How Do I Get Out Of My Present Dilemma? - Family (2)

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How Do I Get Out Of My Present Dilemma? - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Re: How Do I Get Out Of My Present Dilemma? by sisisioge: 2:21am On Feb 28, 2017

Your lordship sir...Take am easy. Babe isn't your child...She's your partner in this venture Biko treat her as such. By the way, I couldn't help visiting your previous thread while reading this. When a man becomes a serial thread opener on issues relating to his marriage and the stories aren't jiving...His wife who's suppose to smell funny begins to smell like a rose.

I apologise in advance Incase this offends you cool

4 Likes

Re: How Do I Get Out Of My Present Dilemma? by Berbierklaus(f): 3:51am On Feb 28, 2017

OP said feminist should not come to his thread,you people will not hear ba
Why will you tell a MAN,a superior being that he and his wife own HIS house, unto wetin She build am with him?

He is the man,he can command/instruct/direct is wife,and who or what is she not to obey,isn't she just another WOMAN out of the numerous ones out there?

OP vex,be angry,infact slap her,show her you are the MAN,what insolence,questioning your authority IN YOUR HOUSE

2 Likes

Re: How Do I Get Out Of My Present Dilemma? by Goldenboy007(m): 4:28am On Feb 28, 2017

nairalandbuzz:

Truthfully, I cover 95% of the home finances... She contributes but I really dont allow it because I like the idea when the man does everything... Economic power hasnt reduced and with just 2 kids...

Truthfully I have answered your questions...

Great , having eliminated that..then her attitude may be due to the fact that she is comparing you to other more successful guys friends so she thinks you are not worth to be the head of household. Nothing you can do about that than for you to grow some confidence in yourself.
It's the society we live in now...so my advice is - do something drastic to shock her back into reality. However be ready for 2 results..either she comes to her senses to change attitude or she calls your bluff and abandons the marriage and kids. And note..if you do nothing , her attitude will get worse. Another thing ...quit keeping malice ..or whatever you call it, it's not healthy.

Re: How Do I Get Out Of My Present Dilemma? by Nobody: 6:11am On Feb 28, 2017

Acidosis:

You're joking right?

Without compromise, no relationship can work. Did you read the part where OP said his wife instructed him to stay home with her, in spite his desire to go to church?

I'm not even married, but if I tell my woman to avoid entertaining a visitor in HER home, she would listen! There are things she will equally instruct me to do, against my desire.

Call it commando-style, call it authoritative instruction or directives, it doesn't matter as far as they both instruct each other.

You see, that's the word I don't like. . . 'Instruct'!

I am married and I've never 'instructed' my husband to do anything and vice versa. I beg and plead and cajole until he gives in because he wants to make me happy, not because I 'instructed' him.

The OP decided to stay with his wife when she asked, to please her. Not because she gave him an ultimatum. For him to expect that she's now bound to take ultimatums from him, for something he did out of his own volition, is what makes me say he's controlling.

I am all for making sacrifices and compromises, but not for something that's so irrelevant.

She's probably digging in her heels now because she's fed up with his many rules. And I don't blame her.

3 Likes

Re: How Do I Get Out Of My Present Dilemma? by cococandy(f): 6:51am On Feb 28, 2017

Wetin concern feminists for this matter?

OP face your front

1 Like

Re: How Do I Get Out Of My Present Dilemma? by Nobody: 7:17am On Feb 28, 2017

[quote author=nairalandbuzz post=54124978]

See I have tried in making her change but as said earlier, she takes the advice from outside as #1 priority. One of her single colleagues told her one time that "You better sit up else I will collect your husband from you".

How did you know this? Surely she didn't tell you that herself! Are you cheating on her?

Its not the communication that is the issue, but what she will make out of it. I see through her waiting for me to tell her her mistakes which she already knew before hand... Imagine going since.morning, coming back and noticing your.husband is angry, are you not supposed to trace your steps back? But if the seats were to be exchanged, she will say I don't understand her... I am not reading her.... I should have done this... Done that

Well you know your wife better, but from what you've posted here I'd still say communication is key. You assume she knows that she has offended you. You know what they say about assumption right? Even if you're one million percent sure she knows, sit her down and let her know where she has gone wrong. It's an opportunity to keep the two of you talking. Quarreling isn't the worst thing in marriage, ignoring each other and living like strangers is.

