You, ladies are in a better position to tell why it is like that with our Mothers, because you will also grow to become one.

@Op have u ever wondered why daughter in law go im mother in law house before marriage wash her clothes ,clean the whole house,cook for her and eventually she marries her son everything gets to a halt and even to go the mother in law house go be something

bukatyne:

Sign of a victory?

bone of my bone

Pidggin:
This is a classic case@pix

Women pretend a lot. They marry men who don't love them and they end up living a pretentious life. They endure pain in their marriages with the hope that one day they may be he will change. Then when he doesn't they substitute their sons for the intimacy with a man which they missed

Is this woman clinging to her son or husband?

That's definitely her grandchild..

raumdeuter:
The OP is really naive



ABove is a picture of an American movie about Mother in law probllems, In the OP opinion they probably learnt it from Nigerians

The question you should be asking is why women always have problems with themselves. Why dont we hear of husband vs fatherinlaw problems

The mother inlaws they are complaining about today also complained about their own mother inlaws like 30yrs ago, In another 30yrs another set of wifes would be complaining about this same set of women who are complaining abut their mother inlaws

God bless you for this comment. I hope they will become better mother in laws in their own time.

It's not easy na , to be with a kid for 20something years and one lady just come and still his heart...The thing is dat @ first it might not be easy for the woman buh later she would just accept fate...

The same way I love and value my mother is the same way I would my mother in law

Met my best friends mum was just excited because had alot to be grateful for that came through them so I was just smiling and looking back as we drove

She reminded me of my mum. No matter who you get as a mother in law remember what matters more is Love

I really won't stress over it just be natural and courteous God will do the rest

Most Mother-inlaws are good, the truth is that women hate themselves and many daughter inlaws are not ready to tolerate their mother inlaw and most times tags them as being bad without even knowing them well. My little advise is that a daughter inlaw today is a portential mother inlaw tomorrow so be rest assured, that the ways you treated your mother inlaw is the way your own daughter inlaw would treat you tomorrow period.

Benita27:
I noticed 80% of our Nigerian mother in-laws threat their daughter in-laws badly unlike their foreign counterparts, and this trend is so common,once a man says he wants to take you to see his parents instead of excitement a certain fear creeps in.
personally i'm not scared of meeting the man's father because i assume father's trust their sons to have made the right choices, but for the mothers is not usually the same, was able to ask someone if she felt same and she confessed feeling worse.
Why are our Nigerian mother in-laws so mean?.
Need your contributions, and Ladies how do you feel when getting to meet them?.

Cc: Aderola15.
Talk2Bella.
IamNawty.
Laveda.

Yeah. I think an Educated and civilised mother-inlaw will alwasy welcome her daughter-inlaw. But i no that 99% of. Ladies never prayed to hv mother-unlaws especially the those ladies that see her mummy to always have isssue her mother-law

Pidggin:
This is a classic case@pix

Women pretend a lot. They marry men who don't love them and they end up living a pretentious life. They endure pain in their marriages with the hope that one day they may be he will change. Then when he doesn't they substitute their sons for the intimacy with a man which they missed

Is this woman clinging to her son or husband?

I don't get you, she shouldn't love her son because he'd get married someday? So if I have a son and he gets married, I shouldn't gush over him no more?

Stop marrying boys still sucking their mama breast and asking her for pocket money. If I am feeding my son in future, God forbid though, I have a say in your home. So stop pushing your man to beg his family to feed you. Get a job or both of you should go and find farm work to do. Afterall no body ask una to marry yourselfs. The mother in-law was sitting in her house managing herself whether married or not, and you both decided to marry and put all your problems on her head. Why won't she put mouth in your marriage.

Aderola15:
Op, the fear of your mother in law is the beginning of wisdom. They can finish your marriage before it starts if you ain't careful. They will make you do the unthinkable when you can no longer take their shits, that in turn makes you the bad person to outsiders. My prayer is for my mother in-law to see me as her own daughter instead of a rival biko

Your last statement is the fact.
In my case, I just told mum I've found her a daughter and when I brought my wife home, mum loved her as her daughter. Though, the greatest thing also working for me is that mum is a Spiritual woman. That has really been more than a bonus to us. And I also ensure that she interfaces our family with mum than me. More so, mum is not a perfectionist and she loves all and sundry so much.
The problem with mother-in-laws is that their hubby never had the opportunity to curtail their over-bearing influences in the home. Such mostly made them principalities. And, I put it to all that women are highly vast in the politics of manipulations than men mostly due to the fact that they are very deep.
A smart man will first learn the politics of winning his mother's endorsement of his decisions so that his mum can trust his judgement about his wife and he must also learn the politics of winning his wife's heart too.
Essentially, a man must be a great politician who knows how to manage the interests of the 2 powerful goddess at his disposal. A war between them will always affect his life negatively.

