.

OP I don't even know where to start, even coming from a family where there's freedom in almost everything, I still had my own fair share of frustrations while growing up. It pains me when I hear of African parents that still have this archaic habit of pushing their wards into studying a particular course, even with all the glaring evidence over time that such practice has done more harm than good.

Bro, I'd advice you confront your nightmare, talk to everyone in your family, mostly your parents. Make them understand the situation of things with you, why you can't study law, etc. Make them understand how rapidly things have changed and why they can't afford to still hold onto certain things that add no real value to life. Back it up with actions, let them know you're not who hey think you are, dare them to allow you register jamb in your preferred course of study this time, then sit down prepare and smash the exam.

In summary find a way to get your family to give you a chance, then go ahead to prove them otherwise through hardwork.

FriedYam:
About sex. I was introduced to sex at a very tender age. 6 precisely by one of those big aunties. Consitently abused till age nine. However, since then, I havent had sex. Maybe this is the reason why anything sexual gets me erect in a flash but I can't help it. I've tried but I get erect most times even when I'm not thinking of sex. I may lie down to sleep nd wake up erect to discover someone saw me. Or maybe I'm just chatting on phone, not anything related to sex, I'll get erect. My fam have seen me dodging this several times. They think I'm having sex. They think I'm a pervert nd think every girl is unsafe with me. Its not lack of chance that's made me not have sex, I want to, but it doesnt seem right, si i just abstained.

A female friend got me 1500# airtime on my bday last yr. Her bday came nd I decided to repay her buy buying a sandal for her.. Mum saw it nd concluded that I had a gf nd was having sex. The house has been hell for me. Dad heard nd now every single wrong I do, I get to hear about my rapist tendencies nd numerous girlfriend ion know abt.

I'm handsome, i look like dad. Very handsome so they think I'm using that to get girls.

I've been depressed severally and thought of suicide many times... A whole lot of other things have happened too which i cant say

Like when i was 12 nd was sprouting pubic hair. Ws so fascinated that i used to pull the hair evrynight to make sure it was there. Mum entered my room at night nd caught my hands in my boxer, I was doing my nightly check. She screamed, said i was masturbating. Ddnt even know what the word meant. Since then They knew me at home as a porn addict nd masturbator... i ddnt even know what they meant.

Tat's abt sex

You are just being yourself, forget the societal degrading that comes with it, you will be surprised alot people are just like you and equally bothered way people see them, At 18 your testosterone might be high hence you get frequent urges just try understand your body better and if porn and masturbation doesnt disturb your life focus especially your studies i see no problem there most geniuses and smart people actually get to have a high sex drive it doesnt make you bad, its part of your nature best you can do is to have control and you will have no problems.

Op that's the life of an 18 year old,it always feels like the world is against you at that stage of life.

Don't worry you'll be fine.

RadicallyBlunt:
I like you for being real. We all have challenges some of which are unshareable. But in your case, youll get over it with time. They're all challenges peculiar to ur stage of life some are going thru tougher ones. You don't want to be an orphan house help to an unknown intolerant family. Some of your mate are going thru that right now because they lost their parents and were thrown outta of their fathers house by relatives

So encourage yourself boi. No challenge is worth making you a gangstar. If you yield and become one, it means the challenges overcame you. You should rather overcome it so you'll use your experience to father your children and husband your wife in future.

What a great counsel, please follow it

Emodeee:




miss nairaland sef dey book space. you suppose get your own reservation for every thread.

Lol.. seun sef fit book space... Space don scarce for nl.

SnowJay92:

You think it's a joke?

I know it is one

Mumben:
Op, i understand ur plight. Ur parents love u nd want d best for u but they re going abt it d wrong way. Dont let those harsh words get to you, believe in yourself n always take those harsh words as a joke so it doesnt bother u much. I bet ull come out strong.

If you digest what the OP wrote above,you will realise he is badt guy and he need prayer
I think he is what his parent thought he is
The story is one sided but still this guy is not a good guy at home

FriedYam:
Good evening Nlers.
I'm a eighteen year old. From a family of five. The only son with extra strict parents. A lot has been happening right from my childhood down till now and my parents are of the view that I'm an apology.

I wasn't the brightest in school. I'm above average nd particularly led my class in my core subjects. I wrote my wassce in 2014. I cleared my papers except math nd literature. Agreed. I'm a dumbo at math but literature.... All students failed because a classmate was caught with a phone. Thus, I became the first in my family to fail o'level.

