COPYRIGHT ©2018

Yusuf Olatunji

This short story is a work of fiction.
Names,characters,places and incidents are either a product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.Any resemblance to actual people living or dead, events or locales is entirely coincidental.

All rights reserved.This work is solely that of the author and no part of this story may be reproduced,stored in a retrieval system or transmitted by any means or in any form,electronic,mechanical,photocopying,recording or otherwise,without the express written permission of the author.

MY BIRTHDAY WISH:A HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME

It was night already,after the family reunion dinner which went its usual course,with me being the subject of almost every family discussion at the table,until I couldn't take their constant jeerings any longer.I finished my meal in haste and excused myself from the table,packing my plates to the kitchen.As I went away from the table,towards the kitchen,someone,maybe one of my cousins could not help but make a stupid joke about me eating so fast so I could retire to my eremite cave.This of course,brought a great howl of laughter from those at the table as every joke about me was worth laughing at.Their laughter had caused a welling up of tears which clouded my eyes,but I had let the equanimity in me which I had developed over years of tolerating their annoying acts take over me,letting me compose myself enough to prevent me from taking to my heels,as this would lead to another set of stupid jokes and a greater howl of equally stupid laughter.

I just don't understand what I had done to them,to deserve this type of attitude they display towards everything that has to do with my personal life.I just don't understand the problem they have with my self-love and self-imposed seclusion.I knew with more than enough conviction that I had the best of genes from my family lineage,my handsomeness,intelligence and acuity superseded that of everyone of them by a wide margin and not in any case as far as I can remember,have I ever repressed any of them with my natural inheritance.That was not the trouble they had with me,it was with me always being alone and shunning normal conversation with everyone,always locking myself up researching and inventing things they consider in most cases to be utopian,even though the results of most of these researches are the bedrock of the family current ample fortune,they considered that I wasted my natural inheritance except my genius in my self-imposed isolation.

My quick wits and great cunning,which I occasionally contributed when matters got really serious,had gotten ideas into their heads to install me as the chairman of our business conglomerate,a position which I had immediately declined.This hadn't riled them as much as I thought it would,since it was a decision made solely in consideration of the family's continued prosperity in both good and trying times.

It never ceases to amaze me though,with the way they take matters when it comes to my personal life,the way they put on their acts was like that of a molder,taking every opportunity available to shape my life the way they deem to be fit.It usually galled them when it came to my handsomeness,especially my randy and vain family members who thought I wasted my handsomeness in my eremite cave.

All these I thought about as I sat on my bed,my knees to my chest and my arms encircling my knees.Then I came to the same conclusion I have always arrived at:they all think they have a right to control how I live my life.I remained this way until it was 12:00 am then I looked up at the ceiling as one would do when beseeching the almighty for a favour.I had one wish I always asked to be granted every birthday and this year's wish will not be different.I said it again as I had done for eleven years now "When I wake up in the morning,I want the whole world to myself." I said the same wish,with the hope that it would be granted by any supernatural who happens to care.I slept off after taking my rejuvenating pills,with the hope that this time around someone will at least care.

I woke up to the repeated ringing of my alarm clock,I sat up instantly,my eyes free of the grogginess of sleep,I stopped the alarm clock and got up from bed.I decided to walk to the dining room,to behold the aftermath of yesterday's dinner and what I beheld was exactly what I expected.A mess,a total mess,no one had bothered to clean up,as easy as the task was.I activated the AI cleaner with the press of a button and in less than a minute,there was no evidence that a large dinner took place yesterday.

I went to the parlour to watch some inspirational movies,something I occasionally do on family holidays.I later switched the channel to a cartoon channel,something I know will cause an outburst of laughter enough to shake the whole building,if one of those idiots happen to walk in on me,with a shake of my head and a sigh,I watched on.I watched the cartoon shows till I got bored.I then switched it to a wrestling channel,at least if one of them happen to walk in on me,no crazy laughter will rent the air.

It happened that the wrestling channel held me captivated,with the series of interesting matches.The professional wrestlers dazzled me with their skills and charisma,even though their actions felt akin to violence,something I really dislike,I knew for certain they were all safe.These professional wrestlers and the matches held me under a blissful spell,to the extent I wasn't cognizant of my immediate surrounding.

I noticed the unusualness when I raised my head to check the time on the wall clock.It was 09:00 am already and no one seemed to be at the parlour by now.I stood up from the chair to check around the house,for the cause of this anomaly.I looked from room to room,discovering another strangeness,none of the doors were locked.How unusual was all I could think of,as I found no human in any of these rooms I opened but all had evidence of recent human occupation.

After the futile search,I went to the security console with my laptop in hand.I checked the security footages to see if they were hiding somewhere but it was not so.Everyone went into their rooms after retiring from the dinner table and never came out of their rooms.I connected my laptop to the console,and scanned the footages for any evidence of looping or any dangerous jockeying,although sure that hardly anyone of them was capable of such marvel,even I who designed the system will have a hard time performing such wonder.When I saw there was no such thing,I tried a little ace I had up my sleeve,I checked the life scanner and bio-signature scanner,I had surreptitiously installed everywhere in the house.I was sure that what no one knows about they can do nothing about,but its own footage also showed the same thing as the security footages.

