Tell me

Thanks iice. It's just so sad that most people just say things that they don't know or understand. I appreciate ur concern, it mean't a lot to me.

daprince, some people are just small-minded and there is nothing you can do about it. It will probably cause them problems in their life along the way, so they are the ones who lose out from having those attitudes.

daprince,

I'm sorry you are so embittered by what you see as people looking down on you and making you feel you are sub-human.

I also believe that it doesn't matter what situation one comes out from, it's possible for everyone to make a life choice that will see them as exemplary in life.

However, I dont think you should be bitter because some people make choices as to what kind of men/women they can marry. Life is all about choices. that why they are free to make choices. I'm sure you also make choices in life and you choices dont necessarily mean that you despise the ones you dont chose.

it's about preference.

I once stated that I could never marry a white woman and some people said it means I'm a racist. Yet, most of my friends are white. We all need to look at ourselves and make choices based on our beliefs and what we think will work best for us.

Please dont take it to heart too much and try making the best of your own life. Perhaps if people who dont want to get involved with children from broken homes get to meet people like you living very stabl, happy lives, they'll be more inclined to change their minds.

God bless

daprince, my heart goes out 2 u wen readin yor post. U made a very gud point. But d issue is dat u can't blame or stop pple from makin choices. Like u also said dat u will make sure dat u do not make d same mistakes yor parents made, u will agree with me dat it's not a gud thing. Come 2 think of it; not many children from broken homes wil be as 'gud' as u. There has been hundreds of pple from broken homes which others might hav seen 2 enable dem make their decision. God bless u!

You're not different. You may even be better emotionally.

Daprince,

I'm with you all the way,I grew up with my parents living apart they never actually told anyone what drove them apart and we (the children) have learned how to live with the situation.I read that thread about marrying a person from a broken home and all I could say was very typical hypothetical Nigerians.

First we have to define a broken home, is it divorced parents,separated or those living together for the sake of their children and with society would say.
I have seen that many marriages are in the later category,there are so many couples (parents) who are actually live-in-enemies,they pretend that all is well but when the strangers are all gone,its back to world war 3.

Nigerians Are Hypocrites,

Thats a fact.If you take a close look are those who condemn offsprings from broken homes,they are also the members who say the would divorce their cheating husband/wife in a heart beat,these people are also the ones who preach the gospel better than Jesus himself.While these members tell you in Religion  threads how you should not Judge others as Jesus has come and made everything new but we know better.

Personally,I couldn't give a rats a$$ if a girl refuses to marry me because my parents are not living together,I would wish her well and hope hers doesn't break up,making her children the dreaded Children From A Broken Home.

Prince,
Take easy,people would always have their prejudices regardless.

Cheers

this is a very interesing topic. well contrary to popular opinion, people from broken homes are not different perhaps they even learn earlier than other that there more to life than the kissses and the hugs, there are some hard places too. don't let it bother you, yeah the mistakes our prents made have their effect on us but we don't have to keep paying for their mistakes for rest of our lives. they made thier choices and had to live with them and probably force the consequences of their actions on us as well, but after a certain stage we have to make our choices for ourselves at least i have never seen a job appication or resume that asked for family status. so make your choices and make them right. hey u've got a great life ahead of u don't let someone elses mistakes take ur future from u. cheerio.

hello all, my hubby is from a broken home and I dont think there could be a better husb than him. his father stopped payin his fees when he was 11 and his mum actually took all the burden on herself. this actually gave hima very strong personality and made him take responsibities early, while many of his mates where still sucking up to there parents (dad& mum) he started his own comp when he was 22 and thats a comp he still runs till date. He is so determined to have a better family than his parents and he already has plans laid out for his childtren. I could go on and on to let u guys know that somtims as broken home might just bring out the best in ones personality. Simply depends on how u handle it. Some other pple might not hav gotten anytin out of it so it just shows that U CAN BE WHAT U WANT TO BE, Irrespective of whatever situation u find urself.

