I know with the topic above, some peeps will be like what's this lady saying? Being broke is a blessing? SMH.
Well, I want to share a convo, I had few minutes ago with one of my married friends who have issues in her marriage.
I have this lovely friend, she got married immediately she was done with Nysc. Her boo works and earn a good amount of money. Their wedding and trad was so lovely, the moments were magical. At the end of the day, we all wished them happy married life
I was happy for my friend, and thinking when mine will come ooo
So fast forward, we didn't communicate for like 4years, she doesn't pick her calls and am not close to her husband, how much more have his contacts. So out of the blues, she same to my office, beaming with smiles and looked more chubby and fresh. We both screamed yeahhh, wow! I was so surprised to see her and I noticed a young child, boy clutching onto her dress. That's her son. Exact photocopy of her husband.
So we sat down, and gisted with joys and laughter. Then she opened up about her marriage , and what she's struggling with.
Her husband built a house in a remote place in Lagos and settled her in to his home but inbetween she felt this place is too remote and wants to live in the town. So after much pestering from her.
They went back to her parents house to stay for a while, and the husband visits her there, as she prefers there, than their remot home.
So he also opened a business and office for her, also a bought a mini jeep for her, so she can move easily around.

Huh?

But the business flop and she could not renew the 2years rent and her husband was not willing to renew it. In the midst of quarrels, the husband insults her that she is too dumvb and can't handle a simple biz of fashion school.
So she packed out of her shop and her dad stepped in and gave her a space to renovate a shop upfront of his building in town. So her husband too, invested and the new shop came alive.
Business was still not moving but at least she won't pay rent. Her dad owns the space and building.

Later last year, she then suggested to her husband she wants to go into Dubai trading. As in, having boutiques and bringing in clothes and accessories to sell here in Lagos.
The husband agreed with her and was about processing her papers and have the money ready for her trip, when this recession now became kilode.
Mehn money became tight. He couldn't sponsor her trip anymore

But unknown to him, because he was angry the business he sets up for her initially failed and some men u know how they behave when they are angry and frustrated about. Money issues.. they can insult forever.
So due to his insults, she was resenting him everyday. Most times they exchange words against each other. Her parents sef, became tired of their marriage.

Her parents could not advise her on what's right and what's wrong.
Their quarrels deepened and the space between them widened . But her husband stil had plans to sponsor her abroad, if not for this recession

They are even sacking people in his company but he was retained and with decrease in his salary.

So most times she will call me, sounding very angry and saying she wants a divorce.. And she's fed-up with the marriage and her parents too is fed-up of what's going on between them.
I always tell her to be patient. Then last week, she said her dad is pissed off with her husband and wants to send her abroad with their only son, so she can start her life afresh there. I was like your father? Wow has it come to that? She said yes o. That she will take her son away and start life afresh abroad. I then asked her how will u handle your husband here? What will u tell him? She said she will travel and go first. Then send him a mail, that's it's over between them.
I was so disturbed. Then today, I told her, my dear if u leave your husband u are Making a huge mistake and u will regret it. Calm down and understand him. And see where he's coming from.
She then opened up, her husband was the one who wants to sponsor her trip abroad especially to Dubai. And she plans on running away with their son, cos she will take her son along.

I said what!
Your husband is planning to give u money to buy goods in Dubai, comeback home ,so u will stock your shop with products from Dubai and u say u won't come back??

Are u OK at all? How can u treat this man, this way? Whats wrong with u? She said she has suffered and she wants to just go and make a new life out there

I was so shocked!
I said no wonder, your husband no longer have money.. How do u think, with this plan of yours, God will bless your husband to have money and send u abroad?
God does not support evil plans. Hope u know?
U better change your mind towards him and starts seeing him as the man u will spend the rest of your life with. And appreciate and love him. Haba he's trying.

She said, her concern is how to get money.. I said look, me! I don't have money to give u. And any man out there promising u money, is just deceiving you.. They will use and fucvk the hell. Out of your pussyyy.

So u better start wishing your husband well and start praying for him... So that things will be well between u too..
Me, ooo.... I don't have money to give.. In fact am so broke.

She was just looking at me


Honestly am so shocked... Her husband should thank God he's broke. Orelse if he had sponsored her trip, that's goodbye to his marriage.