HOW do you communicate with her? The HOW is very important. There are different ways to skin a rabbit. If I wanted to let you know that you have a serious problem of halitosis (your mouth stinks), I could come up to you and tell you point blank and say, "uncle, your mouth dey smell o", or I could buy you toothpaste and tooth brush on your birthday... How do you speak with your wife. Have you considered maybe she's reacting to the manner in which you're addressing her. Even you may not know this because you're probably always angry whenever she offends you.
She is your wife bro, the woman you've sworn to love and protect all the days of your lives.

Well, I am thinking the best is to settle this and start living life as if she's not there so the end game that I so much fear won't catch up with me unexpectedly... It's time I pick up my double agent cloak and give her all she wants to hear while I keep my heart with all diligence and I expect her to do same because she is reading the posts. Painful but candid... We might be needing the break afterall

Like I said earlier, if you guys stop talking, you might as well just file for a divorce.

I realise that there are some naturally stubborn and annoying women out there who think that since they are marred now, they can do as they like and the husband be damned (remember we haven't heard her own side of the story, and I'm sure she's got plenty to say too).

If she is that kind of woman, then pack her belongings and go and drop her at her parents' house. Hopefully the parents are decent people. If they are, you can bet that it's a wife with a better attitude that will come back to your house.

Madam wifey, this one is for you in case you're reading this: I'm not basing this on what your husband posted, the accuracy and veracity of the posts can't be verified by anyone except yourself, but here's the thing. You're doing something wrong otherwise your husband won't come on Nairaland to put your marriage up on display.
If what he says is factually accurate, then you must be in the category of dumbass women who don't cherish what they have until it's gone.
Only a woman can destroy the marriage, even if the husband is a philandering fool who can't keep his pant zipped.

If some "friends" are telling you how to relate with your husband and they are goading you on, be very well assured that when your marriage packs up, they'll be sniggering at you behind you.

There's no honour in being a divorced woman.

You have two options, work hard at keeping the stability of your home, or watch as everything collapses around your ears. Your choice. A little humility wouldn't hurt you either. He is your husband after all.

Re: How Do I Get Out Of My Present Dilemma? by Nobody: 7:45am On Feb 28, 2017

nairalandbuzz:
Before I start my case, I advice all feminist to please scroll up, click on Nairaland and go to ...

In this part of the world, any woman with half a brain is branded a feminist. Maybe its the men who are insecure? undecided

5 Likes

Re: How Do I Get Out Of My Present Dilemma? by Mutaino7(m): 8:15am On Feb 28, 2017

Ujoan:

In this part of the world, any woman with half a brain is branded a feminist. Maybe its the men who are insecure?

Abegi ... you proffered no solution at all. After God your husband should be the next in line not your father or mother. He's your head and the wife is the neck. Nah this kind woman yahoo pastor will tell madam the lord say you should do forty days dry and she will comply but if her hubby should say the same nah buhari im don turn into. When i was a little bit younger. I do leave home without telling my parents my destination and this brought about serious tongue lashing and beating. My father said something. He said son do you notice i do inform your mom my whereabouts and ask her permission for some things. There was a day a hare was captured and it was first offered to my dad but my mom vehemently refused because she hated the animal.. she even said my father can't use her pot..Popsy wey like meat die had to let it go because he respected his wife. You missus has refuse to acknowledge that this woman is uncooperative, disobedient, careless and she is already showing tendency to have xtra marital affair. A Yoruba proverb says " the chick is being protected from dying but it's insisting it wanna go to dung hill to eat. I had an aunt like your said wife and presently her home has been taken over by another woman and she had to pack away to about 2hrs away from her former home. Nothing wey my Mama no tell her nah alakori she be. The husband nah Cocoa merchant and one time Rep. So hawks and vulture plenty wey surround her but the people that want her best interest she pushed away. Nah frenemies Fvck her up at last. If Buhari can tell Aisha not to comment on political matter then who his your spouse. Nah check and balance marriage be and if your spouse have reservation about some things you shouldn't repeat it. I know some men whose wife hate their smoking habits, so this men smoke away from house lick the lickables because Madam like they usually refer to their wives must not know. If your wife doesn't take to correction then history is bound to repeat it self.