Ma'am, why not just rephrase your headings. It is obviously not a "Nigerian thing" as you make it look like. And you saying the white are more liberal sounds more like you are taking side. You are not even living in the white man's land to be sure of that conclusion.

Benita27:
I am not of the opinion that foreigners are "angles", they're more liberal.
And the issue of "mean mother in-laws" is very common here.

dreezybines:
It's not easy na , to be with a kid for 20something years and one lady just come and still his heart...The thing is dat @ first it might not be easy for the woman buh later she would just accept fate...

Comments like this leave me confused.

Why would a mother think someone else stole her baby's heart? Is she sleeping with him?

SycophanticGoat:


That's definitely her grandchild..

Lol she has a husband but see how she is leaning on her son as if he is her life support, when the boy gets married she will now be in competition with her daughter - in-law, then the guy wouldn't be able to chose. Most MILs have bad marriages, no love from a man, or maybe she's a widow or single mother who didn't remarry.

Women who lack intimacy in their lives end up being bad mother - in-laws who can never be pleased

sweetcocoa:
Comments like this leave me confused.

Why would a mother think someone else stole her baby's heart? Is she sleeping with him?

She thinks she's married to him

Benita27:
I noticed 80% of our Nigerian mother in-laws threat their daughter in-laws badly unlike their foreign counterparts, and this trend is so common,once a man says he wants to take you to see his parents instead of excitement a certain fear creeps in.
personally i'm not scared of meeting the man's father because i assume father's trust their sons to have made the right choices, but for the mothers is not usually the same, was able to ask someone if she felt same and she confessed feeling worse.
Why are our Nigerian mother in-laws so mean?.
Need your contributions, and Ladies how do you feel when getting to meet them?.

Cc: Aderola15.u
Talk2Bella.
IamNawty.
Laveda.

So funny that we use to hear of ex-wife , ex-girl friend. But have u ever heard of ex-mother? No. Some ladies like a portion of bible that says ....and husband shall leave his family and cleave to his wife ? Thank God d bible didnt say forget or forsake ur family. Ladies fail to realise this fact hereby bcom hostile to her mother- inlaw. Yet the way ur hubby treat her mother is dsane way he will treat u.

If you born, hustle day, noon, night even in ur dream den an unknown lady comes to take away ur hustle u go know as e go b.

Benita27:
I noticed 80% of our Nigerian mother in-laws threat their daughter in-laws badly unlike their foreign counterparts, and this trend is so common,once a man says he wants to take you to see his parents instead of excitement a certain fear creeps in.
personally i'm not scared of meeting the man's father because i assume father's trust their sons to have made the right choices, but for the mothers is not usually the same, was able to ask someone if she felt same and she confessed feeling worse.
Why are our Nigerian mother in-laws so mean?.
Need your contributions, and Ladies how do you feel when getting to meet them?.

Cc: Aderola15.
Talk2Bella.
IamNawty.
Laveda.

Women generally fights themselves,not only in Nigeria. I read so many things about mother and daughter in laws relationships in www.familyparliament.com
I think all women should visit this forum to learn about family life

SycophanticGoat:


Na still una wey be girls dey grow into the mother in law..

Anyway, that's none of my business. My business is, why is it that over 90% of Nigerian wives treat house boys and girls terribly, as if they aren't humans but treat their children as if they're the best in the world, even if the children are terrible set of human beings?

Lol.
But i didn't say all, and not all women threat house boys/girls badly though is pathetic.

baby124:
Stop marrying boys still sucking their mama breast and asking her for pocket money. If I am feeding my son in future, God forbid though, I have a say in your home. So stop pushing your man to beg his family to feed you. Get a job or both of you should go and find farm work to do. Afterall no body ask una to marry yourselfs. The mother in-law was sitting in her house managing herself whether married or not, and you both decided to marry and put all your problems on her head. Why won't she put mouth in your marriage.

