dangotesmummy:
LMao orisirisi. Nothing I will not see on nl

So you will encourage a couple to be raising their voice at each other in public like a mad man and mad woman forgetting that the public will be very entertained spilling out your personal grievances and issues IN public

So that the marriage will degenerate to the level that others will be tabling your marital issh in beer parlour jist

I like this your funny advise well well o

dangotesmummy:

Please help me ask the retard who raised barrack obama

thewife306:


I have. he doesnt seem bothered.Keeps saying he doesnt hide his feelings. Dats why i made this post.

comtem2011:
Since you have talked to him by yourself and he refuse to change, I think the best idea is to talk to his parents especially his father.

And if he refused, just take a walk whenever he shout at you in the public. Shikena. Pls don't loose your sanity.

zeb04:
you are making noise and all your insult is really not needed. your post might be good or not,that's your business what is trash is telling people that the ist year of marriage is expected to be hard because yours was, that is Trash.

peace.

sisisioge:


Iya Dangote, no be for your hears mummy Gabriel talk say baba Gabriel dey shout for her head? She bin don try manage am but e no gree. At this point we can only hope he gets the message by taking a sip of his own poison. If she continues to bottle up and daddy nwane continues, one day she would explored in a way that the people in Timbuktu won't be spared! Then, maybe this little stitch I'm offering will save nine

DarkRebel101:
I witnessed something similar about two weeks ago in a BRT bus. A man, his wife, and their two children boarded the same bus as did I; and it so happened that while the man found a place to sit, the wife and the children did not and so had to stand.

Fifteen minutes later, someone alighted from the bus thus creating a vacant seat which the woman immediately sat on; and just as she was beckoning to her two kids to come sit on her laps, her husband burst in a fusillade of rage and commanded his wife to stand so that his children could sit.

My face creased into a deep flesh canyon of disbelief, and even more so when the woman sheepishly cowered in humility characteristic of a Catholic nun.
Who knows how long the woman has been subjected to such harassment?

[...]

OP, your husband is just like the man in that story, and that is immature, insensate and proud.

Lao Tzu once said that, “All streams flow to the sea because it is lower than they are. Humility gives it its power.”

One of the things your husband needs to learn is how to be humble.

...

Now to the main issue: my advise is that you investigate the activities your husband has been involved in as of recent.

I also need you to answer these questions:

On a scale of 1-10, how physically attractive is your husband? Could it be that his physical ‘uninterestingness’ is the cause of his frustration. Perhaps he hasn't been receiving sufficient attention from the opposite sex.

Is he ankle-deep in a financial pinch? Is he in debt? Such make a man-woman frustrated and depressed?

Do his family members constantly put the squeeze on him so that he might cater for their needs? He might just be overwhelmingly pressurized.

Has any of his family members, colleagues, or close friends died as of late? Death inflicts a heavy toll on a person's mood.

Has he any history of violence? –, and please do away with those ingenuous sentiments about how he was Saint Padre Pio during courtship.
Courtships are more than often not where the true character of a man-woman is revealed.

...

As they say, ‘‘frustration begets anger; anger begets aggression”.

I think your husband is frustrated, and might just be suffering from a phenomenon which psychologists call displaced aggression’, or as those in the military would put it: ‘stress-rolling’.

Displaced aggression is when someone for lack of being able to challenge the source of his frustration due to the fact that he–she feels that he–she cannot conquer it, directs his-her anger instead to someone perceived to be weaker and less capable of reprisal.



For example: my boss may have hauled me over the coals for a task poorly executed, and knowing fully well that I can't yell back at my boss or impugn him, I would rather suppress my anger and take it out on my wife or child. That's what displaced aggression means and I think your husband is going through just that.

...

And OP, have you tried talking to him?
Have you expressed your discomfiture to him?
If not then that should be your first line of action. If that doesn't work then you should ask his family members to have a tête-a-tête with him; and if that still proves abortive, then you should perhaps consider a belt-and-braces approach — though I wouldn't advise such as fire can never be quenched with fire.

Temporal separation until he turns over a new leaf could also be a last resort.

dangotesmummy:
even the bible says when a fool is arguing and You indulge him by arguing with him you become a fool like him.when You have a man that lacks self control publicly You don't exchange words with him you walk away. By walking away he looks like the fool

By the way I have a feeling that his attitude of disgracing his wife publicly is deliberate. 1.to either boost his ego or make him feel in control
that's the symptom of a narcissist. In order for a narcissist to feel good about himself he has to bring another person down.unfortunately the wife happens to be the victim

dangotesmummy:
the man in your story is obviously another narcissist. Narcissism is a psychological disorder that a lot of Nigerians don't realise.someone with a controlling domineering and abusive behaviour is not normal

Being A husband doesn't mean being AN abuser or dictator general and yo

DarkRebel101:


Yes, I agree; he was selfish[color] by not thinking to give up his sit in the first place, he was [color=#990000]possessive, and he was arrogant.
Classic three-point profile of a textbook narcissist.