Thanks for all ur responses, I really appreciate them.

hiya daprince(lik ur name sha).id just lik to say that coming from a broken home doesnt make u any different than the average person.in my opinion i think it kinda makes u a better,more considerate and tolerant fellow.i am from a broken home.grew up with my mom who was both a father nd mother to i and my sibling.as a child i was kinda bitter nd generally hated d male folks .Actually said i was never giong to get married , nd remain a bachelorette,cuz i felt all guys were wacked,but wit time(which always heal all wounds) ,i got over all dat.bottom line,i think coming from a broken home has made me wiser,tolerant and determined to make my own marriage work ,cuz i knw wat it feels lik to hurt nd feel rejeced.it doesnt make me less of an individual.it has actually made me a strong independent female wit a mind of her own but with the wisdom of knowing when to compromise nd be diplomatic for the sake of peace.so cheer up dude

@ poster,you don't have to get yourself all worked up because you came from a broken home.The fact that you have decided not to thread that part is quite good.
But for real,some people raised in broken homes have funny attitudes as they never experienced certain things that those brought up by both parents did.
However, when considering this issue,we need to consider why the parent's marriage failed and the individual's view about this.

But obviously,if i see a guy who is proud and sees the fact that he's parents are separated as a good thing,i will flee.

Nairalanders sometimes generalize and judge. Many have had no real life experiences to go by and frankly sound like ignorant 8 year olds sometimes.
One thing i know is that what doesnt kill you makes you stronger. Good to know you learnt what not to do.

its poverty mentality that makes people stigmatize kids from broken homes.

you hear things like divorce rate is higher, they turn out wrong, bla bla bla.

mostly stereotypes and false.

there are many unbroken homes where the kids still turn out bad, get teenage pregnancies or grow up to be divorced anyway.


Castigating someone because they're from a broken home is just backward.

Oga,
we are together, its not only you. I pray to God eveyday to help me when i'm married to be a good wife and for God to sustain my marriage cos it wasnt easy while growing up

tpia:

its poverty mentality that makes people stigmatize kids from broken homes.

you hear things like divorce rate is higher, they turn out wrong, bla bla bla.

mostly stereotypes and false.

there are many unbroken homes where the kids still turn out bad, get teenage pregnancies or grow up to be divorced anyway.


Castigating someone because they're from a broken home is just backward.

ur correct,infact am a product of a broken home as well and those that have been in such shoes, or are in such shoes have an idea of what goes on,but never have a perfect idea of what each individaul passes thru,because everybodys case has some pecuiliarites.

@post
comming from a broken home,is like a two edged sword it can make u or break u,many criminals,cultists etc are begotten as a result emotional trauma from broken homes.that is not to say that if ur from a broken home,ur criminal inclined, NO,am from a broken home and ill never wish what i passed thru on my enemies, ,however i know God put me thru those for reasons which obviously has made me a better person today and will make me avoid stupid decisons that ill put my children in such pain tomoro and believe me, a God fearing girl from a broken home is the best thing that can happen to any man

Well Mr poster, the issue were really well presented. You made a good point, daprince. But that point is being turned to sympathy party for you. I am afraid, the silient issues had to be iron out or else your post might look as though you are courting sympathy.

The underlying messages are:

CAN KIDS FROM BROKEN HOMES MAKE A GOOD FAMILY MAN?

ARE KIDS FROM BROKEN HOME DIFFERENCE FROM OTHER KIDS?

WHAT REALLY DOES A BROKEN HOME IMPLIES?

The answers to the questions, if I must be honest with you are YES and NO!

It may sound harsh, but the truth is that it is very possible for children from broken homes to repeat the sins of their parents. It is also possible for them to do better than their so-called nornal kids. There is no perfect kid.

From my experiences, studies and observations, kids from broken homes and failed marriages are prone to many social vices. We must rather touch on why it happen and how to prevent it carry over than throw try to cover up.

The biggest problem we have around is our tendency to overcome a defficiency only to act as if it were never there.

olanajim:

CAN KIDS FROM BROKEN HOMES MAKE A GOOD FAMILY MAN?

yes. making a good family man is not a function of coming form a broken or intact home. its all about being responsible.
Being a "good family man" is a conscious thing not a function of past unchangeable events.

