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Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by Nobody: 9:39pm On Nov 12, 2016 |
Madam thewife306, u are trying o If I were the one, first instinct.. I will shout back and warn him never to shout on me. With the first reaction he will. Calm down.. And rethink everything over. What kind of rubbish is that? U are not a kid. First action and counter reaction would have stopped him from doing it over again. Now only God knows how u can make him change.. U r trying 12 Likes |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by Nobody: 10:04pm On Nov 12, 2016 |
One thing I hate is public disgrace, I really can't stand it or tolerate an atom of it I will just divorce him sharply, no wasting time 3 Likes |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by soonest(f): 10:05pm On Nov 12, 2016 |
baby124:I second this @ thewife306 |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by sisisioge: 10:18pm On Nov 12, 2016 |
Whew! Lubbish! Since u already expressed your feelings and he's still not yielding you really need to bring on the attitude too. It is not courteous one bit to shout at anyone at all let alone your spouse! Since the dude says that is how he expresses himself, pls follow in his footsteps. The next time he shouts at you, biko shout back! Of course, that would annoy him but it would encourage him to retake the talk with you. If it doesn't affect him, then you don enter one chance be that. 4 Likes |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by byvan03: 11:03pm On Nov 12, 2016 |
The next time he starts shouting, walk away so he can Shout alone. Personally, i will do whatever it takes to fix this. 5 Likes |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by Nobody: 12:28am On Nov 13, 2016 |
Do not shout back at him like some people have suggested. You can speak up for yourself without stooping low to his level. Be firm in telling him you don't like his shouting at you and that it must stop because it's making you unhappy. You deserve respect just as much as he does. 6 Likes |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by oatzeal(m): 1:02am On Nov 13, 2016 |
thewife306: Viking007: Ishilove:Once again , am here, ..... If u tell your pastor or tell his relative, it will make it worse. There is no man a woman can't handle.. Study ur man and handle him. IF YOU TAKE TO SOME ADVICE HERE, IT WILL ONLY GET MESSIER. he has reasons for shouting at u, if u can't detect the actual reason, play round it... That's why am giving u tips. Possible reasons why he shouts at you... I used myself as an example. Again... Some men don't like to be slowed down., They like it wen dey say ABCDE and u continued ..FGHI.. Only smart ladies can cope.. Another way is to always assist him not to be late. Wake him, help him pick what he may forget, . Help him to be faster at anything ... Am not saying you shud not do your own, but be involved in his own , at least for this time, please ...... Dont see it as selfishness on his own side... Or slavery on ur side. JUST DO IT , u will get amazing result.. You will ask for A, he will give you AAAAAAAA, he will notice it easily wen u re not happy, he ll listen to you and change completely. PRAY TO GOD, WITH SINCERE HEART, ASK FOR WISDOM TO BE SMARTER.... GOD WILL GRANT IT UNTO YOU.. 4 Likes |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by yuzedo: 2:32am On Nov 13, 2016 |
You CANNOT fight fire with fire. I see some well-intentioned albeit ignorant advice being peddled here. Kindly recall the definition of the word "husband" --- it means LORD OF THE HOUSE. Can you shout back at your boss in the office without a back-up plan? If no, please think up one before following this dangerous course of action. Your husband's actions are pretty insensitive and immature. You married him with these qualities, you should try and "for better or worse" this situation, keeping in mind that preventing a degeneration to physical abuse will be a long-term win for all involved. If I were ever as temporarily irrational as your husband, a short, hand-written letter to me would convict me like nothing else can. Not only will it be proof of your mental strength despite provocation, but will also be read one day by someone else who will see your attempt to salvage a potentially-dicey situation. Husbands, love your wives. Your husband's antics are not consistent with 1st Cor 13. And that's a shame considering you guys probably married in a church (Forgive if my assumption is wrong). Still, the Bible you consult says wives should secure their homes with wisdom. Shouting back is the direct opposite of that. 15 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by Berbierklaus(f): 3:41am On Nov 13, 2016 |