I registered for neco gce nd failed even more cos there was high expo there. My jamb score was 223 that yr for an imposed course, Law.

2015,i registered neco again at a school known for expo. However, before the expo was brought into the hall, I would have answered all my questions nd was only helped in maths. They called me a textbook in the school. I had B's all through but my father thinks it was expo that helped me. At 2015 , my jamb score was 257. U.I f'd me up. Law again.

This yr, jamb did the unthinkable. After popping coffee all night to study nd reading all day to the extent that i lost wght, i had 212. Y'all know how jamb was. Now I ddnt gain admission for law.... I'm being blamed now for jambs incompetence.

A who bunch of other things relating to education where i've been gravely misunderstood are untold.

But, that's just abt education.

Brother, pm me on whatsap

FriedYam:
thank yu. I know I will

get in touch

Eyah quite sad, my parents use to judge my friends by appearances especially when i clocked 15 and became a prefect. Due to my intelligence they didn't want me mingling with those they considered unserious. So to an extent i can understand how they reacted to your friends.

Getting admission before i was 16 brought a lot on its own.. Nevertheless their unwavering trust in me made it so easy. I won't say i was free like a bird because i had restrictions and when they saw the positive results my life yielded despite the many rules i hated they had no reasons not to let me pursue whatever goals i had in mind.

With everything you have gone through, its going to very disheartening if you turn out to be the son they don't want to have, one they can't be proud of. So in the long run when you are successful which i know you would be you would forget those years of outright overprotection from your parents. And also that some parents aint like that doesn't make it right.

Strive towards becoming a better person push aside everything that happened to you while you were little which is enough to turn you to a nuisance and look forward to your future which promises to be bright.

Great people are those who had it really rough while beginning their distinct races of life. Also draw nearer to God only Him can show you how your future looks like and make it turn out to be a beautiful one.

All the best FriedYam.

The thing is... They won't treat you like a child if you don't act like one... I'm not saying there won't be any restrictions, I'm saying it wouldn't be as tight as it is now. Eighteen and you can't leave house? For wat Na? You can't talk to babe? Mehn... Are you supposed to be gay?... You should talk to your parents. No I don't mean.. Have all that stupid emotional crap... I mean answer them.


Example. My parents. My dad asked me to do something one day.. And I was going to do it. But then he added a threat. "If not he would flog me". .. At that point I was like... What? Flog me? Am I a child? Even if I was a child.. Did you give birth to an animal that you want to flog me?

That shut him up. Then the other day, My mum saw a picture of me and some guys on my phone and she was screaming at me. And then I asked her if I she wanted me to be lesbian... Really. I mean, you have to stand up to your parents. I'm the same age as you and I don't see why they would be treating you that way.

Your own is even good sef. You've written jamb thrice and the schools have been messin up. I've written jamb once. Just once. The school, Unical, hasn't even released list yet. And they keep on screaming at me. That all my mates are in uni. Last week I asked them if I look like the vc or something. Like its my fault the school hasn't released list yet

My dear, stand up to your bullies. People will now be excusing their faults. Saying its because they love you. Love ke? They're killing you. And you have to treat their Bleep up. Don't take nonsense from anyone. Not even your parents.

FriedYam,

I suggest you see a clinical psychologist. Nothing more.


That said, African parents need to change their mode of upbringing. It's archaic, because something "worked" then doesn't mean it will work now. Times have changed (not APC's type).

Masikay:
The thing is... They won't treat you like a child if you don't act like one... I'm not saying there won't be any restrictions, I'm saying it wouldn't be as tight as it is now. Eighteen and you can't leave house? For wat Na? You can't talk to babe? Mehn... Are you supposed to be gay?... You should talk to your parents. No I don't mean.. Have all that stupid emotional crap... I mean answer them.


Example. My parents. My dad asked me to do something one day.. And I was going to do it. But then he added a threat. "If not he would flog me". .. At that point I was like... What? Flog me? Am I a child? Even if I was a child.. Did you give birth to an animal that you want to flog me?

That shut him up. Then the other day, My mum saw a picture of me and some guys on my phone and she was screaming at me. And then I asked her if I she wanted me to be lesbian... Really. I mean, you have to stand up to your parents. I'm the same age as you and I don't see why they would be treating you that way.