My people, na WA ooooooo
Am so shocked.

What must have happened to this innocent lady way back to turn into someonelse like this

I just don't know what we men have done soo much to deserve all this wickedness from women. Can you imagine an innocent man trying all his possible best to build an happy home.

@OP.. I have actually been reading your post in this section and if truly you have achieved what you claim you have achieved in those two businesses of yours, I would advice you put your friend through on how to run a business that would wax stronger, like yours.

Your friend is being reactive.
As for that her plans, kolewerk!

*modified*
This your title is misleading o.
A blessing by making her business flop and decreasing the earning capacity of the husband? how?

Consequences of marrying an olooosho as wife. Women these days have nothing to offer even so called wives. It's all give, give, give, me, me, me. Men should start searching neighboring countries for spouse.

Jezebel is a saint where that your friend is. Even the devil Will marvel at the level of her wickedness.

Eleyi gidi gan...

iebanehita:
@OP.. I have actually been reading your post in this section and if truly you have achieved what you claim you have achieved in those two businesses of yours, I would advice you put your friend through on how to run a business that would wax stronger, like yours.

Your friend is being reactive.
As for that her plans, kolewerk!

*modified*
This your title is misleading o.
A blessing by making her business flop and decreasing the earning capacity of the husband? how?

Have put her through one of my biz, her husband even came to meet me when he wanted to invest in the biz for her, for confirmation of what am doing and how well am doing mine. He was impressed and he asked how much capital will he need for her start. I told him 3M,. For everything. Office space and the rest. He said OK.
Even my friend was catching up slowly but surely.. So at end of training her. He then opened her own biz.
But one thing she lacks is vibrancy when talking to clients. She's too laid back and too relaxed if clients are making enquiries and asking her questions . Clients need to be convinced about what u have before they can put their money down for u.
If u can't convince them, they ain't coming back.
So her too laid back attitude and slow speech, I feel makes clients for the first time loose credibility about her skills. And thereby not coming back again.
She needs a PA to speak about her biz when customers comes but because of the money, the husband has invested so far.
He's not willingly to employ PA for her.. He feels, she's a graduate and should be able to talk to clients.
If I can do it conveniently , then why can't she.

So that's one flaw she has with the biz. And she's slow to think.
Have already told the husband, she should work in the ministry and federal govt ministry but he doesn't want his wife to work for anyone. He wants her to do biz, but she does not have brains for biz


Why I say it's a blessing? It's a blessing for the husband ,not her.
If the husband have money early this year, she would have travelled and she won't come. Back to him. That's why I said its a blessing for the husband.

Nna mehn.

Anyways, me I always see every disappointment as a blessing in disguise

Honestly I never imagined she can scheme such plan.
I feel so dissapointed and loss of words.
And her parents are not even advising her well.
I just don't understand.

If I have the luck she had in having a man sponsor my biz, I would have gone so far than this. It was my mum that single handedly sponsored me when she realise, I don't even have boyfriend then, how much a man that wants to marry and sponsor. So she gave me the start up capital herself.
And I bought my first car, with my 3rd gains in the biz.
No. Man gree buy car for me o... Lol
Even lift sef, no way


Ol boi

Life is strange.

Amelian:





Have put her through one of my biz, her husband even came to meet me when he wanted to invest in the biz for her, for confirmation of what am doing and how well am doing mine. He was impressed and he asked how much capital will he need for her start. I told him 3M,. For everything. Office space and the rest. He said OK.
Even my friend was catching up slowly but surely.. So at end of training her. He then opened her own biz.
But one thing she lacks is vibrancy when talking to clients. She's too laid back and too relaxed if clients are making enquiries and asking her questions . Clients need to be convinced about what u have before they can put their money down for u.
If u can't convince them, they ain't coming back.
So her too laid back attitude and slow speech, I feel makes clients for the first time loose credibility about her skills. And thereby not coming back again.
She needs a PA to speak about her biz when customers comes but because of the money, the husband has invested so far.
He's not willingly to employ PA for her.. He feels, she's a graduate and should be able to talk to clients.
If I can do it conveniently , then why can't she.

