First of all I will like to say thanks for reading this post. And pls don't mind my English writting.

Here I go,

I met my girlfriend in the year 2008, after couple of months she told she was an orphan and had no family in Lagos,  I told her no to worry that I will always stay by her side that I am not going to leave her bcoz she was an orphan. Later I realised that she was living alone in a room selfcontain, i was bothered and I called up for a rendezvous to ask Who was responsible for her living expenses. She didn't lied to me- she said it was her EX that pays her house rent and all. She told me that her EX family doesn't want him to marry her becoz she was not from a yoruba tribe, but her ex family doesn't know about her ex paying the house rent. So her ex ask her to look for another guy since he's not going to marry her. Then was when I met her. She introduce her ex to me- I and her ex met face to face and we had a nice chat that day. But my problem is that,  Her ex still come to her house sometimes he passes his night in that house, right on the same bed , this baffles me alot that I get mad at her whenever I saw that guy in her apartment. but my GF keep promising me that there's nothing like sex between them anymore,  but ppl, how do I beleive this is true. Girl can be trickish you know.

I am sorry, I think I am writting alot. I need good advice please. What do I do?

Thanks for reading

U want to send a man away from a house he paid the rent?Na wa for u O!o!O!.Wait for the current rent to expir,so dt ,u will pay ur own and take charge.hahahahahahahahahah Mad man!They sleep on d same bed yet nothing sexual and u believed the two of them,mu!mu!mu!mu!mu.

well that is inappropriate behaviour, regardless of if they are still having sex or not they both should respect you by not sleeping on the same bed and what is he doing sleeping over for? i always like giving girls benefit of doubt when it comes to cheating cos i can't get my head round why a woman would ever want to cheat on a man she loves but this story sounds suspicious!

Get her another place and start paying the rent only then will u have moral authority to question her.

chaircover:

I dont think she is telling the whole truth & there is more to the story than she is letting on.

Its not normal to sleep on the same bed with an Ex.

Thanks so much. But what do you think I should do? Do I ask her to tell her ex to stop coming to that apartment or what? Advice

justwise:

Get her another place and start paying the rent only then will u have moral authority to question her.

i second this comment

you dont expect her to tell the guy who pays the house rent to get out, do you ? @poster

femilaur:

Thanks so much. But what do you think I should do? Do I ask her to tell her ex to stop coming to that apartment or what? Advice

do what is right before you start questioning her

Eaglebabe:

U want to send a man away from a house he paid the rent?Na wa for u O!o!O!.Wait for the current rent to expir,so dt ,u will pay your own and take charge.hahahahahahahahahah Mad man!They sleep on d same bed yet nothing sexual and u believed the two of them,mu!mu!mu!mu!mu.

Lol. Your first sentence makes you sounds nice, but I never knew you are dumb ass stick. I am sorry.

Thanks for replying anyway.

y me:

i second this comment

you dont expect her to tell the guy who pays the house rent to get out, do you ? @poster
do what is right before you start questioning her

Thanks so much. You guys are intelligent.

when i think about ur story, i begin to pity u , i begin 2 feel sorry 4 u & hope when u do wake up frm u mumunism u will go look 4 anoda girl & leave this tin & her ex alone

POSAKOSA1:

[i]Her EX is definitely phucking her Can you afford to her rent ? If you can, take up the responsibility. Until then, this girl will do ANYTHING for the man paying her rent and trust me nothing comes for FREE. [/i]

OMG! I am beleiving you. Thanks so much for your levelheaded advice. Ofcourse i can afford to her rent. i surely can, but what if she ask me to let the present rent due before getting her another apartment. What do I do to that?

Adice

skynefe:

when i think about your story, i begin to pity u , i begin 2 feel sorry 4 u & hope when u do wake up frm u mumunism u will go look 4 anoda girl & leave this tin & her ex alone

Do you think breaking up is the solution? It's not as if I am MUMU. OK

femilaur:

OMG! I am beleiving you. Thanks so much for your levelheaded advice. Ofcourse i can afford to her rent. i surely can, but what if she ask me to let the present rent due before getting her another apartment. What do I do to that?

Adice

Pay the EX the difference of what you owe and let him carry on. Then she will have no excuse to have him around unless she still loves him of course.


You don't have to rent her another apt, you can continue paying the rent of where she is if you can afford it. The EX just won't be responsible for her anymore.

