in my mouth. I expressly told her. I really don't have a problem with her wishing to have me back but I have a problem with her perturbing my peace. Imagine the number of text messages I got in less than 6 hours, 23. And yes, for the record, she's white.

first of all, you must have money plenty in your pocket to finance all these globe trotting u've described.

secondly, you do seem to be important to her. i mean why else will she she be spending months vacation with u from australia? unless she also has plenty money in her pocket. lol

and lastly, she added u as friend so, it seems that she really wasn't trying to hide anything from u. it also seems to me that you knew she had a guy but u just wanted your position to be greater than the other guy's rather than below it like u eventually found out.

I asked her why I didn't merit the spot on her FB and there was no concrete response to that.

^ NL quote of the year. my ribs are still hurting

sweetheart, this na A-level assignment oh . . . . wetin be as brief and as graphic as possible about this?

Please do not hesitate to tell her exactly how you feel, do not leave ANYTHING out . . . . feel free to even call her a few names lol . . . . . however, you also have the choice to ignore her.

oyinda.:

first of all, you must have money plenty in your pocket to finance all these globe trotting u've described.

secondly, you do seem to be important to her. i mean why else will she she be spending months vacation with u from australia? unless she also has plenty money in her pocket. lol

and lastly, she added u as friend so, it seems that she really wasn't trying to hide anything from u. it also seems to me that you knew she had a guy but u just wanted your position to be greater than the other guy's rather than below it like u eventually found out.

^ NL quote of the year. my ribs are still hurting

When did you return from that farm you were posted for internship?

[Quote author=oyinda]and lastly, she added u as friend so, it seems that she really wasn't trying to hide anything from u. it also seems to me that you knew she had a guy but u just wanted your position to be greater than the other guy's rather than below it like u eventually found out. [/Quote]

I didn't know about the guy until this happened neither did she tell me she was having a pending relationship. I was just surprised I saw that despite her holistic claims of loving and wanting me so badly; see, I didn't want to take it serious at first but then I thought, this is facebook, lots of people come on there and for her to have put him up there, he's hell of more important than I can ever be -- or is it because I'm black? I asked her.

I'm not that cheap to be a second boyfriend to a woman and definitely not a white woman. I've been there with them and done it, they are all the same but this one is definitely a case with the largest number of files.

NL Quote of the year? What's funny about it?

Secretz:

sweetheart, this na A-level assignment oh . . . . wetin be as brief and as graphic as possible about this?

Please do not hesitate to tell her exactly how you feel, do not leave ANYTHING out . . . . feel free to even call her a few names lol . . . . . however, you also have the choice to ignore her.

I'm trying to be a gentleman my beautiful angel. . . keep praying that I uphold the positive attitude

how can u not find the humor in it.
meriting the spot on her facebook seem to be the highlight of ur fault with her. plus the fact that u dated her for probably over a year and didn't know abt the other guy. kinda ironic and also tells a lot about the kind of r/s u have with her. well at least, the way you put ur story forward makes ur r/s with her seem very superficial. but i'm sure there are other deep aspects

TheSeeker:

When did you return from that farm you were posted for internship?

manure fertilizer is da bomb

oyinda.:

how can u not find the humor in it.
meriting the spot on her facebook seem to be the highlight of your fault with her. plus the fact that u dated her for probably over a year and didn't know abt the other guy. kinda ironic and also tells a lot about the kind of r/s u have with her. well at least, the way you put your story forward makes your r/s with her seem very superficial. but i'm sure there are other deep aspects

manure fertilizer is da bomb

'Meriting' the spot on her facebook was an attack line to combat her assertion that she loves me and that I'm more important to her than the other guy; the fault I picked evidently, was that she has another boyfriend. Maybe if I had suspected or doubted her I could have known a bit earlier. Trust me, I did see some signs but they were too minute for me to start digging deep into, and also I thought I didn't need to express any kind of doubt in any relationship I was and/or I'm in, not then, not now, not ever.

