Oluwasaeon:
Chelsea knocking out Spurs is the only experience I have...KTBFFH

me too

Ishilove:
Those carefree days when the girls in Makama Bida Hall engaged in free-for-all cussfests with the dudes in Sodeinde Hall.

We were neighbours, you see. We could not waka in peace without the boys cat-calling or making fun of our dressing. The 'war' I got directly involved in was the one that erupted when one naughty boy declared that somebody's pant (she hanged it on her window to dry) was big enough to sew Iro and buba.

Goodness, that night was bloody. I could have sworn they heard the ruckus yonder Senate building. We flocked to our windows and the backyard to cuss ourselves out and pour 'pant water' on the boys. The 'battle' only ended when the hall porters threatened to call the infamous UNILAG 'Black Maria' to arrest us for disturbing the peace.

Aaaaaah, those were the days...

Reminds me of Nelson Mandela hostel boys in Uniport ,those boys were troublesoooome .they'll gather themselves in groups and wait 4 girls to cuss and bully .

sisisioge:


Mine would be the day I got a love letter from a guy describing a one sided kiss with several embellishments and gory. He embarrassed me with the picture he painted...looking back, It makes me smile.

This dude came to my school in Ibadan all the way from Lagos. It was during the O-levels preparatory classes, so Seniors stayed back in school. Dude and I loved each when we wrote alone. On paper, he was the love of my life cos he could write me a novel as letters. When his letters come, me and my girls would spend several hours reading and rereading...he knew how to make a woman feel good( yeah, girl-woman ). In reality, he wasn't even my kind of guy...short and bowlegged

Anyways, he came to visit me and he was allowed in because I was a prefect. We had a whole class to ourselves and dude just sat there not saying any particular thing. We spent half of his visit being silent and talking about nothing in particular. Eventually, he was ready to go and I made to hug him. Oga drew me tightly and smacked my lips with a kiss! It was my first! Terribly inconsequential! I saw him off and decided I didn't want him anymore.

Imagine my surprise when he wrote describing the kiss. Remember the norm was to pass the letter round? I couldn't do it. I ran with the letter to escape my perceived shame. This was a guy I told all I didn't like. This same guy was smirked about after he left by all and sundry. Imagine me kissing him. I ran and they gave chase. It was as if the heavens would far if they read it. They were determined. Eventually, I fell into a gutter and some of them followed me in Had to remain there while tearing and chewing as fast as I could. Till today, I have an injury on my leg to show for my courageous secret keeping...them eediotic girls thought he wrote about us having se..x. Eventually, the scandal that followed was more than would have blown if they had read the letter.

As for the guy, I broke up with him brutally afterwards. When I look back, I can't help LOL.

This is epic and deeeep

I go school like every other day, na so I notice sey belle dey pain me. olodo when I be na, I dey play with my classmates. Na so I notice something dey move for my veejah. I know sey na puberty things but I be shy baby. Na so I gum my yansh for chair
No be now wey 12 years old dey ss3 that time you go see people wey don reach 30 years for jss1. Na so one aunty for my class notice my body movement come ask me, I tell her say the puberty don catch up with me . My green skirt don soak wella. Na she come help me, I reach house around 6 that day. I dey walka like fowl wey rain beat. I laugh any day I remember that incident. I mumu that day

Let me throw in this one.

I remembered when we were in this outdoor gym (street gym), guyz were doing competition on who could bench the highest reps with heaviest weights. Strong men were doing their thing as usual, one guy from nowhere started bragging he could bench 15 reps. He thought, what we were doing was child's play. I just tell guyz make dem clear road for am. No one will assist him to lift the weights. We left him and stood some distance away from the bench. Omo mehn, d guy no fit lift the weights from the ground, we assisted him. Oya now, start to dey bench, na problem. As him wan nearly do one rep, na him the barbell fall on top am. Omo mehn, guyz just discharge. The guy knock(faint). Na some pple lift the weight commot for him body.

For him life, him no go near weights again

sisisioge:


Mine would be the day I got a love letter from a guy describing a one sided kiss with several embellishments and gory. He embarrassed me with the picture he painted...looking back, It makes me smile.