...

I wanted to ask the woman to come take my sit but I feared the man would consider it a slight and so I held my peace.

sisisioge:


Hmmmm...it is well o. Na pity I just pity the woman. Marriage itself isn't an helluva venture, the people in it are it's problems. Why won't a human treat another with respect? Wtf is his problem biko? It is well.

thewife306:


Thank you. i really do not want to retaliate as 2 wrongs dont make a right but my kind of person. wen someone intentionally hurts me i try to avoid the person and grow cold. but in this case its my husband. and i know its affecting my feelings towards him

dangotesmummy:
LMao. HE will think you're trying to take advantage of the situation by making passes at his wife

Is Like you don't know how narcissist think

Even the wife sef will be afraid to sit down even if you offered her your situated because you won't be there when he is beating her at home

dangotesmummy:
when I see plaster and several body injuries on women's bodies everytime I just laugh IN my mind

And what always cracks me up is the okada accident excuse

There was a lady that her husband usually beats on a daily basis like that in my former place of work.because of the violence she's always coming late to work.even when she comes she's usually disoriented, disorganised and cannot concentrate at work. She's always easily tired and complains OF headache.

So one fateful day she came late as usual.didn't button her shirt properly and with plaster by her neck.that day she ran into our boss that ONe asked her why she's late she was stuttering and scratching her head. Why is there plaster and cotton wool on your neck she said okada accident. Oga then said is it every day you always have okada accident. I almost burst into laughter I just suppressed my laughter and faced my work.

Of course Every one knew her husband usually assaults her but no one told her anything when she won't listen to advise

Many atimes a narcissist doesn't just abuse their victims (wives ) emotionally. They're also abused physically

DarkRebel101:


The mind of a narcissist is a paper mâché of delusions.

Nonetheless, I don't think he would have humoured that thought; the woman should be in her late forties, and I looked comparatively younger.

What I feared was that he might think me offering his wife my sit was an act of defiance and a form of passive-aggression.

Besides, I didn't want to stick my oars in their affairs or be the reason that the man should physically or verbally assault her as soon as they made it home.

sisisioge:


Chineke nme o! May God help her o...now wouldn't you advise she breaks a bottle on his head

DarkRebel101:


The mind of a narcissist is a paper mâché of delusions.

Nonetheless, I don't think he would have humoured that thought; the woman should be in her late forties, and I looked comparatively younger.

What I feared was that he might have considered it to be an act of defiance and a form of passive-aggression.

Besides, I didn't want to stick my oars in their affairs or be the reason that the man should physically or verbally assault her as soon as they made it home. Being Switzerland at times is the best way to avoid trouble.

sisisioge:


Your guy is an azzzzxhole!

dangotesmummy:
in a man to woman relationship violence doesn't quell violence infact reprisal attacks from the wife triggers more violence. However if it was a man to man relationship or woman to woman that's where the philosophy of violence and counter violence brings about peace works

DarkRebel101:


Who is my guy?

dangotesmummy:
LMao

So you think it's about age for him? Well if you were a woman that's what he will think but because you're a man he will assume you want to stylish you dig?

Narcissist are very possessive temperamental and jealous. Any man that's coming near the wife is a potential threat

sisisioge:


Abeg Iya Dangote, issue don tire me already. I'm not married, let the married ones sort their issues biko. Until I join the wagon...I remain my own boss. My singleton status will I enjoy It is well .

DarkRebel101:


LOL. When insecurity collides with narcissism, it gives off so much sparkle you'd almost think you were witnessing fireworks on Fourth Of July.

sisisioge:


baba Nonso

DarkRebel101:


If by baba Nonso you are alluding to the control-freak in my little story, then you've got it all wrong. Such an unrefined beast can never be my guy nor have a spot in my social orbit.

Where I'm from a man doesn't sit while his wife stands -- that shows no class; where I'm from a man doesn't denigrate his better half in public -- who does that if not a brain-damaged gnat?

Some men need to be schooled on how to be a gentleman. Many of the members of my gender seem to be lacking in gentility.

DarkRebel101:


Yes, I agree; he was selfish by not thinking to give up his sit in the first place, he was possessive, and he was arrogant.
Classic three-point profile of a textbook narcissist.

...

I would have asked the woman to come take my sit but I feared the man would consider it a slight and so I held my peace. Such people are highly irascible and see offence in everything.

dangotesmummy:
LMao. So when she gives him a taste of his medicine He should resort to violence.

Op just avoid him and stay on your lane because you married an emotional abuser and sociopath.At least if he has to disgrace you let it be at home but publicly that is too much.it kills self esteem very fast and causes depression

I guess your husband thinks you don't have feelings and emotions

eyinjuege:

He would have punched you in the face or beat his wife when they get home that she was making eyes at you. However, it would have put him to shame as he deserved it.
Some people are just selfish, and animals are even better than them.

DarkRebel101:

.

Yieldings:
Re: Your signature...
Have you read any of Shakespeare's plays?