thanks so much lagosboy,but the problem is that am the only muslim in my extended family but av got coursins that are muslims due to my aunt married to an Alhaji but she remain a christian,but her siblings are muslims except the lady amongs them that prefares the left side,that my male cousin sef has got stupid feelings for me,except i just use an IMAM

they can marry us becos of our money(greed) but cant practice our religion

@uplawal
I've been MIA for a couple of days. Now I hear that u are getting married. That's awesome! May God keep us beyond that day. Pls extend the IV, u never know, I may be able to sneek out of here to attend. Yes, the aqd nikkah validates the marriage in islam and if u so desire, u can round it up with the walimatul nikkah. May God bless both of you with many good children.

@Ayinba
It seems that matchmaking is ur hobby, ok now, your assignment is with our dear bros Jarus. May God guide u through it. I'm not joking o. While u are at it, don't forget my Lagosboy o.

@Lagosboy and all
E ku ojo meta o. Ki Olorun gba adura wa. (Amin)

@Ayinba . . . .

I am looking for a wife . . . how about you hook me up with a beautiful, brilliant, faithful, comitted Hajia . . .

It seems my problem is much more complicated than i thought, thats why response is not coming from my BRETHEM soon enough.

The likes of Sir Olabowale comment is welcome and those who have considerable years of experience.

SALAM

uplawal:

thanks so much lagosboy,but the problem is that am the only muslim in my extended family but av got coursins that are muslims due to my aunt married to an Alhaji but she remain a christian,but her siblings are muslims except the lady amongs them that prefares the left side,that my male cousin sef has got silly feelings for me,except i just use an IMAM

they can marry us becos of our money(greed) but cant practice our religion

Oh Sis,

I am speechless; can't say "anything".

May Allah, the Exalted, guide them to the right path. I really admire your courage and passionate feeling towards Islam. InshaAllah you'll be rewarded here and hereafter. InshaAllah you'll never regret your decision. May Allah shower you with all His blessings and give you all heart to endure "obstacles" in this life. Wish you all the best.

Amin for my sister oooo and 4 me too

@MUHSIN,thanks alot dear, u really feel for my family init?atimes i just sit down and cry that why not all of us,why should the favour of ALLAH be on me only?i keep wondering everyday, i just hope someday they will realise,and their eyes will be wide open to see reality of serving GOD and never turn back again insha Allah,and the painfull part is that am so far away from them now, i cant even discuss about ISLAM to them.



MY LOVE FOR ISLAM will continue to grow from strength to strenght insha Allah

@Alimat, ese gannio, ire akario, amin

Still want more advise to make a decisive decision on what to do next.

Jazakallahu Khairan as you admonish me.

May Allaah continue to guide us. I don't know how exactly you've been approaching the matter with your HOD but I think you still have to sit her down for a 'heart-to-heart' discussion. You need to try to let her know how you feel; not only about the fact that you're feeling overworked and cheated but also about the possible adverse effects her attitude may have on the overall work output and quality.
Sometimes ppl, esp. superiors, don't like to be challenge about what they're not doing properly. They usually see it as an infringement on their authority. Even when they know they didn't assign responsibility with justice, they may remind you, if you complained, of the common clause in most appointment letters e.g. that you've been employed to do a,b,c and , any  other work given to you by your HOD/manager,etc,etc. In other to have a fruitful discussion(insha Allaah) with her, you may need to start with a preamble of the good sides you know of her and pray that Allaah give her the wisdom to continue with such a good thing. After her saying 'amin', bring in the matter while the prayer mood is still on. Mind you, this isn't as if you are begging her. You're only trying to employ diplomacy to achieve a just aim. Let her also be aware(or remind her) of the implications of sayings of the person in question that you ppl are monopolizing the work and turning the work to a Muslim thing.
Being a person that has been wronged, I think you are in possession of a weapon. Which weapon? The weapon of having your prayers answered.  In a hadeeth the Prophet said,: “Fear the prayer of the one who has been wronged, for there is no barrier between it and Allaah.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 469; Muslim, 19. And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The prayer of the one who has been wronged will be answered, even if he is an evildoer, for his evildoing is only against himself.” Narrated by Ahmad. See Saheeh al-Jaami’, 3382.  Pray, not against anybody, but to have things set right. As you await the time things will be in order, I appeal to you to approach every matter with patience and avoid allowing anybody to make you act in a way that will make ppl misunderstand your position. U know well that a good case wrongly handled may turn otherwise. If the work is tiring you out at the moment, I'll like you to take recourse to the prayer Allaah's Messenger(SAW) gave Fatima when she complained

@iwaboy

Thank you very much, May Allah continue to guide us amin.

