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Re: The Magic Of Distance In Relationships by Nobody: 6:35pm On Dec 01, 2016 |
Mindfulness: Many thanks, buddy. ... You can see I used the Die Stachelsweine parable because of you. Or did you think it was an innocent coincidence? |
Re: The Magic Of Distance In Relationships by joseph1832(m): 6:37pm On Dec 01, 2016 |
^^^ 1 Like
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Re: The Magic Of Distance In Relationships by Nobody: 6:40pm On Dec 01, 2016 |
KissChrix: Many, many thanks. |
Re: The Magic Of Distance In Relationships by Nobody: 6:45pm On Dec 01, 2016 |
joseph1832: Your goal. |
Re: The Magic Of Distance In Relationships by joseph1832(m): 6:47pm On Dec 01, 2016 |
Mindfulness:Then again, opinions have caused more harm than personal feelings. |
Re: The Magic Of Distance In Relationships by Nobody: 6:49pm On Dec 01, 2016 |
joseph1832: Your goal is based on nothing else but a personal feeling of neediness. 3 Likes |
Re: The Magic Of Distance In Relationships by joseph1832(m): 6:51pm On Dec 01, 2016 |
Mindfulness:And yours is based on personal feeling of selfishness, right? |
Re: The Magic Of Distance In Relationships by Nobody: 6:54pm On Dec 01, 2016 |
joseph1832: And neediness is what? Altruistic? Like I told you, not being able to give your partner some space is selfishness at its peak. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: The Magic Of Distance In Relationships by joseph1832(m): 6:59pm On Dec 01, 2016 |
Mindfulness:Nope, neediness is sometimes clouded by selfishness, agreed. Then again, when that partner accuse you of ignoring her just because you gave her the space she crave for is a valid eye opener. As James Hardley Chase say, You Never Know With Women. |
Re: The Magic Of Distance In Relationships by Nobody: 7:00pm On Dec 01, 2016 |
joseph1832: Fixed. |
Re: The Magic Of Distance In Relationships by joseph1832(m): 7:05pm On Dec 01, 2016 |
Mindfulness:Kiss me and we're square, then again, always sound absolute, and absolutism isn't nice, pave way for narrow-mindedness. |
Re: The Magic Of Distance In Relationships by Nobody: 7:23pm On Dec 01, 2016 |
joseph1832: I have often been accused of being an adherent of relativism on this forum. Today I am leaning toward absolutism and people are still not happy. There is no pleasing everyone so I will stick to pleasing myself. |
Re: The Magic Of Distance In Relationships by joseph1832(m): 7:26pm On Dec 01, 2016 |
Mindfulness:There again the selfish persona surface. And again, it's your world, you're king, you're queen, you should do what makes you happy. |
Re: The Magic Of Distance In Relationships by Nobody: 7:28pm On Dec 01, 2016 |
joseph1832: Just like you when you refuse to give your partner space. |
Re: The Magic Of Distance In Relationships by Oahray: 7:37pm On Dec 01, 2016 |
Well-said op. A little distance CAN be a spice in thereabout any human relationship. However, I agree with the lady that said that it depends on individual. Nearly every "rule" on relationships falls flat on its face if difference in personality is disregarded. You'd need to understand yourself, and work towards understanding your partner. Some like to have their me-time regularly, and cannot bear the thought of being stuck with someone 24/7. For these, they need lots of space from time to time. Some others get their energy from being around others as often as possible. In a romantic or marital relationship, these latter ones would feel abandoned when there isn't constant presence or feedback. For these, the few hours spent away from each other each day is enough. Yeah, I'd like to call that distance 'space'. I think it's more fitting in the long run, as your write-up focuses on premarital relationships. What happens when they are married and now live together? Would married mates have to take weekly trips separate from each other to keep the fire burning? In the end, whether or not distance makes the heart fonder depends on what you do when you are together. If it's the same boring monotony, even distance can't help that relationship. They would simply drift apart. 1 Like |
Re: The Magic Of Distance In Relationships by joseph1832(m): 7:38pm On Dec 01, 2016 |
Mindfulness:Then again, we're one of a kind, coming from different angles... Remember the law of magnetism? "Unlike poll attract". 1 Like |
Re: The Magic Of Distance In Relationships by Nobody: 7:40pm On Dec 01, 2016 |
Oahray: When the two have a job and other obligations (children, aging parents, etc.), they will not see each other for more than a few hours every day and sometimes even less. |
Re: The Magic Of Distance In Relationships by Nobody: 7:43pm On Dec 01, 2016 |
joseph1832: We are all of one kind, selfishly made. But we were raised to think of it as something that must be fought so that people can manipulate us into doing something they want for selfish reasons. It's like saying, I am not selfish for expecting of you what I want but you are selfish if you do not give me what I selfishly want. Am not sure if you are trying to flirt with me but I am happily taken. |
Re: The Magic Of Distance In Relationships by sweetilicious(f): 7:44pm On Dec 01, 2016 |
DarkRebel101:Okay i get you. |
Re: The Magic Of Distance In Relationships by Oahray: 7:45pm On Dec 01, 2016 |
Mindfulness:then there is no need bringing up the distance issue in premarital relationships. With the exception of live-in lovers, people dating see each other less often than married couples living together. |
Re: The Magic Of Distance In Relationships by Oahray: 7:57pm On Dec 01, 2016 |
Mindfulness:many... Not everyone. I only objected to the one-size-fit all approach the opening post took. The suffocation is caused by personality differences. What is too much space for one isn't enough space for the other. |
Re: The Magic Of Distance In Relationships by Nobody: 7:59pm On Dec 01, 2016 |
Oahray: True. |
Re: The Magic Of Distance In Relationships by Nobody: 8:03pm On Dec 01, 2016 |
You folks are derailing my thread. |
Re: The Magic Of Distance In Relationships by Nobody: 8:03pm On Dec 01, 2016 |
DarkRebel101: |
Re: The Magic Of Distance In Relationships by joseph1832(m): 8:04pm On Dec 01, 2016 |
Mindfulness:Oh you're most welcome. Your mind is always an interesting read. It's rich in its own mindfulness. |
Re: The Magic Of Distance In Relationships by Nobody: 8:10pm On Dec 01, 2016 |
Oahray: I appreciate your input. You're right about my zeroing focus on only premarital relationships. This is so because I have first-hand experiences in that regard. I can't say this applies in marriages as well because I have no experience whatsoever in that station. But I don't think a little distance in marriages is far-fetched. Couples do it all the time, howbeit they take a more subtle and modest approach. Sometimes they don't even need to create distance as circumstances create the distance for them. Circumstances like work, children, etc. |
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