1 Like

Re: How Do I Get Out Of My Present Dilemma? by Nobody: 8:23am On Feb 28, 2017

Mutaino7:
Abegi ... you proffered no solution at all. After God your husband should be the next in line not your father or mother. He's your head and the wife is the neck. Nah this kind woman yahoo pastor will tell madam the lord say you should do forty days dry and she will comply but if her hubby should say the same nah buhari im don turn into. When i was a little bit younger. I do leave home without telling my parents my destination and this brought about serious tongue lashing and beating. My father said something. He said son do you notice i do inform your mom my whereabouts and ask her permission for some things. There was a day a hare was captured and it was first offered to my dad but my mom vehemently refused because she hated the animal.. she even said my father can't use her pot..Popsy wey like meat die had to let it go because he respected his wife. You missus has refuse to acknowledge that this woman is uncooperative, disobedient, careless and she is already showing tendency to have xtra marital affair. A Yoruba proverb says " the chick is being protected from dying but it's insisting it wanna go to dung hill to eat. I had an aunt like your said wife and presently her home has been taken over by another woman and she had to pack away to about 2hrs away from her former home. Nothing wey my Mama no tell her nah alakori she be. The husband nah Cocoa merchant and one time Rep. So hawks and vulture plenty wey surround her but the people that want her best interest she pushed away. Nah frenemies Fvck her up at last. If Buhari can tell Aisha not to comment on political matter then who his your spouse. Nah check and balance marriage be and if your spouse have reservation about some things you shouldn't repeat it. I know some men whose wife hate their smoking habits, so this men smoke away from house lick the lickables because Madam like they usually refer to their wives must not know. If your wife doesn't take to correction then history is bound to repeat it self.

1 Like

Re: How Do I Get Out Of My Present Dilemma? by Richy4(m): 8:23am On Feb 28, 2017

Ujoan:

I believe the lady is an adult and capable of making the right decisions for herself and her home. Did he give any reasons here why she shouldn't have friends over? Apart from the fact that he's just doesn't like the idea. It's her home too and she reserves the right to invite her guests whenever she likes, without having someone telling her not to.

Most people are not comfortable with what their spouses do, but they don't martial out rules and regulations, they present their case in a meaningful way and hope the other party reasons with them. The way I see it, I can go wherever I like, whenever I like, as far as it doesn't endanger my life and that of my family. If my spouse, for some reason thinks I shouldn't, then I need a good reason, thought out objectively. Not an order to cease and desist! And even then, I reserve the right to make my own choice, because I'm an ADULT who is not in PRISON!

Or do you think a lady should 'sacrific' her friends to Please husband? Is that what you would call 'compromise'? The real question here is, why does she have to? I understand i have to make sacrifices but not for something as harmless as this. It just isn't worth the attention the OP is demanding for it. This just shows he could be a bit controlling.

Also, if he sleeps with any of her friends because she invited them for a visit, then that's on him not her. I can't imagine telling my friends (single or married) not to come visiting because my husband 'banned' it. It's so degrading and belittling!

Marriage is a partnership and if truly your spouse is your partner, you'd find the idea that you have to give her 'directives' a bit odd.

I can't possibly believe this...I mean I can't imagine that a lady will be supporting that other women can come pass the night at her place times without number at her matrimonial home just like that...Please I can understand if you were hunting for likes on this thread but we are talking about something serious here....Who was the person you referred to as the someone telling her not to? the husband? Hmmm!!!!!

I read through your other post here on this particular thread and you mentioned that you were married...I wish I could see your husband..."There must be a rare gem tattooed on his face"...But please the fact that your husband might support other ladies passing the night at your matrimonial home does not mean others can support that..It is just common sense, a silent and unwritten code for most ladies....if u like ask them... And doing that can endanger the family as you mentioned..If you can go any where you like as a married woman and the man can go any where he likes as a married man, I am just wondering what will become of the so called marriage?

8 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Do I Get Out Of My Present Dilemma? by mctowel01: 9:13am On Feb 28, 2017

nairalandbuzz:

Nope she does not... She also does Fashion Designer apart from the major production we are into... You know how they see and live styles that others have and someone gave her hers saying she has not worn it and would like her to have it... and I said No

Just to ask, What is your reason for refusing her from wearing the dress?

