Incline:


The foolish solution you're offering is for her to abort. I'm not against your choice or her choice to be having pre-marital sex but if she gets pregnant a third time, you're going to tell her to abort again. For how long is going to be aborting? My solution's for her to work on her selfesteem and lay off the sex, at least till she meets someone ready to walk her down the isle with her. Comparing se.x with shi--tting is sTTUPPID. Shi--tting's a necessity, something we need to be doing, plus its lack can cause death. Se.x isn't a necessity. It's not a necessity in a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship and its lack causes no death as in no one dies from abstaining. She's not a virgin anymore, I get, but she can still become celibate and wait for the right man, someone who's going to marry her instead of continuing to give her body to men who only want to hit and run. If you keep making the same mistake maybe it's time to do something different!! A buddy of mine got a chick pregnant 3 years ago, this was a chop and clean mouth situation. He didn't love her one bit but chick was too blinded too see it, he went to her anytime he wanted sex. He sees the kid and plays his duty as his father now but wants nothing to do with the chick. In fact, he has a fiancee now he's planning to marry next year. You ladies should be wiser.

Where did I tell her to abort? Reading comprehension issues? And you have the audacity to call anyone foolish.

EfemenaXY:


Lol!!

I had a little peek at my work phone (email) and wish I didn't. Fancy your boss and boss's boss awaiting your return

Now I know what's being thrown my direction (and more). Argghh! Not complaining though, ''tis good to add value to the team.

Amen! I love that too.

@Troubledheart , my advice will be to inform your baby daddy first. If he supports you, fine. If he doesn't, take the bulls by the horns and take care of ur child yourself as best as you can.
A friend's baby daddy told her to get an abortion since they did not have money to wed talk more of caring for a baby. He had no stable job then. My friend said no that she will take care of the baby herself anyhow. The man changed his mind. Today, they are married and have added another child. If she had aborted then, I doubt they would have gotten married or still be together now.

Then my dear, I bet you will get married later to someone else and be looking to have children with him. If you can, let this one live. I wish you the best.

troubledheart:


Recent ex.
I must have conceived before the actual breakup. It's not really a question of him wanting the child, I know if I insist and throw lil tantrums,he will support me. But we broke up because he couldn't see a future for us.. then bringing this up to him would make it appear like am trying to trap him with pregnancy knowing fully well his stance about kids out of wedlock.. I don't want to force him to be with me because of this and in the end having an unhappy home, hence my decision to abort. And no, I can't take care of another child on my own.

I am going to be the devil's advocate here and I don't care how anyone perceives it. We are talking about reality here and not some movie where everything returns to normal after the "take 1, camera, action".

I can see you desire to have a home and family of your own hence the mention of your desire to be married soon in not later than 1 - 2 years. Being a single mum in all honesty has dimmed your chances by say 20%, but being a single mother of 2 not from a failed marriage or you being widowed, babe that's a sour grape. It will deal you marriage dreams the deadliest blow you can think of. It doesn't completely erase the chances of you getting married but having a second child as a single mum will make the road to marriage tougher.

My only advice is to get an abortion. I don't know your financial muscles I would have suggested you keep the baby, forget about marriage and bring up your kids all by yourself even though its never an easy fit. But looking at your story, it doesn't seem to me that you have the capacity so please, go for termination.

troubledheart:


Thanks for this... myself and him are on speaking terms right now . I honestly just don't want to force his hand..I know if I insist, he will actually succum.. but would that actually make me happy? We already broke up and I don't want pregnancy to be the yard stick to reconciliation. If you know me personally, you will understand that ever since I had my first, I don't leave anything to chance. I'm aways careful. I'm still in total shock at this pregnancy. But in all. . I know it is well.

Oh! This sounds good. Since you and him are seeking to forge a common ground, I'd at this point recant my former submission. I wish you the best.

troubledheart:
I know a lot of you will condemn me to the fullest.. I deserve it I know.
They say the first is always accepted to be a mistake, but afterwards it's a choice.
I am a regular and well known nairalander, had to create this account to hide my identity.
I'm a single mother of one.
Just discovered right now that I'm pregnant for a recent ex(I already conceived unknowingly before the breakup )...and telling him about it is not even an option.
I feel so bad because I know I can't keep it...
I never expected this because all through the relationship I was careful.. condoms and contraceptives..up to the last time we met and that's why am so sad..while abortion is the best option for me right now, my heart wishes differently..I wish there was another way.. I can't even tell anyone I know about it, hence my typing this here..
My story is actually too long to type.. but am far from a bad person. I have a good heart and I love with all I've got, I'm not moved by material things and I often assist my partner wen I can, yet I always end up loving the wrong ones.
I don't want to be pitied, I can take the hard truth.

Don't abort the child, tell your ex about the child.