Martian:

No, I don't read your links. I think you're a bigot because of your posts.

If you wouldn't read, couldn't read or don't read my links here are pictures they speak louder than words.

OLAADEGBU:

If you wouldn't read, couldn't read or don't read my links here are pictures they speak louder than words.

Ok, a cartoon of a woman telling AIDS victims they are going to hell. Okaaaaaay then, what exactly is your point. You're still nothing but a ignorant fundamentalist bigot. 

Besides you're not going to survive your own death, once your brain stops functioning, you die and your body starts to decompose. It's basic biology really.

If the catholic church that gave you your magical Jewish sky daddy now say their cock and bull Adam and eve story is an allegory, why do you still believe in the original sin doctrine?

Martian:

Ok, a cartoon of a woman telling AIDS victims they are going to hell. Okaaaaaay then, what exactly is your point. You're still nothing but a ignorant fundamentalist bigot. 

Besides you're not going to survive your own death, once your brain stops functioning, you die and your body starts to decompose. It's basic biology really.

If the catholic church that gave you your magical Jewish sky daddy now say their cock and bull Adam and eve story is an allegory, why do you still believe in the original sin doctrine?

Only had you read the Holy Bible, which was not given by the 'catholic church' you would not be jumping to uneducated conclusions just as you have just done to the story in the cartoon.

OLAADEGBU:

Only had you read the Holy Bible, which was not given by the 'catholic church' you would not be jumping to uneducated conclusions just as you have just done to the story in the cartoon.

I've read the bible, it's freaking boring and absolutely ridiculous for the most part. 
Anyway, I'm done going back and forth with you. I agree with you that the catholic church didn't write the bible. It was sent down from space by sky daddy. Perseus, sorry, Jesus brought it riding a flying horse through the clouds.

Martian:

I've read the bible, it's freaking boring and absolutely ridiculous for the most part. 
Anyway, I'm done going back and forth with you. I agree with you that the catholic church didn't write the bible. It was sent down from space by sky daddy. Perseus, sorry, Jesus brought it riding a flying horse through the clouds.

"But the natural man receives not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness to him: neither can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned." -- 1 Corinthians 2:14

The Holy Bible tells us that the "natural man" cannot understand the things of the Spirit of God.  Most people would find it difficult to understand the Chinese language but a child born into a Chinese family can understand every word.  That's why you must be born again with God's Spirit living within you (See John 3:3).  The Bible will begin to make sense to you the moment you become part of God's family.  Now, lets continue with the woman's story.

http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/1070/1070_01.asp

Uninivited (Contd).

[flash=500,400]http://media.chick.com/preview.swf[/flash]

Uninivited (Continued).

[flash=500,400]http://media.chick.com/preview.swf[/flash]

Uninivited (Continued).

Uninvited -- revisited

100 Points!

"For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:  Not of works, lest any man should boast" (Ephesians 2:8,9).

A man dies and finds himself at the pearly gates.  An angel meets him and asks what he was doing at the gate. 

"I want to go in,"

he says. 

"Can I?,"

The angel replies,

"Here’s how it works.  You need 100 points to make it into heaven.  You tell me all the good things you’ve done, and I will give you a certain number of points for each item, depending on how good it was.  When you reach 100 points, you get in." 

"Okay?,"

the man says,

"I was married to the same woman for 50 years and never cheated on her, even in my heart." 

"That's wonderful," says the angel,

"that's worth 3 points!,"

"three points?!," the man exclaimed while wondering in his mind how he can meet up with the 100 points. 

"Well, I attended church all my life and supported its ministry with my tithes and offerings."

"terrific!," says the angel. 

"that's certainly worth a point!,"

"One point?!," he shouted. 

"I started a soup kitchen for the homeless in my city and worked in an orphanage for motherless babies." 

"Fantastic, that's good for two more points," he says. 

"Two points?!," Exasperated, the man cries,

"Well, at this rate it’ll just be by the grace of God that I ever get into heaven." 

"Bingo, 100 points!," the angel said,

"Come on in!,"

Taylor Mason with Paquito

[flash=500,400]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jpA455pBtoA&hl=en_GB&feature=player_embedded&version=3[/flash]

Comedy with Taylor Mason in Austrailia

[flash=500,400]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6-14f0l13dw&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xd0d0d0&hl=en_GB&feature=player_embedded&fs=1[/flash]


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MmrevhzVcD8&feature=related

Jesus Saves

Jesus and satan have an argument as to who is the better programmer.  This goes on for a few hours until they agree to hold a contest, with God, the Father as the judge.  They set themselves before their computers and begin.  They type furiously, lines of code streaming up the screen, for several hours straight. Seconds before the end of the competition, a bolt of lightning strikes, taking out the electricity (UP NEPA!).  Moments later, the power is restored, and God announces that the contest is over.

