Fhemmmy:

But u will agree that it is no more how it was meant to me, and how it was in the beginning

Good. . . . you just confirmed my point; it has been underrated

Marriage is not Over-rated but Wedding's are!

Believe me, MARRIAGE IS ONE OF THE MOST UNDERATED THINGS ON EARTH! Kids play 'Papa and Mama' (I once did as a child). Teenagers fiddle with the idea of belonging to some one else and Adults have simply made a mess of what this beautiful institution entails. The media is not helping matters neither is our selfish escapist nature. Marriage is founded on love. When you say 'I LOVE YOU' to your spouse it means that you are implying that you are going to be patient, kind, gentle, faithful, believe the best of the person, trust, rejoice with the person, not be jealous and much more as defined by the Bible and as examplified by the Lord Jesus Christ. It does not mean that when you stop feeling the 'butterfly in your stomach' (puppy love) that the marriage is no longer worth saving. LOVE COVERS A MULTITUDE OF SIN. A lot of people are not willing to make that sacrifce or be patient. That there's an increase in divorce rate or single parenthood is a prove to the Biblical saying that "MEN SHALL BECOME LOVERS OF THEMSELVES, LOVE OF MANY SHALL WAX COLD, HATERS OF GOOD AND LOVERS OF EVIL" Paraphrased
A lot of people are not preapred for the realities of marriage but are carried away by the rosy paintings of Hollywood and Novels. I dare ask how many of them have sucessful marriages? Marriage without following God's priciples is frustrating.  MARRIAGE IS NOT OVERATRED RATHER UNPREPARED KID-ADULTS/ DAY DREAMERS GET OVERWHELMED BY ITS REALITES WHEN IN IT.

I am joyfully and sucessfully married by God's grace.

Marriage is not overrated but mis-construed and mis-understood, the reason being that people have thrown away/ignore the manufacturer's manual (Bible) while trying to gain expertise on thid wonderful invention of God. but truth be said, you can't even get the best out of your magnificient piece of german or Japan machine without consultation with the manufacturer's manual. having said that the truth is that not everybody is cut out for marriage, and not everybody really have what it takes  to stay married. if you are not quallified, do not gate-crashed.

Over-rated? Only in Nigeria that marriage is being over-rated and certainly not over-rated for the Nigerian man rather, for their women. Nigerian women are made to feel a 'Failure' if they hadn't got a man by their 30th birthday and that's what feeds the culture. Women are put under immense pressure to marry any thing that has two legs and a 'bell' between their legs. It doesn't matter whether he could perform as a husband or not.

lol. the bell part got me cracking.

anyhoo, i feel marriage's wayyy overated,just like sex. lol.
esp. in 9ja

Yes, likewise many other things like intimacy

Doesn't stop people from indulging in them though.

Unfortunately this is the way we have been programmed to think:

Finish school -->  Get Job -->  Get married --> Have babies

Any deviation from the above is seen as abnormal.

The world is changing, and so should the paradigm of life. Believe it or not, not every woman will find a life partner, and even if they do, many of them will marry at a pretty late age.

1. There are more women than men in the world today.
2. More gay men are popping up everywhere.
3. Most guys don't "make money" until they are past their prime.
etc, etc.

Ifez:

Unfortunately this is the way we have been programmed to think:

[b]Finish school -->  Get Job -->  Get married --> Have babies

Any deviation from the above is seen as abnormal.
[/b]
The world is changing, and so should the paradigm of life. Believe it or not, not every woman will find a life partner, and even if they do, many of them will marry at a pretty late age.

1. There are more women than men in the world today.
2. More gay men are popping up everywhere.
3. Most guys don't "make money" until they are past their prime.
etc, etc.

Who defined the above and who say we have to be normal based on the community's definition?

Marriage isn't so much overarated, but it is misunderstood.

@ LORD REED

Lets get the terms clear. Wedding is different from Marriage. A wedding is like the gateway for entering into a marriage. To confuse the desire to experience a wedding with the desire for marriage is just dat CONFUSION. Doesn't make marriage overrated. Weddings maybe but marriage no.

Marriage is not Over-rated but Wedding's are!

