Image123:

LOLLYmas

You cracked it. Bravo!

OLAADEGBU:

What did Adam say to Eve at Christmas?

It's Christmas, Eve!

The Christmas Traveller.

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Happy Incarnation Day!

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OLAADEGBU:

One wonders what hymn the wise men sang on their journey to Bethlehem since it took them many months to reach their destination. On their way they must have conversed, so let's see what would be the the top 7 things they said:

The top 7 things overheard on the Wise men's journey to Bethlehem:

7. "Man, I'm starting to get a rush from this frankincense!"
6. "You guys ever eat camel meat? I hear it tastes like goat."
5. "You know, I used to go school with a girl called Beth Lehem."
4. "What kind of name is Balthazar anyhow? Phoenician?"
3. "Hey, does any of you know why MYRRH is spelt with a Y instead of a U?"
2. "Okay, whose camel just spat?"

And the No. 1 thing overheard on the Wise Men's journey to Bethlehem was:

1. "All this staring at a star while riding a camel is making me woozy."

Guy, if u wake my famly eh? I am so LoL. Nice of u. Kip giving us godly humuor. Cheers.

OLAADEGBU:

It's Christmas, Eve!

When Adam stayed out very late for a few nights, Eve became upset. 

"You're running around with other women," she charged,

"You're being unreasonable," Adam responded, "You're the only woman on earth." 

The quarrel continued until Adam fell asleep, only to be awakened by someone poking him in the chest.  It was Eve.

"What do you think you're doing?" Adam demanded.

"Counting your ribs," said Eve.

-- J. John and Mark Stibbe

An Happy Old New Year.

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LOL!

Methuselah at it again.

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Who was the luckiest, rather most blessed man on earth?

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Answer: Adam, because he didn't have a mother-in-law.

Taylor Mason with Paco the Pig

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K3chTCJExNQ&feature=player_embedded#!

God Created heaven and the earth.  Quickly He was faced with a class action suit for failure to file an environmental impact statement.  He was granted a temporary permit for the project, but was stymied with the cease and desist order for the earthly part.

Appearing at the hearing, God was asked why He began His earthly project in the first place.  He replied that He just liked to be creative.

Then God said, "Let there be light", and immediately the officials demanded to know how the light would be made.  Would there be strip mining?  What about thermal pollution?  God explained that the light would come from a huge ball of fire.  God was granted provisional permission to make light, assuming that no smoke would result from the ball of fire: that He would obtain a building permit; and to conserve energy, would turn the light off half the time.  God agreed and said He would call the light "Day" and the darkness "Night". Officials replied that they were not interested in semantics.

God said, "Let the earth bring forth green herb and bear much seed". The EPA agreed so long as native seed was used.  Then God said, "Let waters bring forth creeping creatures begetting life; and the fowl that may fly over the earth".  Officials pointed out this would require approval from the Department of Game coordinated with the Heavenly Wildlife Federation and the Audubongelic Society.

Everything was O.K. until God said He wanted to complete the project in Six days.  Officials said it would take at least 200 days to review the application and impact statement.  After that there would be a public hearing.  Then there would be a 10-12 month approval period before, . . .   

At this point God created Hell.  

-- Anonymous

@seyibrown, SeanT21, image123, Somatic and other viewers, I wish you all a happy new year enjoy Taylor Mason with Paquito

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Thanks, OLADEEGBU! Happy New year!

seyibrown:

Thanks, OLADEEGBU! Happy New year!

Compliment of the season. Here is Taylor Mason with his piano in thou shalt laugh 2

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Delilah - The Samson Version by Tim Hawkins

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http://www.tangle.com/view_video.php?viewkey=be833e860d36c0b4fe4b

The 10 Commandments in your own language.

[list]
1.  I am the Lord thy God, thou shalt not have any other gods before me.
          I'm God.  Don't play me.
[/list]

[list]
2.  Thou shalt not have any graven images 
           Don't be makin no hood ornaments and charms out of me, or like me.
[/list]
[list]
3.  Thou shalt not use the name of the Lord thy God in vain  
         Don't be callin' me for no reason.
[/list]
[list]
4.  Remember to keep the Sabbath day holy 
          Y'all betta be in church on Sunday, and not just the Sundays when it's Mother's day, Easter and Christmas
[/list]
[list]
5.  Honour thy father and thy mother 
          Don't Diss or cuss out yo momma,  and if you know who ya daddy is, don't Diss him neither.
[/list]
[list]
6.  Thou shalt not kill  
          Don't be goin' on no drive bys.
[/list]
[list]
7.  Thou shalt not commit adultery   
          Stick to ya own Boo.
[/list]
[list]
8.  Thou shalt not steal 
          Don't be borrow'n stuff and don't give it back.
[/list]
[list]
9.  Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy brother
          Don't be snitchin' on the otha' man to save your behind.
[/list]
[list]
10.  Thou shalt not covet anything that belongs to thy brother. 
            Don't be eyein' (skeeming) yo homie's crib, ride, woman, or nuffin.
[/list]