He asks satan to show what he has come up with.  satan is visibly upset, and cries,

"I have nothing. I lost it all when the power went out."

"Very well, then," says God,

"let us see if Jesus fared any better."

Jesus enters a command, and the screen comes to life in vivid display, the voices of an angelic choir pouring forth from the speakers.  satan is astonished.

"B-b-but how?"

he stutters.

"I lost everything, yet Jesus' program is intact! How did he do it?"

God chuckles.

"Everybody knows that. Jesus saves."

OLAADEGBU:

Jesus Saves

Jesus and satan have an argument as to who is the better programmer.  This goes on for a few hours until they agree to hold a contest, with God, the Father as the judge.  They set themselves before their computers and begin.  They type furiously, lines of code streaming up the screen, for several hours straight. Seconds before the end of the competition, a bolt of lightning strikes, taking out the electricity (UP NEPA!).  Moments later, the power is restored, and God announces that the contest is over.

He asks satan to show what he has come up with.  satan is visibly upset, and cries,

"I have nothing. I lost it all when the power went out."

"Very well, then," says God,

"let us see if Jesus fared any better."

Jesus enters a command, and the screen comes to life in vivid display, the voices of an angelic choir pouring forth from the speakers.  satan is astonished.

"B-b-but how?"

he stutters.

"I lost everything, yet Jesus' program is intact! How did he do it?"

God chuckles.

"Everybody knows that. Jesus saves."

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.

Martian:

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.

I hope you laugh at the joke about atheists in the link below.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MmrevhzVcD8&feature=related

OLAADEGBU:

I hope you laugh at the joke about atheists in the link below.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MmrevhzVcD8&feature=related

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA Bunch of ignorant southern fundies in a circlejerk HA HA HA HA HA HA.

Heavenly Conversation.

Gabriel came to the Lord and said:

"I have to talk to you. I have some Nigerians up here in Heaven who are causing some problems. They are swinging on the Pearly Gates, my horn is gone missing, Maggi sauce and Ogbono soup are all over their robes; hamhocks, Isi-ewu, Cow-feet and Bokoto bones are all over the streets of Gold; some folks are walking around with one wing, they have been late taking their turn in keeping the stairway to heaven clean. There are beer bottles all over the clouds, some aren't even wearing their halos, saying it doesn't fit with their hairstyles."

The Lord said:

"I made them special, as I did you, my angel. Heaven is home to all my children. If you really want to know about problems, let's call the Devil."

The Devil answered the phone:

"Hello? What the . . . !, hold on one minute."

The Devil returned to the phone and said:

"Hello Lord, what can I do you for?"

The Lord replied:

"Tell me what kind of problems you are having down there."

The Devil said:

"Wait one minute,"

And put the Lord on hold. After 5 minutes he returned to the phone, and said:

"Okay, I'm back. What was the question again?"

The Lord said:

"What kind of problems are you having down there?"

The Devil said:

"Man, I don't belieee . . . . hold on, Lord" .

This time the Devil was gone for 15 minutes. The Devil returned and said:

"I'm sorry Lord, I can't talk right now. These Nigerians put the fire out, and now they are trying to install air conditioning! They even bribed my guys!"

Source

Bible Quiz

[list]
[li]Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he got married?
A. Ruth-less.

Q. Who was the first drug addict in the Bible?
A. Nebuchadnezzar: he was on grass for seven years.

Q. Where is the first baseball game in the Bible?
A. In the big inning. Eve stole first, Adam stole second. Cain struck out Abel. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.

Q. Who were the happiest and blessed couple in the world?
A.  Adam and Eve. Neither of them had a mother-in-law.

Q.  What did Adam say to Eve at the first Christmas?
A.  Its Christmas, Eve.
     
Q. How did Adam and Eve feel when expelled from the Garden of Eden?
A. They were really put out.

Q. What is one of the first things that Adam and Eve did after they were kicked out?
A. They really raised Cain.

Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden?
A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.

Q. The ark was built in 3 stories, and the top story had a window to let light in, but how did they get light to the bottom 2 stories?
A. They used floodlights.