No. marriage is what two people make it. if both partners are not willing to share the good times and the bad times together, the marriage will not last. marriage is not a 50-50 situation. someone has to be the leader. a 60-40 compromise has worked for my fiance and i. we compromise on everyday decisions, and team together on emergencies.

Marriage is a team effort. you have to work at making a marriage work. its a second job. love and respect are the main ingredients that holds a marriage together. lose one or the other and the marriage will suffer.

Marriage is not overrated.

Its what two people make of it. if the marriage fails, its the fault of the relationship.

Overated ke!!! I have been married since i was 27 and 10 years on, it is the best decision i ever made (aside the decision to get the hell out of Naija). The thought of coming home every night to someone soft and cuddly? the thought of you always having a number 6 anytime and anywhere? absolutely wonderful.  Grin

You are all Sages. You've spoken well and I quite agree with you.  HE WHO'S GOT EYES SHOULD READ THESE WORDS OF WISDOM AND BE WISE

Akuviv:

@ LORD REED


You are all Sages. You've spoken well and I quite agree with you.  HE WHO'S GOT EYES SHOULD READ THESE WORDS OF WISDOM AND BE WISE

Those are all nice, till u read the post of people that has been on the other side of the good news, and yu will see that marriage is just a plot to make a man has some rings

Fhemmmy:

Who defined the above and who say we have to be normal based on the community's definition?

My point exactly! But unfortunately many people think that if they don't follow the "community's definition," then the society sees them as abnormal.

Too bad.

londoner:

Marriage isn't so much overarated, but it is misunderstood.

I totally agree! the purpose of marriage is grossly misunderstood, and so also is that of having babies.

Ifez:

My point exactly! But unfortunately many people think that if they don't follow the "community's definition," then the society sees them as abnormal.

Too bad.

Till we are able to stand on our own feet and do what we think is right for us and our generation, we will continue to live the dream of others and not be ourself.
There is nothing worse than falling in love with someone that is not who we think they are.

Double N:

Marriage is not Over-rated but Wedding's are!

Thank you! Please add traditional marriage to the list. Never really saw the point. I still don't

Ifez:

Thank you! Please add traditional marriage to the list. Never really saw the point. I still don't

But u cant separate wedding from marriage.
Besides, either traditional or Non-traditional, it is all overblown fabu

I don't think marriage is overrated, no.

But I'm also aware marriage isn't for everyone.

Siena:

I don't think marriage is overrated, no.

But I'm also aware marriage isn't for everyone.

Na wa oh, you mean you are not just a car man, you sabi family stuff too, i really respect you jare.
So when a man realize, t is not for him, what is next?
Remember that the woman will be looking for how to make the man feel sorry and all that, forgetting that the man is just doing her a favor by checking out before it is too late

Lord Reed:

People crash n die in cars.
People get scammed on the internet.
People get blown out of the sky by terrorists.
People die during surgeries.

Yeah technology is overated (cos we kill ourselves with it) so maybe we should just stop using technology huh?

Despair about how things turn out solves no problems.

SPOT ON!!

Fhemmmy:

But u cant separate wedding from marriage.
Besides, either traditional or Non-traditional, it is all overblown fabu

Nah, you can get married without the so-called fabu wedding!

For many people, marriage is all about the wedding and the title of being "married."

Siena:

But I'm also aware marriage isn't for everyone.

Yep, the sooner we start accepting that not everyone is meant to get married, the better off we all would be.

If your prime reason for wanting to get married at a young age is "babies," please you would be better off freezing your eggs and waiting for the Mr. Right, than you would be by tying the knot with the wrong guy.

I don talk my own  

Ifez:

Nah, you can get married without the so-called fabu wedding!

For many people, marriage is all about the wedding and the title of being "married."

Yep, the sooner we start accepting that not everyone is meant to get married, the better off we all would be.

If your prime reason for wanting to get married at a young age is "babies," please you would be better off freezing your eggs and waiting for the Mr. Right, than you would be by tying the knot with the wrong guy.

I don talk my own  

I think the mind of most ladies has to be rewired to understand that it is not about how many people are fed at your weddding that matters, but what happens afterwards

Fhemmmy:

I think the mind of most ladies has to be rewired to understand that it is not about how many people are fed at your weddding that matters, but what happens afterwards

Abi o. Spend all your money cooking rice for the wedding guests, then go back and drink garri with your hubby afterward.