So that's one flaw she has with the biz. And she's slow to think.
Have already told the husband, she should work in the ministry and federal govt ministry but he doesn't want his wife to work for anyone. He wants her to do biz, but she does not have brains for biz

---She lacks vibrancy
---She is slow to speak
---She can't convince clients to do business with her

She basically lacks the qualities to make her business successful and i wonder how the husband couldn't see all this before investing his 3M.
They say you can take a horse to the water, but you can't force it to drink. That is what is at play here.
I now understand why the husband is continually being pissed off at her. She literally can't succeed as a businesswoman except she does an overhaul of herself.

The husband should be flexible and allow her work to support the family. That's where she derived comfort and happiness.
I guessed her upbringing resulted in all this..

Hian!!


P.S: I understand your title now.

Amelian:
Honestly I never imagined she can scheme such plan.
I feel so dissapointed and loss of words.
And her parents are not even advising her well.
I just don't understand.

If I have the luck she had in having a man sponsor my biz, I would have gone so far than this. It was my mum that single handedly sponsored me when she realise, I don't even have boyfriend then, how much a man that wants to marry and sponsor. So she gave me the start up capital herself.
And I bought my first car, with my 3rd gains in the biz.
No. Man gree buy car for me o... Lol
Even lift sef, no way


Ol boi

Life is strange.

That's women for you!

When I got married, my father in-law sat me down and advised me like his own son never to trust a woman. I dismissed his words thinking we were in the 21st century and women deserves all the trust.

Mhen! I learnt the hard way, the thing wey my eyes see, my mouth no fit talk am.

iebanehita:


---She lacks vibrancy
---She is slow to speak
---She can't convince clients to do business with her

She basically lacks the qualities to make her business successful and i wonder how the husband couldn't see all this before investing his 3M.
They say you can take a horse to the water, but you can't force it to drink. That is what is at play here.
I now understand why the husband is continually being pissed off at her. She literally can't succeed as a businesswoman except she does an overhaul of herself.

The husband should be flexible and allow her work to support the family. That's where she derived comfort and happiness.
I guessed her upbringing resulted in all this..

Hian!!


P.S: I understand your title now.

Maybe he felt he could change her into what he wants. Forgetting like u said one can take a horse to the d river but can't force it drink.
She will succeed well as a staff in government work. That's where I know one she can do well.
Wake up in the morning, go to the office, seat down and gist half of the day with fellow colleagues, attend to customers sometimes. U know how staffs in ministries behaves
If u like come back, if u like don't come back. They have already pointed out the rules in either getting a contract from the government or how to pay tarrifs or issue out receipt on offences being committed by road users or motorists.
They always look less concerned.
At then end of the month, their salary is payed into account.

I pray she takes to my advice and work on her marriage, and not quitting.

Chai! Amelia! Why nau!


Biko, we need to jointly pray for this her husband to have money to send her abroad so she could run away and I could marry him! Issue resolved!

Na craaze dey give her bear hugs...iranu abacha!

Amelian:



Maybe he felt he could change her into what he wants. Forgetting like u said one can take a horse to the d river but can't force it drink.
She will succeed well as a staff in government work. That's where I know one she can do well.
Wake up in the morning, go to the office, seat down and gist half of the day with fellow colleagues, attend to customers sometimes. U know how staffs in ministries behaves
If u like come back, if u like don't come back. They have already pointed out the rules in either getting a contract from the government or how to pay tarrifs or issue out receipt on offences being committed by road users or motorists.
They always look less concerned.
At then end of the month, their salary is payed into account.

I pray she takes to my advice and work on her marriage, and not quitting.

Often at times, it's good you take you chances and be pushy on a lady, to shape her into the kind of woman you want her to be, before walking down the aisle.

@bolded. hahahahaha
Na so o. Daily target must be met o whether Road users commit offence or not, we go manufacture one and must sha issue out receipt to them.


I pray she heed, for her own good and the good of her marriage too.

@Amelian,

You have the gift of story telling.

@OP: I don't know if it's a blessing for her husband or a delay of the inevitable.

If the wife is thinking of running away with her husband's money and her parents are backing her up, I'm afraid it's only a matter of time she disappears unless your advice got to her.

Does she have siblings? If yes, are they happily married? Do her parents intervene?

I want to believe her parents are still together; how is their marriage? Is your friend sure there is not something else at work?