Q. Who is the greatest baby-sitter mentioned in the Bible?
A. David: he rocked Goliath to sleep.

Q. Why was Goliath so surprised when David hit him with a slingshot?
A. The thought had never entered his head before.

Q. If Goliath is resurrected, would you like to tell him the joke about David and Goliath?
A. No, he already fell for it once.

Q. What is the best way to get to Paradise?
A. Turn right and go straight.

Q. Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy?
A. The area around the Jordan: the banks were always overflowing.

Q. Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible?
A. When Joseph served in Pharaoh’s court.

Q. Why didn’t Noah go fishing?
A. He only had two worms!

Q. How do we know that they played cards in the ark?
A. Because Noah sat on the deck [/li]
[/list]

Kweshun:

Name nine people who where saved from drowning by an ark?

OLAADEGBU:

Kweshun:

Name nine people who where saved from drowning by an ark?

How many children and infants were murdered by your loving friend in the flood myth?

Martian:

How many children and infants were murdered by your loving friend in the flood myth?

Ask those who missed the boat for the poll.

[img width=500 height=500]http://www.answersingenesis.org/assets/images/media/cartoons/after-eden/20001009.gif[/img]

OLAADEGBU:

Ask those who missed the boat for the poll.

[img width=500 height=500]http://www.answersingenesis.org/assets/images/media/cartoons/after-eden/20001009.gif[/img]

Lol, how many children and infants perished in the flood myth?  Would a benevolent god kill children? Do you really live in the UK? They have Darwin on their currency, you should complain about that. It should be jesus or nothing.

Did you say monkey brains before you edited it?  See those who believe they have monkey brains below, do they look familiar?

[img width=500 height=500]http://www.answersingenesis.org/assets/images/media/cartoons/ltbt/let-there-be-truth-v3-n2.jpg[/img]

OLAADEGBU:

Did you say monkey brains before you edited it?  See those who believe they have monkey brains below, do they look familiar?

[img width=500 height=500]http://www.answersingenesis.org/assets/images/media/cartoons/ltbt/let-there-be-truth-v3-n2.jpg[/img]

Yea, I edited it, because saying you have a monkey's brain is an insult to monkeys.

Theory of evolution sir. We share a common ancestor with other primates, there's empirical evidence of this, whether you  choose to believe it or not. If humans are so intelligently designed like you creationists like to claim, what's the use of an appendix? Now, go ahead and post another cartoon, freak.

Martian:

Yea, I edited it, because saying you have a monkey's brain is an insult to monkeys.

Theory of evolution sir. We share a common ancestor with other primates, there's empirical evidence of this, whether you  choose to believe it or not. If humans are so intelligently designed like you creationists like to claim, what's the use of an appendix? Now, go ahead and post another cartoon, freak.

Why not leave the monkey out of your blame game must you always make monkeys the scape goat for your animal instincts? It high time we started taking responsibilities for our stupidity and stop blaming it on monkeys.

Lets give the "scape goat" a break.

[img width=500 height=300]http://www.answersingenesis.org/assets/images/media/cartoons/creationwise/CWscapegoat.gif[/img]

You mean the way you Christians blame the other imaginary guy called the devil?

Martian:

You mean the way you Christians blame the other imaginary guy called the devil?

That's what we call playing the blame game:

"Adam blamed Eve, Eve blamed the snake and the snake didn't have a leg to stand on" 

OLAADEGBU:

That's what we call playing the blame game:

"Adam blamed Eve, Eve blamed the snake and the snake didn't have a leg to stand on" 

Lol, you're pathetic.

Martian:

Lol, you're pathetic.

Here's another one:

"The sin of the first man made the second man to kill the third man"

OLAADEGBU:

Here's another one:

"The sin of the first man made the second man to kill the third man" 

You should be neutered. I'll be the second man and you can definitely be the third. It would be like one of your loony stories. Abraham and Isaac, and abraham will complete the mission this time. Your god will be pleased.

Since you're a creationist fundie and believe that intelligent design by your sky daddy is real, do you see the intelligence involved in this little Indian boy's anatomy?

Ignorant people like yourself were already arguing about the boy being a devil or some god. Like the geniuses on this other thread who are convinced that a mentally disturbed woman is a witch and are just itching to stone her to death. They would probably try to do the same to the poor boy and claim it's a witch in some village that did it to him because his mother looked at the witch in a disrespectful way. Superstitious buffoons.  I wonder why they didn't go to a faith healer like mabell's and joagbaje's pastor chris. 

Science to the rescue!!!!!!!!