Dear Asunnu,
This is serious, as some have said before me, the handwriting was on the wall prior to the marriage.

Don't stop giving him the necessary support he'd require especially while doing such high risk endeavours which includes not ridiculing or deriding him when he meets with loses.

Best regards,
Uncle.

Try and stop him now...make him visit some therapist.. Its not easy to stop at once...its a gradual process and am a living testimony..

Trust me ,he'll soon learn the hard way.

asunnu:
Dear Nairalanders, please advise a sister.
My marriage to my husband is just 13months and it's like I don't know him despite we courting for 6years before settling down.

My husband is so desperate (so to say) for money, he is into a lot of things I.e Lotto, MMM, get help, e.t.c that I'm not cool with. He has a well paid job, though I'm a stay home wife. Already told him he should let me know if the burden is too much on him so that I can get a job since he was the one that actually told me to stop work at the initial stage.

Please what's your take on it?

Your husband is doing the right thing to think solutions to have financial freedom.
If he is poor, would you still love him? I am sure you will remind him that his mates are multimillionaires.
So keep a positive attitude and support him. After all he is your husband

It is normal for him to be involved in many things. Do not be disturbed. Only support him and pray for his success. Blessings!

Hope your demands are not too high, that he is finding difficult to meet-up with salary alone?

asunnu:
Dear Nairalanders, please advise a sister.
My marriage to my husband is just 13months and it's like I don't know him despite we courting for 6years before settling down.

My husband is so desperate (so to say) for money, he is into a lot of things I.e Lotto, MMM, get help, e.t.c that I'm not cool with. He has a well paid job, though I'm a stay home wife. Already told him he should let me know if the burden is too much on him so that I can get a job since he was the one that actually told me to stop work at the initial stage.

Please what's your take on it?

What do women really want? Your husband is working hard to bring in money and ensure that the family is comfortable, you are complaining. If he is not doing enough to cater for the family you will still complain. I bow for women! As for your status of being a full house wife, I will rather advise you get something doing no matter how little. It makes you financially independent.

emeraldknytt:
Maybe I'll think of what to say but this moment, I believe a good husband shouldn't make his wife a full house asset unless certain criteria set in such as child(ren) upbringing. Opinions differ, mine is just a speck of dust at a sea shore.

HenryDion:

Going back to your catering job is definitely a wise choice.. Perhaps if he see you becoming more ambitious, he will respect and cherish you the more thereby letting you into every phase of his life. Men love seeing their wife take the bull by the horn.. Keep pressing forward.

emeraldknytt:
Maybe I'll think of what to say but this moment, I believe a good husband shouldn't make his wife a full house asset unless certain criteria set in such as child(ren) upbringing. Opinions differ, mine is just a speck of dust at a sea shore.

mature responses

fijiano202:
sorry i just have to laugh,that ur hubby is covetous he cant be satisfied,be prayerful cos desperation can lead to crazy things

The man is trying hard to make ends meet now...there is nothing wrong in having multiple source of income bc, if you fail to do that as a married man, you are on your own this recession. Who are among you are into only one biz? Pls, allow the man to hustle hard now he is still young and prepare for old age. I discovered sth abt some women, they want both attention, money and love at the same time...they want you to stay with them 24hrs, still provide enough money to sustain the family and still make love to them like a porn star. The problem with OP is ...she is not use to staying at home therefore, she is lacking the company of her hubby and friends. Solution is to get back to work but allow the man to make enough money, it lubricates the challenges in marriage.

Biko!! this MMM a Good Samaritan should explain in details how to go about it..... seems it's changing life's .

Catalin:
I like these type of husbands that chase money with all their strength

Yea babe...thats the spirit

Lotto is bad but MMM is cool.

Catalin:
I like these type of husbands that chase money with all their strength

Until dey use u and do rituals out of desperation

Too desperate for money you say? I'm 101% sure he is an igbo man

Something tells me this op took part in the yoruba demon rants while dating her hubby

Well almost all marriages like yours to them there lack communication, some domestic abuse etc. Their wives end up becoming public nuisances with little or no self respect

austinesteve:
Op I see ur hubby as a man who loves risk taking...talk to him about U going back to work for safety purposes, should anything happen to one of his investment I.e lotto, MMM etc. If U start working it will help as a backup for d family .