POSAKOSA1:


Pay the EX the difference of what you owe and let him carry on. Then she will have no excuse to have him around unless she still loves him of course.


You don't have to rent her another apt, you can continue paying the rent of where she is if you can afford it. The EX just won't be responsible for her anymore.

Ok, But do I need to talk about this with my girl ONLY or include her EX in the meeting?

Her EX has nothing to do with ur relationship. This is only a conversation between you and her. However, if you are a struggling/broke/poor man she will probably tell you NOT TO WORRY ABOUT HER RENT.

POSAKOSA1:

Her EX has nothing to do with your relationship. This is only a conversation between you and her. However, if you are a struggling/broke/poor man she will probably tell you NOT TO WORRY ABOUT HER RENT.

Yes, I can afford to rent her a new apartment and also can afford to continue paying the rent she is now. But which do you think it's better?

femilaur:

Yes, I can afford to rent her a new apartment and also can afford to continue paying the rent she is now. But which do you think it's better?

Talk to her first and see what she says.

you can also surprise her with a new apt on her birthday or on your anniversary together.

POSAKOSA1:

you can also surprise her with a new apt on her birthday or on your anniversary together.

Hmm, That's a good Ideal. I will talk her about it tonight.

Can I reach you on phone. You are an awesome man

femilaur:

Hmm, That's a good Ideal. I will talk her about it tonight.

Can I reach you on phone. You are an awesome man

If you can afford it, then do it for her.

POSAKOSA1:

If you can afford it, then do it for her.

Alright! Thanks

femilaur:

Hmm, That's a good Ideal. I will talk her about it tonight.

Can I reach you on phone. You are an awesome man

Yes she is an awesome man :

justwise:

Yes she is an awesome man :

_{why you dey pour sand for my garri}

POSAKOSA1:

_{why you dey pour sand for my garri}

Hahaha, i go talk if u no give me ur number too

poster how can u tell owner of the house to stop coming to his house

justwise:

Hahaha, i go talk if u no give me your number too

lets talk on YIM.

Thanks All.

Stella N:

poster how can u tell owner of the house to stop coming to his house

I was just assuming, what's your own suggestion?

POSAKOSA1:

lets talk on YIM.

Send me ur ID i will add u

im hardly on yim though. did u get that ?

POSAKOSA1:

Added. Hope thats real ID

In the first instance you chose to go into the relationship without properly understanding what's going on between them both. This is not tricky, it's very direct, all you have to do is knowing what you want and how to go about it. You can't tell her to tell the guy off because she's got no choice - I won't say you've got no money to give her for her rent because that's not your responsibility yet unless, of course, you want to engage yourself in her problems (which is quite normal considering her status: orphan).

On the ex-boyfriend's part, I think he's just getting services for the rent he's paid otherwise I don't see why he should spend the night there even after you've met him in person and he knows you're the current boyfriend; I think it's very low of him to descend to that point of spending the night with her because he ought to know how exactly he's going to feel, but you have to understand that no matter how stale or extinct a relationship may have gone, in such instances, they still got flames for each other but are victims of tribal circumstances and that in no way can never oust the feelings and love they have for each other -- you didn't exactly put this into consideration. There is a difference between breaking up by consent and breaking up circumstantially.

As for the girl, I don't know what exactly to say of her but in my opinion, she doesn't respect you in the least. Saying there's nothing going on between them is pure lie and a blatant one at that. Putting up such bogus lies in your face is playing up on your intelligence and maybe possibly, manhood. There's no way she can prove there's nothing going on between them all through the night and gosh!! did you expect her to tell you they were having hot sex? Come on!!! Think!!!!  In my opinion, I think you're in this relationship because you pity on her condition not because you necessarily love her and that is a big problem for you if you don't curtail, shuffle and differentiate your feelings and know what's right to do.

Why does the guy come there to spend the night? Because he paid the rent or because he doesn't have a place to sleep?
If she was in another apartment you paid for, will the guy still have access to sleep there? If no, why?

If you put together responses to this questions together, you'll figure two things out: Disrespect and Infidelity!  If she has to answer this question honestly, ask her: If her ex's parents are to allow their son to marry her and get on with their lives, will she accept him back? The answer I see here is yes and if she's honest enough, she'll tell you.