This dude came to my school in Ibadan all the way from Lagos. It was during the O-levels preparatory classes, so Seniors stayed back in school. Dude and I loved each when we wrote alone. On paper, he was the love of my life cos he could write me a novel as letters. When his letters come, me and my girls would spend several hours reading and rereading...he knew how to make a woman feel good( yeah, girl-woman ). In reality, he wasn't even my kind of guy...short and bowlegged

Anyways, he came to visit me and he was allowed in because I was a prefect. We had a whole class to ourselves and dude just sat there not saying any particular thing. We spent half of his visit being silent and talking about nothing in particular. Eventually, he was ready to go and I made to hug him. Oga drew me tightly and smacked my lips with a kiss! It was my first! Terribly inconsequential! I saw him off and decided I didn't want him anymore.

Imagine my surprise when he wrote describing the kiss. Remember the norm was to pass the letter round? I couldn't do it. I ran with the letter to escape my perceived shame. This was a guy I told all I didn't like. This same guy was smirked about after he left by all and sundry. Imagine me kissing him. I ran and they gave chase. It was as if the heavens would far if they read it. They were determined. Eventually, I fell into a gutter and some of them followed me in Had to remain there while tearing and chewing as fast as I could. Till today, I have an injury on my leg to show for my courageous secret keeping...them eediotic girls thought he wrote about us having se..x. Eventually, the scandal that followed was more than would have blown if they had read the letter.

As for the guy, I broke up with him brutally afterwards. When I look back, I can't help LOL.

HAHAHAHA! You must be a carton character. I could picture everything in my head. Funny story.

xynerise:
Past experiences can be one of the greatest stories to share and even start an interesting conversation with your friends and lovers. No wonder the best comedians today are the ones who use their past/real life experiences to tell jokes.

Your past experiences could be months, year or decades ago. It all depends on how it taught you a lesson or how it made you laugh out loud or smile each time it flashes on your head.

For me, most of my funny experiences happened as a kid. I could remember when boys act like sissies and girls act like machos. Thanks to puberty that corrected the error

I could remember how I was bullied by a girl ....Calm down, she doesn't look like a girl.

I was about 11 and she was 12. This girl looks masculine. No breasts at all. She has yam legs and huge biceps. -:\

There was a day I decided to act the man I am and face my fears(as my dad always would advised). I met her and challenged her to a fight. I didn't know I made the biggest mistake of my life .


In the afternoon, others came out and they formed a circle and we were both in the circle like a brawl .

Before I could say Jack Robinson, I was lifted high above my enemies and my legs were just swinging like a pendulum. The only thing I could say was "you no go drop me now? Drop me 1..2...3...4". That only got her angrier and the next thing, I was given a De'rica of sand in my mouth.

Well, I fought a good fight though. E no easy to survive such fight. .


Each time I have that flashback, I just smile sheepishly.

The girl is a mother of 5 now


Share yours...


Cc: Lalasticlala

lolzz.... Belle dey pain me for laff.. Ur own story gud oo.. Nice memory lane

temitope277:
me too

Ma nigga

Freeezzz:

Kikikikikikikikikikiki, bros, you dey mad ooooo!

Mine was the day rain fail on me while going to class.. my shoe started smelling.




One lady beside was d only one complaining and later on others joined. As an igbo I joined them and we were all complaining about the smelly shoe.


We all changed position... I can't forget that moment shaa

Ishilove:
Those carefree days when the girls in Makama Bida Hall engaged in free-for-all cussfests with the dudes in Sodeinde Hall.

We were neighbours, you see. We could not waka in peace without the boys cat-calling or making fun of our dressing. The 'war' I got directly involved in was the one that erupted when one naughty boy declared that somebody's pant (she hanged it on her window to dry) was big enough to sew Iro and buba.

Goodness, that night was bloody. I could have sworn they heard the ruckus yonder Senate building. We flocked to our windows and the backyard to cuss ourselves out and pour 'pant water' on the boys. The 'battle' only ended when the hall porters threatened to call the infamous UNILAG 'Black Maria' to arrest us for disturbing the peace.

