Oya, bia come start posting before you die.
First to commenza

OP if u no start this story, I go spit for ur destiny

Welcome ladies and Gentlemen as i take you on a journey of suffering,sorry i meant tragedy.This kind of trouble am in is the type wey i need friends the most but as luck will have it i have none,i know u must be saying for ya mind say"dis guy too dey lie."However let me assure you that even though am in my late twenties it's the wicked truth.The reason why i no get friends?.Let's just say it all started ever since i dey Junior secondary school.
I was the definition of typical young student,Skipping classes,skipping school,stealing,noise making,frustrating teachers,abi dis no be the normal stuff wey young students dey do oh and let's not forget my favourite i call it Peeping tinz and the meaning is not far fetched as it involves peeping at all sort of tinz,from the girls skirts to the teachers,na my sit dey for the front row(not so i could listen to the teachers lectures but for me to be getting the full action front and back.)besides the window(not for fresh air but let's just say the place no far from the usual go spot.).I no be the only one though,make i introduce you to ma goons.
Meet Pappy Jay:His real name na John buh na we baptize am Pappy Jay.You dey ask why?(sigh) anyways na him be the oldest for class he dey Jss2 and SS3 students go dey prostrate for am.
Meet Desmond Tutu:His real name na Samuel but we dey call am Desmond Tutu(PS:No relation with the real Desmond Tutu.)You dey ask why(Sigh)the guy gentle his gentleness makes him to dey act dull for class But in real life this guy na degree holder for peeping tinz.
And let's not forget my main man TJ:Chaii i twale for this guy his head they always work like clock this guy na the definition of no dulling.
Together we are the deadly four.Last to school,first to leave na our motto.What's more after i or one of my goons have succeeded at peeping tinz we go dey make our success known by screaming the colour of the panties or thight wey we see infront of the girl,afterall no be our faults na the girls wey no know how to sit and go just spread their legs anyhow and like TJ always says "a guy should always dey on point no dulling."For our class their is only one girl wey none of us have succeeded in doing peeping tinz for her.
Meet Claren:Chaii this girl na correct SU she made sure no guy ever had the chance to see wetin dey under the miniskirt she always sits with her legs crossed and she does her business very far away from prying eyes.She go dey tell other girls say dem be mumu say no one go see the colour of the (Coughs) she even dared me to my face say she's not like other girls she talk say the day i or any of my goons looks under her skirt na that day heaven go fall.
Let's just wait and see.I told myself.

Na early one monday morning.

"Nna the time is just 8:45 why we go dey enter school at such an early hour."That was Pappy Jay complaining.Did i also tell you that he's our class captain.He may be academically poor but he's physically sound the former class captain had no choice but to step down for pappy Jay.
"You have a point there why dont we go jungle go pluck some mengo."That one na my guy TJ.
"I like the idea but which one be mengo na?."Desmond Tutu asked.
"Ehn you know say one na mango then many go be mengo."
"Chaii TJ who taught you dat one?."I had to ask.
"You no know say your English teacher no sabi English pass me."
"TJ!!"We all hailed.
"Oya make we enter Jungle na."I added.
We quickly snuck into the farm behind our school,the farm is owned by an old man who rarely visits bushes don plenty for the place which makes it a perfect hideout for students wey sabi,that's why we dey call am jungle another benefit of the jungle na the huge mango tree wey dey there.
"Oya one of you should climb up."Pappy Jay said as we reached the mango tree.
"I no go climb am oh i no want break my back bone."DT quickly added.
"If your back bone break we go put am back na with super glue."TJ said and we all laughed.
"Alright i go climb am but na me go take the lion share."I added.
I started climbing the huge mango tree and ma guys were given me directions towards the ripe ones.I was plucking and dropping the mangos or mengo rather for them to catch.Then i look up and saw Mr Bruce lee.
No be the late Chinese actor 'Bruce lee' but our English teacher,he is very strict and tough that's how he got his nickname every now and then he usually hunts the Jungle to capture preys i mean students as soon as i saw him i come halla my pals i thought they were going to help me get down but them scatter as they all pick race leaving only me behind on top of a mango tree.They even took the mengo with them.I saw Mr Bruce Lee heading towards me.
Chaii i don die.

'Pray for me.'

Hello Mama Oledajee, Abeg Give Me Alomo Bitter And Mix Am With Lacasera But Don't Forget To Put 700mg Tramadol. To Concetrate On This Story No Fit Take Ordinary Eye.

aydebug:
Hello Mama Oledajee, Abeg Give Me Alomo Bitter And Mix Am With Lacasera But Don't Forget To Put 700mg Tramadol. To Concetrate On This Story No Fit Take Ordinary Eye.

Lol you never seen nothing oh just sit back and relax.

Hey U Come Here, Go And Give Lesky3 This 5Permanent Marker, 7pen, 5microsoft Word Setup, 2 Glo Sim With 10gb Data Each, Tel Him To Update That Story Naw.


Abi Lesky3 Need Baby Oku Ni, Just Kwantinue Sha.

Just when i thought my own don finish.The stupid idiot just unzipped his trouser revealing his toothpick dick.No be lie the thing small pass 2b pencil.He started pissing under the tree and as i dey watch am pee come dey catch me as well.You know the kind pee wey wen it catch you one go dey dance azonto.Now imagine that kind pee catching you while hiding ontop a mango tree.I was praying make Bruce finish his business and leave but he kept on pissing for like 5 minutes.How such a small dick can be producing so much urine was a mystery to me.E be like say he don catch thunderbolt.After some minutes he was through and he left,just when i thought i had seen enough for a day,i started hearing footsteps again,i was wondering who it could be.Maybe it was my guys i thought the impossible cause i know they will never come back for me in situations like this it's every man for himself.The person turned out to be Claren,wetin this girl dey find for bush na and before i could say 'Mike adenuga' she don pull down her skirt off her pants and started pissing then i realised this was her secret go spot,God don catch this girl today,girl wey say i no go see the colour of her undies,see as her black ass dey smile at me,i watched as she dress up and left.All this while i don forget say pee dey catch me,the pee was now too much for me to hold i saw a hole in the tree and i quickly inserted my John Thomas in it without thinking.I started peeing inside the hole then something grabbed my dick.I screamed and jumped off the tree.I landed on my feet and for a while i couldn't walk.So i just sat there,then Claren came running and saw me on the floor.
"What happened."
I looked at her and smiled,then i said.
"Colour black."

"Wetin be colour black? By the way what are you doing on the ground."She asked.
'Mumu I dey Bleep the ground."I said to myself.
It turned out Claren wasn't the only one that heard me scream as i heard Bruce Lee's voice.
"Who's there? If i catch you ehn."He was saying.
My leg which was formerly weak powered up as i pick race commot for the Jungle i ran towards my class.I looked back and i didn't see Claren i guessed Bruce Lee must have caught her.I was suprised to find her already sitted in class abi this girl na witch,witch or not i must make my achievement known,i started shouting.
"Claren colour black!Colour black."I was parading infront of her all through.She didn't take note at first but when her friends started asking her if i had seen her undies she got up and walked towards me.I had already settled with my pals as we were munching some mengo she came over to me accompanied by some of her friends they were six in number.
"The colour of my undies is not black so stop lying cause you didn't see anything."She said to me.
"I wasn't referring to your undies,i know the colour of your undies is colour yellow i was referring to the colour of your yansh which is colour black You be yellow face black ass."I said and my pals and i started laughing.
But before i could say 'Mike adenuga.'she gave me three dirty slaps and my head started playing Hakuna matata.

'Pray for me.'