Gassa007:

Shame on women(betrayals) like you, that are hellbent on seeing the downfall of their husbands. Control freak oshi

dealslip:


I hope you aren't a woman. You seems not to understand. There is a common denominator in all the cases. The men would not allow their wives to fly because they are insecured about their wives higher earning power. You can not control another being, you can only control yourself. Most of you think that because you facilitated that your family leave together in the same location abroad with you, then your wives must submit their dreams and aspirations to you.

dealslip:


I hope you aren't a woman. You seems not to understand. There is a common denominator in all the cases. The men would not allow their wives to fly because they are insecured about their wives higher earning power. You can not control another being, you can only control yourself. Most of you think that because you facilitated that your family leave together in the same location abroad with you, then your wives must submit their dreams and aspirations to you.

Gassa007:

Submit dreams as how All we need is respect but when you are willingly to give us that in the name of US law then you should also be to withstand the beast side.Are you trying to say those men(mentioned in the article) don't know that their wives will earn than them after paying and labouring to see them through Nursing school they develop wings.Just imagine someone's labour all his years in US will be given to one ungrateful bi*atch.

sonnie10:


Did you read the article? It only highlighted the fact that the men do all these because of difference in pay scale which usually results in disrespect by the woman. Except you are privy to more information about these cases I do not understand what you mean by disrespect on the side of the men. Anyway, lets not add more unfounded allegations on the men. But first I have to declare my unequivocal stance on murder and killing. I don't get me wrong, I totally condemn any act of violence. However, the point I continue to focus on in this matter is whether it is justifiable for the men to demand equal access to the family's total income, no matter whose paycheck it was? My untainted answer is a capital yes. As long as he is committed to the family, has invested time, energy and is accountable for every penny spent, denying him that privilege could be rightfully interpreted as not being submissive. When people make marriage vows the say, "in richness and in poorness, yes I do."

FortuneTeller:


You have made my point. You want a woman to be remain "submissive" which means giving a man all of her earnings. Most Nigerian men making $31/hr will not give their wife unrestricted access to their earnings. When the tables are turned and a woman is placed in her new role, you should expect that she will act as a human being in her new role. No one is saying they won't share money. However the high earner is already paying the majority of the bills and family expenses. The high earner is going to expect the low earner to use a portion of their own earnings for things they would like to do. When a Nigerian man builds a house, it is his house and not his wife's home. Now do you expect a Nigerian woman to give a man all of her money without building a home or providing something for her family? Do you expect her to have nothing if the man leaves or becomes unbearable? I'm sure you do because it is the Naija way. For people with an unyielding Nigerian mindset, it's best they remain in Nigeria.

kid7soccer:
pls read the topic before u comment and don't be bias in ur comments. This topic is about women who were taken to america by their husbands, sent to school of nursing and once the became nurses began to maltreat/ oppress their husbands. Do u justify their actions, nobody is in support of violation of women, a man must treat a woman right and she must do the same to him. Let us stop dis nonsense and stop causing little kids to grow up in broken homes. If u don't like a man don't marry him is it by force, if u married him stay with him "for better for worst, till death do u path" I grew up with no father, women raised me and i love them. But a man has his place in the home, also the woman. I speak based on bible principle. U can support carb all i care but i wish my dad was der when i grew up. If only the women that do this will consider the effect it will have on their children all in the name of American life style. Marrying a man because he will take u to america is it right in the first place

vineyardfarms:


The USA Laws Operates Deferently From The Laws In Nigeria. It Is Women World.
Simply Walk Away And Start All Over. It Does Not Worth It.

ttmacoy:
You really have no proof of that do you? That they loved and respected each other.

He went to the village to marry her which suggests they didn't really even know each other so it's hard to conclude they loved and respected each other. She probably was excited to marry someone from abroad and he probably was happy to get a wife after so long.

I agree there are instances where women act up after improving but many times the man is the one who lacks the maturity and self confidence to deal with it. i can easily see how he could be jealous and resentful after the girl he brought from the village is now earning more than him and more exposed while he has been here for 30 years?

Excuzeme:



Hmmmm......

Unfortunately, once that opportunity is lost on a child, it can never be regained again!
I hope "wives" will put this into consideration, but who-sai?

I have read a lot of women thrash the Bible, just because they want to be "independent" of their husband's influence over them.
I have read some have debased and insulted the Nigerian/African culture, just because they think it is inline with Bible principles on the marriage
I then beg the question: if you cherish independence so much, why not consider to remain unmarried to a man?