Aaaaaah, those were the days...

That occurrence still goes on in UNILAG till date. It usually happens on evenings when the guys are idle in a blackout. God bless you if you are fat and you pass by. There's another version at Jaja hall too. Those ones tease faculty of science girls.

like seriously past is a memory one cannot forget so quick

I remember one time on sunday, I wasn't given offering money. and the pastor be like everybody must come out from their sit. I've to fold my empty hand tight put hand inside the basket and dance on


I remember when I was in jss3 there is this lady I like but I've very serious fears to approach her. Later I decided to express myself thru a letter, I dropped the letter inside her locker during closing time, before she return bck to the class, I had left....I couldn't come to school for good 4days because of fears . i told mom I was ill, mom keep asking me when is this illness going to end after giving me all drugs of which I was pouring inside the dustbin

at the end, the loverboy lost the girl to the hand of a naughty guy

NaturaEssie:
when l was in primary school,someone farted and our teacher had to start smelling everyone's butt

lol....very hilarious. perhaps you were the culprit.

fuckjesus:

lol....very hilarious. perhaps you were the culprit.

Lol no be me o

unclezuma:
I'd just finished a stressful meeting and on the way home I'd farted in an elevator at the top floor...and stepped out immediately afterwards to catch another one.

I cannot come and kii myself...I heard the story at the reception that something died inside the elevator.

Gosh

During the Ebola- outburst, there was a mesaage that went round about Salt and water bath (Im sure we all know this)

That very day at my hostel, i realised many girls received calls from home about bathing with salt water. Well...as a doubting thomas which i could be sometimes, I didnt bother (even though i had enough salt in my wardrobe).

Only for me to get to the bathroom and i saw a girl whose water was looking so creamy. I suppose she bought salt worth #1500 and poured into the bucket of water. I looked at her and started laughing....She looked at me too and probably realised how stupid she was and she joined in the Laughter.

I couldnt hold back, i had to tell my roomates about it. Anytime i remember that day, I laff out so Loud especially when it was clarified that it was a rumour.

today is exactly 20years my Ex broke up with me for sharpening another girl's pencil in primary school.

Oluwasaeon:
Ma nigga

hw 2da match

NaturaEssie:
when l was in primary school,someone farted and our teacher had to start smelling everyone's butt

I remember this also

Ever had dysentery or is it diarrhea before in a bus from oshodi to toll gate(Agbado ijaye) ......I had n it was brutally nasty.....here goes
I went to a conference @ Eko Hotel n towers.... Had a lotta drink n food...... I was feeling full when one of d servers ( a cute dark geh like DAT) offered me a whole plate of rice....2 big turkey pieces n some salad...instead of me to keep till later.. I wolfed it all down.....was on d bus from island to oshodi when my tummy(had been behaving funny since morning coz I ate beans) started playing me some tunes...I ignored n it was controllable till I got to oshodi @7pm( u know Lagos traffic)
From oshodi to ijaye na DIE.......my tummy revolted n I spent virtually all my energies compressing my ASS while poo rhythmically swore to find a way thru..d consequence.....abnormal sweating!!!!!
D Lady sitting close to me noticed n was concerned...kept asking if I was alright...couldn't speak just nodded...all my power focused on d gravity defying.....tummy compress ignoring....all purpose fvck up giving... POO....
d poor thing thought I had malaria n was busy using a hankie to pat my face.
DAT day I cursed all d drivers causing holdup in Lagos.....I was half dead with exhaustion by d time d bus drew at my bustop!!!! I practically flew out n started running like a mad man looking for any place to drop d poo......
It wasn't funny coz some peeps thought something happened n a few started running too!Lmao!!!!! I knew I couldn't hold it any longer when I called a bike man..offered him a thousand bucks to carry me anywia I can deposit poo......dude was a pro.....n rode like hell for an eatery way past my house.....I barged in straight to d Loo.....n VOILÀ!!! Emptied my load in there... Spent like 30 mins inside......I felt like I just gave birth or something!!!! Bike man carried me home(nice guy)
I never got a chance to thank DAT nice geh in d bus...my only regret!!!

