If anyone ever want to experience REAL LOVE he/she must endeavour to eliminate the following traits as much as possible. The more of these traits the less of real love anyone will be able to give or attract - they all have an INVERSE/INDIRECT relationship with real love

1. LIES: This is the biggest barrier to Real love. It's the opposite of love, hatred is not. It's hard to love someone you lie to. The more you lie the less of love you have. When you lie you are protecting your own interest and not the other person's interest. The individual will notice it and will reciprocate - that is how the game begins. If you really want Real Love stop the LIES (including Deception, Insincerity and Secrecy).

2. FEARS: Next to Lies is Fear. People who have fear can hardly exhibit true love. Love bring confidence and trust which make things stay positive. The moment fear gain access, distrust follows, puncture your confidence and deflate your trust. Negativity begins to gain ground and that's how problems start - Your love is choked up. If you have a relationship that is constantly putting fears in you rather than confidence it's a big warning signal. You may want to vacate the relationship completely or resolve the problem of your fears before you take a step further.

3. WEAKNESS: This is another big hurdle to scale in your quest for real love. Love is established on actions beyond what you say or promise to do. Your promise must be backed with actions. Now action does come by itself. You need capacity (physical, mental, social, financial) to act right and big. The stronger you become the better you become at expressing your love. You need to deal with your frailties, weaknesses, limitations, incapacitation etc to be a better lover

4. IGNORANCE: knowledge they say is power. Knowledge empower us to act right and better. Maya Angelo said "I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better". Basic lesson: no one can rise above the level of his/her knowledge. Ignorance, however is not an excuse - no one will spare you because you chose not to seek wisdom. Learn more about love and how people who have succeeded made it as you go along on that journey (whether you are about to start a relationship or you are in one already). Loving truthfully is a skill you need to acquire.

5. NEEDINESS: Love will demand a lot from you. Anyone coming into it with a lot of dependent or parasitic attitude is likely to make a big mess of the whole transaction. Love is sweeter between two independent people or people without any form of complex (superior or inferior) who need the other person for survival or to feel important.

6. INDISCIPLINE: This is another trait bedeviling people's love life today. I see lots of people who can't hold themselves - people with no grip on their emotions, anger, sex drive etc. No boundaries, No rules - anything goes. Self control is a big plus to love. If you don't have it, you need to get it. If your partner does not have it you need to insist he/she gets it. Self control is just inevitable to have a peaceful life

7. SELFISHNESS: This is a big spike that punctures couples loving mood. When things has to be done you own way. When only your idea is logical. When you put your interest above that of every other person. Watch it! The path you are walking does not lead to love.

8. INDIVIDUALITY: This is a variant of selfishness. But this talks more about your ability to cooperate and team up with others. You must be able to see the big picture - how the whole thing is connected and serving one purpose. How your own life is connected to the life of your children and spouse, then to that of your immediate and extended families and then to the society at large. So many people desert their marriages today over little altercation with their spouses. In the end, its the children that takes the hit and also, it creates a dent to the social fabric.

SELF - PROTECTION: A relationship where couple are not down to earth with each other is going nowhere on the journey of love. Until couple learn how to become vulnerable to each other and depend on the partner to have ones back, they will keep missing it rather than hitting it. Love will accept you with your past (sins and wrongdoings), weaknesses... Whoever is ashamed about these areas of your life is not really made for you. I am not canvassing for reckless disclosure anyway.

DULLNESS: As said earlier, love is founded on actions. Love makes you keep acting. If your imaginations are dull and shut down you need to wake it up. Love can't survive where things are dull and passive. All woman love guys who are Romantic - who can put their imaginations to work to bring out special feelings and moment of love. Likewise, men love their ladies to take the initiative atimes. Married men will tell you they don't like the situation where they will be the one to always initiate s3x. The lady too should make the first move atimes. Moreso, they should be actively involved.