Your own is even good sef. You've written jamb thrice and the schools have been messin up. I've written jamb once. Just once. The school, Unical, hasn't even released list yet. And they keep on screaming at me. That all my mates are in uni. Last week I asked them if I look like the vc or something. Like its my fault the school hasn't released list yet

My dear, stand up to your bullies. People will now be excusing their faults. Saying its because they love you. Love ke? They're killing you. And you have to treat their Bleep up. Don't take nonsense from anyone. Not even your parents.

hanhan.. Sister,Kilode na? You no get chill at all. Lol

Masikay:
The thing is... They won't treat you like a child if you don't act like one... I'm not saying there won't be any restrictions, I'm saying it wouldn't be as tight as it is now. Eighteen and you can't leave house? For wat Na? You can't talk to babe? Mehn... Are you supposed to be gay?... You should talk to your parents. No I don't mean.. Have all that stupid emotional crap... I mean answer them.


Example. My parents. My dad asked me to do something one day.. And I was going to do it. But then he added a threat. "If not he would flog me". .. At that point I was like... What? Flog me? Am I a child? Even if I was a child.. Did you give birth to an animal that you want to flog me?

That shut him up. Then the other day, My mum saw a picture of me and some guys on my phone and she was screaming at me. And then I asked her if I she wanted me to be lesbian... Really. I mean, you have to stand up to your parents. I'm the same age as you and I don't see why they would be treating you that way.

Your own is even good sef. You've written jamb thrice and the schools have been messin up. I've written jamb once. Just once. The school, Unical, hasn't even released list yet. And they keep on screaming at me. That all my mates are in uni. Last week I asked them if I look like the vc or something. Like its my fault the school hasn't released list yet

My dear, stand up to your bullies. People will now be excusing their faults. Saying its because they love you. Love ke? They're killing you. And you have to treat their Bleep up. Don't take nonsense from anyone. Not even your parents.

yeepa,you too have join bad gang..
One day you will just beat ur parents if you continue like this

Wow brotherly.. I feel so touched by ur story. Pls watsap me tru 08182680637 or call 08132055394. Am into this ministry of restoring hope type!

Lol... ... I've learnt that if you keep quiet people will want to enter your nose. You just gotta stand up for yourself

RaphaellaDD:
My candid opinion:
1) Don't live your life for anyone. Regret is an evil witch!!! If art is your passion go for it. Your parents are probably not going to be around in the next 50 years and that's when you'll realize that they lived your life for you!!!

2) Get a grip of your emotions. Find what makes and keeps you happy and bury yourself in it when wahala starts. Depression is the younger sister to regret. People will always have their own opinions about you, if you let that dictate your happiness, you're doomed!!

3) Find something to get you out of the house and keep you busy. A job,whatever. Start earning your own money,start being independent in the little ways you can. It'll definitely make you feel better.

You're so on point! I couldn't have better advised the young lad.
You have wisdom o, really. Na woman like you I need for this life, no jokes.

Dear Op
I ordinarily wouldn't comment but U remind me of myself. U can go through my diary. The only difference is U are way smarter than I was at your age. Stupidity was the only word that defines me in the dictionary. Fortunately, people like U would turn out very great in life but U gotta find a passion and stay focused.
I am a fullish 31 year old e-diot, who has made all d mistakes in the world with a very bright future and a job who stays in his parents house but U know what, I'm hanging and believing in some form of luck; destiny or whatever. IT WILL HAPPEN
U are very young
Just keep living

Bro I fill ur pain,trust me I relate to your experiences. I was once passing tru ur current circumstances.. My Advice is that you trust in The Lord and don't rely on what you and anyone else thinks of yourself...

FriedYam:
Good evening Nlers.
I'm a eighteen year old. From a family of five. The only son with extra strict parents. A lot has been happening right from my childhood down till now and my parents are of the view that I'm an apology.

I wasn't the brightest in school. I'm above average nd particularly led my class in my core subjects. I wrote my wassce in 2014. I cleared my papers except math nd literature. Agreed. I'm a dumbo at math but literature.... All students failed because a classmate was caught with a phone. Thus, I became the first in my family to fail o'level.

I registered for neco gce nd failed even more cos there was high expo there. My jamb score was 223 that yr for an imposed course, Law.