1 Like

Re: How Do I Get Out Of My Present Dilemma? by nairalandbuzz(m): 9:17am On Feb 28, 2017

sisisioge:
Your lordship sir...Take am easy. Babe isn't your child...She's your partner in this venture Biko treat her as such. By the way, I couldn't help visiting your previous thread while reading this. When a man becomes a serial thread opener on issues relating to his marriage and the stories aren't jiving...His wife who's suppose to smell funny begins to smell like a rose.

I apologise in advance Incase this offends you

Are you sure? My previous threads? Marital issues? Madam, this is the first time I would be bringing marital issues on Nairaland to my understanding...

Biko, confirm things before tapping/clicking on Submit na

1 Like

Re: How Do I Get Out Of My Present Dilemma? by sisisioge: 9:31am On Feb 28, 2017

nairalandbuzz:

Are you sure? My previous threads? Marital issues? Madam, this is the first time I would be bringing marital issues on Nairaland to my understanding...

Biko, confirm things before tapping/clicking on Submit na

Oh shooot! You are gonna have to forgive me dude... Someone whose sobriquet bears close semblance to yours had his story here a few days ago. Story was about how wifey was cheating with a Hausa dude. Guy eventually deleted parts of his accounts of the story. No vex biko.

May God help you and yours embarassed

Re: How Do I Get Out Of My Present Dilemma? by nairalandbuzz(m): 9:38am On Feb 28, 2017

To Ujoan, I have nothing to say.

And to Others like Mutiano7, Richy4, Ioannes, Goldenboy007, Berbierklaus, Acidosis, ToriBlue, 1miccza, kimbra, sexymoma, NotOfThis, Dyt, LynnPetra and freecocoa I really appreciate your input on this case... Well... I really thank you guys for the heartfelt responses as the issue has been resolved now... All of you have been saying many things but I have been trying to shy away from the word communicate anytime I see it in your posts...

I have a kinda mind that rests not till something is calmed and it was really working all through yesterday to the extent of thinking about so many things I would not like to say here. Last weekend, I read a book "Husband and Fathers" written by Derek Prince and there, he mentioned the great problem some people has got, which is initiation. To initiate one thing or the other, which is a cadre I think I belong. And while my mind was not at rest yesterday, I picked up my Kindle to read another book "The Three Most Powerful Words"by same Derek Prince and on getting to the very first chapter, it states :"The Blessedness of Forgiveness: Forgiveness is one of the most beautiful words in any language. What makes this such a special and beautiful word? Well, consider some of the consequences that flow from forgiveness: reconciliation, peace, harmony, understanding and fellowship". When I got to that part, I stopped, remembered the communication part in your posts that I have been looking over, looked at my wife (because I coudnt sleep since 11:45pm till now even after using Lexotan 1.5mb) and I said to myself it seems this is what will lighten my mind... Forgiveness...

I called her from bed (this is around 2:25am)... made her understand what the issue was and was still trying hard to call her to forgiveness till I ask her to lie on me... hugged for a long time and from no where, my mind that was so heavy became light as wool... that shows how much I love her...

We resolved the issue and all is well now. Thank you reliable Nairalanders.

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Do I Get Out Of My Present Dilemma? by nairalandbuzz(m): 9:39am On Feb 28, 2017

mctowel01:

Just to ask, What is your reason for refusing her from wearing the dress?

I can afford to get her her own... would not want a situation she would be reminding her she gave her the dress anytime she wears it.

Re: How Do I Get Out Of My Present Dilemma? by Timbuktuo: 9:42am On Feb 28, 2017

mctowel01: Just to ask, What is your reason for refusing her from wearing the dress?

Is that how you go about borrowing clothes all about the neighbourhood? No self respect?

Re: How Do I Get Out Of My Present Dilemma? by Timbuktuo: 10:04am On Feb 28, 2017

ToriBlue:
Stop giving her silent treatment, if you give me silent treatment when we have a problem, I will act like your wife is acting. Communication is essential in marriage, if you have a problem with her, you talk it out instead of piling it up in your mind.

So, to perfectly understand you, if your husband gave you the silent treatment you would:

1. Bring your friends to sleep over in your matrimonial home even though he has been calm about it the first time you did it? So, you would go ahead and do it again even though you know your husband doesn't want it?