-- A N/lander

Experiential Faith

"And this is life eternal, that they might know you the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent." -- John 17:3 The Evidence Bible

Our faith isn't intellectual; it is experiential.  We don't know about God, we know Him.  At the University of Chicago Divinity School, each year they have what is called "Baptist Day."  It is a day when the school invites all the Baptists in the area to the school because they want the Baptist dollars to keep coming in. 

On this day each one is to bring a lunch to be eaten outdoors in a grassy picnic area.  Every "Baptist Day" the school would invite one of the greatest minds to lecture in the theological education centre.  One year they invited Dr. Paul Tillich.  Dr. Tillich spoke for two and a half hours proving that the resurrection of Jesus was false.  He quoted scholar after scholar and book after book.  He concluded that since there was no such thing as the historical resurrection, the religion tradition of the Church was groundless, emotional mumbo jumbo, because it was based on a relationship with a risen Jesus, who, in fact, never rose from the dead in any literal sense.  He then asked if there were any questions.

After about 30 seconds, an old preacher with a head of short-cropped, woolly white hair stood up in the back of the audience.  "Docta Tillich, I got one question," he said as all eyes turned toward him.  He reached into his lunch sack and pulled out an apple and began eating it.  "Docta Tillich (CRUNCH MUNCH), my question is a simple one (CRUNCH MUNCH).  Now, I ain't never read them books you read (CRUNCH MUNCH), and I can't recite the Scriptures in the original Greek (CRUNCH MUNCH).  I don't know nothin' about Niebuhr and Heidegger (CRUNCH MUNCH).  He finished the apple.  "All I wanna know is: This apple I just ate -- was it bitter or sweet?"

Dr. Tillich paused for a moment and answered in exemplary scholarly fashion: "I cannot possibly answer that question, for I haven't tasted your apple."  The white-haired preacher dropped the apple core into his crumpled paper bag, looked up at Dr. Tillich and said calmly, "Neither have you tasted my Jesus."

The 1,000-plus in attendance could not contain themselves.  The auditorium erupted with applause and cheers.  Dr. Tillich thanked his audience and promptly left the platform.

"Taste and see that the Lord is good: blessed is the man that trusts in him" (Psalm 34:. 

It has been well said, "The man with an experience is not at the mercy of a man with an argument."

Directions Home


I really like this one. Someone spent a lot of time on this,
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`) ( | | | | | | | || |l±±±±| ]
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DIRECTIONS TO OUR FATHER'S HOUSE.

Make a Right onto Believeth Blvd.

Keep straight and go through the Green Light, which is Jesus Christ.

There, you must turn onto the Bridge of Faith, which is over troubled
waters.

When you get off the bridge, make a Right turn and Keep Straight.

You are on the King's Highway of Holiness - Heaven-bound.

Keep going for three miles:

One for the Father, One for the Son, and One for the Holy Spirit.  Amen, Amen
Amen!.

Then exit off onto Grace Blvd.

From there, make a Right turn on Gospel Lane.

Keep Straight and then make another Right on Prayer Road.

As you go on your way,

Yield Not to the traffic on Temptation Ave.

Also, avoid SIN STREET because it is a DEAD END. (cul-de-sac)

Pass up Envy Drive, and Hate Avenue.

Also, pass Hypocrisy Street, Gossiping Lane, and Backbiting Blvd.
However, you have to go down Long-suffering Lane, Persecution Blvd. and
Trials and Tribulations Ave.

But that's all right, because VICTORY Street is straight ahead!
Glory AMEN!!!!!

SEND THESE DIRECTIONS TO YOUR FRIENDS SO THEY WILL NOT GET LOST.

Amen, Amen Amen!.

A Lesson For Married Couples And Singles (sent by e-mail)

You can enjoy and be revived daily, she's God's perfect match for you, maybe a change of attitude will help.
read on !

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and
said,

'I've got something to tell you'.

She sat down and ate quietly.  Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth.  But I had to let her know what
I was thinking.  I want a divorce.  I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly,

'Why?'

I avoided her question.  This made her angry.  She threw away the chopsticks
and  shouted at me,

'You are not a man!'