I remember back in primary school I think primary 3 or 4 I went I find trouble with 1 girl the next thing up to 10 girls Follow me I didn't know where to go so I enter 1 room that day I chop beating of life from girls hand

and in jss3 I went to school hungry but my mother gave me bread and butter with tea to take chill body for school [ God go punish the person wey do me this thing ] so when I got to school hunger dy catch me but I couldn't eat bkus it was class through out so I kept on checking my bag every single minute to make sure the food is always there, I was just praying for the break bell to ring and it rang oya happy moment time to chow suddenly I opened my bag guess what I couldn't find my bread and butter and tea again. o my God I was like what happened I opened my bag up to 10 times I searched the whole class mehn I couldn't find my food. that day I cry eeh I even swear for that person heavy heavy swear. hunger wire ma life that day. later I see my bread nylon with butter inside Oo God that day I waste tears. I can never forget that day.

I still remember in primary school how they used to drink my water after I came from play play during break time and I didn't know the person so 1 day I load spit inside the water come shake am put inside go play to my greatest surprise they drank it
na so I say who drink this water Don drink saliva, na so 1 boy get up shout whaaat start to dy cough e wan vomit that day


lol those days I really miss them

Phunkyposh:
The second poster made me remembered sometimes in 2009 when I was returning from work one hot afternoon and I was pressed(I was purging earlier ) .....
MyGod, it was hell. Only to get home and realized no one was home.I was to get the spare key from Mumc from a not too far location.... I was walking fast and will slow down when the poo seem close.... Hot sweats were Mad over me.

My stomach was rumbling and ranting. My anus was under pressure. .i was disorganized.
Called Mum but she refused to come to me, rather she sent someone to give me the key....
No-one to share my ordeal with. (Aye le music comes to heart).

I tiptoed, crawled, ran, walked up .........**input all means of movement you know here** just to get home in time before Mr poo messes me

I got to the gate, unlocked the padlock......... The race from gate to the door..... Usain Bolt got nothing on me.....





That moment you let all out...... Then More hot sweat tickled down my body.
Lolxxxcccccc

My most recent was similar but I was sweating in chilling AC.

Enroute Lagos Island from Farrr Alimosho ... Lawd have mercy.... ...The rhythmic movement in my stomach pass DJ beats
It wasntt easy..
But it was worth it holding or else..... Embarrassment will be an understatement !!!

Survivor of stomach unsettlement and convenience matters
May I witness no more

lol. Mind what you eat and reduce your sugar intake.

Ishilove:
Those carefree days when the girls in Makama Bida Hall engaged in free-for-all cussfests with the dudes in Sodeinde Hall.

We were neighbours, you see. We could not waka in peace without the boys cat-calling or making fun of our dressing. The 'war' I got directly involved in was the one that erupted when one naughty boy declared that somebody's pant (she hanged it on her window to dry) was big enough to sew Iro and buba.

Goodness, that night was bloody. I could have sworn they heard the ruckus yonder Senate building. We flocked to our windows and the backyard to cuss ourselves out and pour 'pant water' on the boys. The 'battle' only ended when the hall porters threatened to call the infamous UNILAG 'Black Maria' to arrest us for disturbing the peace.

Aaaaaah, those were the days...

Never Knew You Graduated From Unilag, What Was The Year You Graduated?

