How do I resume sex after years of abstaining?

Dear Bunmi,

My marriage broke up after nine years and I haven’t slept with any man since I got divorced three years ago. I’ve had offers of dates from men and I think this is the time to go on a proper date. My problem is that I’m frightened of having sex.
The thought of stripping naked in front of someone other than my ex terrifies me. Do you have any advise on how to get my sex life back?

Linda, by e-mail.





Source: http://www.vanguardngr.com/2017/02/resume-sex-years-abstaining/




So many people have this challenge, especially women.

What are your suggestions?

Here is the reply she got from Bunmi.

It could be useful to those going through same challenge.


Dear Linda,

The prospect of disrobing in front of a man terrifies you because you’re imagining yourself having to do it quickly – probably around date three (sex happening on the third date is one of the myths floating around out there along with all those other silly dating ‘rules’).

Dropping your clothes to the floor to someone you barely know would make you feel very uncomfortable.

Take your time and refu~e to be pressured into anything and when the time comes to strip, you might be shy mWYou won’t feel terrified. It’s obvious you’re not out for a fling but a relationship.

Once you find someone you like, you have all the time in the world to explore sex gently and take little steps.

You should have sex when you feel ready – when you know, trust and feel comfortable enough to sleep with the person without being judged. Also remember that, unless you’re planning to date a 20-year-old, your new man’s body isn’t going to be perfect either.

It seems to me your problem has nothing to do with what you look like, but with feeling naked emotionally. So if you’re still hurting, don’t push yourself until you’re well and truly ready.



Source: http://www.vanguardngr.com/2017/02/resume-sex-years-abstaining/

Please add your voices.

Your words could just be a healing balm to someone, this night.


https://www.nairaland.com/2913203/herbal-tea-secrete-fathers-used in curing PreMAture ExPULsion and E.D

Well, I will advise you to have the sex when you are emotionally ready to or maybe when you remarry.

The 1st step is to actually accept a date & the rest will follow as she gets more comfortable around the guy.

ToriBlue:
Well, I will advise you to have the sex when you are emotionally ready to or maybe when you remarry.

I feel you.

Can Oga Lalasticlala give an advice on this, or should i call tonyebarcanista?

Ur ex husband doesn't need to be emotionally ready to have sex with another sharp babe outside...



Dont dull

ZarZar:
The 1st step is to actually accept a date & the rest will follow as she gets more comfortable around the guy.

I go with this, too.

if she's not ready to have sex, she shouldn't because forcing herself to would make her feel horrible after it but when she's decided and willing to have it without being pressurised... she would be OK with it and the thought of being terrified won't even surface self

Lol....she better keeps it paused for now

Yorobastard:
Lol....she better keeps it paused for now

She has abstained for years...

Lolz

I think you should take ur time to find true love, other things will follow gradually becos if u venture into another relationship and gets sexually involved and ur disappointed along the line. It will lead to a serious emotional crisis u may not recover easily. So find love and alow the former wounds to heal first...

Flexherbal:
How do I resume sex after years of abstaining?

Dear Bunmi,

My marriage broke up after nine years and I haven’t slept with any man since I got divorced three years ago. I’ve had offers of dates from men and I think this is the time to go on a proper date. My problem is that I’m frightened of having sex.
The thought of stripping naked in front of someone other than my ex terrifies me. Do you have any advise on how to get my sex life back?

Linda, by e-mail.





Source: http://www.vanguardngr.com/2017/02/resume-sex-years-abstaining/




So many people have this challenge, especially women.

What are your suggestions?

ask mizk or laveda

IF YOU CANNOT HOLD YOURSELF,GET MARRIED AND SETTLED WITH REASONABLE MAN,AM A VIRGIN AS A MAN FOR 20YEARS! TRUST ME AM STILL COUNTING,I JUST DECIDED I CAN DO IT.AM IN MY LATE 30S GOD BLESS U

Yksoul:
IF YOU CANNOT HOLD YOURSELF,GET MARRIED AND SETTLED WITH REASONABLE MAN,AM A VIRGIN AS A MAN FOR 20YEARS! TRUST ME AM STILL COUNTING,I JUST DECIDED I CAN DO IT.AM IN MY LATE 30S GOD BLESS U

Hmmmmm !
Do we still have people like this!!

JUST SETTLE WITH SERIOUS MAN.GOD BLESS YOU SISTER

Yksoul:
JUST SETTLE WITH SERIOUS MAN.GOD BLESS YOU SISTER

Good.
How can she resume love making with the new good guy, that she will settle with?