Lol. He calls lotto and MMM investments . I guess the definition of investments has changed in Nigeria. Why am i not surprised. Smh.

asunnu:
Dear Nairalanders, please advise a sister.
My marriage to my husband is just 13months and it's like I don't know him despite we courting for 6years before settling down.

My husband is so desperate (so to say) for money, he is into a lot of things I.e Lotto, MMM, get help, e.t.c that I'm not cool with. He has a well paid job, though I'm a stay home wife. Already told him he should let me know if the burden is too much on him so that I can get a job since he was the one that actually told me to stop work at the initial stage.

Please what's your take on it?

The rise and fall of any relationship rests solely on how well you guys communicate, and from wat i read above, you guys ain't communicating well enough....

The risk the young man is taking now shouldn't be yur worries but what will happen when the risk ain't worth taking anymore...

Talk to yur husband or find sm1 who can (a friend or family), let him approve yu working so he can have something to fall back on wen his investment went sour.

Pray to God to deliver your hubby. I think he is covetous. May God save ur family.

Better put him in prayers before problem start oh.

All of you supporting the husband under the guise that he is taking risk do not know what risk taking is, IMO. And those who say he is into a business, you have no idea what a business is.

The husband is just a gambler... pure and simple. A business is one that involves buying something and selling it, be it product or service. The gambling house is the business here, because they make money, whether you lose or gain, not the husband as the case might be.

It is a pity and OP, there is nothing you can do about a chronic gambler. I don't know what a well paying job means to you though but someone who has a good paying job wouldn't engage in this kind of things when there are many options out there that he can start with.

asunnu:

I sure do have a qualification and i have discussed the issue of job with him, I learnt Catering also but my strength does not permit since I'm pregnant. My fear is for him not to get into anything crazy since he is so desperate.

I caught him first with Lotto which he apologized about and deleted the app from his phone, it was later I now saw the other ones he's into and he has downloaded the lotto app again on his other phone.

..lolll...there is nothing wrong in chasing money up and dan. Some men cannot stand there wife lack needs. Check well, u will see bet9ja, nairabet and merrybet. 80% of Nigerian men do all this things...the wife may complain but when u bring the money they will smile.

Well, i don't think this is a big issue. A man should take calculated risks once in a while.
If bet9ja etc is what you call lotto, sometimes people bet with as low as 100Naira and its not a sin(i stand to be corrected).If you win,fine;if you don't, you move on.It's not about the good job and the good pay, it's about his hunger for success and trust me,alot of big boys do it low-key.
As for MMM, it still pays;meaning he has been getting his money back,plus extra 30% or more.That shouldn't be an issue except if its beginning to affect his job.

My sister, a man needs to take risks. Sometimes it pays and sometimes it doesn't but the fear of failure is actually failure in itself.
You should be thankful that it's not money ritual, armed robbery etc that he does.
Please pray for your husband to succeed cos it wont be a bad idea for you to live in your own house,own your own business,travel round the world,put your kids in the best schools etc. Life is sweet if you have what my son calls MANY-MONEY

asunnu:
Dear Nairalanders, please advise a sister.
My marriage to my husband is just 13months and it's like I don't know him despite we courting for 6years before settling down.

My husband is so desperate (so to say) for money, he is into a lot of things I.e Lotto, MMM, get help, e.t.c that I'm not cool with. He has a well paid job, though I'm a stay home wife. Already told him he should let me know if the burden is too much on him so that I can get a job since he was the one that actually told me to stop work at the initial stage.

Please what's your take on it?

[size=16pt]My dear, the pressure on him is ON but he couldn't just want to tell you perhaps the economic situation is forcing him for alternative source.

My Take: Talk to him about taking a job if you are without a child. You are still very much in your productive years I believe. You are still very much relevant to yourself and society you belong. Don't be relegated my sister.

Talk to him.[/size]

AuroraB:
Gambler-husband I'll tell you something, get used to it, he's not leaving that habit. ND hey, who 'earns good' yet gambles

Dangote...

I think you should start up something for urself you need to be a little bit hard on making decision if something goes wrong in the future u will be the one to suffer more,so help your self and always knw that you ave no choice but to help yourself bless you.

asunnu:
Dear Nairalanders, please advise a sister.
My marriage to my husband is just 13months and it's like I don't know him despite we courting for 6years before settling down.