I was heavily depressed , feeling sad and angry. I got up to pray nawafil but couldnt even say my dua when I concluded. I went through the thread I opened and saw the last advice. Went back to the prayer area and said my dua and when I came back, I saw this thread, which Ihave opened before but never bothered to go through and Alhamdulillah as I was going through, I felt like my burden has been lifted.

I've been going through alot for the past 3 yrs.I pray, I fast, and I've tried really hard to improve on my religious practice hoping for Allah to come to my aid. Well, things are getting worse by the moment and I have started giving up on life.

Please put me in your duas.Please pray for me. I desperately need it. I have a huge problem saying what's on my mind and I hope that as time goes on I'll be able to share my problem but there's really not much advice can do for me. What I need is your prayers. I'm praying for all of you.

heya,sorry sister,May the good Lord help you

Salam, Nanai

May Allah come to your rescue. InshaAllah we won't forget you in our du'as.

Salam Nanai,

Always keep in mind that nothing is too big for Allah to handle, all He need do is say 'be' and it is and He is aware of all things and has power over all. Ma Salam

Nanai
Nothing is greater than the Almighty Allah - the 'kun fa ya kun'. Don't give up, for He has not forgotten you!
When your heart feels heavy, and you can't even say your dua after your nafl, don't wory, Allah already know what your dua is about. Just do a lot of Istigfar, allahumo soli ala sayidina Mohammed, and Lailah ilah llah, round it up with hasbunallah wanimal wakeel. May Allah answer all our prayers.

After every difficulty, there is certainly ease. This is the word of Allah, and it is indubitably inimitable and immutable.

Thank You all for the advice, support, and dua. May Allah answer our duas.Ameen.

@nanai

For the response of Brethem u r surely remembered.May Allah Continue to guide u amin.


@Brothers and sisters

I have an issue which requires an urgent response, its goes like this what would u do if ur Senior Colleague in the Office who happens to be a Christian; his wife lost her Dad and they are having a big party for the burial.My concern is the party of a thing cos i believe u r not even allowed to attend a christian burial (Please if am wrong correct me).He brought the clothes for the burial party to the office for people to buy and av being keeping mum for awhile if i should buy the clothes or not cos presently am the only one who av not shown any interest.

What would u do if u r in my shoes or whats the Islamical position on this.Please i need ur contribution my brethem.Jazakallahu Khairan

I think you shoud not attend any burial or the party,and dnt think u should buy the cloth as well cos its meant for the burial,say your mind to them either diplomatic or frankly.

@justFash50: I made some research and there's really nothing convincing on the internet but you can go through this: http://www.islamonline.net/LiveFatwa/English/Browse.asp?hGuestID=5GD6Nj It may help.

I also think that Islam is a religion of peace and every muslim has a duty to attract none muslims to the religion and this can be done in part by showing compassion. But I'll let the learned answer your question.

@nanai

Thanks for the links provided above, i have search islamqa.com for answers but av not seen something similar.

@To all

I am not going to buy the clothes but would attend the burial after they must have buried the person and just stay for a little while.

Please if there is any contrary opinion or fact from Hadiths i would love to know.Jazakallahu khairan

Burial is strictly haram, Allah said, in the Glorious Quran 9:84 'never attend the funeral of an unbeliever'.

Why not just pay a visit at the house of the deceased and express ur condolence. I think this will be better.

It is allowed to visit the family of deceased non Muslims, however, you should not attend wake keeping and other non Islamic worshiping sessions particularly inside the church. Most Xtians understand and do not have problem with that. They do not pray janaza with us either.
Non Muslims are our neighbors and we supposed to be in good relationship with our neighbors while maintaining the "Lakum dinu kum wali ya deen" rules.
It is on record that there were non Muslims in Medina during the time of Rasullah, there was even a day Muhammad ordered Muslims to vacate the mosque for Jews to prepare one of their dead for burial. Allahu alam.