Or have her parents gotten a Dubai husband ready to waste resources on unproductive investments? Was your friend giving them money?

And the husband should have gotten a business savvy girl if he didn't want his wife to 'work under somebody'.

Your friend is a wicked person.

Be wary of her.

It's however funny to see a person who is not even a lizard in Naija, going to the abroad to become a crocodile.
Good riddance to bad rubbish.

Very lazy thing. If she leave the man now, at least he'll stop wasting his money on useless ventures

bukatyne:
@Amelian,

You have the gift of story telling.

@OP: I don't know if it's a blessing for her husband or a delay of the inevitable.

If the wife is thinking of running away with her husband's money and her parents are backing her up, I'm afraid it's only a matter of time she disappears unless your advice got to her.

Does she have siblings? If yes, are they happily married? Do her parents intervene?

I want to believe her parents are still together; how is their marriage? Is your friend sure there is not something else at work?

Or have her parents gotten a Dubai husband ready to waste resources on unproductive investments? Was your friend giving them money?

And the husband should have gotten a business savvy girl if he didn't want his wife to 'work under somebody'.

We are all good at story telling dear. It all depends on which way we tell the story

And asking me all these questions as if am the lady, her husband and her parents join

And truly, I don't live with them ..Am also not a psychologist or investigator to start asking the husband, why he married his wife when he needs a business savvy lady. Likewise meeting the parents and asking them if they have a Dubai husband for their daughter and knowing If her parents marriage is still working. It's not my duty to start snooping around or asking each one of them, their motives in their actions. Am not trained for that type of job.
When a close friend meets one and talk about his or her problems, u don't go around and start asking everyone in the family, their input on how your close friend situation, got to where it is.
Anyways, that's if they will grant u audience to start scrutinizing their motives.

Some mentality is way beyond me, sha.

sisisioge:
Chai! Amelia! Why nau!


Biko, we need to jointly pray for this her husband to have money to send her abroad so she could run away and I could marry him! Issue resolved!

Na craaze dey give her bear hugs...iranu abacha!

Lol

Wicked babe

And truly someonelse will quickly marry the guy if she still decides to run away, but she will still come back after some years of realizing the pasture is not greener at the other side.
Some people don't know what they have until they loose it.

Amelian:




Lol

Wicked babe

And truly someonelse will quickly marry the guy if she still decides to run away, but she will still come back after some years of realizing the pasture is not greener at the other side.
Some people don't know what they have until they loose it.

Abi o...but then there's always two sides to a coin. It is well.

sisisioge:
Chai! Amelia! Why nau!


Biko, we need to jointly pray for this her husband to have money to send her abroad so she could run away and I could marry him! Issue resolved!

Na craaze dey give her bear hugs...iranu abacha!

I never took you for the type that likes second-hand products.

DarkRebel101:


I never took you for the type that likes second-hand products.

Wetin I go do nau? The bobo na London use

sisisioge:



Abi o...but then there's always two sides to a coin. It is well.

Definitely there are two sides to a coin.
My concern is this, why pretend to your husband that all is well, just to get money from him and run?

If she really wants to do it the proper way and she is indeed fed-up. Simply file for divorce. That's it. Don't pretend and scheme to collect lots of money, then scram. That's emotional fraud. And it's bad.
I even told her, this one u are complaining over petty things. Cause All are complains are petty, and it's for someone that's not ready for marriage. And I told her so. That look marriage is hard work and total dedication. Your husband does not smoke, he does not womanize, he works hard to make u happy. All u need is to be a dutiful wife at home and u are complaining.
What your husband se3ks from u, is what any reasonable married man out there will also require from their wives. There are some excuses she pointed out that sound silly to my ears, when she said she couldn't do it. And no need saying everything here.

So my point is. U hate the man so. Much.. Then fucvking divorce him properly. And why I said that is this. She wants to run away, go out there, do whatsoever without placing a closure to her marriage. The husband suffers emotionally and her child too. And he wHen he decides to remarry, she can then come back at any time she likes to claim, she is his legal wife? Abi? Giving his new wife later, headaches.
My dear, she cannot eat her cake and have it.

Either stay and make it work or fucvking divorce this guy so he Marries some on else that will give him peace of mind. That's how I see it.

