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The Best Atheist Quotes On Nairaland - Religion - Nairaland

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The Best Atheist Quotes On Nairaland by JackBizzle: 4:43pm On Oct 09, 2016
A Mr Karlovitch was asked why he stopped going to church and here was his answer;

Karlovich:
Because d christian god fcked someone's wife(mary) and threatned to deal with his husband (joseph) if he doesn't go ahead and marry her. he then murdered his bastard son when he turned 33 i.e the product of his adultery. Praise be to yahweh

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Re: The Best Atheist Quotes On Nairaland by hopefulLandlord: 4:45pm On Oct 09, 2016
el oh el

1 Like

Re: The Best Atheist Quotes On Nairaland by hopefulLandlord: 4:50pm On Oct 09, 2016
someone told SonOfLucifer that Jesus died for his sins and he replied with the below

sonofluc1fer:

Na, he died for his mistakes and joblessness.

A 30 year old man who walked into weddings and turned water to wine.. If na you, you go drink?
A 30 year old man who walked around with 12 men, just making noise up and dan the village, even spoiling market one day?
Im village people tire for the matter, carry the guy man hang for cross, u say na my sins im die for? No kill me with laff abeg.

Take a look at a map. You're in a small country off the coast of West Africa. Try to locate Israel on that map and estimate the distance between you and Israel. Think about the number of cultures, governments, people, histories and stories that you'd journey through if you were to trek to Israel by foot. So someone who was killed in one small village there was dying for your sins? I pity you.

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Re: The Best Atheist Quotes On Nairaland by Tallesty1(m): 4:51pm On Oct 09, 2016
Thank God I am not a Christian

2 Likes

Re: The Best Atheist Quotes On Nairaland by JackBizzle: 4:53pm On Oct 09, 2016
Mr Muskeeto was told that atheism is a religion by a christian.....his response;

Muskeeto:
Funny times we live in... When religions claim not to be religions, but attribute atheism as a religion.

It seems religion has become unattractive and repulsive to those who should treasure it most.

That's a good start.

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Re: The Best Atheist Quotes On Nairaland by JackBizzle: 5:26pm On Oct 09, 2016
Madcow telling his experience with religious zealots

MadCow1:



I have even been preached to inside an Aircraft right in the middle of a turbulence (No jokes this one).. angry The Plane was shaking like a tambourine at a Black Baptist Church and this dude next to me looks at me who was vibrating in fright and says "Should we die now, where will you spend eternity".. angry Like seriously Dude!! angry Right Now?! angry WTAF?! angry Meanwhile, MadCow is filing out his NYSC registration form and writes 'Atheist' in the religion column and the entire NYSC staff members take it upon themselves to either victimize me or convert me.. grin grin grin #TrueStory.

Anyways.. I was not supposed to type all this but I still find it hard to believe or agree that Unbelievers have grown to the point of now being considered a menace or a nuisance.

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Re: The Best Atheist Quotes On Nairaland by Nobody: 5:29pm On Oct 09, 2016
Ok
Re: The Best Atheist Quotes On Nairaland by JackBizzle: 5:31pm On Oct 09, 2016
grin grin

Whenever I enter a church and I see the pastor wearing a $700 suit with 4 bodyguards at his side, I wonder if the guy is ready to go to the heaven he preaches about- he doesn't want to die yet and he loves the material things (expensive clothes and shoes) in this material world

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Re: The Best Atheist Quotes On Nairaland by hopefulLandlord: 5:36pm On Oct 09, 2016
Theists ask why we talk about god(s) all the time

Imagine a world in which everywhere you turned, a belief in a literal Santa Claus was staring back at you. national Pledge “So help me santa” Imagine if when you went to a courtroom to testify, you had to put your hand on a copy of the book, “‘Twas the Night Before Christmas,” and say “So help me Santa” at the end of your oath. Imagine that town meetings all across the country started with the singing of the song “Here Comes Santa Claus” or “Santa Claus is Coming to Town.”
Imagine that everyone you know insists that you go to services at least once a week during which you write letters to Santa, and if you don’t, they tell you there’s something wrong with you. Imagine if the first thing that anyone asks you in a social setting is not about what you do for a living or some other question, but, “What have you written to Santa about lately?”

Imagine if you couldn’t go to a gym, or a coffee shop, without Christmas music being played in the background year ’round. Imagine if you couldn’t get your hair done, or go shopping, or go to a doctor’s office without having Christmas music playing, whether it’s Christmas time or not. Imagine if you tried to complain about it, or suggest that maybe some other music should be played, and people told you that you’re a terrible person with no morals for saying such a thing.