JeffreyJamez:And when he panel beat her life for shouting at him,it Is still you that will ask what she did to get herself beaten. Confused generation 5 Likes |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by dangotesmummy: 5:32am On Nov 13, 2016 |
There are something's I'm beginning to see here.so in Nigeria Wife = slave that you can disgrace anyhow and anywhere and she should just continue being sweet.isokay Solution @ Op the next time he does that crap walk out on him Or Don't go to public places with him and if he asks you why tell him to avoid disgrace If you go to church sites separately. After church enter a cab and go back home. When you're with him in public avoid him as much as possible 37 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by dangotesmummy: 5:36am On Nov 13, 2016 |
Berbierklaus:LMao. So when she gives him a taste of his medicine He should resort to violence. Op just avoid him and stay on your lane because you married an emotional abuser and sociopath.At least if he has to disgrace you let it be at home but publicly that is too much.it kills self esteem very fast and causes depression I guess your husband thinks you don't have feelings and emotions 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by dangotesmummy: 5:47am On Nov 13, 2016 |
yuzedo:ok good but have you realised the negative consequences of emotional abuse? It's a scar that doesn't heal IN 2 days or a week I hope you realise that Consequences include depression insomnia Paranoia Psychotic disorder loss of sex drive feelings of worthlessness suicidal tendencies Loss of apetite and enthusiasm She begins to depreciate e.g loss of physical beauty Unfortunately your kids are at the receiving end of her tantrums. I'm now seeing why Nigerian women look like their husband's elder sister after marriage Who will marry a narcissist and not age before her time. By the way what is the difference between her and a slave 13 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by Nobody: 5:56am On Nov 13, 2016 |
thewife306: It has to do with psychology. It takes more courage to speak to a person privately and calmly than to angrily yell in public. I was reading something, the best way of confronting such people is not the way you put it. It should be privately and you don't put them on the spot. Instead of saying, " you are this and that. .." you say - I get hurt/humiliated when you do this... This should make him have a little consideration next time he feels irritated by you |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by JeffreyJamez(m): 6:02am On Nov 13, 2016 |
Berbierklaus: Excuse you? ...you can always make your point without sounding antagonistic.. Thank you. 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by veave(f): 6:58am On Nov 13, 2016 |
oatzeal: R you OK? You heard her say he has even asked the maid to flaunt her orders and you are here talking trash... 6 Likes |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by byvan03: 7:54am On Nov 13, 2016 |
They claim you dont fight fire with fire ,sometimes it is the best solution. The Old Things burn down once and for all and rebirth takes place. 9 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by EfemenaXY: 8:07am On Nov 13, 2016 |
This story is very one sided. @op you say he shouts at you in public and it's becoming a frequent occurrence. What triggers this? You need to get to the root of the problem and sort it out from there, rather than trying to treat the symptoms. Unpleasant as this may sound, you might need to do a self assessment of yourself. And this is why I say your write up is one sided. I'm quite certain your husband would have a very different version of events to what you're telling us. 7 Likes |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by thewife306: 8:55am On Nov 13, 2016 |
EfemenaXY: And what if its not one sided. i posted thevreasons. What do i stand to gain posting one-sided story. i would be doing myself 4 Likes |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by thewife306: 8:57am On Nov 13, 2016 |
EfemenaXY:What self assessment? Dat you cannot caution your spouse in private except when you're outside. or in the presence of other people. 2 Likes |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by EfemenaXY: 9:14am On Nov 13, 2016 |
thewife306: Madam, stop getting defensive and answer the question I asked you. What do you do to get him so riled up? What exactly does he keep cautioning you over to the point where he feels shouting at you in public is the only way you get his message?? That's what I meant by saying you need to do a self-assessment on yourself. 3 Likes |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by Nobody: 9:36am On Nov 13, 2016 |