How many homes in nigeria are unbroken? what does it even mean to have a broken home?
A home is broken once a man/woman has/is having an extra-marital affair, they may not neccesarily seperate or divorce but the home is broken cos they now have divided attention/passion and all other things suffering including the kids.

so by this definition, how many nigerian homes are broken?

ARE KIDS FROM BROKEN HOME DIFFERENCE FROM OTHER KIDS?

Nope. They lack attention from their parents which kids from "unbroken homes" dont get either.

From my experiences, studies and observations, kids from broken homes and failed marriages are prone to many social vices. We must rather touch on why it happen and how to prevent it carry over than throw try to cover up.

Nope. Social vices are an end result of several things and not neccessarily broken homes.
cultism for instance is as a result of being idle and a new found "freedom" coupled with insecurity.

what's your definition of a broken home?

@cayon

a broken homes,when fathers seperated,divorced etc from mother,or vice versa for what ever reason. ,some thing like this

I'm with Daprince 100% A perfect example is Barack Obama. I am sure his wife would be kicking herself right now, if she had said she wouldn't marry anyone from a broken home. Keep your head up, we just have to prove them wrong that's all. 

I now how you feel about this. your life does not lies in the past and what counts is that you are mater of your own life

Aww! This is the exact kind of pity tale that melts the hearts of women.

Some people's narrow mindedness just baffles me sometimes. Why in the world should people from broken homes or however u want to define the situation be judged, labeled and stereotyped for a situation that was so out of their control. Those who are so quick to provide any negative statistic about the future of children from broken homes should also take the time to find the positive statistics on the other side of coin.
I have friends who have seriously been through situations that kids blessed to have been spoiled by mom and dad like myself could never comprehend but have made the best out their experience. I noticed that most of my male friends with character and responsibility had grown up with either one of their parent missing from their lives. I am so lucky that my friendship cycle is very expansive enough that I could meet people from genuine backgrounds which has helped me not to be as narrow minded. I don't care how f-upped one's family is so long as their head is right. The actions of one's family should not be the sole factor by which we seek to define one's personality or their ability to be successful in one sector or the other in life.
Soon some of u NARROW MINDED, TUNNEL VISION, people will say poor kids will always or most likely to be poor, children with uneducated parents are most likely to fail should they decide to seek education and other stupid and ridiculous generalizations.

I vehemently want to make it clear that, one's situation can either make or break them down. At the end of the day there are positives and negatives underlining circumstances that go into shaping different people's level of success in an area such as marriage. Some rascals that come from two parent homes will live u dumbfounded. It takes two to make a relationship work so I do not understand why the blame for a failed marriage ought be carried by a particular group just because their parents could did not work.

Some of us have been handed our lemonade for the most part of lives, served quite chill and ready to gulp that we we take for granted the ability of others who have to squeeze hard lemons to reach the same end.

To each his own, but I find it ridiculous to undermine one particular group of people because of an A,B, and C situation totally beyond their control. Family back ground or not, if u chose to get into a relationship with someone, be man or woman enough to handle ur own part of the deal or don't get into it in the first place, period!!

wbb

Old thread sha.

While stereotyping, in all its forms, is wrong, to ignore people's backgrounds is naive.

If you don't understand where someone is coming from, it makes it difficult to work towards a common future. Everyone views life using their own paradigm, and their point of view is heavily influenced by their past.

I am not saying specific backgrounds are good or bad, but some one from a 'successful' polygamous family might have a kinder view on polygamy than one from a 'failed' polygamous situation. In the same vein, someone who was raised 'successfully' by a single parent might be more willing to accept separation, than live through what they perceive as a hellish marriage. The guy who grew up in an environment that is discriminatory to women, might grow up to think less of women.

Being from a broken home is not bad in itself, but in my limited experience, they tend to have a different perception of wedlock and parenting. Same can be said for children from a polygamous vs monogamous family.

(puts on flame suit)

hey guys, check out on broken family and the major causes https://www.teachalearner.com/broken-family/