Imagine if friends and family shunned you because you had the audacity to say that Santa Claus isn’t real, that he doesn’t bring presents to children around the world at Christmas, and that to believe so is silly with no evidence to support that belief. Imagine parents of students at the school in which you are a faculty member saying that the fact you don’t believe in Santa frightens them, and that they don’t want their kids in your class.

Imagine everyone around you telling you that if you don’t believe in Santa Claus, you will spend all of eternity being punished by being submerged under the ice at the north pole, and poked by Santa’s elves with sticks.

Imagine everyone telling you to just shut up about the fact that you don’t believe in Santa, and to just go along with all of the nonsense, because to everyone else, Santa Claus is absolutely, positively real, and you can’t tell them anything different, and since the majority of society believes in Santa, you must follow what they do.

If you think this all sounds ridiculous or farfetched, this is exactly what it’s like living in Nigeria for people who aren’t theists. This is why we keep engaging in discussions about God. It’s because this idea—which other people seem to think isn’t any of our business—is all up in our business every day of our lives. That makes it our business.

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Re: The Best Atheist Quotes On Nairaland by RabbaRabbi: 5:41pm On Oct 09, 2016
When will this jobless ops above me stop been foolish and senseless?
Atheist ko? Athritis ni undecided

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Re: The Best Atheist Quotes On Nairaland by hopefulLandlord: 5:45pm On Oct 09, 2016
RabbaRabbi:
When will this jobless ops above me stop been foolish and senseless?

Atheist ko? Athritis ni undecided

25 Likes 1 Share

Re: The Best Atheist Quotes On Nairaland by JackBizzle: 5:50pm On Oct 09, 2016
If time travel exists then religion is false. Or better, I will make it false by going to the past to kidnap moses, Jesus and Mo

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Re: The Best Atheist Quotes On Nairaland by RabbaRabbi: 5:55pm On Oct 09, 2016
hopefulLandlord:

pain who?

Well, it pains me because you're ignorantly speeding up God's wrath upon yourself.

SMH for you cry

1 Like

Re: The Best Atheist Quotes On Nairaland by sonofluc1fer: 5:58pm On Oct 09, 2016
[quote author=hopefulLandlord post=50058306][/quote]
JackBizzle, e be like say person don trademark your meme. Can remember the butthurt you served me on that thread where you first used used it. angry angry grin
Re: The Best Atheist Quotes On Nairaland by CAPSLOCKED: 6:07pm On Oct 09, 2016
hopefulLandlord:
someone told SonOfLucifer that Jesus died for his sins and he replied with the below




LOL, THIS ONE SEF SMALL.
THE LUCIFER DUDE ONCE SAID JEES WAS A MERE CARPENTER WHO WAS NAILED TO THE CROSS BY HIS FELLOW CARPENTERS IN ISRAEL FOR BREAKING ONE OF THE RULES OF THE ISRAELI UNION OF CARPENTERS.. OR SOMETHING cheesy

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Re: The Best Atheist Quotes On Nairaland by Edenoscar(m): 6:35pm On Oct 09, 2016
When asked why people stop going to church this was hahn response

hahn:
Going to church to pray on Sundays is rude. undecided

The bible says in Genesis 2:2 "By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work."

Why pray on a day when god is resting. No wonder people's prayers never get answered. That is because god is on holiday and the office for answering prayers is empty. grin

It is better to pray on Monday because that is a working day and god and his angels will be at the office cheesy

People really need to read their bibles tongue

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Re: The Best Atheist Quotes On Nairaland by joseff14(m): 6:37pm On Oct 09, 2016
CAPSLOCKED:




LOL, THIS ONE SEF SMALL.
THE LUCIFER DUDE ONCE SAID JEES WAS A MERE CARPENTER WHO WAS NAILED TO THE CROSS BY HIS FELLOW CARPENTERS IN ISRAEL FOR BREAKING ONE OF THE RULES OF THE ISRAELI UNION OF CARPENTERS.. OR SOMETHING cheesy
grin grin grin [quote author=CAPSLOCKED post=50058917]

1 Like

Re: The Best Atheist Quotes On Nairaland by Edenoscar(m): 6:41pm On Oct 09, 2016
RabbaRabbi:


pain who?

Well, it pains me because you're ignorantly speeding up God's wrath upon yourself.