My husband is so desperate (so to say) for money, he is into a lot of things I.e Lotto, MMM, get help, e.t.c that I'm not cool with. He has a well paid job, though I'm a stay home wife. Already told him he should let me know if the burden is too much on him so that I can get a job since he was the one that actually told me to stop work at the initial stage.

Please what's your take on it?

Thank God that he is not into bet9ja or other sports betting. Get a job closer to where you live and find a soft time to talk him out of his bad habit. If you could force him to drop other ladies for you, then he could be cajoled to turn better. Change the way you have been handling the issue.

asunnu:
Dear Nairalanders, please advise a sister.
My marriage to my husband is just 13months and it's like I don't know him despite we courting for 6years before settling down.

My husband is so desperate (so to say) for money, he is into a lot of things I.e Lotto, MMM, get help, e.t.c that I'm not cool with. He has a well paid job, though I'm a stay home wife. Already told him he should let me know if the burden is too much on him so that I can get a job since he was the one that actually told me to stop work at the initial stage.

Please what's your take on it?

Madam first thing first. U omitted the rules of having peace in ur marriage. Did u not go for marriage councelling? Ones of the issues that cause problems is money.
101 of marriage says among other rules. Its not really wise to have ur eye in where ur hubby invests his money cos it spells out trouble later. Now as u have already put ur eyes into it and seen what u didn't want to see. Do u understand why u should have not have looked at all in the first place.
People will tell u to talk to him and sometimes it works but I have seen times it didn't. Then will u not just have a hubby who thinks u don't understand him but also a stranger in ur bed. Now to prevent this I have always advocated for women to never give in on their careers when their husbands ask them to stop work. The reason is that it makes u dependent on him and this gives room for u to always put ur nose in his business weather he wants it there or not. Am sure if u had ur own money u won't bother much where he puts his money so do the right thing. Get urself a job or set up a business and remove ur eyes partially from his stuff. This will save u a lot of headache and make u independent just in case for a rainy day.

Whether you are working, making millions and a loving wife at the same time; your husband is a compulsive gambler. And most compulsive gamblers, if not all are professional liars, pretenders and very greedy.

This behavior has nothing to do with him being rich or poor. Matter of fact, it becomes very manifest when one is rich.

Only prayers, counselling, new environment and new no nonsense friends can save him. If not, it will be a matter of time before he stakes you and the children or use you for rituals.

HenryDion:


I think communication is lacking in your relationship.. You courted him for 6 years and yet, communication is an issue? I really don't understand ma'am. You both need to sit down, watch the beautiful stars and then talk. If he's not ready to initiate a conversation, please do. Through that, intentions and desires are made known.. What are your visions? What about his? How are you both working toward it? His current lifestyle shows of a man without a destination. You're a helper, help him go to the right path.
And again, being a full time housewife isn't cool. i mean, who does that in this century? You are here for a reason and your purpose in life isn't all about raising kids or mobbing the floor. Talk to your hubby about getting a job. You need to have your own priceless experience and touch lives in any little way you can. Time has gone when the female gender are been tied to the kitchen.
Wishing you a blissful life..

What do you mean with his current life style has no destination? Do you think everyone rely on their salary alone? Life is about choice. I am a single working class guy. I run MMM, Ultimate cycler etc. It's my life and I am not complaining because it is fetching me extral cash.


Do you know what rich and wealthy men do to keep their high financial life going? They involved in different kind of business not salary alone. The man is trying to keep the family going, you are there saying he has not destination. Do you know what it takes to run a home when your wife isn't working?


Let the man be... Life is a risk.

asunnu:

I sure do have a qualification and i have discussed the issue of job with him, I learnt Catering also but my strength does not permit since I'm pregnant. My fear is for him not to get into anything crazy since he is so desperate.

I caught him first with Lotto which he apologized about and deleted the app from his phone, it was later I now saw the other ones he's into and he has downloaded the lotto app again on his other phone.

Sister. I am a lotto agent and I will never advise my worst enemy to get involved in that game. Lotto has a way of degrading one's standard of living if desperation to hit quick and easy money is involved. It should be a past time not a means to hammer. Please find a way to make him stop.