That night, we didn' t talk to each other.  She was weeping.  I knew she
wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage.  But I could hardly
give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to a lovely girl
called Dew.  I did'nt love her anymore.  I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that
she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.  She glanced
at it and then tore it into pieces.  The woman who had spent ten years of
her life with me had  become a stranger.  I felt sorry for her wasted time,
resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved
Dew so dearly.  Finally she cried  loudly in front of me, which was what I
had expected to see.  To me her cry was actually a kind of release.  The idea
of divorce which had obsessed me for several  weeks seemed to be firmer and
clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at
the table.  I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep
very fast  because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew.  When I woke
up, she was still there at the table writing.  I just did not care so I
turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want
anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce.  She
requested that in that  one month we both struggle to live as normal a life
as possible.  Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a months time
and she didn't want to disrupt  him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me.  But she had something more, she asked me to
recall how I had carried her into our bridal room on our wedding day.  She
requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our
bedroom to the front door every morning.  I thought she was
going crazy.   Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted
her odd request.

I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions.  She laughed loudly and
thought it was absurd.  No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face
the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was
explicitly expressed.  So when I carried her out on the first day, we both
appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his
arms.  His words brought me a sense of pain.  From the bedroom to the sitting
room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms.  She
closed her eyes and said softly;

'Don't tell our son about the divorce'.

I nodded, feeling somewhat upset.  I put her down outside the door.  She went
to  wait for the bus to work.  I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily.  She leaned on my
chest.  I could smell the fragrance of her blouse.  I realized that I hadn' t
looked at this woman carefully for a long time.  I realised she was  not
young any more.  There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying!
Our marriage had taken its toll on her.  For a minute I wondered what I had
done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a  sense of intimacy
returning.  This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to
me.   On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of
intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this.   It became
easier to carry her as the month slipped by.  Perhaps the everyday workout
made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning.  She tried on quite a few dresses
but could not find a suitable  one.  Then she sighed, all my dresses have
grown bigger.  I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the
reason why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me.  She had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart.
Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.  Our son came in at the
moment and said,

'Dad, it's time to carry mum out.'   To him, seeing his father
carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his  life.  My wife
gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly.  I turned my face
away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute.  I then
held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom,  through the sitting room, to
the hallway.  Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her
body tightly, it was just like our wedding day.  But her much lighter weight made me sad.   On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step.  Our son had gone
to school.  I held her tightly and said, I had'nt noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office,  jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the
door.  I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind,  I walked
upstairs.  Dew opened the door and I said to her,

'Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore.'

She looked at me, astonished.  Then touched my forehead.

'Do you have a fever?'

She said.  I moved her hand off my head.

'Sorry, Dew', I said,  'I won't divorce.  My marriage life was boring
probably because  she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not
because we didn't love each other any more.  Now I realise that since I
carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until
death do us apart.'

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up.  She gave me  a loud slap and then slammed
the door and burst into tears.  I walked downstairs and drove away.  At the
floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife.  The
salesgirl asked me what to  write on the card.  I smiled and wrote,

'I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.'

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship.
It is not the mansion, the car, property , the money in the bank,  blah, blah,  blah.   These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.  So find time to be
your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that  build intimacy.  Do have a real happy marriage!

Taylor Mason with Romeo

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seyibrown:


LOL!

The proofs in the pudding indeed.

^^^

happy new year OLA . . . . wishing u all the very best. I just saw ur wishes on the other thread. thanks.

It's been a while since you posted anything about Obama. What's up with that?

noetic16:

^^^

happy new year OLA . . . . wishing u all the very best. I just saw your wishes on the other thread. thanks.

Compliments of the season. Grace, mercy and peace of the Lord be multiplied to you.

Martian:

It's been a while since you posted anything about Obama. What's up with that?

I should congratulate you for his 'successful' passing of the gay bill into the constitution.  Folks can now crawl out of the woodworks and be seen. Check the Obama link below to see what's up.

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-461202.0.html

Taylor Mason and the Obama debate Show

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OLAADEGBU:

I should congratulate you for his 'successful' passing of the gay bill into the constitution.  Folks can now crawl out of the woodworks and be seen. Check the Obama link below to see what's up.

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-461202.0.html

Bigot

Martian:

Bigot

Is this e-booklet the reason you think 'am a bigot? Read it and you will see why your response is similar to the ones made by those lovely guys there.

Uninivited

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OLAADEGBU:

Is this e-booklet the reason you think 'am a bigot? Read it and you will see why your response is similar to the ones made by those lovely guys there.

Uninivited

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No, I don't read your links. I think you're a bigot because of your posts.