2. Borrow dresses and wear them been though you a normal human being should know not to and even after your husband has promised to get you one just like that?

3. Threaten to get yourself a boyfriend?

4. Abandon your kids for the entire day without telling where you're going?

grin

Ps: Nigerian women are becoming more useless as the days go by.

1 Like

Re: How Do I Get Out Of My Present Dilemma? by Timbuktuo: 10:07am On Feb 28, 2017

Ujoan:
I just can't handle a man with so many rules.

She's your wife for God's sakes, not your 12 YO daughter.

You need to stop smoking that skunk. You sound like you're responding to a different thread.

3 Likes

Re: How Do I Get Out Of My Present Dilemma? by Richy4(m): 10:11am On Feb 28, 2017

nairalandbuzz:
To Ujoan, I have nothing to say.

And to Others like Mutiano7, Richy4, Ioannes, Goldenboy007, Berbierklaus, Acidosis, ToriBlue, 1miccza, kimbra, sexymoma, NotOfThis, Dyt, LynnPetra and freecocoa I really appreciate your input on this case... Well... I really thank you guys for the heartfelt responses as the issue has been resolved now... All of you have been saying many things but I have been trying to shy away from the word communicate anytime I see it in your posts...

I called her from bed (this is around 2:25am)... made her understand what the issue was and was still trying hard to call her to forgiveness till I ask her to lie on me... hugged for a long time and from no where, my mind that was so heavy became light as wool... that shows how much I love her...

We resolved the issue and all is well now. Thank you reliable Nairalanders.

Oh!! That was so sweet....But Next time you wanna go MUSHY and SAPPY on Nairaland, please give Brothers some headsup ..I almost puked up on my laptop ....I am glad you have resolved your differences man..

Re: How Do I Get Out Of My Present Dilemma? by SirVintageCock: 10:34am On Feb 28, 2017

The sole reason why I don't waste my time writing epistles all in the name of advice.

Op, you creates problems in your home, you jump to nairaland for advice. And then.......kaboom you use our individual posts as an aphrodisiac to have rounds of mind-blowing reconciliation sex you will never had ordinarily.

Buncha m'fuckers.

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Do I Get Out Of My Present Dilemma? by NoToPile: 11:18am On Feb 28, 2017

nairalandbuzz:
To Uj" When I got to that part, I stopped, remembered the communication part in your posts that I have been looking over, looked at my wife (because I coudnt sleep since 11:45pm till now even after using Lexotan 1.5mb) and I said to myself it seems this is what will lighten my mind... Forgiveness...

I called her from bed (this is around 2:25am)... made her understand what the issue was and was still trying hard to call her to forgiveness till I ask her to lie on me... hugged for a long time and from no where, my mind that was so heavy became light as wool... that shows how much I love her...

We resolved the issue and all is well now. Thank you reliable Nairalanders.

Oga lexotan is a prescription drug oo. You already know the solution to the sleeplessness you had and you took a prescription medicine ahn ahn.

Well the 2nd paragraph made me laugh so hard if only everyone can just keep their ego aside once in a while we won't have much broken marriages oo.

Re: How Do I Get Out Of My Present Dilemma? by Nobody: 11:34am On Feb 28, 2017

Timbuktuo:

You need to stop smoking that skunk. You sound like you're responding to a different thread.

I didn't expect you to comprehend anyways!

1 Like

Re: How Do I Get Out Of My Present Dilemma? by Timbuktuo: 11:55am On Feb 28, 2017

Ujoan:

I didn't expect you to comprehend anyways!

Thanks for the vote of confidence. I tend to not under büllshit.

Re: How Do I Get Out Of My Present Dilemma? by Berbierklaus(f): 12:03pm On Feb 28, 2017

SirVintageCock:
The sole reason why I don't waste my time writing epistles all in the name of advice.

Op, you creates problems in your home, you jump to nairaland for advice. And then.......kaboom you use our individual posts as an aphrodisiac to have rounds of mind-blowing reconciliation sex you will never had ordinarily.

Buncha m'fuckers.

So you don't want them to sort out their issues?
He needed some advice just to ease his mind,he got it and used the one that suits him,what's bad there?

