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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Is Feminism Really Destroying Marriages In Africa? (3640 Views)
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Re: Is Feminism Really Destroying Marriages In Africa? by Feanah(f): 9:50pm On Nov 02, 2016 |
But the truth is some women are taking the feminism thing too far....I don't support oppressing women at all,and I believe a woman should know and stand up for her rights....but some things being done in the name of feminism don't make sense at all. 1 Like |
Re: Is Feminism Really Destroying Marriages In Africa? by joseph1832ng: 9:52pm On Nov 02, 2016 |
Feanah:Some things like what and what? |
Re: Is Feminism Really Destroying Marriages In Africa? by joseph1832ng: 10:03pm On Nov 02, 2016 |
Amicable24:Yes it's a man's world, so they say. But believe me, nobody if holding you back from living your life the way you want to live it. Remember the saying "respect is reciprocal". I always tell people: "show people how you want to be treated". Lemme borrow the signature of creme de la creme friend creamish: "one will be regarded as sh1t when one look and act like sh1t, and sh1t knows no class". That's just the truth of it. 1 Like |
Re: Is Feminism Really Destroying Marriages In Africa? by bukatyne(f): 10:06pm On Nov 02, 2016 |
@OP: I do not think feminism solves the martial issues highlighted in the OP; after all, women who see themselves as 'inferior' cheat/defraud/lie their spouses. I know someone who would cringe at the thought of men & women being equals yet she has to be cajoled before stocking the home with food and she is a housewife and I am sure there are men who see their wives as inferior yet treat her like egg. As much as I'm a feminist, I don't process if we are 'equals' before treating my husband well ditto him. That is just for knowledge's sake. Like sisisioge said, find a good man who loves you & shares your ideals. 2 Likes |
Re: Is Feminism Really Destroying Marriages In Africa? by bukatyne(f): 10:09pm On Nov 02, 2016 |
bitchcrafts: Interesting Why? |
Re: Is Feminism Really Destroying Marriages In Africa? by Feanah(f): 10:39pm On Nov 02, 2016 |
joseph1832ng:So many things, I'm not an advocate of feminism when it comes to family.Like women not cooking for their husbands and taking care of their house like they should.They take these things too serious and it ends up affecting their marriage attimes.Doing these things doesn't make you look like a slave,it's only bad when he doesn't appreciate it.For me,I'd rather both parties retain their position in the family setting but respect each other.I remain the wife,and he remains the husband and breadwinner;two heads can't rule a family equally.What I can't take is you disrespecting me in anyway. I come back late at times from work or I'm very tired when he's at home ,nothing wrong with him going into the kitchen to cook something for us.I need to tidy up the place or do the dishes,instead of him watching the television,he can help me out...and we do everything together while talking about how our day was.He's in a financially tight situation,I help him with what I can for the family.I think it's all about understanding though some men can be difficult. Funny thing is some women who seem to support the equality thing , don't think it should be an 'equality' thing when it comes to providing for the family. I don't know whether I'm the one who got the equality thing wrong or them. 6 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Is Feminism Really Destroying Marriages In Africa? by joseph1832ng: 11:34pm On Nov 02, 2016 |
Feanah:Ah! The truth at last. Such women are liars and deceivers of themselves and other foolish women. |
Re: Is Feminism Really Destroying Marriages In Africa? by pocohantas(f): 11:35pm On Nov 02, 2016 |