EfemenaXY: The husband might be the choleric type. These people are crazy. I have an uncle like this. I remember my cousin spilling a few drops of milk and he would go off shouting. You never knew when it would happen again, you just knew that it would and it was best for you to run and hide because whether you were innocent or not, did not really matter. He would shout and curse and it looked like his head would explode. And it could all happen suddenly and for ridiculous reasons. Sometimes he would provoke it as to let off some steam that he did not knew how else to. 6 Likes |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by EfemenaXY: 9:43am On Nov 13, 2016 |
Mindfulness: Yes, but she claims it's a recent development. Now that, I find hard to believe if her husband is as you described your uncle - meaning she knew he had this trait but chose to ignore it for reasons best known to her. If that isn't the case and she really is sincere with her write up, then she needs to find out what's triggering this "new" development of his. 4 Likes |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by Nobody: 9:49am On Nov 13, 2016 |
EfemenaXY: I do not know her entire story but I know that people are in for a big surprise when they marry a person they have dated for a short period of time. People are different when newly in love and once the hormones jump back to their normal level, that is when you see their true persona, the good and the ugly side of it. thewife306 How long have you been married and for how long were you dating prior to marriage? |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by EfemenaXY: 9:55am On Nov 13, 2016 |
^^ I don't dispute that, but let's look at this from another angle. If she isn't anywhere by him, would he curse, shout, and yell in public? So what is it about her presence that makes him compelled to scream obscenities at her ALWAYS? 3 Likes |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by Nobody: 10:07am On Nov 13, 2016 |
EfemenaXY: Maybe he does it to her because he can. Even choleric personalities can control themselves if lashing out has severe consequences (job loss, broken nose etc). I am not saying I know that he is a choleric, I only have the impression that he may be. I mean, come on, he is even yelling in the church. Even if you hate your spouse, you will respect yourself in the church and control your anger in this place. 5 Likes |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by EfemenaXY: 10:13am On Nov 13, 2016 |
Mindfulness: Lol @ broken nose / church. Oh well, maybe he doesn't love her/ never really did and it's got to the point he can't stand her presence without experiencing the uncontrollable urge to scream at her. @op, sorry o! 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by zeb04(f): 10:14am On Nov 13, 2016 |
RadicallyBlunt:IT is not normal, stop telling people trash. if your marriage was like that,then that is your marriage,not a norm 7 Likes |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by Nobody: 10:16am On Nov 13, 2016 |
EfemenaXY: Then he is a mumu of the highest mumuish order and immature on top of that. Why marry, why have children if you do not love the person? And if you fall out of love, why take it out on the other person, the mother of your child? People need to learn to take responsibility for their feelings instead of blaming others for the way they feel. Mumuish mumus. 5 Likes |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by missjo(f): 10:17am On Nov 13, 2016 |
oatzeal:Errrrmmmm, I don't mean to interfere but I'm sensing you just described yourself this way with the opinion that it might be a good thing. IT CERTAILY ISN'T. There's a clinical term in psychology used to describe people like this,cant remember the term right now. In a world where one has very little control over every other thing, it's VERY IMPORTANT for one to have SELF-CONTROL, this is the only type of control we humans are 100% responsible for. 14 Likes |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by yuzedo: 10:18am On Nov 13, 2016 |
dangotesmummy:Why you dey face me? I resembu OP horseband ni?? 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by EfemenaXY: 10:20am On Nov 13, 2016 |
Mindfulness: The urge to procreate might transcend normal reasoning, perhaps? Who knows? 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by Nobody: 10:23am On Nov 13, 2016 |
missjo: Just imagine everyone would freak out and lash out in a moment of stress like an infant throwing tantrums only with greater ferocity. I hope he is also able to take what he dishes out. There are better ways to cope with stress. The discussion reminds me of Donald Trump. Let us hope he will not use his nuclear codes in a stressful moment. All these babies in grown bodies. 5 Likes |
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