luminouz:
Ever had dysentery or is it diarrhea before in a bus from oshodi to toll gate(Agbafo ijaye) before......I had n it was brutally nasty.....here goes
I went to a conference @ Eko Hotel n towers.... Had a lotta drink n food...... I was feeling full when one of d servers ( a cute dark geh like DAT) offered me a whole plate of rice....2 big turkey pieces n some salad...instead of me to keep till later.. I wolfed it all down.....was on d bus from island to oshodi when my tummy(had been behaving funny since morning coz I ate beans) started playing me some tunes...I ignored n it was controllable till I got to oshodi @7pm( u know Lagos traffic)
From oshodi to ijaye na DIE.......my tummy revolted n I spent virtually all my energies compressing my ASS while poo rhythmically swore to find a way thru..d consequence.....abnormal sweating!!!!!
D Lady sitting close to me noticed n was concerned...kept asking if I was alright...couldn't speak just nodded...all my power focused on d gravity defying.....tummy compress ignoring....all purpose Bleep up giving... POO....d poor thing thought I had malaria n was busy using a hankie to pat my face.
DAT day I cursed all d drivers causing holdup in Lagos.....I was half dead with exhaustion by d time d bus drew at my bustop!!!! I practically flew out n started running like a mad man looking for any place to drop d poo......
It wasn't funny coz some peeps thought something happened n a few started running too!Lmao!!!!! I knew I couldn't hold it any longer when I called a bike man..offered him a thousand bucks to carry me anywia I can deposit poo......dude was a pro.....n rode like hell for an eatery way past my house.....I barged in straight to s Loo.....n VOILÀ!!! Emptied my load in there... Spent like 30 mins inside......I felt like I just gave birth or something!!!! Bike man carried me home(nice guy)
I never got a chance tonthank DAT nice geh in d bus...my only regret!!!!

e Don do me sef I go run I go stop I go run I go stop

temitope277:
hw 2da match

Like always bro...Making them know water is wet

AlphaStyles:


e Don do me sef I go run I go stop I go run I go stop

Lmaooo!!!!

Ishilove:
Those carefree days when the girls in Makama Bida Hall engaged in free-for-all cussfests with the dudes in Sodeinde Hall.

We were neighbours, you see. We could not waka in peace without the boys cat-calling or making fun of our dressing. The 'war' I got directly involved in was the one that erupted when one naughty boy declared that somebody's pant (she hanged it on her window to dry) was big enough to sew Iro and buba.

Goodness, that night was bloody. I could have sworn they heard the ruckus yonder Senate building. We flocked to our windows and the backyard to cuss ourselves out and pour 'pant water' on the boys. The 'battle' only ended when the hall porters threatened to call the infamous UNILAG 'Black Maria' to arrest us for disturbing the peace.

Aaaaaah, those were the days...

lol...You schooled in unilag??

mine happen wen we re still in federal university dutsinma in Katrina state... base on na north na so we dey inside lecture hall like dis nd one car just d pas by, d next tin we heard was explosion, so everyone just d find there Lane... my lecturer who happen 2 b a visiting lecturer started begging me 2 find hiding place 4 him, mean why na just car tyre explode

holamiday:
That occurrence still goes on in UNILAG till date. It usually happens on evenings when the guys are idle in a blackout. God bless you if you are fat and you pass by. There's another version at Jaja hall too. Those ones tease faculty of science girls.

Some things never change...

poshestmina:
Reminds me of Nelson Mandela hostel boys in Uniport ,those boys were troublesoooome .they'll gather themselves in groups and wait 4 girls to cuss and bully .

so you were one of those guys

So many.
One happened on Tuesday. I was almost closed for work and have closed the door and left only the small one slightly open. My stomach has been rumbling since morning and I've been stifling myself from releasing some dangerous gasses into the environment and wouldn't want to endanger the life of the customers.

Na so I felt flatulence and decided to ease out and release some since the door is closed and I'm alone, that was when the devil decided to disgrace me and sent the man I respect the most into my office.
When I saw him I wanted to escape through the window but he had already seen me. As he forced his way in through the small opening. He got in but couldn't believe or understand what was happening . I watched as he struggled to breathe but couldn't. The odour was more pungent than a rotten egg. He looked at me defeated and throttled back through the door with his eyes blinking intermittently. I thought he was losing consciousness.

I really don't know what to tell him. I've been avoiding his office. I don't know whether to go and apologize to him or to ask him what he wanted during the unfortunate visit.

Oluwasaeon:
Like always bro...Making them know water is wet

Oluwasaeon:
Like always bro...Making them know water is wet