Feanah: I don't know who is getting the definition of feminism wrong, but from my own understanding it simply means, treat me first as human, don't stereotype me because of my sex, give me a chance to prove myself. Feminism didn't ask any woman to neglect her home o... Some people are equating feminism to arrogance, probably because of the kinda feminist they have seen or their understanding of feminism...which is wrong. Feminists can have happy homes contrary to popular belief. Any woman that does any of those things you mentioned is simply a bad example of a wife. She could be a feminist or not. There are women in the village who know nothing about feminism putting up worse attitude. It's all in the mind. 8 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Is Feminism Really Destroying Marriages In Africa? by Joy1706(f): 11:37pm On Nov 02, 2016 |
oloyede252:Where did I write about my parents marriage? You must be blind 3 Likes |
Re: Is Feminism Really Destroying Marriages In Africa? by Joy1706(f): 11:39pm On Nov 02, 2016 |
raumdeuter:They are definitely happier wives abroad. It's not all about the length of a marriage 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Is Feminism Really Destroying Marriages In Africa? by oloyede252(m): 11:43pm On Nov 02, 2016 |
Joy1706:you don't need to write it, you said Nigerian marriages is nothing to write home about and o guess your point of view is shaped and influenced by your immediate environment (your family ) 2 Likes |
Re: Is Feminism Really Destroying Marriages In Africa? by oloyede252(m): 11:46pm On Nov 02, 2016 |
Joy1706:can you prove your first sentence 2 Likes |
Re: Is Feminism Really Destroying Marriages In Africa? by talktonase(m): 11:52pm On Nov 02, 2016 |
Man and woman were never created equal and for feminism to be screaming equal rights then the natural order of things has been destroyed... 1 Like |
Re: Is Feminism Really Destroying Marriages In Africa? by Nobody: 1:01am On Nov 03, 2016 |
Feanah:I love you sis |
Re: Is Feminism Really Destroying Marriages In Africa? by raumdeuter: 1:06am On Nov 03, 2016 |
Joy1706: What kind of contradiction is this They are happier in marriage yet they're divorcing in droves. Why would they be divorcing if they're happy in it. It's like saying you enjoy this food yet you're it in the trash 3 Likes |
Re: Is Feminism Really Destroying Marriages In Africa? by armyofone(m): 3:50am On Nov 03, 2016 |
The idea of husband and wife working and bringing home the bacon while teaming together to raise their kids and build a home is not feminism but teamwork in our present day marriages. So African men would rather go hang out with friends, drinking beer to stupor, eat suya and toasting chics while their working wives do the homework and raise kids alone? 5 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Is Feminism Really Destroying Marriages In Africa? by Feanah(f): 4:46am On Nov 03, 2016 |
pocohantas:I get your point |
Re: Is Feminism Really Destroying Marriages In Africa? by Feanah(f): 4:49am On Nov 03, 2016 |
joseph1832ng:they are |
Re: Is Feminism Really Destroying Marriages In Africa? by Feanah(f): 4:50am On Nov 03, 2016 |
Lawlahdey:I love youuu too 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Is Feminism Really Destroying Marriages In Africa? by Nobody: 5:19am On Nov 03, 2016 |
Feanah: Well said sister!! |
Re: Is Feminism Really Destroying Marriages In Africa? by joseph1832ng: 8:00am On Nov 03, 2016 |
Feanah:That's nice to know. If you live by what you say and believe it, one man out there will be lucky to have you as a wife. |
Re: Is Feminism Really Destroying Marriages In Africa? by YourCoffin: 8:48am On Nov 03, 2016 |
Me, I abhore feminists. I have always been anti feminism. If that makes me an oppressor, I wholeheartedly accept. I think a new label should be invented. This feminism label no longer holds water 2 Likes |
Re: Is Feminism Really Destroying Marriages In Africa? by bukatyne(f): 8:59am On Nov 03, 2016 |
pocohantas:@Bold: Absolutely armyofone: @Bold: Well put 1 Like |
Re: Is Feminism Really Destroying Marriages In Africa? by bukatyne(f): 9:00am On Nov 03, 2016 |
YourCoffin: Oya start |
Re: Is Feminism Really Destroying Marriages In Africa? by YourCoffin: 9:25am On Nov 03, 2016 |
bukatyne: :DD That's women's purview. Men are novice when it comes to invention of labels. We just determine which one still holds water or not 1 Like |
Re: Is Feminism Really Destroying Marriages In Africa? by Nobody: 10:30am On Nov 03, 2016 |