Amelian:


Have put her through one of my biz, her husband even came to meet me when he wanted to invest in the biz for her, for confirmation of what am doing and how well am doing mine. He was impressed and he asked how much capital will he need for her start. I told him 3M,. For everything. Office space and the rest. He said OK.
Even my friend was catching up slowly but surely.. So at end of training her. He then opened her own biz.
But one thing she lacks is vibrancy when talking to clients. She's too laid back and too relaxed if clients are making enquiries and asking her questions . Clients need to be convinced about what u have before they can put their money down for u.
If u can't convince them, they ain't coming back.
So her too laid back attitude and slow speech, I feel makes clients for the first time loose credibility about her skills. And thereby not coming back again.
She needs a PA to speak about her biz when customers comes but because of the money, the husband has invested so far.
He's not willingly to employ PA for her.. He feels, she's a graduate and should be able to talk to clients.
If I can do it conveniently , then why can't she.

So that's one flaw she has with the biz. And she's slow to think.
Have already told the husband, she should work in the ministry and federal govt ministry but he doesn't want his wife to work for anyone. He wants her to do biz, but she does not have brains for biz


Why I say it's a blessing? It's a blessing for the husband ,not her.
If the husband have money early this year, she would have travelled and she won't come. Back to him. That's why I said its a blessing for the husband.

I believe she falls into the beauty without brain category, no offence. She does not know what she has as a husband until it is gone. She should be striving but from the look of things, she isn't an entrepreneur at heart when compared to your capacity. With the way you speak, it is very evident that you have the entrepreneural zest in you, which is the hallmark of a thriving business entity.

I feel what the husband should do is try and find out what she loves and have a passion for instead shoving anything down her throat. I love the man for being more proactive.

The sad thing is that her foundation is quite faulty, which is the reason for the way she thinks. Imagine her parents supporting that she should leave her husband and go her way? What kind of parents are they? That is very sad and barbaric to say the least. I expected the father to have acted in a more prudent manner, being the man in the circle. Would he be happy if he heard such was the plan of his wife?

Amelian:




Definitely there are two sides to a coin.
My concern is this, why pretend to your husband that all is well, just to get money from him and run?

If she really wants to do it the proper way and she is indeed fed-up. Simply file for divorce. That's it. Don't pretend and scheme to collect lots of money, then scram. That's emotional fraud. And it's bad.
I even told her, this one u are complaining over petty things. Cause All are complains are petty, and it's for someone that's not ready for marriage. And I told her so. That look marriage is hard work and total dedication. Your husband does not smoke, he does not womanize, he works hard to make u happy. All u need is to be a dutiful wife at home and u are complaining.
What your husband se3ks from u, is what any reasonable married man out there will also require from their wives. There are some excuses she pointed out that sound silly to my ears, when she said she couldn't do it. And no need saying everything here.

So my point is. U hate the man so. Much.. Then fucvking divorce him properly. And why I said that is this. She wants to run away, go out there, do whatsoever without placing a closure to her marriage. The husband suffers emotionally and her child too. And he wHen he decides to remarry, she can then come back at any time she likes to claim, she is his legal wife? Abi? Giving his new wife later, headaches.
My dear, she cannot eat her cake and have it.

Either stay and make it work or fucvking divorce this guy so he Marries some on else that will give him peace of mind. That's how I see it.

True baby...true. she's just a scheming biatch!

I888:


I believe she falls into the beauty without brain category, no offence. The does not know what she has as a husband until it is gone. She should be striving but from the look of things, she isn't an entrepreneur at heart when compared to your capacity. With the way you speak, it is very evident that you have the entrepreneural zest in you, which is the hallmark of a thriving business entity.

I feel what the husband should do is try and find out what she loves and have a passion for instead shoving anything down her throat. I love the man for being more proactive.

The sad thing is that her foundation is quite faulty, which is the reason for the way she thinks. Imagine her parents supporting that she should leave her husband and go her way? What kind of parents are they? That is very sad and barbaric to say the least. I expected the father to have acted in a more prudent manner, being the man in the circle. Would he be happy if he heard such was the plan if his wife?

