Hello nairalanders. just to seek your opinion on this issue that has been bothering me for weeks now. I used to date this girl and we grew apart after I got admission in to the university, we never broke up but we just stopped dating. but before we stopped dating I once asked her if there is a chancenof us getting married and her response was always not encouraging; always giving me excuses like we are of the same age and it might not work our and so on. she is presently serving in zamfara and I am serving in Niger and we have been communicating a lot lately.
it happened that we were charting some days back and I she asked me what my plans were after service to which I replied; I have scattered plans, the next thing she asked was if I had her in my plans and I was like what do u mean to which she replied I should forget about it.
After some days I asked her about it again and she wasn't forth coming then I asked her if she was still in love with me and she said she never stopped loving me.
Now the issue is I am not ready for marriage, we r age mates and we r both close to 30, she's some one I still like so much cos we connect very well and the chemistry between us is great. My fear is that if we should get back together she might want to pressure me into marriage, I see her as someone with great potential and of good character.
pls I need ur candid advice on this. Thanks

She abadoned u thinkin u will not make it which u still never make am bt u go make am


age is knocking for her, bros bullshit her n find a young intelligent and vibrant girl

i know u may not take our advices from here

bye

So you are close to 30 and you still can't make a concrete decision on your own as regards to this issue.. bro

enesty77:
So you are close to 30 and you still can't make a concrete decision on your own as regards to this issue.. bro

its sounds like all ur life u've never asked someone for advice and u know everything. sorry Mr know all!!!

na wa , tried of reading long stories

usman3688:

its sounds like all ur life u've never asked someone for advice and u know everything. sorry Mr know all!!!

Don't take it personal bro. All am saying is, you are the only person who can make the best decision for your life at that stage of yours. #peace

people! It's '' CHAT ,CHATTING" not ''CHART, CHARTING"

women are the greatest scam ever created

After she don flex with dem fvckboys finish she come remember you abi..

Kindly sister zone her

usman3688

From all you're saying, it's obvious she has a particular deadline to being single, and she sees being married as the next thing to achieve (some ladies are wired that way...if not parental or peer pressure).

So, her questioning your plan for your life was to know when you would be ready to take her to that next level, or if she's even a part of your plan for the future...so, based on all you say, she sizes you up to know if you're worth waiting for, and if you can provide the kind of financial security she needs in a home

Her love for you is conditional, and even if you've done a whole lot for her in the past, what matters is now and the future

Usually, students within the same age bracket currently dating in school marry based on different scenarios:
1. Either you get a job/start a business asap and the pay is good enough to raise a home
2. If she's the trustworthy type that sees potential in you and wouldn't mind being committed to when you'd be ready
3. If you both focus on career goals while dating now and plan to get married later on

Either way, it seems you might lose her to a guy (your mate or someone older) who's an already made man or on his way up

Usually, you hear the talk...date a younger lady (it's not a guarantee, but then you're given time to hustle up before you take the next step or she plays the marriage card)

MY ADVICE:
Communicate about what's necessary:
*get to understand her feelings, emotions, mindset and plan for her life.

*since you both drifted apart, you need to begin again and try to reconnect...cz you just can't continue where you left off and start talking about marriage

*on your plan for the future, get her to explain what she meant by "scattered"...maybe she has a better idea on something she feels you might be doing wrong

*never be pressured into marriage cz you feel she's the best thing that ever happened to you

In the end, only you can decide if you fight for her, or just let her go

sirusX:
usman3688

From all you're saying, it's obvious she has a particular deadline to being single, and she sees being married as the next thing to achieve (some ladies are wired that way...if not parental or peer pressure).

So, her questioning your plan for your life was to know when you would be ready to take her to that next level, or if she's even a part of your plan for the future...so, based on all you say, she sizes you up to know if you're worth waiting for, and if you can provide the kind of financial security she needs in a home

Her love for you is conditional, and even if you've done a whole lot for her in the past, what matters is now and the future

Usually, students within the same age bracket currently dating in school marry based on different scenarios:
1. Either you get a job/start a business asap and the pay is good enough to raise a home
2. If she's the trustworthy type that sees potential in you and wouldn't mind being committed to when you'd be ready
3. If you both focus on career goals while dating now and plan to get married later on

Either way, it seems you might lose her to a guy (your mate or someone older) who's an already made man or on his way up

Usually, you hear the talk...date a younger lady (it's not a guarantee, but then you're given time to hustle up before you take the next step or she plays the marriage card)

MY ADVICE:
Communicate about what's necessary:
*get to understand her feelings, emotions, mindset and plan for her life.

*since you both drifted apart, you need to begin again and try to reconnect...cz you just can't continue where you left off and start talking about marriage

*on your plan for the future, get her to explain what she meant by "scattered"...maybe she has a better idea on something she feels you might be doing wrong

*never be pressured into marriage cz you feel she's the best thing that ever happened to you

In the end, only you can decide if you fight for her, or just let her go

thanks , u r appreciated

NevetsIbot:
people! It's '' CHAT ,CHATTING" not ''CHART, CHARTING"

auto correct did that, it wasn't my mistake

usman3688:

thanks , u r appreciated

You're welcome