SMH for you cry
hopefulLanlord you're seeking yahweh wrath..Hahahaha
Re: The Best Atheist Quotes On Nairaland by RabbaRabbi: 6:45pm On Oct 09, 2016
Edenoscar:
hopefulLanlord you're seeking yahweh wrath..Hahahaha
come... You follow them? angry undecided
Re: The Best Atheist Quotes On Nairaland by EyeHateGod: 7:42pm On Oct 09, 2016

7 Likes

Re: The Best Atheist Quotes On Nairaland by hopefulLandlord: 8:37pm On Oct 09, 2016
RabbaRabbi:


pain who?

Well, it pains me because you're ignorantly speeding up God's wrath upon yourself.

SMH for you cry

your pathetic excuse of a god can only speed up wrath

he can't speed up the end to world hunger, cure for HIV or cancer
or speed up amputee's limb growing

your god is one malevolent, incompetent and idiotic god

tell him to speed up his wrath against me, I should die before tomorrow

18 Likes 7 Shares

Re: The Best Atheist Quotes On Nairaland by winner01(m): 8:49pm On Oct 09, 2016
Truth has its way of bubbling up above falsehood over longer periods of time.

Atheism, throughout the history of humanity, has gained little or no traction, wherever it did it eventually collapsed (most atheistic countries of the 20th century are back to their default setting even after thhe forceful imposition of atheism on them).

Theism is growing by leaps and bounds, and atheists detest that. Thats why it has to mock, deride, ridicule and insult religious beliefs and its adherents to stay relevant.

So friends, this is my favourite quote below. Try not to die grin grin

2 Likes

Re: The Best Atheist Quotes On Nairaland by winner01(m): 8:53pm On Oct 09, 2016
hopefulLandlord:


your pathetic excuse of a god can only speed up wrath

he can't speed up the end to world hunger, cure for HIV or cancer
speed up amputee's limb growing

your god is one malevolent, incompetent and idiotic god

tell him to speed up his wrath against me, I should die before tomorrow

You will die eventually, so relax. He is only being merciful to you.

Evil exists in this world, and we know why. We were not promised an evil-free earth.

By the time you die, your family will give you a befitting christian burial, I just hope you rest in peace.
Re: The Best Atheist Quotes On Nairaland by Nobody: 11:42pm On Oct 09, 2016
hopefulLandlord:


your pathetic excuse of a god can only speed up wrath

he can't speed up the end to world hunger, cure for HIV or cancer
or speed up amputee's limb growing

your god is one malevolent, incompetent and idiotic god

tell him to speed up his wrath against me, I should die before tomorrow

God is not malevolent my brother but a God of mercy. We all deserve to die because of our sin but He still show us mercy.

I can sense your soul groaning for repentance but the devil has taken complete charge over your life and convince you that you don't need it but tell the devil to flee from you and he will flee. Scream "Jesus!! PLEASE COME INTO MY LIFE EVEN THOUGH I DON'T DESERVE YOU" and he will come in seconds.

Winner01 was onces like you and he said worse things about God than you but look at him today, God has shone him mercy and God is telling you're the next to obtain mercy but you need too accept it. It can't be forced on you.

One secrete you dont know is that God loves sinners more than the righteous for Christ did not come for me or Winner but for you.

Hopeful landlord you have a chance to become the new light of the world. Do you accept that chance?

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Re: The Best Atheist Quotes On Nairaland by hopefulLandlord: 11:57pm On Oct 09, 2016
Jesuobu:
God is not malevolent my brother but a God of mercy. We all deserve to die because of our sin but He still show us mercy.

I can sense your soul groaning for repentance but the devil has taken complete charge over your life and convince you that you don't need it but tell the devil to flee from you and he will flee. Scream "Jesus!! PLEASE COME INTO MY LIFE EVEN THOUGH I DON'T DESERVE YOU" and he will come in seconds.

Winner01 was onces like you and he said worse things about God than you but look at him today, God has shone him mercy and God is telling you're the next to obtain mercy but you need too accept it. It can't be forced on you.

One secrete you dont know is that God loves sinners more than the righteous for Christ did not come for me or Winner but for you.

Hopeful landlord you have a chance to become the new light of the world. Do you accept that chance?

12 Likes

Re: The Best Atheist Quotes On Nairaland by joseff14(m): 12:19am On Oct 10, 2016
[quote author=hopefulLandlord post=50067020][/quote] grin
Re: The Best Atheist Quotes On Nairaland by AwesomeDuru(m): 9:47am On Oct 10, 2016
cheesy So loving it!
Re: The Best Atheist Quotes On Nairaland by JackBizzle: 12:49pm On Oct 11, 2016
When you tell a recession beaten atheist about spiritual spouses

JackBizzle:
Spirit spouses?