Trying to eat your Cake and still wanting to have it, is the epitome of GREED and AVARICE, which is what this women are trying to do.\

FortuneTeller:


As a Nigerian woman living in the America, I know this is rarely about a woman trying to oppress the husband. It is about Nigerian men wanting to live by the same rules of Nigeria. Do you expect a woman making $31/hr to hand over her paycheck to her husband in the name of respect? Do you think a woman earning her own income has to put up with a man cheating and bringing STIs to her front door? It may be ok in Nigeria, but it won't be ok in the US. Nigerian women do not have to suffer through marriage under US law. They do not have to be mistreated by their husbands in the name of false respect. Respect goes both ways, but SOME Nigerian men cannot handle this. It doesn't matter if he brings Ifeoma from the village. When she realizes she is contributing equally to the marriage, she will request equal respect as a human being.

shuggah:

which part of the story did u read?? a woman u brought to America, suffered to send to school nw graduates and because she earns more than u starts misbehaving and goes for a divorce leaving with all u eva laboured for, is it the story u read? or another one? if yes and u still gave that comment then u re stupid.

kid7soccer:
for you to talk of income means u dont understand what a family is. A man and woman will leave their parent and become one, it means they have to share everything and do everything together and create a family based on understanding of each other dat is y it called a home. A woman must be respected same too with the man, be a man must be given some benefit of respect as he is d head of the home. Look at any godly home u will see a submitive wife even if the husband is a lion it is the woman that keeps the home. Women must no dis. As a woman marry a man u can live with not a man that can satify ur needs, cause anyman can satify ur need but only 1 man can live with u in peace. 1 man, 1wife that wat the bible said. If i get married tomorrow i expect my wife to no how much i earn and i, the kids d same, so that we can build our home together marraige is not a bed of roses but it take two people to make it special dat wat a home is

sonnie10:


The type of women I am concerned with here are those that, once they start making money in their matrimonial home, right away they remember that they have a 40 something years brother who needs to buy jamb form and also have his college tuition paid. And you won't be surprised that her husband is struggling to buy new pairs of boxers or change his worn out car tires. Now you expect him to continue as if all is well, or better still work for "his own money" right?

FortuneTeller:


As a Nigerian woman living in the America, I know this is rarely about a woman trying to oppress the husband. It is about Nigerian men wanting to live by the same rules of Nigeria. Do you expect a woman making $31/hr to hand over her paycheck to her husband in the name of respect? Do you think a woman earning her own income has to put up with a man cheating and bringing STIs to her front door? It may be ok in Nigeria, but it won't be ok in the US. Nigerian women do not have to suffer through marriage under US law. They do not have to be mistreated by their husbands in the name of false respect. Respect goes both ways, but SOME Nigerian men cannot handle this. It doesn't matter if he brings Ifeoma from the village. When she realizes she is contributing equally to the marriage, she will request equal respect as a human being.

cyrilamx:
in every life facet, there is control...even in animal Kingdom. Why do companies have span of control and not let everybody act with his/her discretion since we all reasonable and matured adult as colleagues?
A man must have authority over his home that include his wife...am not canversing for dictatorship in the home, rather mutual respect based on our roles and man and wife at home. The pro-women law in western society is the reason of too many broken homes. We continue to read horrible stories like this as long as the fat earning salaried wives employ the female chauvinistic laws to torture their hubbys. It is sad.

Ngokafor:






.....Okay sorry about the 'get a life' statement..it was uncalled for..

......but you are still wrong with your postulations..This news is more of a dent on the Nigerian males rep than the other way round cis i know that foreigners read all we post on Nairaland and form their opinions about us from here too.A good number of them do not excuse gruesome murder like the average Nigerians does as you can see from this thread...fact.

..The truth of the matter is that it is only a wicked,controlling man who maltreats women or his wife that will be cautious like you said..there are countless Nigerian couples living amicably in the US because they respect eachother and the men are not control-freaks the way many are here, even those who do not contribute a dime to the up-keep of the home.


....because of the toxic environment in the name of culture in which the average Nigerian males are used to here which favours them...most of them find it difficult to cope and behave well in sane,normal soceity.They just seems to have a problem with everyone and everything!!...

..They come back home to marry because they believe that home girls are more amiable and can be bossed around easily than tear eye 'akatas' or oyinbo...fact!...and ofcourse their homebased wives have to study Nursing or be a Nurse when she gets to America simply because of the earning power of nurses in America...is that not predatory?.

..Anyway as Nigerian males are migrating to the US ,i can assure you that Nigerian ladies are too(i know a lot who will leave by December this year,both married and single)...


...Rather than whining about how they brought their wives to America only for her to 'misbehave'..i am of the opinion that Nigerian males should change their mindset about marriage giving them the 'lord and master title' regardless of how bad they are


....I know that most marriages of American women and Nigerian males ends in divorce as well..hence their(and the singles) rush back home,only to have same problems again..the fault is in you guys and not Nigerian women.

..have a good day.

MattFreeman007:
Fellow Nairalanders, this is not a passover story; i have a brother who has passed through hell in this similar case. He Brought his wife a Nurse in Nigeria To US and registered her there to become A Registered Nurse There, but after this same woman of five children became RN, She Started Flirting And Made Life Worthless For The Husband...Uncle Benji Suffered Hell; He Lost His Home, Lost Custody Of His Children, He was subjected To Payin over 1500 dollars For child support every month or face deportation. He abandoned his House Project in the village And He is now a Begger there in US....My People, Those Kind Of Women Deserves To Be Crushed In Mortar And Pistle...That woman, came from a wretched home that had issues for three square meals and yet, this my uncle made life worthwhile for them...And She Messed Him Up Like That...It is worth more than killing ..!!!