Na so Naija wedding be. Lwkmd!

Fhemmmy:

Those are all nice, till u read the post of people that has been on the other side of the good news, and yu will see that marriage is just a plot to make a man has some rings

What those people do not understand is that marriage is like starting and owning a business. You can start with little capital to set up your office (home) conduct interveiw for potential employees (dating) and eventually employ a general manager (wife). Now the job of GM is very very important because the GM must be capable enough to know what you want in relation to the vision you have for the company, (Home/marriage) and be able to run it efficiently and effectively. The GM also must be able to identify where and when to diversify in order for the company to grow (her own career). Eventually when the company is on sure footing more staffs can be employed to help sustain the business for posterity sake. (children) 

Ifez:

Abi o. Spend all your money cooking rice for the wedding guests, then go back and drink garri with your hubby afterward.

Na so Naija wedding be. Lwkmd!  

I dont even see what they doing in Nija as wedding, i see it as show off, it is time for Ronke to show Funke that she can do it better, and shade will put what ronke and funke did together to be a better wedding, it is all bull $hit

bidemi12:

What those people do not understand is that marriage is like starting and owning a business. You can start with little capital to set up your office (home) conduct interveiw for potential employees (dating) and eventually employ a general manager (wife). Now the job of GM is very very important because the GM must be capable enough to know what you want in relation to the vision you have for the company, (Home/marriage) and be able to run it efficiently and effectively. The GM also must be able to identify where and when to diversify in order for the company to grow (her own career). Eventually when the company is on sure footing more staffs can be employed to help sustain the business for posterity sake. (children) 

I dont see the comparison at all.
In Marriage, it is not easy to work away, but can easily work away from work.

Fhemmmy:

Na wa oh, you mean you are not just a car man, you sabi family stuff too, i really respect you jare.
So when a man realize, t is not for him, what is next?
Remember that the woman will be looking for how to make the man feel sorry and all that, forgetting that the man is just doing her a favor by checking out before it is too late

Fhemmmy my brother, family's important to me.

Fhemmmy:

I dont see the comparison at all.
In Marriage, it is not easy to work away, but can easily work away from work.

Hence why the initial stage of any relationship is important. And yes you can walk away. what's that dirty word again, (thinking) yes, divorce. As costly as severance pay.

If you get married because you know that you love your partner and already have a great relationship,no. If you get married,thinking that it will change your relationship, or in order to get out of your parents house,yes

Siena:

Fhemmmy my brother, family's important to me.  

That is great, i respect u for that.
[b][/b]

bidemi12:

Hence why the initial stage of any relationship is important. And yes you can walk away. what's that dirty word again, (thinking) yes, divorce. As costly as severance pay.

Yes, u can, but never that easy.

r231:

If you get married because you know that you love your partner and already have a great relationship,no. If you get married,thinking that it will change your relationship, or in order to get out of your parents house,yes

There more to marriage than love.

this guy is seeing the wrong things.Marriage can be a bed of roses even though roses ave thorns.irrespective its a beautiful thingy.

Marriage in itself isnt overrated. Its just ppl's belief nd perception that is. We shd also realize at this point that not everyone of us is 'cut out' for marriage.

Obonbo:

this guy is seeing the wrong things.Marriage can be a bed of roses even though roses ave thorns.irrespective its a beautiful thingy.

It is only a mumu that will wanna sleep on rose bed full of thorns.

Obonbo:

this guy is seeing the wrong things.Marriage can be a bed of roses even though roses ave thorns.irrespective its a beautiful thingy.

Go and say that to a woman that the husband is beating her up, or have to live with a man that cheats and yet she cant say jack

MARRIAGE DOESN'T WORK AGAIN BECAUSE OF OUR FORGOTTEN TRADITION

1. When going to your husband's house it was a taboo to come back.

2. When you have some misunderstanding in your marriage then (those days) family elders will be invited to settle it no matter the magnitude, I don't think that still happens now( the decision in yours)

3. It's some sort of a shame then to have a child without a father.

4. It was also shameful to be a single mother. No body cares now.

All of the above makes divorce or separation difficult, But now western civilization has taken charge, Quite interesting though but you will have to your village to get a wife "that's if many still have one".