I was beginning to think about my wish as all this was inexplicable under any normal circumstance.I immediately rushed to the parlour to check through every live news channel and all I received was a blank on the screen.I checked through every blog,forum and news site,both large and small for the last updates and posts and all the ones I found were before 5:00 am when I woke up.Social medias were the same too,no account was online.As I took all these in,I could not help but jump up and shout "Yes!" in elation.

I knew for sure now,that someone had cared and granted my wish.My joy knew no bounds,I am finally free,I thought to myself,free from my important obligation to humanity,I need no longer worry myself about anyone who got sick or dying as a result of an untreatable disease or condition,I need no longer blame myself for anyone who died as a result of me being unable to find a cure to a disease,I need no longer feel bad about people who my philanthropy can't reach.I am free at last.

Today,I will enjoy life as I know it should be enjoyed,with no one blaming me or getting in my way,chastising or castigating me,I will enjoy life till the end of time.

I bolted out of the house into the close the house is situated.I went to the nearest Shopping mart,and found the door unlocked,I went in and was greeted with the sight of snacks upon snacks and drinks upon drinks with no human in sight and proximity.I smiled to myself and went on a wild snacking and drinking spree.I went through the mart,carefree eating and drinking all I could.

I got tired of this after having my fill and went back to the house with a shopping cart full of snacks and drinks.I plugged in a game console and played as much game as I could while continuing the snacking and drinking.I finished gaming,took a bicycle and rode as far away from the house as I could and rode back again.

I did this over and over,then switched my ride to the fastest sports car in reach,I drove it to the main road and did what would have been impossible on a road,I accelerated to the highest air-speed,exactly a thousand mph,then released the car,I drove straight at this crazy speed for as long as I wanted,stopped then drived back at the same speed.

I was having it all crazy,until the euphoria burned out.I have never done any of this crazy act in reality before but surprisingly I found it exhilarating and fun more than it felt in virtual reality.The fun was all gone now and I couldn't help but hope people were still around,even though all I did alone now was fun,I felt the need for someone to be there with me to feel the thrill together.This thrill was in no way like the one I feel when I make a breakthrough in any of my researches,that feeling of personal achievement I bask in.This one feels too much for one person to handle,one person with no chance of sharing the thrill with another.

m here with all the supports

TRUCE20:
m here with all the supports

Thank you.

No space, no paragraph

There was a story here before but all that is here is now a new short story,please read and make your comments on the piece.

Life with no caution and self-preservation,which is my idea of enjoying life,can only be applied when one knows with certainty,one is no longer mortal and have reached the peak of ones life achievements with nothing else to do,like me.

I felt that without someone to share this thrill with,the fun isn't complete,without that feeling of rebellion one feels when going against authorities,there is no fun.I begin to miss other humans,I begin to feel real loneliness coming from the knowledge that I am the only human left,that no one will ever chance upon me,that no one is out there,except me.I begin to wish everyone was back even my family members.

It came like a bright flash of light and I begin to see other humans as an aftereffect of the light.Then I begin to hear the ringing sound of my alarm clock,this time I woke up to the real world and not a dream world,like I have been in all this while.I went to my room's door and opened it,the sight I was greeted with seemed more unrealistic than my recent dream.I had to pinch myself,blink my eyes to be sure I wasn't asleep.

Two of my younger sisters were in front of me,with a wide grin plastered on their faces,they had on their heads,birthday hats,on which was printed in bold the words:Happy Birthday Robert.I try to remember the last time my family members had celebrated my birthday in this style,that was like twelve years ago.Their style all these years had been to prank me,like my birthday was April fool's day.

Both of them took my hands and led me along to the parlour,which had been designed with every birthday prop imaginable.I tried to think of what elaborate prank they have cooked up this time around as they sang the Happy Birthday song.Both of them led me to the table,on which was a beautiful round cake on which was lettered in icing the words:

COTILLION ROBERT @ 25
HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
LONG LIFE AND PROSPERITY.

There were twenty-five candles circled round on the cake all lit.They stepped back from the table and gestured me to make a wish and blow out the candles.I made my wish that the human race never face extinction,more prosperity to the family and a happy birthday for myself,then blew out the candles.As I did this,the cake blew upon my face,and I knew instantly it was a prank.On a normal day,I would have gone back into my room but now I have made the decision to come out of my self-imposed seclusion.They are not getting away with this,it is time to speak to them in the only language they understood.As they laughed themselves away,I took the remains of the cake and plastered it on the face of the mastermind of the prank,the one who detonated the cake bomb,my elder brother.

As I did this,I saw the shock and surprise on their faces, as none of them ever thought this was going to happen,but their mien was soon replaced with a grin,and another round of laughter began.My brother not being able to take their laughter,took a cookie box and hurled it at me but I was lucky and had ducked as I saw his movements,my cousin on the other side of the table behind me was not so lucky,as the box met him full on the face and the rest they say is history.When the throwing and ducking had died down and everyone was sitting here or there weak with exhaustion,the parlour was a mess,but it was a happy and beautiful birthday for me.

THE END.