2015,i registered neco again at a school known for expo. However, before the expo was brought into the hall, I would have answered all my questions nd was only helped in maths. They called me a textbook in the school. I had B's all through but my father thinks it was expo that helped me. At 2015 , my jamb score was 257. U.I f'd me up. Law again.

This yr, jamb did the unthinkable. After popping coffee all night to study nd reading all day to the extent that i lost weight, i had 212. Y'all know how jamb was. Now I ddnt gain admission for law.... I'm being blamed now for jambs incompetence.

A who bunch of other things relating to education where i've been gravely misunderstood are untold.

But, that's just abt education.

........YOU NEED MORE IF THIS

You're not a failure because you failed but because you refuse to rise up from the dust. Keep your head straight. They might've said so many negative things about you. Don't accept what they said about you. Prove them wrong and if you have habits that can jeopardize your future, you really have to drop them. Above all, allow God to guide you in every area of your life because you cannot do it without him and also avoid bad company.

LyfeJennings:
Dear Op
I ordinarily wouldn't comment but U remind me of myself. U can go through my diary. The only difference is U are way smarter than I was at your age. Stupidity was the only word that defines me in the dictionary. Fortunately, people like U would turn out very great in life but U gotta find a passion and stay focused.
I am a fullish 31 year old e-diot, who has made all d mistakes in the world with a very bright future and a job who stays in his parents house but U know what, I'm hanging and believing in some form of luck; destiny or whatever. IT WILL HAPPEN
U are very young
Just keep living

Bro dat luck should be turning to your redeemer..

FriedYam:
bros, na so life be with me now o.

@friedyam no worry, na only for a while starmmer go call him papa name. Apply God, follow the advice of the man that gave you those solid 3points advice.

wow...what really loving & caring parents, No wonder u turn out defective but no worries try showing them d middle finger & make ur own choices.

FriedYam:
U.I f'd me up. Law again.

ui sabi fucck up people o. them rubbish me this year eh.

FriedYam: This yr, jamb did the unthinkable. After popping coffee all night to study nd reading all day to the extent that i lost weight, i had 212. Y'all know how jamb was. Now I ddnt gain admission for law.... I'm being blamed now for jambs incompetence.

.

same here. I share the same pains with you... jamb graded us with ridiculous scores.

It's unfortunate as Africans we do not nurture children who show an aptitude for other things other than medicine or law. Not every one is going to be a doctor or a lawyer. Art can be transferred to so many concepts. I hope you find your true calling and focus on what you can do well. Hopefully with time your parents will see that you are nothing but a good son.

mengho:
wow...what really loving & caring parents, No wonder u turn out defective but no worries try showing them d middle finger & make ur own choices.

Swr

I just read page 0 and I'm really not impressed with the comments!

Op, I can help you in my own weird way, if you're in lagos! Just saying.........my opinion tho! Not perfect!

I can follow your dad up(just like a spy)! Get to know where he relaxes, where he hangs out, who his friends are, etc! Sit close him where he hangs out! Start from buying him a bottle! Gradually make him a friend. Then talk some sense into his head!

Some of us were misled by our parents! We wanted to satisfy them, so we went for courses that would make them happy! We graduated with good grades but we are not happy today and dad is no more! When I suggested music school to him, he was like; are you crazy! We don't have musicians in our lineage! Do sciences!!

I'm of age boy! I need to make ur dad my friend and talk some sense into his head!

I truly feel ur pain, like a son! And I want to help, before they destroy ur future but I'm really confused on how to come in!

God help you!!

Raine80:
It's unfortunate as Africans we do not nurture children who show an aptitude for other things other than medicine or law. Not every one is going to be a doctor or a lawyer. Art can be transferred to so many concepts. I hope you find your true calling and focus on what you can do well. Hopefully with time your parents will see that you are nothing but a good son.

Always like your comment. Can I know you?

Typical challenges of a Nigerian adolescent male... I suffered same in the hands of my mom, I was only lucky to have secured an early admission slot.. Are u sure u were not describing my parents in ur writeup? And u know what? My mom delays every important decision till she hears from me now....we are that close. I know they want to raise a good independent man, don't get too frustrated and unlike me don't let their negative conclusions break u. U know what? I smoked cigarette cos mom had already concluded I was smoking weed. Be good to them and let them see u as a God fearing son. I sincerely feel ur pains bro.