Re: How Do I Get Out Of My Present Dilemma? by mctowel01: 12:07pm On Feb 28, 2017

Timbuktuo:

Is that how you go about borrowing clothes all about the neighbourhood? No self respect?

Bro, I.m not saying that. I am only trying to understand his reason for telling her that. Besides, it didn't seem like she does it very often from his write up.

1 Like

Re: How Do I Get Out Of My Present Dilemma? by mctowel01: 12:07pm On Feb 28, 2017

nairalandbuzz:

I can afford to get her her own... would not want a situation she would be reminding her she gave her the dress anytime she wears it.

I understand

Re: How Do I Get Out Of My Present Dilemma? by Nobody: 12:12pm On Feb 28, 2017

nairalandbuzz:
To Ujoan, I have nothing to say.

And to Others like Mutiano7, Richy4, Ioannes, Goldenboy007, Berbierklaus, Acidosis, ToriBlue, 1miccza, kimbra, sexymoma, NotOfThis, Dyt, LynnPetra and freecocoa I really appreciate your input on this case... Well... I really thank you guys for the heartfelt responses as the issue has been resolved now... All of you have been saying many things but I have been trying to shy away from the word communicate anytime I see it in your posts...

I have a kinda mind that rests not till something is calmed and it was really working all through yesterday to the extent of thinking about so many things I would not like to say here. Last weekend, I read a book "Husband and Fathers" written by Derek Prince and there, he mentioned the great problem some people has got, which is initiation. To initiate one thing or the other, which is a cadre I think I belong. And while my mind was not at rest yesterday, I picked up my Kindle to read another book "The Three Most Powerful Words"by same Derek Prince and on getting to the very first chapter, it states :"The Blessedness of Forgiveness: Forgiveness is one of the most beautiful words in any language. What makes this such a special and beautiful word? Well, consider some of the consequences that flow from forgiveness: reconciliation, peace, harmony, understanding and fellowship". When I got to that part, I stopped, remembered the communication part in your posts that I have been looking over, looked at my wife (because I coudnt sleep since 11:45pm till now even after using Lexotan 1.5mb) and I said to myself it seems this is what will lighten my mind... Forgiveness...

I called her from bed (this is around 2:25am)... made her understand what the issue was and was still trying hard to call her to forgiveness till I ask her to lie on me... hugged for a long time and from no where, my mind that was so heavy became light as wool... that shows how much I love her...

We resolved the issue and all is well now. Thank you reliable Nairalanders.

Hope you guys had great sex after that cheesy

1 Like

Re: How Do I Get Out Of My Present Dilemma? by Timbuktuo: 12:12pm On Feb 28, 2017

mctowel01:

Bro, I.m not saying that. I am only trying to understand his reason for telling her that. Besides, it didn't seem like she does it very often from his write up.

The only acceptable reason for borrowing clothes is nakédness. OP's wife doesn't seem nakéd.

Re: How Do I Get Out Of My Present Dilemma? by crackhaus: 12:52pm On Feb 28, 2017

Ujoan:

I believe the lady is an adult and capable of making the right decisions for herself and her home. Did he give any reasons here why she shouldn't have friends over? Apart from the fact that he's just doesn't like the idea. It's her home too and she reserves the right to invite her guests whenever she likes, without having someone telling her not to.

Most people are not comfortable with what their spouses do, but they don't martial out rules and regulations, they present their case in a meaningful way and hope the other party reasons with them. The way I see it, I can go wherever I like, whenever I like, as far as it doesn't endanger my life and that of my family. If my spouse, for some reason thinks I shouldn't, then I need a good reason, thought out objectively. Not an order to cease and desist! And even then, I reserve the right to make my own choice, because I'm an ADULT who is not in PRISON!

Or do you think a lady should 'sacrific' her friends to Please husband? Is that what you would call 'compromise'? The real question here is, why does she have to? I understand i have to make sacrifices but not for something as harmless as this. It just isn't worth the attention the OP is demanding for it. This just shows he could be a bit controlling.

Also, if he sleeps with any of her friends because she invited them for a visit, then that's on him not her. I can't imagine telling my friends (single or married) not to come visiting because my husband 'banned' it. It's so degrading and belittling!