Thanks

But honestly am very disappointed in her parents. Very very dissapointed. For example, who cooks indomie for a successful marri3d man working his azz off, and comes home at night to eat. Who does that? I told her it's wrong, she said because she is tired and didn't feel. Like cooking that evening. I said for real?
And her husband was Insulting her, saying what the difference between her and a slut. And how can he say such.
I said my dear, if am your husband and am taking care of you financially and u are not working. My food must be ready. Real food.. And not indomie! We almost quarreled that day she was saying it. I was so enraged. Cause I know, how hungry I feel when am. Done from work and back home in the evening. I don't joke with food and I make sure I Take my time to cook, no. Matter how tired I am at work and I eat well. Cause I work hard. That's me a lady o
And assuming am a man now married to a woman, she is not working yet and she's saying she is tired ,because she went to help her mum in her shop . That's why she prepared Indomie.
Honestly I just held my anger and told her if u like listen, if u like don't listen.
She said what do I know about marriage. Am still single. I know. Nothing.. I said OK. No wahala. Do it as u like!
And the husband too, should allow her work than the business thing. So her focus now, is the Dubai thing. She's at home, and waiting for money to. Come, so she can travel.

sisisioge:


Wetin I go do nau? The bobo na London use

LOL @london use. London use products no dey last o.

Amelian:


Thanks

But honestly am very disappointed in her parents. Very very dissapointed. For example, who cooks indomie for a successful marri3d man working his azz off, and comes home at night to eat. Who does that? I told her it's wrong, she said because she is tired and didn't feel. Like cooking that evening. I said for real?
And her husband was Insulting her, saying what the difference between her and a slut. And how can he say such.
I said my dear, if am your husband and am taking care of you financially and u are not working. My food must be ready. Real food.. And not indomie! We almost quarreled that day she was saying it. I was so enraged. Cause I know, how hungry I feel when am. Done from work and back home in the evening. I don't joke with food and I make sure I Take my time to cook, no. Matter how tired I am at work and I eat well. Cause I work hard. That's me a lady o
And assuming am a man now married to a woman, she is not working yet and she's saying she is tired ,because she went to help her mum in her shop . That's why she prepared Indomie.
Honestly I just held my anger and told her if u like listen, if u like don't listen.
She said what do I know about marriage. Am still single. I know. Nothing.. I said OK. No wahala. Do it as u like!
And the husband too, should allow her work than the business thing. So her focus now, is the Dubai thing. She's at home, and waiting for money to. Come, so she can travel.

You can't teach an old man to learn how to use his left hand. The damage has been done and the husband has to manage her like that. I can not get married to a woman who isn't at least doing something for herself before I came into her life.

He met her immediately after NYSC right and they got married ASAP? That is a big mistake he made there because she didn't even strive for anything before she got married. She thinks the husband is the problem but SHE IS! It is laxity that killed her first business, which will kill the current one if same attitude isn't nipped in the bud. The husband was probably moved by beauty...SMH.

This is what happens when parents raise their kids, giving them everything on a platter of gold, making it seem like life is bed of roses. In all that has happened, the parents couldn't even blame their daughter for being a lazy asss but edge her on to end her marriage. They forgot that they will pass on and it will be their daughter against the world and her wickedness will be served to their daughter.

The parent of this girl have not done a good job in raising her at all. Beauty without brain, lazy? God forbid

I888:


You can't teach an old man to learn how to use his left hand. The damage has been done and the husband has to manage her like that. I can not get married to a woman who isn't at least doing something for herself before I came into her life.

He met her immediately after NYSC right and they got married ASAP? That is a big mistake he made there because she didn't even strive for anything before she got married. She thinks the husband is the problem but SHE IS! It is laxity that killed her first business, which will kill the current one if same attitude isn't nipped in the bud. The husband was probably moved by beauty...SMH.

This is what happens when parents raise their kids, giving them everything on a platter of gold, making it seem like life is bed of roses. In all that has happened, the parents couldn't even blame their daughter for being a lazy asss but edge her on to end her marriage. They forgot that they will pass on and it will be their daughter against the world and her wickedness will be served to their daughter.

The parent of this girl have not done a good job in raising her at all. Beauty without brain, lazy? God forbid

Exactly!
U got it!

This recession aren't no blessing. So many things I intended to achieve this year were not achieved cos of the recession.