Gassa007:

If I'm the one,I'll return to Naija and look a strong witch doctor. You what's next na.Feminist oshi

cococandy:
What the cause of the many broken homes in Nigeria?

cococandy:

DICKtator:


Lool. This is quite funny though.
Why?

You can cheat on a Nigerian woman (excuse my stereotyping!!!) and all she would do is cry,seek God's face or at worse, pack out.

Cheat on whitey (just looking at another woman), she would divorce your a.r.ss.e and take everydamn thing!!!
That's if she doesn't kee you.

Guys that choose the whitey know what they really want!!k

buJu234:
but come oo...

why will a naija boy leave all the many naija single babes whom are based in same abroad with them; and come back to Nigeria to pick one Adanna/Yemisi/Aisha etc for a wife? is that not madness?
cos if you talk 10 dem go talk 10 000

in this 21st century that most ladies see a man as an ATM machine?

better still marry a white girl..
white girl no go gree come naija with your children
i think its foolishness and medicine after death to kill or fight an african woman that u brought from the village to abroad..?

gone are the days that they say when a woman is married she leaves her family behind to join & prosper the man`s family. These days they carry their own family cross first before the husbands cross.

FortuneTeller:


And this is why Nigerian society cannot progress... No one wants to be under your foot! Women have the same emotions as men. You should be helping each other and respecting each other. Once women obtain equal rights, they exercise their right to having equal respect as a human being, not as a slave to a man. No one is going to wear shackles when freedom is given to them. The Nigerian mentality is crippling to our society.

FortuneTeller:


This post is the real explanation for why Nigerian men murder their wives in the US. They don't want to give equal respect to women as human beings.

Amelian:




That's why there are lots of successful single ladies out there, most men are not willing to marry them.. Their success is a total turn off for most Nigerian men.. not their success
Their non domesticness Even though when the men know, these successful ladies are good wife materials, how can
When they refuse to cook or clean or fork
Instead challenging man upandan
they will turn a blind eye, and marry a graduate or even school drop out they feel won't make head way in life financially.. they are domesticated
That's what all men want
Only broke lazy guys look for made women to be collectiNG money from them
Thank God, younger guys are now getting married to older successful ladies..
That's the reality we face in Nigeria and even Nigerians abroad..
What a mentality amongst our men. just watch and see what these young guys will take these girls eyes to see
You can't cheat nature
Basically poor guys should not get married

FortuneTeller:


As a Nigerian woman living in the America, I know this is rarely about a woman trying to oppress the husband. It is about Nigerian men wanting to live by the same rules of Nigeria. Do you expect a woman making $31/hr to hand over her paycheck to her husband in the name of respect? Do you think a woman earning her own income has to put up with a man cheating and bringing STIs to her front door? It may be ok in Nigeria, but it won't be ok in the US. Nigerian women do not have to suffer through marriage under US law. They do not have to be mistreated by their husbands in the name of false respect. Respect goes both ways, but SOME Nigerian men cannot handle this. It doesn't matter if he brings Ifeoma from the village. When she realizes she is contributing equally to the marriage, she will request equal respect as a human being.

Amelian:




Thank God you are sincere about it.
Before I use to think, there was something wrong with me. Someone suggested I may have a spiritual husband, lol but I said have never dreamt of a man sexing me in dream. Another said I have very high expectations.. I laughed again, cos I know I have simple tastes and am not waiting to marry dangote nor his sons.. People come up with different excuses and reasons. After a while I sat down to study my past relationships and dates.. And the reactions that follows every withdrawal and breakups.. I then saw the truth.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with me, at least am not perfect but my mistakes are simple mistakes we make everyday as a human being.
I looked at married men and the kind of wives they end up with..and their mistresses outside the home.. I simply watch and study and I got the answer to all the questions in my head, of why there are lots of single successful ladies everywhere.

Ladies who are still single, successful and good at heart.. Nothing is wrong with any of u.. Simply be the best u can be, and trust me a guy who deserves your goodness will notice and want to be with u for life. He can be younger, he can be way older like dad's age ...not to worry... Simply choose.. . But don't let the age of the young man discourage you, as long as he has prospects and he's hardworking with a job.. You guys are good to go.

Amelian:




You can but your request is coming in late.. am already dating a younger guy, who believes in me, trust me completely and he couldn't believe am still available when we met, Even till today, he chips it in, once in a while.. When we go on dates, older guys stare at him angrily, lol...he has gotten use to the stares.. He's no longer bugged about it...
It's good for someone to have a companion who truly cares .. It's a good feeling.

Amelian:





Honestly there's nothing wrong.. And getting the luxuries themselves thru hardwork and resilience should be commendable by the men.. At least we are not leeches, looking to suck every blood out of a guy's bank account.. So what the heck are their problem?
They complain if their wives who is not working asks for money you lie
We complain wen you pervert more than our pockets
They still complain and grumble when they meet a successful lady, who pays her own bills herself.. we complain wen you don't do your wifely duties
It amazes me sha, back then Ooo. But not any more.