The most over-flogged topic on Nairaland darkens our doorstep once more with its redoubtable shadows. Shall I entertain it for a while, or cause it to go like the velvet on a young stag's antlers? ... Feminism is a noble cause, and any woman who claims to be non-feminist needs to be enlightened and warped out of that fog-shrouded haze of ignorance. The only problem with feminism are the feminists themselves who are terribly flawed as a result of their being human, and thus, creaturely susceptible to humanly pratfalls and errors. Feminists should endeavour to screen out the unmeet essentialism they attach to feminism, along with the footling practices vis-à-vis gender equality that they are most times guilty of. Like plunging headlong into a bitter spiel about man-spreading, and free-bleeding, and so on and so forth. All that sort of funk and jazz only help in furtherance of the trivialization of the cause rather than in giving it a boost. If we could all see ourselves first as humans, and have dealings with ourselves as human-to-human without the gender polarities coming into play, then this ‘battle-of-the-sexes’ nonsense that is so preeminent in this comtemporary time would long be whelmed in a sweeping deluge of inexistence. 4 Likes |
Re: Is Feminism Really Destroying Marriages In Africa? by bitchcrafts: 4:23pm On Nov 03, 2016 |
bukatyne:Like every other -isms and -schisms, this is also liable to abuse. So many ladies outchea plot, in the name of feminism, to enslave men. Unyielding to pressure and slavery stances, marriages break. Even over such miniature issues as ''You should help in the kitchen if you want yo dinner" when evidently the man has been lapped off every remaining wits by the Lagos scorching sun all day , battered so, all he ever could "listen" to is food in his belly... So many deluded , coldly heartless young maidens outchea than you can imagine hiding under the umberalla of liberal freedom and equality feminism fiercely campaigns madam. 1 Like |
Re: Is Feminism Really Destroying Marriages In Africa? by ElsonMorali: 5:12pm On Nov 03, 2016 |
I see feminists everywhere. Women these days are becoming more feminist and less feminine. I wonder what's attractive in a feminist. Your destiny is not about proving that you are better than a man, it's about showing that you can be a better woman than you already are. As far as I am concerned, being feminine is a lot more attractive and compels respect and love than being a feminist. There's nothing like gender equality, but gender equity. Treat a man like a man, and treat a woman like a woman. Simple. 1 Like |
Re: Is Feminism Really Destroying Marriages In Africa? by ElsonMorali: 5:23pm On Nov 03, 2016 |
Feanah: While I agree that the man should man up and do whatever it takes to make the life of his woman a lot easier, which includes making dinner once a while, bathing the kids, changing their diapers (ewwww), rubbing her back and giving her a massage, generally treating her likehis queen that she is, yet I think we all know why men are reluctant to do these things. You cook once, next thing she's gonna draw up a roaster of some sort sharing kitchen duties with you equally. And when you don't do it she gets miffed. I'm not married, but from my interaction with married friends, that's the idea I got from them. You bathe the baby once, then it becomes your life long duty and she'd be pissed at you if you fail at it. Thank God we don't have breasts. We may end up sharing breastfeeding duty too. |
Re: Is Feminism Really Destroying Marriages In Africa? by Amicable24: 5:41pm On Nov 03, 2016 |
joseph1832ng:Nice one.. Where I find fault is when one demands/commands a lot of respect from the other whereas he/she is not respectful.. 1 Like |
Re: Is Feminism Really Destroying Marriages In Africa? by Feanah(f): 6:42pm On Nov 03, 2016 |
ElsonMorali:. |
Re: Is Feminism Really Destroying Marriages In Africa? by ElsonMorali: 8:57pm On Nov 03, 2016 |
Feanah: I'm not against men helping their wives. Anyway, a little advice to young ladies about yet to marry. Don't go into marriage with such expectations that your husband MUST help you out in the domestic chores. Because more often than not you'll be disappointed. If he does help out, then be grateful that you have a man who is wonderfully caring. We aren't plenty like that out there. But we are there. 1 Like |
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