I couldn't have known about the other guy if I hadn't checked her facebook profile or if she hadn't carelessly put him on her profile. First of all, she lives in Australia, so is the guy and I don't live anywhere close to them. When I was there I noticed no trace neither was there anything for me to have suspected so. She just was successful at cloaking the whole omen but hey, shit happens. Players, even and very squarely, get played. I knew on time though, at least, I took consolation in the fact that if she was anywhere closer to me I'd have known the first few months.

lol.

players get played. meaning u were playing her?
anyways, u guys sort urselves out. lol

You always love putting words in my mouth rather than take them? I wasn't playing her and I didn't nurse such intention. I meant player in the sense of a smart person who usually is on acute alert, observant and watchful.

Dude, dont talk to her anymore, on the phone, on the PC, by fax, beeper or whateva. Just make sure u tell her not to forget u warned her!

Make it clear to her that u r no longer interested, she's thinking there might still be something in there for her. Get another girlfriend, get very public with her, make a stand about whose house it is, and who the guest is. . .  make it clear she's an unwelcome guest!

Do u have dogs? I dont mean tiny terriers, Do u have proper savage dogs, dogs that can be mean when u need them to, Alsatians, German shepherds, and mongrels of mastiffs and Dobermans? Get them prepared.

whitelexi:

Dude, dont talk to her anymore, on the phone, on the PC, by fax, beeper or whateva. Just make sure u tell her not to forget u warned her!

Make it clear to her that u r no longer interested, she's thinking there might still be something in there for her. Get another girlfriend, get very public with her, make a stand about whose house it is, and who the guest is. . . make it clear she's an unwelcome guest!

Do u have dogs? I dont mean tiny terriers, Do u have proper savage dogs, dogs that can be mean when u need them to, Alsatians, German shepherds, and mongrels of mastiffs and Dobermans? Get them prepared.

I don't respond to her anymore but her invasion on my peaceful existence? 34 messages and still more to come. . . crazy!

I have stated my stance time and time and time and time again but she's just too adamant. You think I'd let her come over and I invite my dogs for a very nice meal? Lexi, you're too bad but I might list that along with my preferred options.

Option 1. Call her nasty names - which I'm refraining from

Option 2. Invite her over and let my dogs make a feast on her; but how does that change her from stalking me? More than 11 websites and she's just there letting me know she's seen me and watching me I wish there could be an invented technology where I can shoot her from my computer

This happens from time to time - people not wanting to let go - when it is rather obvious that they should.

I had similar experience that resulted to a HOT WATER BATH but i would not want to bore you with the details.

My suggestion is for you to ignore her completely!

Your mistakes however was reveavling too much about yourself to her.
You should not have told her so much about yourself and your social networks etc.
I would not say that i blame you cuz people do the craziest of thing all in the name of love.

Another mistake is overlooking so many things about her that you noticed from the outset
with the hope that she would change!
People dont just change! They do the things they do not because it is right but because they feel that it is right
and until they feel otherwise, they will continue in that direction.

Dont be surprised if she comes to visit you but i will suggest you dont even stay under the roof with her;
if possible DRIVE her away from your house and go to an unknown place till she leaves.

It can really be annoying when people fails to respond to us they way we respond to them but we must move on and be the best that the ALMIGHT has created for us to be.

^^^ The traits I noticed could have been something else and not cheating, so it wasn't really much like I was expecting her to change but I was waiting on seeing if they'd be a little different or if they'd have to be habits. I didn't tell her about my social networks, not even facebook.

I couldn't have said I revealed beyond the ordinary, after all, relationship is all about openness. There's nothing she could possibly haunt me for and/or with, maybe I'm not comfortable with her running to my friends and brother about me after her horrible action -- I feel she doesn't deserve all the audience they give her too and I've sternly warned them not to pay her any sort of attention in the slightest the next time she does come to them.