"Lakum dinu kum wali ya deen" means "Practice your believe and let me practice mine", Rasullulah means "Messanger of Allah, another name we Muslims call Prophet Mohammad (pboh) and Allahu alam mean "God knows best".

Politicians can attend anything it means nothing to them. you would see them attending Egungun and the rest too so they are not to be used as yardstick they are just "politiking", lol. Oyinlola and other non Muslim politicians of Osun State Nigeria prayed wih Muslims during the last Eld kabir, for what reason other than "political show off", I dont know.
It may be a matter of choice but for a Muslim dancing and clapping hands at another place instead of being in the mosque during daily Salat times get as e be.

Thanks Brother Abuzola and remii for the insightful quotes.


Well like av written above i would not buy the clothes, attend the funeral but will only stay for a while at the party to greet them.

@Nanai

Please put me in your duas.Please pray for me. I desperately need it. I have a huge problem saying what's on my mind and I hope that as time goes on I'll be able to share my problem but there's really not much advice can do for me. What I need is your prayers. I'm praying for all of you.

Sorry for this late reply; I've been away for sometime. I pray, as all bros and sis have been praying that Allaah help you solve the problem. Beside prayer, I feel advice too may help. Great relief can come to a person afflicted with difficulties if he can try to talk it out. Unburdening one’s heart with loyal and sincere Muslim friends is one of the means of obtaining relief from grief and mental tension. Persons in a state of grief must be given the opportunity to relieve their inward tensions by talking about their hardships to conscious Muslim friends in order to get useful advice.
By the time one starts to talk it out to the close friend, he may begin to calm down. At the end of the talk, the person may feel relieved. Has the problem been solved? No, not yet. What can cause the actual relief is getting a little advice and a little human feeling and sympathy. Moreover, when we talk it out, we gain a little better insight into our troubles, and get a perspective. No one knows the whole answer. But all of us know that “spitting it out” or “getting it off our chest” brings almost instant relief.
Thus, if you are unhappy and distressed by your conduct and condition, confide your difficulty to someone that you rely upon and who is a Muslim. Keeping a painful thought, fear, or anxiety to oneself only makes it more persistent and bothersome. Express your secret thought and seek advice from a wise and experienced Muslim. Fear and bad thoughts dwindle and disappear on confronting people. Troublesome thoughts that are consigned to the unconscious will always remain an impediment between us and our mental peace and happiness. Again, may Allaah answer your prayer.

amin

@aun fayezik, thanks alot sister,i will definately let u know when is time

Jarus why do u hav to delete my posts? Manmustwack& A.K.O doesnt do that to muslims when they come to d other side to do same.I believe u just want to test ur power samething u did last year to one of emekas post.Bravo keep it up

Thanks iwaboy but I assure you that when you have a problem with family, you can only pray. Please pray for me. I'm becoming heavily depressed.

Nanai:

Thanks iwaboy but I assure you that when you have a problem with family, you can only pray. Please pray for me. I'm becoming heavily depressed.

Sister please recite surah duha and sharh "Alam nashrahalak sadrak . . . . ." after every salah of yours. They are surahs that was revealed to the Prophet when he was sad, it helps depression and a look at the meaning of the verses will reflect it. May your burden be lightened. Also why not state your problem here , in case you could get good advice from people, i presume you are already anonymous or you could even be more anonymous by sending a message to jarusnairaland@yahoo.com. Its better to get quality advice plus dua as good fruitful advice could be a result of the dua.

Lagosboy:

Sister please recite surah duha and sharh "Alam nashrahalak sadrak . . . . ." after every salah of yours. They are surahs that was revealed to the Prophet when he was sad, it helps depression and a look at the meaning of the verses will reflect it. May your burden be lightened. Also why not state your problem here , in case you could get good advice from people, i presume you are already anonymous or you could even be more anonymous by sending a message to jarusnairaland@yahoo.com. Its better to get quality advice plus dua as good fruitful advice could be a result of the dua.

True, Surah Duha sure does suites the troubled mind. Telling your worries also helps, so far it is to the right person(s).
Salam alaykum waramatulah wa barakatuhu to you sis.