Funny dude.

sweetcocoa:
I don't get you, she shouldn't love her son because he'd get married someday? So if I have a son and he gets married, I shouldn't gush over him no more?

Does that look like ordinary love to you? To me it seems more than that, like she sees him like her "Man" the truth is that he is not her man, she has a man(her husband) if she didn't, I would advise her to remarry.

No one says don't love your son, but some women take it too far, he is not your husband, he will get married and leave you

My mother and my brother's wife were like girlfriends until cancer separated them by taking my mum.

I know that most mothers are always desirous of seeing their sons marry, how can they suddenly turn and be mean to their daughter in-laws.

Most times the daughter in-laws come with the notion that mother in-laws are bad, thereby treating the poor woman bad and of course there is always a reaction to every action.

Benita27:
I noticed 80% of our Nigerian mother in-laws threat their daughter in-laws badly unlike their foreign counterparts, and this trend is so common,once a man says he wants to take you to see his parents instead of excitement a certain fear creeps in.
personally i'm not scared of meeting the man's father because i assume father's trust their sons to have made the right choices, but for the mothers is not usually the same, was able to ask someone if she felt same and she confessed feeling worse.
Why are our Nigerian mother in-laws so mean?.
Need your contributions, and Ladies how do you feel when getting to meet them?.

Cc: Aderola15.
Talk2Bella.
IamNawty.
Laveda.

the truth about this case is entrenched in the adage that says " the executioner is always afraid , seeing a man with a machete behind him" . Most mothers have perfected the art of PRANKS and MANIPULATION on their husbands. they are usually not comfortable seeing that the same scenario is about to play out on their son, via a lady.

The prejudice /Notion that MIL are devil is not even helping matter atal. All thanks to Nollywood for their brainwashing. And for the supposed mean MIL, we all should be able to note that things have change so far, so much that a large vacuum of perception of how things should be is already existing. The older generation sees things from an angle that is way farther than the way youth of nowadays are seeing it,hence the conflict of interest along the way.

Mekky2010:
My mother and my brother's wife were like girlfriends until cancer separated them by taking my mum.

I know that most mothers are always desirous of seeing their sons marry, how can they suddenly turn and be mean to their daughter in-laws.

Most times the daughter in-laws come with the notion that mother in-laws are bad, thereby treating the poor woman bad and of course there is always a reaction to every action.

Ajinoride:




the truth about this case is entrenched in the adage that says " the executioner is always afraid , seeing a man with a machete behind him" . Most mothers have perfected the art of PRANKS and MANIPULATION on their husbands. they are usually not comfortable seeing that the same scenario is about to play out on their son, via a lady.

This explains a lot and thanks for the insight.

Some daughter in-law are mean now,once they get married name baba house den go visit..

Talk2Bella:


It's in our genetic code especially if he's an only son or only child, I de pity my brother babes dem de hear weeen anytime my mother sets eyes on them

Lol....for me....my mother doesnt give a Bleep...so long u can cook...coz am a dreadful cook!

Am happily married.. Always thanking God because my mother-in-law is actually a wonderful woman

Wifes quickly belive the vision or revelation that says that her mother-inlaw is a witch that u telling her that her own mother is a witch. Why ,?women wil easly tell her mother about anytin evn about her pregnancy. But she will keep warning u not to tell anybody from ur side including ur mother. because they belive that if any problem. Or spiritual attack happen its from ur family not her family. ? Are we men to totally deny our family because we marry? Many husband has become bad children to his family because he is tryin to please his wife and also many men have bcom bad husband just because he is please his family. They dont belive that they too have some lineage battle except from husband side. . Oga oooo

Afi "threat" noni

My Owerri babes how mahkit?

Is it only mother-in-laws? My aunt is insisting that her younger brother (my cousin) must not marry a particular lady because to her the lady is not ok for the brother. She keeps blaming me for not doing enough to dissuade my cousin. She is threatening not to be involved in their wedding. Funny enough their mother is in support of the relationship. I come dey wonder how the matter take concern me. Na me go tell the guy who to marry?