What about spirit sugar daddy or sugar mummy that gives spirit dollars? We need abeg- recession dey affect us!

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Re: The Best Atheist Quotes On Nairaland by Niflheim(m): 5:42pm On Oct 12, 2016
If Atheism were true how come there aren't many of them? This guy never fails to disappoint me in the following areas:

1.Lack of reasoning

2.Promoting Lies

3.Waste of school fees

4.Pride in stupidity

So you mean to say that when there were fewer christians on Earth,it was false?!!! Or that if 95% of christians around the world are suddenly wiped out in an Ebola plague, it will magically become false?!!!

Are you not the one who said that he was searching for an ant with a human head?!!! And you said that Evolution will become real only when "baboons start to squeeze lemon juice on their sardines before eating them?!!! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!

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Re: The Best Atheist Quotes On Nairaland by hopefulLandlord: 12:44am On Oct 15, 2016
joseph1013:
[b] YAHWEH vs AMADIOHA

What is the difference between Yahweh and Amadioha? Nothing, they are both gods.

What is the difference between the speaking in tongues of a “born again” Christian and the incantations of a Juju worshipper? Nothing! They both speak gibberish in the name of talking to gods.

What is the difference between the sacrificial rituals in the bible and the sacrificial ritual of the African traditional worshipper? Nothing. They are both rituals.

What is the difference between the Pope’s regalia and the Juju priest's regalia? Nothing, except the Pope's regalia shines more.

What is difference between the statues, symbols, altars, and signs in churches and the idols and symbols in the temple of the juju priest? Nothing.

What is the difference between a pastor casting out demons and evil spirits with swearing, binding/casting and the exorcism of evil spirit by the Juju priest? Nothing.

There is only one difference - packaging! No religion is superior to another. Foreign religion appears to be more divine than our local religion simply because they are well packaged.

Force me to choose one of the two, I like the fans of Amadioha more. At least I know our politicians fear him more.
[/b]

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Re: The Best Atheist Quotes On Nairaland by hopefulLandlord: 12:45am On Oct 15, 2016
Niflheim:
If Atheism were true how come there aren't many of them? This guy never fails to disappoint me in the following areas:

1.Lack of reasoning

2.Promoting Lies

3.Waste of school fees

4.Pride in stupidity

So you mean to say that when there were fewer christians on Earth,it was false?!!! Or that if 95% of christians around the world are suddenly wiped out in an Ebola plague, it will magically become false?!!!

Are you not the one who said that he was searching for an ant with a human head?!!! And you said that Evolution will become real only when "baboons start to squeeze lemon juice on their sardines before eating them?!!! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!


Hehehehehehehehe

that guy that asked for ant with human head is one massive joke

6 Likes

Re: The Best Atheist Quotes On Nairaland by hopefulLandlord: 9:08am On Oct 15, 2016
joseph1013:
[b]WHY DID SCIENCE HAVE TO GO AND MESS THINGS UP FOR RELIGION?!

Had it not been for science, the earth would have still been flat: We would have had to put an iron fence around the edges to prevent us from falling off.

Had it not been for science, the sun would still be orbiting the earth: The sun would still be going down into the sea at nights to cool off so it could get a fresh start the next morning.

Had it not been for science, the stars would still be little holes in the floor of heaven, so god could spy on us here on earth.

Had it not been for science, the moon would still have its own light; and would not have to sell its light to the sun.

Had it not been for science, unicorns, talking snakes, and talking donkeys would be our favorite pets: Dogs and cats would have to quickly learn how to speak if they wanted to remain our favorite pets.

Had it not been for science, we would have the softest angel feathers in our pillows instead of goose feathers.

Had it not been for science, fish would still have the right to rent out their stomach as luxury living quarters for human-beings to live in for more than 3 days. There would be no homelessness on earth.

Had it not been for science, people would still be using their heart to think. And those people who are today living with artificial hearts would be considered "brainless."

Had it not been for science, thunder would still mean that god is just moving his furniture around in heaven.

Had it not been for science, people who suffer from epileptic seizures would still be posses by ghost, and could only be healed by drinking holy water.

Had it not been for science, I would be posting this status update by messenger pigeons, instead by the internet.

I could go on forever, but I am positive that you get the idea by now. If it was not for science, religion would make the world a much better place to live...

SCIENCE--SHAME ON YOU![/b]

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