Marriage is a partnership and if truly your spouse is your partner, you'd find the idea that you have to give her 'directives' a bit odd.

I keep telling you something is wrong with you, and you think I just feel like trolling. cheesy

3 Likes

Re: How Do I Get Out Of My Present Dilemma? by SirVintageCock: 1:17pm On Feb 28, 2017

Berbierklaus:

So you don't want them to sort out their issues?
He needed some advice just to ease his mind,he got it and used the one that suits him,what's bad there?

Nothing. Telling me he woke her up and had makeup sex makes me want to plow his eye angry

while I was here cuddling my goddamn pillow.

1 Like

Re: How Do I Get Out Of My Present Dilemma? by Nobody: 1:18pm On Feb 28, 2017

nairalandbuzz:
To Ujoan, I have nothing to say.

And to Others like Mutia.no7, Rich.y4, Ioan.nes, Goldenb.oy007, Berbie.rklaus, Acid.osis, ToriB.lue, 1mic.cza, kimbra, sexymoma, NotOfThis, D.yt, LynnP.etra and freec.ocoa I really appreciate your input on this case... Well... I really thank you guys for the heartfelt responses as the issue has been resolved now... All of you have been saying many things but I have been trying to shy away from the word communicate anytime I see it in your posts...

I have a kinda mind that rests not till something is calmed and it was really working all through yesterday to the extent of thinking about so many things I would not like to say here. Last weekend, I read a book "Husband and Fathers" written by Derek Prince and there, he mentioned the great problem some people has got, which is initiation. To initiate one thing or the other, which is a cadre I think I belong. And while my mind was not at rest yesterday, I picked up my Kindle to read another book "The Three Most Powerful Words"by same Derek Prince and on getting to the very first chapter, it states :"The Blessedness of Forgiveness: Forgiveness is one of the most beautiful words in any language. What makes this such a special and beautiful word? Well, consider some of the consequences that flow from forgiveness: reconciliation, peace, harmony, understanding and fellowship". When I got to that part, I stopped, remembered the communication part in your posts that I have been looking over, looked at my wife (because I coudnt sleep since 11:45pm till now even after using Lexotan 1.5mb) and I said to myself it seems this is what will lighten my mind... Forgiveness...

I called her from bed (this is around 2:25am)... made her understand what the issue was and was still trying hard to call her to forgiveness till I ask her to lie on me... hugged for a long time and from no where, my mind that was so heavy became light as wool... that shows how much I love her...

We resolved the issue and all is well now. Thank you reliable Nairalanders.

Buy the book " Things I wish I'd known Before We Got Married" by Gary Chapman.

God bless your union!.

1 Like

Re: How Do I Get Out Of My Present Dilemma? by freshbear(m): 1:45pm On Feb 28, 2017

Ujoan:

I believe the lady is an adult and capable of making the right decisions for herself and her home. Did he give any reasons here why she shouldn't have friends over? Apart from the fact that he's just doesn't like the idea. It's her home too and she reserves the right to invite her guests whenever she likes, without having someone telling her not to.

Most people are not comfortable with what their spouses do, but they don't martial out rules and regulations, they present their case in a meaningful way and hope the other party reasons with them. The way I see it, I can go wherever I like, whenever I like, as far as it doesn't endanger my life and that of my family. If my spouse, for some reason thinks I shouldn't, then I need a good reason, thought out objectively. Not an order to cease and desist! And even then, I reserve the right to make my own choice, because I'm an ADULT who is not in PRISON!

Or do you think a lady should 'sacrific' her friends to Please husband? Is that what you would call 'compromise'? The real question here is, why does she have to? I understand i have to make sacrifices but not for something as harmless as this. It just isn't worth the attention the OP is demanding for it. This just shows he could be a bit controlling.

Also, if he sleeps with any of her friends because she invited them for a visit, then that's on him not her. I can't imagine telling my friends (single or married) not to come visiting because my husband 'banned' it. It's so degrading and belittling!

Marriage is a partnership and if truly your spouse is your partner, you'd find the idea that you have to give her 'directives' a bit odd.

the op specifically said be doesn't want any FEMINIST on his thread so move along with your wahala.op,pls ignore her.woman like this cannot be any man's peace.As for your Wifey,grow some balls n show leadership.

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